Dealing with Anxiety Techniques

Severe anxiety can be traced back to adrenal malfunction. Usually it is caused by the body pumping out to much adrenaline, (the flight or flight hormone.)The body uses adrenaline when the blood sugar is too low. And blood sugar gets deregulated and low because of low cortisol from the adrenal gland.Sooo, get a saliva cortisol test (not blood test) or do a 1 hour glucose test to see if the blood sugar is low. If there are problems on the glucose test- look at low cortisol.

Anxiety can be caused by low blood sugar (low cortisol) or an adrenal tumor (Pheochromocytoma).

We did the inhale exhale - it worked well for my daughter.

The other thing I did with her (overall, but certainly about her anxiety) was to give her an 'attitudes' section of her closet where her 'attitudes' hung. If I didn't like the 'attitude' she was wearing, I instructed her to go in the closet and chose a new one. You could maybe expand this to say 'go get your 'courage' on - or whatever.

I also think with my daughter it was about control of her environment, so the more I information I could give her the better she felt. So I got really really detailed for a while. We are going to walk out and get in the car - you first then I'll shut your door and walk around and get in on my side. We're going to take 2nd Street and then turn right on Elm - which takes us to the park. I don't know where we'll park - there are those 2 lots, so we'll see which one has a space, but when we park I'll get out first and then come around to your side and open your door for you. etc etc.
It did take a while, but I sort of realized that if I 'thought out loud' it helped her to know what was coming.
I also found (as I had critics) that this actually IMPROVED her ability to be flexible (btw she also had a 'flexibility hat' to put on which we had more of one so she could always get to it). BUT I would have to talk her through being flexible. Oh look - there's 40 kids at the park today. That's too many so it's not safe. I think we will go to the 'whatever' instead. Let's go walk back to the car.....

My daughter also had an acorn that she carried with her and would rub it when she got freaked out (make sure you can get extras of whatever you end up teaching her to use if you self-soothe - it SUCKS when you loose the only one you have). That was also helpful.

3 was tough for us - this was the beginning of the divorce of me and her dad (which took about 1 1/2 yrs total). It's a hard age, because they aren't really a toddler anymore, but don't have all their words or impulse controls yet.

Good Luck!

Inhale and exhale and/or drawing a picture of his favriote thing and studying it and having a story to tell about it. Then closing his eyes to see the picture when we is feeling overwhelmed and it will take him back to the picture, a story he told using the picture and from there to relaxation. that is what I was taught when my child was in theorpy for anxiety.

She is 3.
They get like this.
It is a hard age.
They like routine.
They are becoming a 'big kid' but are still 'baby' and maturity wise... they are still developing.
They do get like that.

Does she nap?
Tired kids, ALSO act like that. They have no patience and get irritable.

It is also a personality type.
Some kids/people just being more routine oriented or others being more adventurous.

One way, to assist... is.... BEFORE you go and do anything, prep her about it first. Meaning, talk to her about it, what she needs to do to get ready, explain where you are going and why, make the 'process' of it.... tangible to her. Not just all of a sudden.
Some kids... simply NEED to 'transition' to things... first. By getting a head's-up about it, first. Before the said activity, is going to happen.

But if it concerns you, maybe talk to your Pediatrician.

But to me, she is simply acting like a 3 year old.

Or, maybe, like many young children, they simply get overwhelmed with all the 'choices' they have.... and expectations on them.

But if she never wants to leave the house.... and it does interrupt daily living... then well, maybe she is having a hard time... with that.
So then, talk with your Pediatrician about it...

If you haven't read "Wemberly Worried" by Kevin Henkes with her, I think it's a good book to stimulate some discussion about how she feels. Also, maybe your kid is just resistant to change (like my kiddo) rather than feeling anxious. My 4-year-old just doesn't ever like going out OR coming home OR taking time out of her busy play schedule to do anything else. This is just a transition issue for us.

I really like the inhale and exhale technique. I also really like what the other poster said about talking about all the details of what to expect. That can be very comforting for a kid with anxiety re: control or fear of the unknown (what to expect). Other simple techniques are cooling off your soup (version of breathing). Kid cups hands in front of face like they are holding a cup of soup and inhales (through nose) and exhales slowly (through mouth)...like they are cooling off some soup. Another is to give themselves a big hug and squeeze really tight for a few seconds and release a couple times (or they can just grab, squeeze and release their upper arms)...this is a muscle relaxation technique...it is hard/impossible to feel anxious in a calm body. Along the same lines having a 3-5 second full body shake to shake out tension in muscles can help kids feel more calm.
Good Luck...I wish more mothers taught their kids healthy ways to deal with stress and anxiety.

A few things that haven't yet been mentioned. Rescue remedy from Bach. You can find it at your local health food store. You can get the spray. It works wonders on emotional balancing.
You might consider looking into sensory integration with an OT. If she has some imbalances in her nervous system this is a big help.
Lastly, chiropractic care can also balance her system.
Go to the ICPA website to find a chiropractor that is used to treating children.

It sounds like an issue of control-who wants to have it and who doesn't want to give it up. You're the mom and the control should be yours, only your child, by nature wants it and autonomy, and self determination and she is going to fight for it! God bless her, she is normal and you have done a good job! Even people with anxiety and profound phobias can be desensitized after repeated exposure to what they are anxious about. Don't give her choices-just lay the clothes out at night- and say this is what you're wearing tomorrow and we are leaving the house at 8:30 and I will help you get ready if you need me to.After school, I will pick you up-we're going to grocery shop and if you are not too tired, we'll stop and get a hot cocoa or something. When we get home, you can play or help me fix dinner and finish folding the laundry. After dinner, you can take a bath and read before bed.And so on-give her a schedule-talk about it-and when everything is laid out in order and predictable, she will feel less stress-like she is participating in the direction of the day-it is not directing her. She'll feel like she is making choices-not like they are being made for her.

We had a three year old with clinical anxiety but she wasn't diagnosed until she was 4. What helped her was Lexapro. However, the tantrums and fits don't sound like anxiety. Crying, nervousness, clinging, and more crying were the symptoms we dealt with. She cried over the most ridiculous things and she cried like 40-50 times a day. Maybe your child expresses things differently. If it's clinical anxiety though, I don't know of any behavior modification that will work - and we tried it all. I also don't subscribe to granola based homeopathic approaches to diseases of the neurotransmitter variety. A lot of moms here do, but I treat diseases with medicine...