Days and Nights Mixed Up

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think this is pretty normal at least for the first few weeks... My son was the same way for at least 6-8 weeks and I spoke with other people whose babies did the same thing. Good luck!

hi. when he takes naps during the day is he in his carrier or crib? my daughter (now 26) was the same way, sleep good in the daytime but at night not. i got up with her one night and put her in her carrier and she went straight back to sleep. i put the carrier and all in her bassinet and never had problems after that. hope it helps good luck and God bless

At less than 2 weeks you really have to follow the baby's lead. Breast is best and your daughter will produce just the right amount of milk for you grandson, so do not make her feel uncomfortable or push her toward formulas and cereals that are not good for you grandson and which will reduce her supply. The first few weeks are all about supply bringing her milk in and at the right levels. Contact the hospitals lactation consultant with any concerns you may have.

She needs to sleep when he sleeps no matter when that is. Maybe providing little stimulation or sleeping beside him to show him what it's time for would be an effective solution for the moment. She can side car her son's crib to the bed to have him near so if he does wake at night she can quickly, without much loss of sleep, feed him and ease him back to sleep.

EEK! and do NOT buy "Baby Wise" like another poster suggested. The guy who wrote it is insane. Stick with Dr. Sears.

http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/1998/08/06/cov_06f...

When it's time for night time feedings and changes Do Not turn on any lights and tv or whatever. Get the baby up but do not talk to them. Have a night light near the changing table but make that the only light. As I said before do not talk to or sing to or anything to the baby. Change the baby, feed the baby then back to bed. If it is bottle fed have the bottle ready before getting the baby up so they are not going to the kitchen or whatever with lights and noise.
During the day have them out where there is noise and and such let them sleep in their car seat or bouncy seat especially for the first couple hours in the morning and afternoon-evening hours. This does not mean you should try to keep them awake it just means their is a different environment for daytime until they figure out night and day. If you try to keep the baby awake he will get over tired and then be harder to get to sleep. They can take some of their naps in their room. But if they are out with everyone for some of their sleeping time it will help them tell the difference between daytime and night time sleep.
I have raised 4 babies and NEVER walked the floors with them except for a time or two when they were sick. If they do this it really will help.
Good luck

A friend of a friend told me to place my daughter on my lap her head at my knees and turn her counter clock wise once. IT WORKED!! tried it though with my 10 day old and it kind of worked. As for the Babywise book....I am still using it!! LOVE IT! best book ever!! My kids are now 7,6,5,and 10days old. My older children were EASY babies I know because I followed this book...some things may be hard to do, but it worked!! My kids still go to bed at 6:30pm and sleep till 7am and slept through the night at 3m (I of course woke to feed them) As for days and nights mixed up with my new daughter....I am following the book, but it is always best to try other things too if one way does not work. It does not hurt to try the counter clock wise method. Good luck to you and me!!!

V., My name is D. and I dont get on here much because I dont have alot of time. However, I was skimming thru todays posts and I noticed your question. I am a mother of 4mo old twins and I am in a mothers of multiples club and they recommended a book called Healthy sleep habits happy child. All the mothers in my group swear by this book and it gets tons of great reviews. I personally borrowed this book from a friend and I am starting it tonight...I dont know if this will help but it is a suggestion. All the mothers in my club have multiples and it has worked for all of them. Hope this helps!
D. D

Unfortunately there is nothing really that you can do while they are this little. My baby will be 12 weeks old this coming Monday and he is still having issues w/night and day confusion. Not as bad as it was, but it just comes w/the territory, I guess. When we first brought him home, he was on the same routine as your grandson...up every hour and a half or so and sleeping a lot during the day. I breast fed and supplimented with formula and our son is/was not a fussy baby. He just couldn't figure out night time from day.

To make it better, I would just tell mom to rest when the baby rests, especially for the first few weeks. This was hard for me to do, but it helped out, tremendously. It took our son until he was 8 weeks old to sleep more than 2 hours at a time; the only reason he did this so early is because we gave him a little bit of cereal with his bedtime bottle. And, like I said, he is still a little confused, but not as bad as it was.

A lot of people think colic means fussy. OUr doctor told us that colic is only colic if the crying lasts for at least 2 hours at a time and nothing you do will console the baby.

It's not easy, but it does get easier. There is a really good website you and your daughter in law can try www.whattoexpect.com and you can also get the book, WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST YEAR. It's got great advice about the sleepless nights, how to identify colic, etc.

Good luck to you!

I really liked the Baby Whisperer's Routines and used them with my daughter. Her plan is straightforward and includes what to do when day/nights are switched. Of her books, my favorite is The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by Teaching You to Ask the Right Questions) by Tracy Hogg. The book is available at Barnes & Noble and online. For more immediate advice there is www.babywhisperer.com

I know what you are going through. When my son was born he did the exact same thing. He is 18 now but he too would sleep all day and wake up every hour on the hour at night. We found out that he wasn't getting enough to eat. I also breastfed my son. Your daughter-in-law and son may need to consider bottle feeding. I had to and it was a relief to be able to finally sleep through the night and to know that he was getting enough to eat. Hope this will help.

My mistake sorry... I read it wrong.. I thought it said 1 1/2yrs old.. I apolige..

V.,

This little guy is too young to be worrying about days and nights yet. His body is helping his momma build up her milk production. Yes, it's tiring but when is parenting not exhausting? The best advice I can give you is let the baby nurse as often as possible (every two hours is what I did) and do the housework yourself so the DDIL can sleep and build up her milk production.

As far as resources, someone has probably already mentioned "Babywise" by the Ezzos. This is what I did with my 1st and 2nd children; the 3rd one had to be toted around to the older ones activities so it didn't work so well then. But, it's still a good way to get the baby into a routine.

K.

I would try to wake him up and play with hime more during the day and tire him out. Every baby in our family was like this.
It just takes time.

Make sure he gets lots of indirect sunlight during the day (near a window but not directly in the sun) and keep the house DARK at night. Don't turn on any lights. I used to turn on the TV to CNN or Foxnews with volume off just so I could see a little and at least read the print across the bottom. The sunlight and dark will help regulate his sleep hormones so his body will sleep at the right times.

Hey Vicki - when our baby gal was born she did the same thing. Slept for 6 hours during the day at times & then would only sleep for 2 hours at night.

What we did was we would talk to her loads during the day (similar to Christine) & at night we would just get her up, talk very quietly if we needed to talk (my husband and I), but we didn't really pay her much attention. We also had a dimmer on our bedroom light, and we kept the lights dim during the night hours when we needed them on.

It seemed to work as from 6 weeks we were getting 5+ hours of sleep from her, which has grown to 8 hours followed by a 4 hour nap.

We were told by our midwife, friends, family and the doctors around us that this is perfectly normal.

There is an excellent book called "Baby Wise" It is an older book and can be ordered from a book store or Christian book store. Look on Amazon .com
We have given many copies away to new parents and they sware by it. You can get your baby on your schedual !!!!

Sorry babies do not have days and nights. This is something we as parents slowly teach them. A full night sleep for a baby is only about 4 hours. Breast milk is the best for a baby, but it is digested very quickly. This causes them to be hungry very fast. My first child I thought was really going to bring me down, I was so tired. I had to work at making her eat for a longer meals. At least 15-20 minutes on each breast. And sometimes a little longer. You always start a new feeding with the last breast they ate on. I did not know this at first. It really does make a difference. After you achieve this it will be better. As a child gets a little older they may want to eat every hour for several hours before bedtime. It is like they get a store up on food. Then they will sleep for hours. As with all things a little work will end up going a long way. For awhile I thought I would never be able to do it, but with a little patience it was great. I ended up breast feeding for 22 months. I also had 3 more children that was very easy once you learn. So don't give up. And I wish you much sucess.

try taking him for a walk outside for about an hour in the later afternoon, maybe around 3 or 4. we also turned off all of the lights and TV at our house around 7 pm, and closed the blinds to get our baby ready for sleep around 9.

PLEASE don't get her a copy of babywise. it is a very dangerous book. the CDC, the American Association of Pediatrics, and the World Health Organization have all come out very strongly against this book and it's practices. it is illegal in many countries because it's techniques are so harmful to the baby both physically and emotionally. please do not give in to those who tell you or her to read it.

Hi there,
I was a neonatal nurse years ago and had to deal with the problem of sleepy babies (esp. when they didn't wake up to eat). We used to undress the babies and wipe them down with a washcloth. We would also rub the bottom of their feet to wake them up. Once they are up, provide as much interaction as you can to give them something to concentrate on. You can try a bath, but that usually winds up making them tired after. I guess the final analysis is: if you wrap him up tight and put him down and leave him alone, he's going to sleep..so anything that's the opposite should work to keep him awake!

Im not exactly sure this is considered advice or anything, but with my son, he was colic from day one and I tried the breast feeding thing but he wasn't getting enough to eat so I had to switch to formula. With the colic, we would boil and onion and give him half of the bottle filled with the onion water and the other half filled with regular water, then put his arms to his sides and wrap him up in a warm, thin blanket like an Indian baby pap. and bounce him and rock him on our knees with or without a pacifier in his mouth. I couldn't wait for him to ger old enough to tell me what was wrong with him!!! He cried ALL OF THE TIME!! We actually hydroplaned off of the interstate in a very bad thunderstorm coming back from the doctor's office one day because of him crying. I was trying to get off of the interstate to wait out the storm and hold him and we ended dup in the median. Anyway not long after changing him to formula,he slept all night.

What I did and it worked for us. During the day time when she awoke, of course she was ready to eat but then the minute she was full went to sleep for hours, then repeated... and during the wee hours of the night... she had her most wake up time.

So after two weeks of this, I had to fix it! From then on every single time she woke up in the am & day hours.. I would stimulate her.. lay her down on my lap and stretch her arms or hold her upright and talk to her over and over, walked with her.. at the beginning of this step she vocalized her want of eating.. but as I stimulate her.. the cry or sounds minimized for a time period while I was figuring different ways to stimulate her.. and when the cry really really came on after as much stimuation as I could get in, I would feed. Just try to be busy with them as much as you can before you feed. Then you will know when they have had enough stimulation and u must go ahead and feed. Every wake up during the day.. I followed these steps .. just keeping her stimulated as much as I could until the sign was strong to feed. The idea is to keep them awake as best as you can without being mean. After the second day, she started liking the stimulation more and more but of course still let me know when she had enough and was ready to feed. She was 2 1/2 weeks old when we started this. Do you know on the 8th day doing this ritual, she flopped her days and nights. She began sleeping more in the night..and less and less in the day. But I still kept my regiman up.. and low and behold we completly had an awesome rhythm that worked for the both of us by 15th day of doing it. Then I didnt have to worry about it anymore!

Try reading the book Baby Wise for help.

Honestly, this situation is completely normal. It takes a few weeks for babies to get used to the new environment. What helped a lot when my son was a newborn (he just turned six months) is to let in a lot of sunshine and light in the house during the daytime and keep it as dim as you can during the night. As for breatfeeding and getting enough to eat, her body gives PLENTY of milk those first few weeks and then her body will adjust production for supply and demand, as long as she is feeding her baby as frequently and as long as her baby is wanting it. (babies tend to want to eat every 1-4 hours) Her baby may be extra hungry at night because he's not getting as much to eat as his body needs during the day because he is sleeping. Have her wake him every 2 hours during the day and offer to breastfeed.
Also, with the fussiness at night, pretty normal. Most likely gas. (Mylacon works great)
Your daughter-in-law and her baby will get the hang of things. Try to be supportive in her decisions because it can be a stressful thing learning to be a new mom and have people tell you everything you should be doing and getting so much advice.
Good luck and here are a few websites that may help:

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home.html

http://www.babycenter.com/

I changed my daughters clothes. It sounds silly, but I had footed PJ's for bed time only and then made sure during the day to have socks on. I also made sure the house had LOTS of light during the day and then kept it pretty dark with just lamps on at night when my girls were awake. It is normal for them to be reversed like this so give it some time. Also, there might be something she is eating that causes an upset stomach. For my girls if I ate dairy, peanut butter, granola bars, lots of veggies, and certain spices it caused a LOT of discomfort! I would have her keep an eye out for a pattern. Usually 2 hours after she eats it the baby will get it if she is feeding every 1-2 hours like I had to.Sorry, one more thing both my girls ate alot during the night and day because they needed it. I would give the baby 3 months to get into the swing of life before you worry too much about not eating enough, and sleeping for a stretch of time.

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother and to your son and daughter in law. Perhaps baby has days and nights mixed up because of "living " in that lighted nursery at the hospital. I know its frustrating, but he will make the changes himself.
the only thing I know of, is perhaps try to keep him awake more during the day. Also, he may need supplemental feeding before he is put down for the night - my youngest (26) breastfed and still needed the bottle. Good luck and again, congratulations.

V.,

You might try to keep him up longer during the day - not allow him to sleep as long. Another trick I used is adding some cereal (baby cereal) to the formula. I know he's breast feeding but a bottle at night might help. My first daughter was 3 weeks old when she started sleeping 6 hours straight.

K. D.

Get her a copy of on becoming babywise. Also, make sure their environment for night sleeping is dark, and the day time is much lighter. Eventually it will work itself out. I used Babywise w/ my daughter and it was fantastic. Will be using it w/ my son when he's born as well.

When my daughter was a new born she was the same way. When I went to the peditrician she told me that people who try to change a babies day and night schedule before 6 weeks is just wasting their time. She said after the 1st 6 weeks you can try keeping the baby up long during the day and not sleep so much and that should help. My daughter just ended up figuring it out after about 6 weeks. Hope this helps. It will change soon. :-)

Hi Vicki
You have tons of good advice on the days and nights so I won't even try, but I want to say that KE has made a very good point. Breastfeeding is the most important thing your daughter in law can do for this child. Please do not encourage her to supplement with formula as this will only decrease her milk supply. Even if she does not feel like the baby is getting much during a feeding her body will adjust to his needs and produce more milk. If you have any inclination to believe that the baby may be a bit collicky, switching to formula now would probably make it worse. It's so great that she has enough support and love from you that you took the time to ask other mamas for advice. Way to go, and remember, this baby's going to grow up fast, just when you think you have a great routine established, guess what, he's going to surprise with something new!

Sometimes it takes a couple of weeks to work it out. Here's my suggestion(s). They've worked for our 7 breastfed kids.

First of all, do not let him go more than 3 hours between feedings during the day. Wake him up if you need to.

When your daughter-in-law goes to feed him, undress him down to his diaper. Make sure she also takes her shirt off when possible. Her body warmth will keep him warm enough.

Make sure he stays awake for a full feeding (probably 10-15 min per side right now). Keep a wipe handy, and if he starts to fall asleep before he's eaten a full "meal", wipe his feet and/or back. If he starts to fall asleep when switching sides, change his diaper. That usually wakes them up, too. It might sound mean, but he'll be happier getting 7-8 full feedings every 2 1/2 to 3 hours than snacking during the day and being up all night! His body will come to find comfort in the predictability of a routine.

Really push for 7 feedings beginning in the early morning, maybe between 5&6 am. If she feeds every 3 hours, that would be 6, 9, 12, 3, 6, 9, and the final one can be a little earlier at maybe 11:00 so she can get some sleep, too. For a while he'll continue to wake (hopefully once) during the night for his 8th feeding. If he gets 7 good feedings during the day, he should drop his middle of the night feeding somewhere around 6 wks on his own.

Also, shoot for trying to let him "play" for about another 30 min after a feeding so that he naps for 1 1/2 to 2 hours before the next feeding. Rested babies eat better than tired ones.

You don't have to make the clock rule everything. The routine can be adjusted as needed for docor appointments etc, and if he's acting truly hungry at 2 1/2 hours after a feeding (or any other time), go ahead and feed him. Except for the last feeding of the regular "day" you want to avoid feeding more often than every 2 1/2 hours, or they'll end up snacking instead of having a "meal". In the beginning, it's usually tough to keep them awake long enough to finish a full feeding because they're so sleepy.

One last thing I read years ago. Since our internal clocks are based on sunlight, if you keep lights on in his room during whatever time you determine will be "day", for example 7 am to 8 pm, it's supposed to help set their circadian rhythm faster. No idea if it's true, but it doesn't hurt anything to do it either.

I can refer you to some good books if you or your daughter-in-law is interested. Best wishes, and enjoy!

Its just going to take a little time for your grandson to get his days and nights set - after all less than 2 weeks ago everything was always dark, warm, and he was never hungry - he's just got to get used to this new environment!
They don't warn about newborn sleep deprivation for nothing!

Some ways to help him get settled...
Wake baby up for feedings during the day, breastfed newborns should eat about every 1 1/2 to 2 hours during the day (sometimes more often, sometimes less) She can just wake him and put him to breast, if he's hungry he'll eat, if not just try again later.
At night, don't wake him to feed, he'll wake on his own when he's hungry.
At night keep things dark (buy low watt lightbulbs for bedside or chairside lamps just enough to be able to see) don't talk to baby or interact a whole lot at nighttime, just quiet shhh's, rocking, and lulabies to lure him back to sleep. Daytime is time to play, talk, tummytime!

Please Please Please be very supportive of your DIL breastfeeding! She has made the best choice for your grandson's health, and I promise that your grandson is probably getting plenty to eat - his wet and dirty diapers and growth will show that - not his sleeping habits. Many women who want to breastfeed quit because they don't get enough support from family members, especially from those who grew up in the generation of bottle feeding and instead of helping the new mom and baby get used to breastfeeding, they push the bottle. That can cause hurt and resentment, even if the best intentions were behind it. Educate yourself on the benefits of breastfeeding and the myths by reading LLL books, going to a meeting with her, and checking out websites like Kellymom.com

It will be a great help to the new family if you help out in other ways, like helping keep the house in order, grocery shopping or running errands, preparing meals, and encouraging mom (and dad!) to sleep while the baby sleeps be it day or night.
Congratulations to all of you on your new BOJ!