My dad and his newer wife went on their first date the night I went into labor, they went on their 2nd date the day my daughter was born (he didn't know I was going into labor and he didn't go on his 2nd date until after my daughter was born because he was at the hospital w/ me). So she has pretty much been in my daughters life since she was born. I have absolutely no idea what my daughter should call her. She calls my mom and stepdad Gammy and Ganpa, and she calls my real dad Bumpa as well...but she doesn't really call his wife anything. Her name is Shirley and she is kinda like a grandma, because shes married to my dad and she treats my daughter really well (I personally think if it wasn't for her my dad wouldn't be as involved as he is...my dad loves my daughter to death, whether shes in the picture or not...hes just not good with babies/toddlers).
So, I don't know what my daughter should call her. I don't wanna get her confused by calling her grandma. But I would like a special type name to call her. Cuz to me, it sounds kinda weird 'Bumpa and Shirley'.
Any advice and suggestions are wonderful!! lol
Thanks!! I like Mumpa, its cute and orignal.
The reason I don't want her called grandma, is because this is my dads 5th wife, my 4th stepmom (its weird calling someone a stepmom when I'm 30 and shes just newly married to my dad lol). My mom and stepdad have been married for a long time, and hes been a big part of my life (good and bad) for almost 20 years, I really dont even consider him my stepdad, hes more like a dad. And when people ask me what he is to me, I just say my dad. I have 2 dads.
I'm hoping and praying my dad doesn't get divorced again, and I think this time, he finally got it right. But, I just feel a little akward by having my daughter call her Grandma. Grandma to me is someone whose been in my life for a very long time and has been in my daughters life since before she was born and after birth. My daughter is almost 2 and shes distinquishing whose who. Thats why I want her to be called something else then Shirley. I met her briefly for the first time right before I went sorta into labor the first time. And I didn't see/meet her again til my daughter was about a week old.
Shes a great lady, who has a great heart. But, I just can't really see my daughter calling her Grandma. As weird as it may sound, it's just how I feel.
Ask Shirley. My MIL likes to be called Gigi. She picked it and we used it. She may have a name that would mean even more than "grandma" to her.
To two of my grandchildren I am Grandma or Grams to the other two I am Nana. I love all three of these handles and wear them proudly. My mother was Mimi to most of her grandchildren. Ask Shirley if she would like one of these and let her choose the one that she is most comfortable with. I know I would love to be called Mom by my son-in-laws instead of Wennie, which is my name but it seems so cold as I think of them as my sons. Maybe she does not mind being called Shirley. I would let it be her choice. Then all will be happy.
What about "Grandma Shirley"? That's what we did (in the same situation as you), and it's worked great!
---Oops! I am now seeing that you don't want to call her Grandma. Sorry!
I vote for "Mumpa." Bumpa and Mumpa.
Ask Shirley to help you come up with something. She "surely" has a preference, and if not, it will be fun to come up with something.
Why would she get confused if she calls her grandma? Lots of kids have more then one set of grandparent you don think it confusing to call grandpas wife something other then grandma that seems more confusing to a child. If it's okay for her to call your stepdad grandpa then why isn't it okay for her to call your stepmom grandma?
Why not just call her nana or nanny? Same as grandma but not using grandma.
What's wrong w/ Grandma? How would that be confusing? If she is married to your dad and has been around since before her birth, I don't see the issue here - she is her step-grandma. If she can have a step-grandfather called Ganpa, why can't have have a step-grandmother called Grandma? There must be more info. to this story as why you don't want her to call her grandma...
I LOVE Bumpa and Mumpa.
I also 2nd the ask Shirley what she wants to be called. Does she have other grandkids? My mom had a huge preference for what she would get called, so that's what she's called.
my ex husb family has a mah-maw. which is pretty common in the south where he is from.
Also - grammy and grandma are 2 different names. 2 grammy's might get confusing (unless you're J LO - then you just get a shelf lol) but a grandma and a grammy would be ok, I think!
How bout Nana? My kids have 4 grandmas and there names are: Nana, grandma, grandmother, grams.
I think she totally deserves a "grandma" name/title. Maybe your daughter could make her own name for her?
My kids call my Step-Mom Grandma Chris, my Mom is not remarried and they call her Grammie, my husbands Mom is Nana.
It's funny how kids can just rename us all. My daughter has renamed my mom(Nana), step dad(Tata), brother(Teto) and sil(Pipi-Her name is Tiffany). She is now 5 and they all are still called by their new names. My daughter has 3 grandmas. My mom who is Nana, my mil who is just grandma and my grandma (her great grandma) in which she calls abuela. Just ask your baby who's that? and see how she responds. She may already have a nick name and you don't even know it. Best wishes and have fun finding a new name.
My kids call my step mom Nana. She has been my step mom since I was 13 and we are very close, but again, she is not "Grandma". She likes being called Nana too.
I would say Grandma Shirley.
My daughters call both of their grandma's 'Grandma (Last name)' to distinguish them from each other but just call them Grandma when talking to them.
My husband, who's been with me many years, has always been called Grandpa by the grandchildren. They call my ex's wife Grandma Nickie. As they get older, they figure out they're not blood-related but it doesn't matter to them.
What about Nana? This is a long-used nickname used for caregivers and nannies, etc. It's a term of affection without being grandma. Also, by kids call my dad Bumpa, too!
Grandma (not the same as what she calls your mom), Grammy, or MomMom Shirley.
My vote is for Bubbles, just because I heard someone use it and thought it would be a darling name for a grandmather type person.
I know it sounds weird, but my 2 yr old calls my mom "Maga" She didn't use to be able to say grandma and for some reason she kinda said it backward ..instead of the typical gama it came out "maga" ...lol ..So we all call my mom Maga now (even my 6 yr old, who use to call her "ma" as a baby) ...So my 2 yr old is totally capable of saying grandma now, but she still calls her Maga and thats how we refer to her as well, lol
What about "Nana"? It's a special name. Sure better than calling her by her first name. I think that is disrepectful.
Just ask her! My FIL has a "girlfriend" and they've been together for over 20 years. They maintain separate residences, but basically stay with one another every night, and she has been to all of our weddings and on numerous visits to see the grandchildren as well as always being a big part of our visits out there. One group of the grandkids started calling her Nana_____, and I think she's kind of gotten used to it. She was fine with them just calling her by her name, but she has warmed to having some sort of designation -and I think we all either asked her or told her we wanted them to call her something other than her first name at some point. I do find it interesting that your daughter calls your stepfather "Ganpa" but you don't want her calling your stepmother something akin to "grandma."
In your case, since the lady and your father ARE married -I wouldn't have a huge issue with some type of "grandma" type name. There are tons out there, but you could ask her if she has a favorite.
My daughter has Gramma (my mother), Nana (Daddy's mother) and Gramma Judi (My step-mom). She's 3 and doesn't get confused at all.
My kids have 3 grandma's... Grandma, Mama, and Momma Cindy. I think Momma Cindy had her name included in there only b/c my kids hear me call her Cindy..
My kids also have 3 grandpa's too. Pappy, Pappa Dean and Pappa Mikey
What about Bama or Grandma Shirley? We used Grandma ______ for the step grandmas and "adopted" grandmas in our lives. It made it less confusing for us kids. Grandma and Grandpa were the names for the biological ones on my mom's side and Oma and Opa (german) for my dad's side. It was nice to not be confused which grandma we were talking about.
My kids are using Grandma _____ also for their Great Grandparents since they call my husband's mom Grandma and my mom Mimi.
Best wishes!
most kids have 2 sets of grandparents. why would it confuse her to call your step mom grandma but not confuse her to call your stepdad grandpa? if its really a problem have her call your stepmom nonny or memaw. she will call her whatever you tell her to call her. so if you say "take grandma that book" she will call her grandma. but if you say "take shirley" that book then she will grow up making a big deal out of something that doesn't need to be.
My son calls my mom, mom-mom. His reasoning is becasue she is the mom of his mom. Why don't you ask Shirley what she would like to be called. I'm sure she'd be tickeled pink to be asked.
What's wrong with Grandma Shirley? My friend has various grandma's and that's how she addressed them. How lucky of her to have so many loving grandparents!
My daughter is six and calls my parents granny and papa, my hubbys mom is grandma and my hubbys dad and step mom are grandpa and Mamaw. We didn't force the issue for her to call Olivia anything cause we didn't know what she should call her either and she thought of Mamaw all on her own when she was 3.
I had a stepmom that I wasn't close too until my son was born!!! So you are double blessed. Anyhoo, since my mother was deceased my son calls my Aunt (father's sister) MawMaw and he called my Stepmom Grandma until one day when he was about 2 she jokingly complained that made her feel old. So I asked her what she wanted to be called. She laughed and said "Just call me Gorgeous!" So my son began calling her Grandma Gorgeous. It was wonderfully cute and the whole family picked up on it and started just calling her Gorgeous (imagine the looks we got when out shopping). She starting signing everything with just G.G. after that.
So ask your stepmom what moniker she would like to be called. She sounds like a wonderful lady.
Didn't read all of the answers, but I like mimi shirley.
What's wrong with grandma? Most children have at least two grand somethings........I called both my grandma's grandma. I only had one grandpa as the other had passed. I knew who everyone was.
Well I think your answer depends on what Shirley would prefer to be called. She may want to be simply referred to as Ms. Shirley or might even want to be called something as simple as mimi.
My kids refer to my husband's parents as Grandma and Grandpa. Whereas my parents are nana and paw-paw. My dad's mother is referred to maw-maw and my mother's mom is referred to as Grandma Davis because that is what all of us Grandkids always addressed them this way.
What about using a grandma name from a different language
Oma, Baba, Lola, Nana
What is your heritage or hers, use something from her culture. Even if she is an AMerican through and through, maybe her ancestors came from Italy or something.
In our family we have Grandma B (my grandma) and Grandma Bonnie (my mom).
My children call my father-in-law's wife by her name (Marge). She's younger than him and a little too hip to be "grandma" so that's what she's picked. They are "Papa and Marge" and it sounds fine to us! Have you asked her what she wants to be called?
