Disrespect - Prairieville,LA

We've had this problem in the past. The biggest thing is to spend time with her / talk to her and try to teach her about being her own person, rather than just picking up what kids at school are doing.

We have also taught that "If you are disrespectful/mean, then all your friends will be that way since the nice ones will not want to be with you. If you want kind friends you need to be kind, too."

There is no quick answer but we've found (especially with our daughter) that there really is no issue that is not hugely helped with a big dose of attention, listening and quality time. Which is often the most difficult thing to give, but it really is the closest thing to a cure-all.

Good luck!

it seems to me my major cause of disrespect is my parents being controlling i mean dont get me wrong i understand i am living under their roof and all and i understand honor thy fatther and thy mother but when parents talk to you in that kind of a voice that says say one thing wrong and im gonna flip out it actually makes me be disrespectfull sry this is completely unrelated

Sorry to hear that your little one is disrespecting you. Since the disrespect just started after she started school, maybe she is having a tough time at school with something or someone or on the bus? School is a HUGE change for a child and she may not know how to adjust to this new change....long hours, not seeing Mom (and other siblings) during the day, not having an afternoon nap, etc. If you already haven't, try speaking with her about this new schedule on a day to day basis. Ask her everyday "How was school today? And be prepared to listen to her answers if she wants to talk. Is someone at school mean to her? Visit with her teacher via email, phone, or send a letter to her in your daughter's folder and ask her what your child is like in class - withdrawn, acting out - or if there is another kid who acts out who is around her. Tell her teacher that she has started this new behavior at home so that her teacher will be aware. Talk with the bus driver to see if there is a kid who is mean on the bus. The overall goal is to understand your child's reaction to her first year of school and address any sadness, anger or whatever emotion that may be causing her to be disrespectful. She seems like a good kid, so I'm sure it's something about school that may be bothering her since it started after kinder. Good luck and remember: This too shall pass. Hang in there.

Try this:

I also have a very headstrong daughter and this is what worked with her....Giving her choices. Many times children feel like they have no contorl over their lives, mom or dad tell them what to wear, when to eat, what to eat, etc. By giving the child choices, they feel like they are in control (when actually, you still are!). The key is to give 2 choices with each question (and ask as many as possible to give them more choices), either choice you are happy with.

Example:
When your daughter tells you she is thirsty, you say:
Would you like the red cup or the orange one?
Would you like juice or milk?
Would you like a lid or a straw?
Would you like to drink it in the kitchen or at the dining room table?

This works with discipline too...
When your daughter shows inappropriate behaviour, you say:
That behaviour is not acceptable in our home (or at church, or at the supermarket, etc.), would you like to spend 5 minutes time out in on your bed or in the dining room chair? If the child refuses to choose, you just up the time and repeat the same question. Again, if they refuse to choose, you just up the time and repeat the same question. Eventually they will see that the time is getting longer and longer and will choose.

The tough part is sticking with it in the beginning. When they refuse to choose (when it's not discipline) or try to give another option, you choose for them and STICK TO IT. This teaches them that if they won't choose from your options that you will take control back and choose for them. It won't take very long until they will choose because they will learn that if they don't you will choose for them and take the control away. If they refuse to choose (when it is discipline) you just keep upping the time and at some point you just stick with it so they will remember the next time that the punishment is worse if they don't choose.

My daughter is now 18 and a wonderful young lady, however, at 2 she was driving me crazy because she was so stubborn and strong willed. This method worked wonders on her. These children won't do what you want them to do just because you want them to do it, they won't do it until they decide to do it and that can be quite frustrating!

Good luck!!!

Take some things away that she love playing with just maybe that will help are find out her surroundings maybe its who shes with at school.