I have always wanted a daughter, after 2 boys I finally got her and as much as I love her sometimes I wonder how I am going to deal with her. She is 2 years old and has gotten into this phase of only wanting to wear ballerina type outfits OR dresses/skirts that have enough frill that they flare out when she dances. She literally watches Dancing With The Stars every week and dances as much as she can. She is as advanced as my 4 year old son in regards to everything from talking to her gross motor skills. I have to remind myself that she is ONLY 2 when she starts having her fits about not having the right dress/skirt on. I really don't know how to handle the screaming and fits when she doesnt get exactly the outfit she wants.
HELP, I need some advise please. I have been giving her two options lately and that seems to help but she will literally scream for 30-45 minutes while rolling on the floor whinning if she cant find the exact skirt she wants. Giving her 2 options (Usually, stop screaming and let me help you find something else OR go to your room and scream!) has helped some but I still feel like I want to explode when she does this.
I sat down and talked to Nicole, told her that she could wear her dancin dresses, ballerina stuff when we are home and for gymnastics-but when I ask her to put on "regular" clothes, she really needs to do it. I put all her special clothes in a drawer for her so she has them in one spot and doesnt tear up the whole room looking for stuff.
I have started doing the 2 option thing, either talk to me or come find me when your ready to stop screaming, and that seems to help.
Thanks
I just wanted to say my daughter was exactly the same at that age! She called the dress/skirts roundy rounds because they twirled when she spun lol! :) Now she is 12 and its all I can do to get her to wear a dress ever!! haha :)
Good luck :)
S.
She is 2, choose your battles! It is only clothes. Let her wear the frilly dresses and tutus. She will out grow this stage. I would enjoy it, take a ton of pix and let her have at it!
J.
My daughter is 2 and is the exact same way. She is my little princess and loves wearing dresses, skirts, costumes, and "dancing shoes". We had a hard time with her wanting to wear her Snow White costume and "dancing shoes" everywhere we went. The best way for us to get over this with my daughter was to let her know that we only wear those things when we are at home and they will get ruined if we wear them outside. She will want to wear a skirt when it is 20 degrees outside and I tell her no and she drops to the floor screaming. So what I have done is stood up and told her that Mommy is leaving and when she is ready to get dressed and talk to me like a big girl, like I know she is, and quit pulling fits, then Mommy will come back in. That seems to always work for me. I have also taken items of clothes away from her and put them in her closet on the top shelf and told her that she has to earn them back by being my big girl.
Girly girls are difficult and when they are in their 2's it makes it even harder. Good luck!
A.
What is WAHM ? I agree with most of these answer's; love, encourage independance & originality, more love, choices and accountability for chosen outfits. All great idea's !!
My daughter, used too love to wear her pink snowboots, in the summer. We live in CO and summer's R hot, but that didn't stop her. I used to call her "punky bruster", as sooooo many of her outfits were ORIGINALS. She will be 21 soon and I sure love looking back at all the crazy photo's of her and her "spirit"
God bless and have a gr8 day !
Shelli (ATM)
As long as she is not hurting herself or anyone else I would just let her whatever she wants. My daughter is 4 and does the same thing. As far as the tantrums give her two options of skirts to wear she can pick one or go out in pjs all day then set a timer if she has not picked something by then, then she wears jammies all day. The key is you have to stick to it!!
Hello,
While I don't have a girl I did have a boy that from the time he was about 2 until at least 2 1/2 he had to have his hammer. He slept with it and it went EVERYWHERE he went. I realize it's not the same as ballerina outfits but I think kids find comfort in the attachment. I am guessing it is just a phase and the bigger deal you make it the bigger power struggle it will become and possibly be a power struggle that will continue throughout your relationship. I would suggest some rules for when they can wear it and perhaps there is a part of the costume they can always wear. But really, as one mom said, buy more and let her wear them, she is only going to be two once and is it really a battle YOU must win, it won't hurt her. Eventually she will moved to something else. Right now, my son is obsessed with his stuffed lambs and stuffed cats.
Best wishes.. I know it must be hard.
My suggestion is Buy more Ballerina outfits! I too had three boys and finally got a girl, i was so excited to do the cute hair and cute clothes but it has not always worked out that way. My daughter is very independant and wants things her way or no way also. I finally decided that it's not worth the fight everyday. She loves to wear "dress up"s" EVERYWHERE so we have a bin of past Halloween costumes that is availiable to her for everyday. we have just made a deal that if there is a special occasion such as a wedding, church or school she has to wear "normal" clothes but who cares if she goes to the grocery store in her tutu? good luck and just think years later you will look back and laugh on her costume wardrobe.
First you need to remember she is only 2 years old and really there is no reasoning with a little person this age. What I have learned raising my three kids is, pick your battles and compromise. Does it really matter if she dresses in skirts and ballet outfits every day? I know that seeing little girls, out and about dressed up in costumes or ballet skirts, brings a smile to my face. They are expressing themselves in a very normal way. If the weather is cold, pull on leggings or sweatpants underneath.
You can also dedicate certain days for dress up like M-W-F she wears what she wants and on the other days she wears what you want. You will need a chart for visuals for this to work.
My only daughter, and the only girl in the family, is now 15 and I wish I could see her in a pretty dress or anything besides jeans and sweats. Enjoy your daughter and take lots of pictures because you will want to remember her in this phase when you are 10 years down the road.
I think it is awesome that your daughter has her own sense of style! Let her show the world how beautiful she is. I bet you will see lots of people's faces light up when they see her! I know mine would. My friend's daughter was the same way and I loved it.
Encourage her to add something underneath if it is cold out. Maybe let her walk outside in the outfit she chooses and let her decide if she will be comfortable. Kid's are smart enough to know when they are cold. Don't undermine her intelligence and be happy that you will be one of the few of us that will get our money's worth out of those cute outfits!
Take lots of pictures because in a few years you will really appreciate her free spirit much more!
Hi J.,
I am sorry I laughed through most of your story. I swear not funny laughing but fond memories. When Jesse was 2 he wore a purple Barney suit for months big purple tail and all. I also had a walking talking midget that would spring into yelling tangets too. My best advise is enjoy the little problems you will miss them when she is 13, I do. I have a 13 boy 29 boy and 26 girl, also 4 grandchildren, My barney fan is now 13 and seems to have a disagreement over just about every issue and I too have to remind myself he is only a child, hard is'nt it? Good luck she will out grow this phase and you will miss it. M.
Be happy she wants to wear clothes at all, my son went through a phase where he was happiest naked (or in underwear) rather than wear clothing. Continue with the 2options but move it to the dresses/skirts. you can wear A or B..if not then scream in your room. Also laying ht outfit out the night before helps so you don't have to have the fit first thing in the morning. Hope this helps a little
Hi,
I have EXACTLY the same daughter, but mine is 5 now. All she likes to wear is skirts- and they HAVE to spin- or she wears her ballerina outfits or her princess dresses. And they can't have any loose strings or go passed a certain invisible point on her arm.
We let her pick out what she wants to wear- unless it's inappropriate- like for church or something- she cant wear her princess dresses to church. For those occasions, If she cant decide from the 3-4 choices that she has and she throws a fit I just tell her we are leaving soon and she needs to decide and then I walk away. She usually makes up her own mind in time for us to leave. If she hasn't made a decision after about 5 minutes then i go back in there and re-explain her choices and then walk away again.
If it's just a normal day and we only have park or store outings I let her decide what she wants to wear with no resistance from me. Even if it includes her wanting to wear the same thing she did yesterday- as long as it's not visibly dirty or smelly.
This has worked great for us as she used to be very inflexible on what she wanted to wear. but now that she feels she has some amount of control it has gotten a lot better, especially on church days and special occaisions where we are more involved in what she can and cannot wear.
I also suggest getting the book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" this had worked great for us in learning how to effectively help her to cooperate with us better by understanding how her little brain works. She's not like this in just clothing, but with almost everything in her realm, and I'm sure your little girl is just as veracious in other areas as well.
So, just take a deep breath and walk away. Plan ahead plenty of time before you to leave to take into account her tantrum- so she has enough time to decide and you aren't late for your appointments.
Good luck,
M.
my oldest, who is autistic, went through this same type of phase..i just let her wear those things..as long as it wasn't revealing or inappropriate, i just didn't care if she wore it or not...besides...it made a lot of people smile when we went out and that's all that really matters...that she and others were ok with it :) good luck, this too shall pass.
