A Friend Posted This in a Group I Am in and Thought I Would Ask More Moms

Updated on January 01, 2011
E.F. asks from Chattanooga, TN
8 answers

for their advice. Here is the question! =) Oscar slept through the night from about 5 months on until around the time of his 1st birthday in August. Seriously, I could put him to bed at 6:30 and know I wouldn't hear a peep until around 6 the next morning! Then, some changes happened...he turned one and was moved up to the next "class" at his daycare, which was very difficult for him. Transitions, right! He had loved his infant room there but learning the new, more structured schedule was hard for him, even though his main caregiver moved up with him. He began thrashing on the floor and screaming at drop-off, which he still does for just a few minutes most mornings even now, 4 months later, though he does seem to have adjusted and seems to have fun after the initial dropoff (I've spied). I think the worst thing was they had a 1 nap a day (12:30-2:30) schedule, and he just was not ready to drop to one nap. I believe the napping change and the separation anxiety worked together to disrupt his sleep. To add to the mix, his dad has insisted on trying to slowly push his bedtime later (currently 7-7:30), to allow them to spend time together each day since he gets home later and also in belief that will help him sleep better, which I don't believe myself. Since September, our lives have been a blur of sleep-deprivation.
Oscar goes to sleep very easily. We have a routine, quiet time, white noise, lovey to hug.... If anything he might fuss for 30 seconds, and then we don't hear a word on the monitor and he goes right to sleep. However, at some point each night, usually around 2ish, he wakes up and I hear him cry out. I have watched him through the door and see that he will be in his sleep position, eyes closed, but every few minutes his little leg will kick like he is restless and he will cry out. I think he is trying to go back to sleep and can't. This will increase in intensity from little fusses every couple of minutes until he is completely worked up. Typically he is awake for 2-3 hours. Last night he was awake from 12:30 until I actually gave him Benedryl in desperation at 3:30 (only the second time I have done this.)

In the past 4 months, I think I have tried everything! Giving him time on his own, holding him, rocking him (both stop the crying but don't necessarily put him to sleep), bringing him to bed with me (he thinks it's playtime), patting his back in the crib (enrages him, he wants to be held)...even crying it out at his dad's insistence (that leads to 2plus hours of screaming and no change in behavior). The longer he is awake the more almost manic he becomes, from drowsy and putting his head on my shoulder to clapping, laughing, wanting to get down and play. Sometimes if I get to him in time and hold him I can put him back in the crib and he goes to sleep, but those times are becoming less frequent. When he does sleep through the night, he wakes up at 5, or even 4:30, and can't go back to sleep, even though he is rubbing his eyes and yawning. His behavior during the day is getting worse, and I think it is because of his needing more sleep.

Does anyone here have any tips of things that worked for them that I might try? Or is this just something I have to accept? As it is now, I am barely functioning at times and have trouble sleeping even when he is asleep because I am so anxious about the coming night.
Thanks for listening and sorry this is so long.

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So What Happened?

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSES. This is the best website. I have forwarded along your thoughts and suggestions. I know she will definitely appreciate it. I have a 9 year old and 5 year old so it has been a very long time since I have had to deal with sleep troubles. Even when they were very young they slept good unless they were sick. You all are wonderful and I hope each and every one of you has a wonderful New Year!!!!! Thank you again! Ellen from Chattanooga

More Answers

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like your son was not ready to change to one nap a day. My son, who is 2-1/2 now, took two naps a day for the longest time. At his day care they let the children sleep anytime until they are at least 2. He now takes just one nap, from 12:00-2:00 at day care, but on the weekends he may sleep three hours or more. If he doesn't get enough sleep during the day he does just what your son does - wakes up, cries, has trouble going back to sleep. I would talk to the day care about this issue and see if he can be moved back to the infant class, or if he can take a short morning nap. If this just is not possible, I would try an earlier bedtime at home. I know this will be tough for your husband - mine works late too and misses time with our son. However, you must focus on what is best for your little one and you really need to get your rest as well. Maybe your husband could do something special with your son on the weekends to make up for time missed in the evenings. This is often what my husband does. It absolutely sounds like your sweet boy is not getting enough sleep.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

He sounds very overtired, which would explain the manic behavior at night.

I think you have two options: the first is to put him to bed earlier, and let your husband have a nice chunk of time with Oscar alone on the weekends. I'm not being unsympathetic here; I know that dads truly do want to connect with their children. I also have a neighbor with older children (nearly 3 and 5 y.o.) who keeps her kids up to see their dad. They are a screaming wreck in the morning as they head out to kindergarten. If these older kids are having a tough time of it, imagine how hard it would be for a younger child.

The second option is to change care providers. To me, this is the less attractive option, as there would be some huge adjustments for Oscar.

There's an old saying I learned when I started working with kids 19 years ago: Restful days bring restful nights. If he's so incredibly tired, an earlier bedtime will really help. Please understand, too, that this isn't forever. Another year or so, and you'll see that he's got more energy and can stay up longer. By three, they're usually ready to give up their naps, but will usually be offered a nap/rest time in daycare, so then there will be more potential for later evenings.

But for youngest children, I like to keep in mind that we have to often adjust our expectations and schedules to their needs, not ours. And your husband will have a LOT of time in the future to connect very meaningfully with his son. This is a sacrifice on his end, and Oscar is so fortunate to have a father who's interested in spending time with him. And it's a temporary sacrifice. In the end, though, if you are exhausted, something needs to change.

Best wishes,
H.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Boise on

E.,

When someone has low blood sugar, the blood sugar drops during long hours of no food when sleeping. The body senses that the blood sugar is dropping and in an attempt to maintain blood sugar to the VITAL organ-the brain, it will signal the backup plan- pump out adrenaline from the adrenal gland between 2-3 am.. This will bring up the blood sugar- but it also causes the person to be quite awake and unable to go back to sleep!

The root cause of blood sugar deregulation is low cortisol, this is a hormone made in the adrenal gland that controls the blood sugar and many other body functions. Read this writeup on cortisol:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol

The best way to check for low cortisol is a SALIVA cortisol test (it takes a reading at 8am, noon, 4pm, and 9pm). However it is difficult to do with young children- to get them to spit a whole vial of spit four times a day. Typical general doctors will usually want do a simple morning one time cortisol blood test to check the cortisol levels, but this test really is only accurate if you are SOOO depleted of cortisol you are almost dead (Addisons disease). It does not work for adrenal insufficiency. In fact, it can and usually will be normal or even high at 8am (giving the doctor a false interpretation that everything is ok)only to drop below levels at noon and beyond. The reason for the high morning spike is usually the body trying to raise the blood sugar and get ready for metabolizing the morning meal-or, in the case of Addisons people, the principle is similar to "the lighbulb burns the brightest just before it burns out".

You can get 1% hydrocortisone cream from the store, the kind for skin rashes. This is a manmade cortisol replacement and people with adrenal fatigue can use it as part of their regime.They would put on a small amount at 8am, noon, 3pm. Licorice root is also helpful as it increases the time cortisol is in the body. This is also taken at 8am , noon, and 3pm. But it does raise blood pressure! People with severe adrenal fatigue use this as by that point they usuallu get LOW blood pressure so the herb helps in both respects.

I would suggest , before you use it either of these, you research them. Also try to get the child checked out with the saliva test and get under a doctor's care. You cannot be on the cream when you are taking the cortisol tests. Be aware that MOST general doctors don't have a clue about adrenal fatigue. Even endocrinologists have a hard time accepting that anyone has an issue unless they have it so severe that they are very, very ill. Even then it is unbeleivably dufficult!You can look up adrenal fatigue and hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) online.

Canaryclub.org has the cortisol test withour a prescription at about 100 bucks or so. If you do not know how to interpret it, you can get signed up with the adrenal fatigue bulliten board, the mods can help.
____@____.com

Email me if you have any questions.
I have a 14 yr old daughter who presented with adrenal fatigue at 3 yrs old, who spent her childhood in hypoglycemic states and then in arthritic pain starting at 5, at puberty (when hormones surge) went into full swing advanced adrenal fatigue (looks like chronic fatigue syndrome), but was never diagnosed until 13. I am STILL trying to get the endocrinologist to accept that she is as sick as she is. (adrenal fatigue patients LOOK WELL but are ill inside. Doctors and friends will say "but they don't look sick". Yes- that even comes out of doctor's mouths!The endos in Boise are so overworked with SOOO many patients they will only take you if you have adrenal cancer, otherwise your appt is a year out. Hidious.
Again I suggest you get on the adrenal yahoo loop and tell the moderators about your situation (after you have had labwork done-they will ask you for them).

Be well,
Gail

2 moms found this helpful
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T.D.

answers from Cleveland on

The answer is very, very simple. He is over tired. Once a person and especially a baby becomes over tired it is very hard for them to sleep peacefully through the night. I can not believe that a daycare would only allow one nap a day for a child before the age of two (and even then I would go on a case by case basis until 3) to only have one nap a day. That is not nearly enough day time sleep for that age. Since there is no way to change the day care then you need to make sure he is going to bed when HE needs to and not when dad wants him to. I know it will be hard for him to accept the decreased bonding time for the good of his son. He needs his sleep. If he was doing better at 6:30 then let him go back to that time. He needs to make up for that sleep he is missing during the day at night. The only other suggestion I can think of would be to try to get him to nap as soon as you bring him home from daycare and then let him be up for a few hours in the evening with his father and adjust his bed time as needed. This could back fire though and you may end up with a child who won't go to bed before 10.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have any advice, as my daughter is 9 months and we are going through a similar issue with her being overly tired now that she is crawling...however I thought I would share that Dr. Sears is a great resources for different issues and has a useful link called medicine cabinet on the home page at www.askdrsears.com. He provides a dosing chart for Benadryl beginning age 1...although he does say not to use it as a sleep aid. Your friend may check with a local health food store to see if there is something natural and safe that may help relax her child for a better night's sleep....right now I'm using the bedtime lotion and massaging my daughters legs and feet while she nurses before bed...that seemed to help last night.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Did the day care not slowly transition him from infant to 1? Once my son turned one it took him/them 6 weeks at lest until he was full time in the 1yr room and they did not even start him on the transisiton until he was more like 14 or 15 months old. I would see if there is anything they can do to readjust him and get things back on track for him. I would be shocked if they just moved him but it appears from your post that they did just that.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sounds like he just needs that second nap. My son was similar when he switched to the one year old room at his daycare. We convinced them to let him sleep on a mat in the corner in the afternoon. If your daycare won't allow a second nap, I would change daycares. I think that would be less traumatic than what you are going through now. We also needed DS to have a later bedtime than the 5:30 he would fall asleep at without his nap since we would also never see him awake without it.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Sorry you are having trouble. A few things...You gave him benadryl? He is too young to have that. I wouldn't do that again. Very dangerous---especially since you are not using for intended purpose and he is not of age to be using it- As far as easier bedtimes, I think you need to just keep consistent with 7-7:30 bedtime and only go in his room in the middle of the night if he is really restless. If you can, put a cd player in the room with luluby music and play it continuously through the night--he will fall back asleep easier with the music. Hope this helps and good luck. I must say you are very fortunate to have such an easy sleeper--most babies have a greater time going to sleep and some wake several times a night still at your son's age. You should be very thankful! :)

Take care,

M

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