Disappointment

A. - My sister had 4 boys and really wanted a girl so she and her husband decided to try one more time. (They didn't really want another child and the decision was quite hard.)Anyway, she did get pregnant again and at her 7 month prenatal exam the doctor heard two hearbeats and told her that she was expecting twins. This was over 40 years ago before ultrasound was used and we didn't learn the babys' gender until birth. She was quite happy and considered the possibility of two girls. She delivered two healthy boys. They gave up on having a girl. She finally accepted that this was to be and she was happy that the boys were healthy.

J. T

A., I experienced the same thing when I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd daughter in 2001. My husband was very upset about it, he complained he couldn't do things he wanted to with a girl. I told him girls could do anything a boy could, except father a child and possibly pee standing up. Whats funny, is the girl I then gave birth to is a total tomboy. We did end up having another child in 2004, a boy, but by that time my husband was over the whole "I need a boy" thing. And with our 9 year old daughter, we have a little bit of everyone, girly, tom boy, boy. Your husband needs to understand the fault lies with him, not you. And this child will be different from your 2 1/2 year old daughter. I don't have any sisters, just 2 younger brothers, so I was thrilled to find out I was having a 2nd girl. They fight like cats and dogs, but typically get along. They are night and day from each other too, Lily the 9 year old is very black and white in her world, typical first born. Caroline is much more of a free spirit, finding out how far she can push the limit on everything. I wouldn't change them for anything.

I hope your husband realizes what a gift this girl is to your family. I get upset when I hear about dads to be being upset they're having a girl. I feel it demeans how important a daughter is in a family. I was very angry with my husband when he was pouting about Caroline being a girl. As a diabetic, I was just thrilled with a healthy baby, I never cared what gender the child was.

I hope this helped you! I see you're also in STL. Good luck with baby #2. Your older daughter will revel in being mom's big helper.

C.
Mom to Lily (4/98) Caroline (4/01) and Samuel (7/04)

A.,

In reading your story and reading your info on you and your husband, I am going to take a stab in the dark here and say that you are beleivers. My advice to you is to pray for your husband. You will not be able to change him but God can. Pray that God will give you wisdom in your situation and give your situation over to Him. I am pregnant and due in August as well with my 7th. Although I haven't experienced your exact situation, I have had challenges as well. I always remind my husband how Blessed we are that God would choose to give us the children that he has. Psalms 127:3 says that Children are a Gift from the Lord. I will pray that your husband will see that they truly are a gift and that the sex of the baby isn't that important.

Keeping you in prayer, K.

Sorry, but that is sad, no matter how disappointed one parent would be about not getting the sex of the baby you want, you should still be happy that you will be the proud parent of a boy/girl. Not really sure what to say but give him time, once you start showing and he feels the baby kicking he will be delighted, he will come around.

Congrats to you and your family

Take your husband to any hospital neo-natal wing where babies are struggling for life and parents are praying for miracles. Your husband has to grow up. Now. If he thinks he life won't be complete until he has a son, he will be a sad man all his life. What happens if he has a son and it turns out the boy has disabilities? Will he reject him? And how will his daughters feel knowing that dad doesn't really care for girls.

Protect your daughters and help you husband mature.

Good luck.
J.