I have 2 kids...A boy, 13 yrs and a daughter, 3 yrs....
Lately, my girl has been obsessed with my breasts and vagina. She wants to touch my breasts a LOT - sometimes in public when I'm holding her - yikes! And she asks about the hair on my privates. I'm honest & tell her, "These are Mommy's breasts/Mommy's vagina, etc...." And when she asks if she has these parts too, I tell her, "When you grow up to be a young lady, yes."
I'm an open parent, using proper names for ALL body parts and I don't get dressed in private (well, I do from my 13 yr old, lest I traumatize him ! LOL) I don't walk around the house naked and I don't use the toilet with the door open ("Mommy needs privacy, please.") But, as those of you with toddlers know, RARE is the moment when you are TRULY alone !
My question is this :
Is this just normal behavior for a girl who's identifying with her Mommy? Meaning - she knows that she & Mommy are the "same" - different from Daddy & Big Brother? I tell ya, I was JUST as open with my boy when he was young & he never expressed this kind of intense interest in my body...
BTW, I do follow up my explainations with, "These are private parts of Mommy's body, just as they are private on YOUR body. I don't like them being touched. " She will stop when I move her hand away...
Totally normal. Until just recently, my three year old was obsessed with my nipples. Now she's into the touching herself stage (oh joy) At this age (sometimes even earlier) toddlers become aware of their bodies. Just continue what you're doing and she'll grow into a mentally stable child.
Sounds like you're doing a great job already!
Youre doing the right thing, and yes it's normal. I remember being about 5 and watching my rather chubby great grandmother getting dressed for church on Sunday mornings, she had huge breasts and always had to put powder under them and on them before stuffing them into her bra. (little did I know at that age it was becaue she was probably hot flashing and sweating like crazy off and on all day as I do NOW). I remember being quite facinated with her figure since it was so different than my moms. "Why do you put powder on your boobies Granny?" I would ask. She told me that one day I would do it too, boy was she right... and mine arent even a quarter of the size of hers... lol.
K. I wouldn't react to her, she may just be curious. However at that age she may be asking her older brother or he may be going through changes with puberty so I would just monitor that because he may be the one who needs to be spoken too. Also, if she is a girly girl then you just need to explain and tell her that these are are privite areas and that no one can touch them! And even though you are open, I would suggest some boundries so that if any one ever touched her she would be aware of the fact that touching is not normal at that age.
I think this is quite normal at this age. You might want to spend some time with her in the bathtub or before bed when it is comfortable to be naked and talk with her more about her body and yours. Ask her gentle questions about her curiosity. I'm very open with my daughter, she is 9 now. We are typically naked together each day (easier because no men or boys live here). When she was three we sometimes took baths together. I remember reminding her a few times what was appropriate in public before she remembered. Comfort with her own body is a gift you can give her.
My daughter is almost 3, and she is starting to become curious about these things too. It's normal.
We don't parade around naked in our house either, but there are times that we see each other naked. It happens. I think you are telling her the right thing.
I think you're doing everything right. Keep it up!
Two separate issues going on at once: private parts/touching and anatomical knowledge. You can use O. to teach the other, but they are different issues.
my oldest was facinated with daddy and mommies bodies he would peek in the shower while daddy was showering to see how big daddies was. and ask whats that. why is there hair there etc. and he was facinated by my body also but more so with daddy than mommy.
Hi K., the way I grew up, us kids would only see parents' private parts occasionally, usually by accident, as they would never walk around naked or show too much skin purposedly. When accidentally, I would walk in my mom or dad getting dressed, you could see them being embarassed and cover up quick, so, even if i was a little girl (probably 5), I knew I had to leave them alone.I was still curious, and asked my questions later, they just answered with simplicity, the same way you do.I think is good to leave something to the imagination (provided you keep giving your honest answers and guidance upon request - there's nothing worst that having a parent intruding when you can't care less), in my opinion it makes up for a healthy curiosity about this wonderful thing called sexual identity. If I were in you, i'd just "redirect" her gently when she wants to touch and will stop talking about the subject for a while (or keep the answers short anyway) so that she can get out of the temporary fascination that is causing her to "obsess" a little.Have a great day!
My question to you is why are these parts available for her to touch and see?
LOl. My 2 yr old is the same- I guess she's getting an early start.
Yes, I think she's fascinted because she identifies with you as having similar (but different) body parts. And she's been wanting to touch me alot too. I figure it's a phase like everything else. But I am going to steal your line about explaining these are mommy's private parts. I've been trying to be open but I think it's good to explain that so when it's cold and my nipples are showing, she doesn't go for my them in public! LOL.
It's perfectly normal and you're handling it just fine. My daughter went through a similar fascination with my body when she was little. She'll grow out of it.
