Discipline for 5 Year Old...

If your child is in school you could go in and speak to the guidance counselor. They should be able to refer you to someone in your community that could help, share some books or videos with you, or just give you some strategies to try on your own. Your doctor should also have a list of counselors or therapists that could help.

Is the behavior happening only at home? If she is getting along fine in school you might want to consider family counseling.

I mean his in an encouraging way: You probably have not tried everything long enough and in a good enough overall system for it to really work.

You can stop any child from hitting you or destroying things if you are absolutely FIRM enough while being consistent in a loving home. Her whole world should stop and her discipline should be NO JOKE when she attempts that. Every single time, for as long as it takes. You should not be angry, disrespectful (yelling, screaming) or inconsistent. You need to be a solid, calm, rational wall of immovable boundaries. And loving at all other times.

I recommend the book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson to bypass all the mild positive parenting that will NOT help a child who is this violent. Do that while you seek help, and hopefully it will improve.

If you feel she is medically not able to comprehend things, you should look for specialists, but at 5, if you don't suspect problems with her mind, she needs discipline. From YOU, her mother who loves her, not from strangers. Even if she shipped off to a boarding school (if they have those anymore) who was super tough, her behavior would relapse when she got back home if you do not know how to handle her firmly. You can do it. Don't give up on your daughter now. She needs you for a long life to become a good person.

try a psychologist? maybe theres something going on with her that she cant talk to you about

She very likely needs counseling if she is very aggressive. In the meantime, Dr Sears is an expert in this field and has excellent advice on disciplining children, as well as controlling your anger as a parent:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

I had a foster child who was this way. We immediately got into counseling and then had a thorough psych exam. I urge you to try that so that you'll know why she is this way and also so you can learn a different way of disciplining her.

We received counseling through a children's home. You can call your state Children's Services Division to get a referral.

You can also voluntarily place her in foster care where you both will receive help if you're to that point. There are therapeutic homes for children. CSD will know who and where they are.

She is so young.
Have you discussed it with your Pediatrician? Perhaps she needs an overall assessment? Then, per the results, the Doc can make a referral to a Professional, for your daughter.
Then you will know if it is a discipline behavioral problem, or a chemical problem or medical problem... or perhaps she needing therapy or something?

Next: has she always been like this? Or is it recent? Are there things that trigger her? Like lack of sleep or being hungry and low blood sugar? These things can really tweak a kid.
Any problems in her life or stresses? Any instability in her life? Any peer or school problems?
Is she like this only at home? Or everywhere?
How is her communication?
How is her sense of self?

It can be many things.

This sounds extreme for a child who has had any sort of discipline. You don't give enough information about what you've tried for me to make any kind of recommendation about that.

You sound overwhelmed, which we all feel from time to time, but the solution is not to send her away for someone else to fix. Maybe she needs professional or psychiatric help... again with so little information it's hard for any of us to say. Get her evaluated and see if there's a serious problem that goes beyond basic disciplinary methods.

If she just hasn't had consistency and is out of control because she's without boundaries then you need to educate yourself. I highly recommend two books... Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child and How to Talk So you Kids WIll Listen and Listen So your Kids will Talk. These two books (if effectively applied) will change the way you view your child, the way you parent and your child's responses to how you parent.

To each his own with the spanking bit, but I've never used it and never needed it to make my kids behave. I think it's an antiquated way to discipline and that it backfires in the end. I agree with consistent, firm discipline, and I don't think that your daughter is beyond hope at age five. Yes it's harder to change than if you had started at age 2 or 3, but 5 is a hard age anyway. Parenting is hard work. Step up Mom... you giving up on her isn't going to help her.

I posted this yesterday but it seems to have disappeared. So here it is again:

It sounds like you really need help. Is there anyone in your family that can watch her and give you a little break?

Please do not give up!! I think you need to talk to a doctor and tell them how you feel. They are there to help, not to judge. They should be able to better guide you since they will know more professionals and also the details of your situation, and take into account the personalities of all involved. They can get you in contact with applicable social services, if that is what is needed.

Please make the call to a doctor -- whether it be your child's pediatrician, your family doctor -- today. Don't delay. It sounds like it cannot wait, especially since you are concerned that you might hurt her.

Or you can call 2-1-1 or ###-###-####
24-hour Hands On hotline to help Franklin County families find local resources they need. They may be able to help you find somewhere to help with the discipline/behavior problems.

God bless and good luck.

LisaD

I would suggest the doctor to help find a counselor of some sort to assist you

best of luck