Curious 7 Year Old Daughter ???

Updated on January 25, 2012
T.L. asks from Flint, MI
5 answers

Hi, I cought my 7 yr old daughter " tickling" herself under the blanket a few weeeks ago. for months now she when watching tv she would be covered with a blanket. If i wiuld ask what she was doing with her hands she would say im itching my leg. Well she admitted to "tickling" herself the last time. UGhhh . I told her that is something you do in private ! and pretty much left it at that.

I also have a 2 year old son, they do not get along very well. The last week or so he has been talking about smelling sissy's butt... well last night i found my daughter with her underwear down, telling her brother to smell her butt and asking him if it smells good or nasty ! WOW !! i know its normal to be curious but this is VERY disturbing !!!! I dont know what to do or say to her about it ? I have always told her that her privates are PRIVATE but i guess thats not enough ! PLEASE HELP ME ! I know i have to address this but i dont know how !!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all your advice and input... I sat her down today after school and had a great comforting talk with her again about her private area's. I also gave her a chance to ask me any questions she may have about her's or her brothers privates. She didn't of course. I told her that her actions last night were inapropriate, and she agreed. I also told her that she will have alot of questions growing and if she is curious or confused to not be emmbarressed to talk to me about it because i was a little girl once too. She said that the reason she did it was because her brother asked to smell her butt, prolly because we do that to him when he has a poopy diaper... Looking at it now i laugh a little because i "freaked out" its just not something I though i would ever see them do! Thanks again !

More Answers

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

If it were me, I would sit her down and tell her one more time that she is NOT EVER to show anyone her privates, ask anyone to touch them, smell them, and that she is never to touch anyone else's. Say this in a very stern, serious voice. Then the next time you give your son a bath, or change his diaper remind him that his "pee-pee" is his, and that nobody else besides mommy, daddy or the doctor is to touch it.

Also, each time you see your daughter with her hands under the blanket and you're sure she's tickling herself remind her that she needs to go in her room or the bathroom when she's doing that. And remind her to wash her hands when she's finished.

This is probably just a phase, although it seems long.

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J.H.

answers from Birmingham on

I agree with SweetChaos completely. Reiterate that she must do her "tickling" in private. I would also ask her about having someone smell her bottom. Did someone teach her that or did she come up with it on her own? I would have to know that answer and get to the bottom of it. You have done great with not freaking out and shaming her about it!
Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

She needs to get some serious discipline for trying to get her brother to smell her butt - as in told that it is disgusting, it is unacceptable, and there will be consequences if it ever happens again. I think it's probably just kids being gross and into "potty humor" but she needs a reminder that this falls under the "privates being kept private" rule.

As for her "tickling" herself, yes, it needs to be done in private, in her room, if she feels the need. And her hands need to be washed after. No need to freak out about it. But I would also make sure she isn't actually itchy "down there" for some reason (yeast infection, etc.).

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Um, I don't see anything unusual in these actions, actually. Children explore their bodies and masterbate from babyhood on. I had siblings close in age and we "played doctor" at times just because we were curious about our own and each other's bodies. I agree that asking her to touch herself in private is a fine response, as long as it isn't presented as she's doing something "bad", just private. I really don't know what is "very disturbing" about what you saw them doing together. I think it is normal childhood curiousity. Nothing wrong with telling her to stop doing that, but really, it's no big deal. They are kids.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I chuckled when you talked about the "smell my butt" comment. My grandchildren are 8 and 11 and they still tell that "joke." It's a part of potty humor that is normal for children. They do outgrow it. In the meantime we ignore them. At this age they're doing it for attention.

This all sounds very normal and nothing to be concerned about. Children are curious. You can tell them you don't like the smell my butt comments and separate them each time it happens. Putting a stop to it is within your rights. Just know it's normal and not worth a whole lot of energy on your part.

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