Emotions over Child Entering Kindergarten

I cried the day I dropped my oldest off at kindergarten, and I cry every first day of school since. When my youngest started Kindergarten my oldest started middle school.. I cried. It is a running joke with my boys on the first day of school I agree to " drive away before I cry"

It is always bittersweet. That being said, as a parent, it always brought me
great joy to watch them grow up. You give them love, support and the
tools to go out in the real world. To watch them succeed always brought
me great joy.

This August, my oldest will enter 2nd grade and my "baby" will enter Kindergarten. All my husband and I can think about is how unimagineable life without paying daycare will be!!!!!! We've been paying daycare for what.......7 years now?!?! And for 2 1/2 of those years.......we paid double daycare because both kids were there. At that time, we paid a whopping $294.00/WEEK. It averaged $1,176/month on full time daycare. Now, with just our son in the pre-k room at daycare, we're down to $145/week. So, in all honesty..........we are READY to put that $580/month towards other things in life!!! So we will be throwing a major "WE DID IT" party!!! =0) Plus, my kids have always been in the daycare/preschool world, so it's very exciting to them to transition from their preschool to "BIG school!" My daughter adores school and my son is so excited about going this fall! It's nothing but happiness in our home!! It's going to be like winning the lottery. The only good thing is that all the school expenses that kind of blindside parents who never had to pay for daycare seem like pocket change to us! When parents start complaining of having to send in money for this, and buy this, and pay this fee, and reserve this, etc. etc........I always say, "Hey! As long as school stuff never costs me $294.00 a week.......I am a happy camper!" =0) It really puts things in perspective for me. LOL

Our daughter was SOOOO.. excited about kindergarten.. She could not wait to meet knew friends, get to go to the big kids school, get to play on the fun playground. Eat lunch from a lunch box.. Get to do homework (they did not really assign any, we just had to sign papers each day)..

So that made it a lot easier.. My husband had the hardest time, because he had worked so much, he had not had the chance to spend as much time with her..

It was exactly the same with her leaving for college, he cried, and I was just so happy to see her at a place SHE chose and loved.. It makes it all ok.. Tell him to breath and to never take any time with a child for granted. Every moment, even a car ride is a gift of time with your child.. No matter how old they are..

REJOICE.....your child is embarking on a new adventure! If you approach it with joy & anticipation, then he will too!!

Shame on Daddy for his malaise!

Definitely bittersweet! I was so proud of my son and how big and mature he was and how great he did starting Kindergarten. I was happy he would be at school during the day bc that meant I would get one on one time with his little sister. It was great! At the same time I was sad about him growing up so fast and that he would now be gone most of the day and learning new things without me. I was not overcome with sadness though...just a bittersweet feeling.

I also laughed when I read this.....but I am nortorious for being overly emotional when it comes to my kids milestones lol....I have four kids 8-almost 12 and I cried when the 1st went to Kindergarten and when the youngest started pre-K my husband had to drag me out of the classroom. I also cried when my oldest hit double digits and then this year when she started middle school. I wasn't really sad though just nostalgic I guess. The older they get the faster the time seems to go. My husband and kids know to expect tears now and they tease me all the time :) That being said each time I sent one off too school it did give me more time to focus a bit more on the little ones I had at home and when the last one started school I finally remembered some of the things I used to enjoy before I had kids....like showering without someone standing outside the door. I think bittersweet is the perfect way to describe it....don't feel like you need to feel differently kindergarten is an exciting step :)

It wasn't a big deal for me. Our kids have been in daycare part-time, then preschool, so I'd already dealt with transitions. I actually thought it was a wonderful thing, too. Growing up isn't a sad thing for me.

I honestly can't relate to what your husband is saying. I don't know any moms personally who went into some mourning period over kindergarten. Most were doing silent happy dances.

You're absolutely right. There will be more school holidays/days off than you can begin to imagine. Seems like our school has them every other week. Not to mention, school days are shorter than when we were in school (at least here in California it's not the same as when I went to school in the 70s and 80s).

Don't feel like you need to be bummed out about it. Maybe it's just your husband who is?

Oh my goodness! You sound exactly like me last September when my little girl started K4! I have a dayhome with infants and this year was my daughters turn to leave the nest and go to school. I kept telling people that she will be fine and couldnt wait until that first day thinking of how much more time I would have with one less munchkin during the day. Hey, thats what I felt like up until that first day. What I can tell you of that first day is - she had the best time ever. She was a little scared and shy at first but jumped right back in as if its just another group of new kids joining daycare here at the house. It ended up being me that was the emotional one and I cried the entire way home and felt lost without her for the first week even with a housefull of other munchkins to keep me busy. My hubby just looks at me like Im crazy but hey, she was my entire world and every part of my day. I just bet though when its your little ones first day you will be just like me! :) Take a box of tissue with you, just in case.

Hi,
I laughed when I read this!

I thik you should just tell your husband exactly what you said...any sadness is really replaced by how excited you are for your son and proud of him you are. I, too, felt the same way. When the time came, the only thing that was hard for me was I felt a loss of control in a way. My son went to daycare so I was able to control where he went and was on the board there and super involved. We also used to take him out of school for the day often and do something fun with him when I was off of work and his grandparents used to do the same. So, now, we cannot do this course and he is public school, so there was no choice in the matter there. That was my only issue. I think as a mom, you just sense that your child will be fine through this next journey and that makes you more comfortable too. For instance, I knew my son would make friends easily and slide right in...so that too makes it much easier to let go.

Last night, my baby and my son slept at my parents house...for some much needed sleep for myself. I was elated...I was euphoric. I literally did not know what to do with myself. I slept in my own bed!!! I did not feel guilty for one second!

I think we are likeminded in this respect. My oldest will also enter kindergarten this fall and I'm ready (and so is she!). I am looking forward to having some time with my son by ourselves (since my daughter had that also for the first 2.5 years of her life) and I'm really not distraught at all about it. We do things on Mondays and Fridays when the kids aren't in preschool (like go to the zoo, park, playdates, etc), so we're making the most of our time. I'm sure I'll shed just a couple of tears on her first day, but I'm not in angst over the situation. Every year on the first day of preschool, we have a "Boo hoo/Yahoo" party for the parents, because some of us Moms are the "Yahoo! The kids are in school!" type and some are in tears ("the Boo hooers"). I guess God just makes all of us different and that's what keeps life interesting! Good luck and enjoy your time before kinder!

Daddy needs to get a grip!! lol Our job as parents is to teach our children to be independent adults and it starts at an early age.
And as a stay at home mom, I was also glad of the time to spend with my other child when the 1st went to Kinder. Had those same feelings when she left this year for college!!
One thing I would recommend is to take him to school, walk in and stay NO LONGER than 5 minutes!! The longer you stay, the harder it is on both of you. I remember thinking how could those moms be leaving already with my 1st one and then with the 2nd, I was one of those moms who stayed 5 minutes.
Your child will feel off your emotions so maybe daddy should stay home that day!! lol Or at least talk to him about his attitude and positive energy.

My husband was fine with it, and took it as "just another step in life". I, on the other hand, was so sad to not have my boy at home with me every hour of the day. I just LOVE being with my kids, and although I'd like a break every once in a while, I don't want one all day every day - it's to the point that I've been researching homeschooling (with other factors playing into that too). I guess I just feel like I am missing out on most of his life, and his teachers get to spend more time with him than I do, and I think he's such an amazing kid that I don't want to be away from him! I do hope, however, that your husband isn't making these comments in front of her or pushing his "sad" attitude toward her. I ONLY have good things to say about school to my son, and encourage him to tell me all the wonderful things he did during the day, and then I tell him I am so happy he is in school learning new things and making new friends.

I am in the same boat---I am super nervous about my oldest starting school~ I don't know how I am going to handle it---probably cry on the first day of school....I do understand your feelings though--about wanting to spend time with youngest alone too! I am looking forward to that part.
M

My son will be entering Kindergarten this year also. I'm ok with it, I feel that the Pre school he's at has prepared him for this. He still cries somethings in Pre-K, but I believe that he will get passed that stage as he gets older.

My husband basically feels old when he thinks about it. lol

He graduates in June so we are looking forward to it.

My husband had the same attitude - but he only sees the kids 1.5 hours a day! I'm with them for 12 hours straight, taking care of every runny nose and rear end wipe. I could not shove my oldest out the door fast enough on the first day of school. I think that was the first day in 5 years I was able to SIT DOWN and eat lunch. There is only so much that a human being can take of being a slave. I had my breaking point when my DS turned 5, and now that he's halfway through kinder, I STILL relish being able to sit and eat lunch.

My son will be starting Kindergarden this year also. I just cant believe that time has been flying and my little boy is growing. I guess I will be happy and excited for him to start a new chapter in his little life.

My husband and I are in the same page on this is, just happy for him. Good luck and enjoy your little one at home.

I am with you. I have always celebrated their development into the next stage. Why waste time with the mourning? But I do have to say that sending them off to college was a much tougher "celebration."

I say that you should continue to be positive about it and just tell your husband that you really don't want to make a positive thing into a negative thing. Maybe he will catch on.

I totally felt the same way!! Yay! One more gone for the day and a little time for myself and the littler ones. I LOVE my kids but also struggle with needing to not lose ME. The older one gets those first years to himself but the 2nd/ middle never does if there is a third and the last one always gets some high school years alone. So I appreciated being able to give a little more time to the younger ones while not making the oldest feel left out.
He was starting on his own adventure!
This sounds like your husband's issue. He is feeling old, the passage of time, etc. Probably because he is not living the day-to-day like you are. Sometimes I have to explain to my my husband that his feelings/plans/agendas are his-not mine. We may be married but we are not the same people nor do I want us to be. So your husband is feeling sad while you are looking forward to a new stage. And all of the stages are fun and exciting. I would explain to him that this is a new adventure for your child, a new opportunity for the littler ones and you will feel bittersweet when he starts but overall this is how life works and you are excited about it. Let him express his feelings but make it clear they are not necessarily yours.
Good luck!!

I've had mixed emotions over this one, but I can't say that I ever "mourned" about it. I really loved the infant and toddler years with both of my kids and felt a little sad that the days without school structure and homework were at an end. Once they got into school (for me), it became a much more hustle and bustle schedule. And yes... in our (public) school, there is already homework and projects in kindergarten.

My youngest was so ready in so many ways to move one to something else that it didn't seem as hard to let him go into kinder. And he's got a much more outgoing personality than my (eldest) daughter, so he wasn't clinging to me at the door in the mornings.

Now that they are both in school, I cherish the time off for winter break, spring break, summer vacation etc... and I love watching them grow into this new phase of childhood. I like hearing about the new things they are learning and doing, seeing their confidence grow, hearing about new friends they are meeting.

It sounds like your husband is the one who is really sad about your little guy "growing up" and going to school and is projecting that onto you. I'd talk to him about it... he may also be trying to be sympathetic to how you might be feeling about it, not realizing your position on it. Actually, I think it's pretty sweet and sensitive of him.

Good luck!