Crying 1 Yr Old Baby

I recently had a baby 1 month ago and I have a 2 year old who seemed to be jealous at times when I hold or feed the baby. What I do is I let him help me take care of him. He gets me the diaper when I change the little one, I let him wash the baby during baths, and we play with the baby together. He likes to tickle his feet. I would let her help you take care of the little one and it should help. Encourage her to play nice with the baby. It sure works for me and now my 2 year old doesn't have a temper anymore. Hope this helps.

I feel your pain; I have a son who turned one the beginning of this month and my daughter will be three in June. I'm fortunate that my daughter is very understanding and realizes that sometimes her brother needs me to do things for him. From day one, I've tried to include them in each other's activites. Yes, I realize a newborn isn't going to do much, but what I mean is that when he was awake I always kept him near so that she would understand he was always going to be a part of things. And I've always let her help me with things that needed to be done, right done to feeding him when he started solids.

Even with the best planning and best intentions, things can still be a mess. I don't think I've ever let one of them cry while I'm interacting with the other (diaper changes, toilet time, getting dressed; during those types of things perhaps). I do tell my son that mommy is trying to read a story or his sister is trying to go to sleep (when I'm trying to get them both to take a nap), when he does have a fit trying to get my attention. This is more for my daughter's benefit to make her realize that I still think her feeling and what we do together are still important.

When I'm doing other things, getting dressed, drying my hair, cooking meals, etc. and he throws a fit b/c he wants to be held, I do let him cry and talk to him explaining what is happening and why I can't pick him up. Yes, it's difficult, but I need him to start understanding that he can't throw a fit everytime he wants something (which my daughter never did).

When my son is napping and my daughter is awake, I try to give her as much one on one time as I can. I try to give her extra time at the end of the day also b/c my son goes to sleep first. My daughter sometimes reverts to baby like behavior, which can be annoying, but I remind her that her brother acts that way b/c he has no other means to communicate, but she has words that she can use. This sometimes works.

Lengthy, I know and not full of too many suggestions, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. For my son this started within the last month or so and they say separation anxiety peaks from 12 -18 months, so my fingers are crossed, although it may be a long 6 months.

Hey N.!
That sounds really rough, and while I only have one toddler at the moment, I had an idea...
I can understand what everyone is saying about putting them down for different nap times... but then you lose any alone time that you have to relax or get a few things done around the house. I can't imagine my day without that precious "kid free" time- even though I love spending time with my son of course!
How does your son do when you leave him with a sitter for a couple of hours? Maybe once a week you could make a "Mommy and Daughter Date" either in the mornings if you have a sitter or in the evenings when your husband gets home. This could be your very special time during the week with your daughter that she looks forward to. You could go get some lunch and do girl things or have her pick a fun activity. My mom used to do this with my sister and I seperately when we were growing up and it is some of the most treasured memories that I have from my childhood. Also, it would encourage your son to be more independent away from you! Just a thought! Good luck!
L.

My sister had this same problem whith her kids. She gave them different nap times so that while one was sleeping the other had mommy and me time. I hope this helps. Good luck!