My 5 year old is starting kindergarten in 3 weeks. My 19 month old will be starting daycare on Monday. Sounds simple enough, but I'm not doing too well. My mom has been watching my youngest since she was 3 months old and they have become really close. She was only supposed to watch her until she was 6 months old but decided to keep her partly because she wanted to and also my husband and I coudln't afford two in daycare.
Quite frankly I feel like I am going to cry right now. The daycare is awesome and I have zero complaints. I just feel like I am not ready for all these changes. I know that's silly and I didn't expect to feel this way but I do. I would go and visit my youngest every day at lunch and I won't have that anymore. Daycare is closer to our home than my job. My mom lives 2 mintues away from my work.
I'm hoping my Emerson can adjust and she won't think we abandoned her. My oldest going off to Kindergarten is just bitter sweet for me. I'm not ready yet. That just sounds pitiful I know. Time is going by too fast for me.
Anyone have any tips on how to get through this transition? Thank you in advance.
Well I did it. I made it through the first daycare drop off. I think. On Friday we did a dry run through cause I was off. Took her diapers and change of clothes. They had her cubby all ready and decorated for her. Part of me wanted to take the decorations down and say - thanks but no thanks - she won't be in. She played with everyone happily (cause we were there). We slipped away around the corner and she cried. That's when my heart sunk further, and thought about her cubby again and wanted to grab the bin, my child and run. I held it together and dreaded Monday.
Well Monday is here. I'm at work and she's at daycare. It's a strange place for me to be in right now. So used to her being at my mom's. The drop off went as expected. She ran to all the new toys. I hugged and kissed her and said Mommy's leaving and she cried. I actually managed not to cry. I think I lingered too long though. I'm sure I did. The caregiver was annoyed. I told myself I wouldn't do that. I know they like the drop and leave method. I tried that but then I thought well I have to say bye to her so she knows I'm leaving. Didn't want her to think I was still there and have her looking for me. I'm picking her up at lunch and easing her into a full day throughout the week.
I'm grateful that my mom is able to still help out. I don't know what I would do without her. Thank you everyone for all of our words. They helped alot. Now kindergarten in two weeks! yike! Being a mommy is sooooo emtional - the heart strings just keep getting pulled.
This is such a common mother's heartache. I think we all have times and moment we feel like time is slipping away so quickly. A quote I heard once that I try to remember in these situations goes like this...
"Don't be sad because it's over. Be happy that it happened."
Good luck to you and all mom's who love their babies.
Oh my this is a really hard time for you! I remember the first day of kindergarten and the first day of taking them to day care. I think I called the day care 20 times the first day and asked my son every question I could think of after his first day of school. All normal stuff...just keep calm and get into a routine..that will help
When you get home, pop in a good chic flick and just cry!!
When my oldest went to K, I stood in the house and cried. Then that afternoon he asked why I had been standing at the window instead of saying goodbye at the bus stop? It was then that I knew he was okay.
One thing that will help with the younger one on monday is if you take her stuff: extra clothes, diapers, wipes, etc. to the center tomorrow or friday. That way when drop off time comes on Monday, it will be less chaotic and less stressful. You baby girl will take a lot of her cues from you. Don't be too over excited, she'll think your setting her up for something. Just be yourself. Try to be calm, and it will work out. Try not to cry until after you've turned the corner of the building.
I had a bad morning one time. Went to the car and cried. When I was ready to leave, I looked up and my son and his friends were all standing at the window staring at me. Apparently I was good tv! Ooops!
Hugs
M.
My best advice would be to not let your daughters sense that you're upset. Then it will trigger an even worse cycle-- they see that you're sad so they get sad, then you get even sadder because they're sad, so that gets them more anxious about the situation...
It's certainly an understandably hard transition, but this day has to come at some point and children are more resilient than we give them credit for. Your girls will adjust fine. Just try to always remember the thought that "time is going by too fast" and savor each moment you have with your girls. God bless wonderfully sweet mothers like you! :)
You are not alone. Sending my first to preschool while we had a baby felt like I was pushing her away. She did not want to go and cried every day I dropped her off, making it even harder. Eventually I got reports that she seemed to enjoy herself while there and the crying stopped faster. My 2nd did not cry getting dropped off. Both my girls are little home bodies and simply would have preferred to be home instead of school, but having the socializing experience will help when they start elementary school. Make sure you do not compound the problem by letting them know you are having a hard time, and see what they truly feel themselves.
Girl! I cry every day the 1st day of school just like someone else said!! LOL my daughter is going into 3rd grade. I've even cried on the LAST day of school! I know, crazy. They grow up too fast. I want to slow it down most times.
I am right there with you. My son 16 (months) is also starting daycare on Monday.Till now he's been with my parents and in-laws. I am sure they will have a great time there with the other kids and fun activities..its just us moms who are worried.
I cry every year on the first day of school. This year is going to be hard bceause my 2nd is starting kindergarten, and the oldest 2nd grade, and I will be on travel :(. But I'm going to get LOTS of pictures!!! Don't be afraid to cry! Tell your daughter how proud you are of her! I tell my kids all the time they are growing way too fast!! They like it :0). haha....but you are not alone!!!!
My oldest starts K in a month and I am crying reading your post! I am hoping that I'll be able to keep it together until he gets on the bus!!!
I'll be reading to see if anyone has good suggestions... I'm right with you.
J.
I think your emotions are valid. So many families do daycare it seems like its just the next thing to do. But honestly I think its unnatural to not be the primary care giver to your preschoolers. I'd cry too for the transition to Kindergarten. But, I've never been able to swallow the day care pill. It is sad.
Thanks for the post, I'm going back to work on Monday and leaving our 10 week old (my 2nd) in daycare. I'm having heartache over it, too. Last time was tough, this time is also very difficult. I think it's compounded by the fact that it's my last baby, and childhood is ever so fleeting. Oh, shucks, I can barely see the computer through my tears. Sorry, no tips, just that time heals all things.
I'll be thinking about you on Monday, that we're going through it at the same time. Big hugs.
Where I live, I think some moms get together on the first day of school so they can kind of support each other (often with wine!). Any friends in a similar situation that can relate? When my son started Nursery School (2x/week for 2.5 hours!) I thought I'd never last. I think all moms feel like you are. It's a big step! For the kids AND you. Plan something special for that evening for you all to do as a family, maybe? Hang in there!
I think your feelings are normal....Just don't let your kids know how you are feeling and be peppy about them being a "big" boy or girl. Nothing is sadder than watching a clinging child and parent have emotional outbursts at a time that should be so very special! I would much rather see a happy time and a parent being "strong" and then falling apart in the car! I really do feel for you! M. (29 years in the child care industry)
I cried, too, when our kids started daycare. However, my tears quickly ended once I saw how much they enjoyed it. Lots of new friends, lots of new toys, lots of new people giving attention. It worked out well for both of our kids. Our youngest is about to leave daycare in a month to start pre-k and that is going to be hard. Her provider is wonderful and like part of the family, so it's going to be strange not going there anymore. Yet, I know the transition is probably going to be harder on ME than our daughter. I just remind myself that it's going to be a fun new experience for her and how much she's going to get out of it.
Kindergarten is a whole new adventure. You're going to be entering the real school world and dealing with homework. You will likely be so busy with required activities that you won't have too much time to worry about how quickly time is flying.
Good luck! Hope all of the transitions go as smoothly as possible.
Awww! That's very sweet. ;0) I know it seems really hard and sad right now b/c it's just a thought looming in your mind constantly. But, I promise that all it will take is that very first day when your oldest comes home from Kindergarten SO EXCITED to tell you ALL about it and when your youngest comes home with all her super cute artwork and projects and is so proud of herself and wants to show it all to you! My oldest is going into 1st grade next week and my youngest goes to Pre-K on the 9th! I can't even believe it. Time does fly by! But, although I miss the days of my baby girl (1st grader) and my baby boy (my pre-k man!), it is also just as exciting to continue moving on to bigger and better things with our kiddos. =0) You'll be fine mom! I promise!!! You kids' excitement and growing independence will be plenty to show you that you are doing everything right! hugs!!!!
It's okay!
You will cry! I cried when each of my children started school! It's a big transition, and you have two of them! Believe me, it is much harder for you that her. She will have a blast!
It's ok to be sad. I felt better after the first day of kindergarten, but bawled like a baby that first day when I took each of them!
just jump. it will take a bit of time to transition but know that daycare does things for their development that we can't. can your youngest go part time? that might make you feel better. I know it sounds lame but I even had a hard time letting go enough for my 4yo to make the switch to a booster car seat. how will we ever let them go to college? good luck.
