OK
so I just wanted to know what custody arrangeent works for you best, and does age matter? My daughter is 4
currently I have her
Mondays, Tues, Thursdays, fridays, and saturdays until 8pm
and on one of my days with her she sleeps at my parents so they can watch her the next morning while I'm at work (they live over an hour and 1/2 away from my work so thats the only option)...sometimes I sleep over too, and sometimes I just stay until she goes to sleep. Every once in a while the schedule changes and we'll switch days a little or take an extra one.
This is the only thing in divorce I HATE, I love that her dad is involved and sees her but I miss her tons when shes away
Something to consider once she's in school is that the mid-week exchanges may not work as well 1) for distance and 2) for consistency.
I used to work in Family Law and what you are stating is what is common for custodial parents to have. Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri and every other weekend. I've seen it where parents switch off every other week, and i've seen it where parents have Mon-Thurs and then every other Fri-Mon morning at school drop off. My husband and I have already discussed that if something were to happen between us, with his work schedule he would have the kids on his days off. That would essentially be every other week. I think that would be the best for us and our children.
I have 50/50 physical custody with my ex. We do the exchanges at school b/c we both live close to school and after-school care and he started maliciously being late when we used to have a Sunday afternoon switch.
This is what works FOR US:
If it's my ON week, I have my son Mon night through Wed morning, Friday night through Monday morning. ON meaning I have the weekend.
If it's my OFF week, I have my son Wednesday night through Friday morning. OFF meaning I don't have the weekend.
We switch off weeks using Monday as the start of the week instead of Sunday (so there's no mid-Sunday switch).
Yes, I miss my son BUT I use the time to 1) play sports 2) go out with friends 3) go out with the guy I'm dating 4) go grocery shopping 5) work late 6) clean the whole house at one time 7) do nothing and watch a chick flick.
my daughter's father only gets her every other weekend. he has the option of mid week visitation (5-8 that's what's set in the indiana guidelines), but he never takes it. in the more than a year that he's been seeing her, he's taken the midweek visit once (i gave him overnight cause it was a special time) and that is because his sister wanted to spend time with my daughter because she works on his weekends with her. he is for the first time exercising a week long visitation with her, over memorial day. i will miss her so bad, but it will be good for M. and my fiance, and my schoolwork! good luck figuring this out!
Hi, Jen:
Had you thought about going to mediation in Philly at
the Good Shepherd's Mediation Center to try
to arrange custody times that would be more convenient
for both of you.
J. a thought.
D.
Hi Jen,
I do social studies for parents going through custody disputes, and the court asks who should be the parent who decides where the children resides, I find changing homes from week to week to hard on the children, is there any way that the father would be agreable to having the children live primarily with you and to decide on vistations without needing a court ordered schedule. Best of luck to you.
