Should I Be Concerned???? - Fleming Island,FL

all the other moms are correct, as a pediatric RN I can tell you that it is completely normal, don't worry

Dear J.,

Tell whomever that the statements made are disgusting. Young children play with their genitalia. I ran a nursery for many years and this is a common practice. It has nothing to do with sex. It is there, it is interesting, and that is all!
Don't put too much attention on it and be firm with anyone in your family putting attention on it. They (children) are not concerned with it and you should not be concerned either.

It is when we add stress to things that we make incomprehensible to children. Treat the whole thing with an attitude of boredom.

With my daughter, I will say things like "ladies don't do that around other people or in public", and I say it very bored. Never in anger or as if they did something wrong.

Sincerely,
D.

Pardon me for saying this, but it sounds to me like your family is a little undereducated about something that is completely normal and natural for a child your son's age. Curiousity about self and others is a developmental normality for a 3-year old. There is nothing wrong, strange, or perverted about it. I can't believe your own family would treat it like it was a perversion. My own sons are 2 and 4. They both have been curious about themselves and each other. I explain that while it's normal to be curious about other people's parts (they've also asked mommy and daddy when they've seen us undressed after showers, etc.), private parts are for ourselves (no need to explain the mommy-daddy connection at this point!). When they are curious about themselves, which happens very frequently, I continue to explain that it is absolutely okay to be curious and that it can sometimes feel good... they sometimes get erections from self-stimulation, which is also normal... but that the only time it is appropriate to act on the curiousity is in their own room. My 4-year old, when he occasionally forgets, will answer when I say, AJ, are you supposed to be doing that out here? He says, no, mommy, only in my bedroom. Then he either stops or hops up and heads to his room. Usually he gets interested in something else, like Legos or trains, before he gets to his room. No big deal, no chastizing, no making him feel dirty or even more curious because we say it's a bad thing. My 4-year old also has developmental delays, like you said your son has had, so explaining may need to be simple and elementary... then again, how else would you explain something like this to a 3-year old?!
Good luck and best wishes. I hope this helps you feel a little better about the whole thing.

Ohh hun
I think it's very normal he has probably just discovered he has something down there and like any little child he has to touch it! I wouldn't be too worried if it does keep happening maybe talk to your ped. but to me in my opinion its only natural for him to be doing this!

This is not normal at all! My son touches himself also or at least used too. At first it freaked me out but I noticed the more I would tell him not to do that the more attention I brought to the situation and he would continue. I have come to realize that they are exploring and that it is not a bad thing in private. As long as he is not touching his privates in public he will eventually grow out of it. As awkward as it may seem, they do have feelings down there, nonsexual, and he may also become erect. Don't freak, just try to turn his attention to something else like a book, toy or movie. Now the germs thing does come into play when you have another sibling that he may touch and play with. I had to deal with that also with his infant sister.

i'll tell you what my pedi told me when my son started this (and still does at 9) don't worry about it. there is nothing sexual to it. he is discovering his body - we all do it, it's perfectly normal. what you can try is to teach him to be careful because he can hurt himself. i still have to remind my son to be careful and i have to remind him to stop when we are out places. David has special needs so the rules change for him even though he is 9. boys do it without even really thinking about it. ignore your family and listen to your pediatrician.

it is completely normal.about the only thing you can do is to make sure and tell him it is not polite to do it in public places.in the privacy of his room or the bathroom is ok.just make sure he isn't spending too much time doing it.if he is constantly going to his room or bathroom to do it it may lead to a problem.just make sure not to overreact about it to him.don't make him feel like he is disgusting or anything for doing it.it is normal and if you make him feel like it is wrong it could cause emotional problems in the future.just let him know the proper place for doing it and make sure he washes his hands afterwards!lol..hope this helps.

You shouldnt be concerned- I am certain that all children touch their privates once they realize its there. I am pretty sure this is normal behavior (my son still does, on occasion and he is 4) I just tell him to leave it alone, thats not nice, etc. However I wouldnt make a big deal about it because that will only encourage such behavior. If youre really concered, ask the pediatrician, but I think they'll tell you its normal.

Please don't put a sexual association with this! Even if he saw you kissing someone everyday, that isn't what leads to this. He is just able to see and touch now that he doesn't have a diaper on and he is curious. I know deciding what to say is very hard, but don't make him scared of it either. Don't make it dirty and germy, just try to distract him with something and eventually, the fasination will go away.

J.,
I am a pre-school teacher and see this all the time. They start at about a year and a half and up. Little boys especially become curious when potty training because they have to. When wearing a diaper the diaper is snug against them, when wearing underwear there is more rubbing and movement and sensation. When he has to pee it goes up and he is trying to figure all this out. This is perfectly normal behavior. I would try not to make a big deal out of it. Half the time they don't even realize they are playing with it. Hope this helps.
P.

Do not listen to your mom and sister, this is totally normal behavior for a 3 year old boy. He is curious just like you said. Do not worry he will not be a pervert, do not take what other people say to heart. He will be curious regardless of what he sees or doesn't see as it is completely normal. Just don't make him afraid to touch it, talking about germs etc. Don't make him feel dirty about it, as you don't want him to think he is a dirty person etc. I hope this helps. I'm going thru the same thing with my 3 year old. Good Luck!! :)

Your worst mistake is lisening to your mother and sister. It is totally normal for young children- they are curious. I was reading a parenting magazine when my daughter was first born and someone asked the psychologist what to do because her 3 yr old daughter would go into her bedroom and masterbait. The pshycologist said it is totally normal behavior and that every child will do it as long as it doesn't encompass the majority of her day and she knows that it is a private situation. I was so shocked thinking of my daughter eventually doing that grossed me out but it made me realize that children do experienment with their bodies and that it is normal. Of course my daugther has never done that (thank god) but she does touch herself in the bath tub and I just ignore it knowing that she is just learning about her body. Your son is totally normal. I would just make sure he is aware that you don’t do that in a public place and he will grow out of it.

Hi there J. my name is S. and my son is also three and he started to play with his peepee when he stated to wear underware as well i am not claming to know the best way. How ever i have read many diffrent things and some experts say let him do it he is just courios my nephews all did the same thing and they grew out of it. I tell my son that it is not propper to do that in the livivng room he should go to his bed room and he will usally stop right then and we go about our day remeber the are boys and boys will do strange things!! hope I help u sincerly S.

I am not a pro but if you know he's safe then I wouldn't be concerned. I have raised a daughter but my son is only 3 also. It could be that his private part is sensitive and the undies rub it when he walks and all so he is noticing or feeling a sensation where as the diaper is tighter and thicker and probably didn't do that. I'm sure you will get some more responses but if not you could always talk to his dr. I know it is natural for a little one, girls and boys, to explore their bodies...even when they are young. I don't know if I'd tell him it's dirty, you don't want him to grow up thinking the thing attached to him is dirty/germy and remember that when he gets older and have problems. Maybe you should explain that he's not supposed to play with it as it's a private part of his body...and also that no one else needs to see it or go near it (except of course if you need to wash him or help him wipe). Good luck and I'm sure everything will be fine.
D.

That's 100% normal. If your son is not circ then it's even encouraged by the medical field. The worst thing you can do is make him feel guilty. Three is old enough to teach him that's something he should do in private, but watching a movie by himself at home sounds like the right time. You have nothing to worry about.

I have twin boys who will be three on the 27th and for one of them, he has done tis since he was around 1 years old. When he was little he would go to sleep with his hand in his diaper. The other, one on the other hand, has rarely if not ever done this. It is just a part of nature, they want to know what it is.

Hi J. -

I know this response comes a little late, but I agree with most everyone on this topic: you shouldn't be concerned. My son did the same thing at that age and my daughter is discovering her privates now at age two. Without being crude, I don't know any man who DOESN'T enjoy touching their privates, so we can't count them all as perverts now, can we? ;) The important thing is to not make your son feel guilty or ashamed, and don't punish him for doing so either. Certainly refrain from telling him what I call "stupidsticions" like you'll grow hair on your palms or you'll go blind. I simply told my son that his privates were his alone to see and touch when he was cleaning himself in the shower. I don't honestly know if my son manages to sneak in a few touches here and there, but I know as he gets older (say his teen years), I won't be able to control that nor will I even want to go there.

Blessings to you and yours.

Girl!!... LMAO it's totally normal!my boys do it too. they are just exploring themselves. all boys do it. my boys constantly walk around holding it and itell them to just leave it alone it will grow when they get big. lol. its a boy thing and maybe if your concerns are that big ask a man figure you trust. goo d luck.