Controlling 1 Year Olds Behavior

I read thst stopping what you're doing, and going back to the car for a few minutes works. Sort of like a time out, I guess. After you do this a few times, they get the hint that you mean business. It'll be a hassle, but so is dealing with a temper tantrum in pubic. Some parents said that doing this only one time worked! By the time I heard about doing it, my daughter had just outgrown it... so hang in there.

Try to whisper to him. With both my boys it makes them quiet down so they can try to hear what I'm saying. He just has to learn the appropriate places for being loud and being quiet.

Be consistent at home making sure he knows that screaming is not nice at home and in public. I know it's hard to talk to a one year old, but that worked for me. A one year old screaming usually because he wants/needs something but he can't talk yet, so try to see a clue whether he is tired or hungry, or talk to him. maybe he just need attention that moment. When I go shopping, I give my kids snacks and drink in the stroller, and toys too, that works for me :)

If it were me, I wouldn't swat or do anything harsh. He is a baby and has a lot to learn. Frustrated because he can't explain what's wrong. I'd try not to shop etc. when he's tired or let him get past his tolerance level. You may need to do errands without him sometimes. I used to grocery shop late at night when my most difficult child was asleep at home with Dad. If you have to just leave and go home with him, do it. This probably won't last a long time. Some kids have nervous systems that can't take a lot of being in public places. I like the ideas about distracting him with snacks, toys (you may want to attach these - mine would throw anything when she was having a "fit"), small snacks (a tasty cracker or Gerber puff?). Try to meet his need as soon as you see he's working up to this. If you wait for the screaming, you'll just have to endure it or leave with him. By the way, my screamer is a doctor now! Still doesn't like to shop. Hang in there. This is temporary.

Hello D., My oldest was very much like your child. The best advice I can give to you is to not reinforce the bad behavior. NEVER give him what he wants while he is screaming. Not even attention from you. As hard as it is, ignore him. Don't talk or look at him. Take any toys away from him. If possable walk away. As soon as he stops screaming give him his toys back, and give him lots of attention. He will learn very fast that the screaming does not work for him and will find another way to get your attention. Good luck.

I can sympathize.... my son has started this too. I just calmly say to him it sounds like you're angry and move him away. He does it when he doesn't get his way of course.. I'm learning to just ignore the stares. I figure most people are just glad it's not them right?

I do think the calmer I stay, the quicker he stops screaming. We give our son choices too.. he's starting to understand them more, but it's more about getting him used to the options.. like do you want to sit down in the chair or sit on the floor.. most of the time he doesn't sit so I just calmly pick him up and put him on the floor. Sometimes I'll say.. sounds like you wanted to sit on the floor.

Better to scream and make a scene as a 1 year old when they're still so darn cute and learn now .. then as a teenager!

Threaten him with naptime. Go out for no particular reason a couple times and when he starts go straight home and put him to bed. After he gets the idea, the threat will work just as well when you have to be somewhere and can't go home.

D.,

My husband and I also swatted our son. He is five now and has wonderful manners most of the time. He tried screaming in the store a couple of times, but I would take him over to a secluded corner and give him one swat though his diaper. We only needed to do this a few times and he got the message. He has never hit another child so I don't believe in the message that swatting can make a child confused. I think that most parents lay out set rules and children know when they are breaking them.

Example: at age one we told our son not to touch the stove/oven. He would walk over to it specifically and touch it with a smile on his face. The first few times we told him no, it's not safe. The third time he got a swat through his diaper. Every time after that he received a swat first time because he knew that the stove was dangerous and he just wanted to get our attention and see what we would do. It took very little time for him to lose interest in the stove.

I think that there are times when parents need to enforce the social rules. In addition to swatting, we also used timeouts and put favorite toys into the treasure box to be re-earned. But in the beginning our son only responded to the swat.

Again the important step is to never do this in anger. A few times our son pushed my buttons so badly I sent him to his room so I could cool down. When he was older I explained to him why I was angry, but if my husband was around then he would give our son his punishment while I cooled down.

I hope this helps! Good luck.

The thing that worked for my son was when we are shopping and he starts screaming (this was when he was about one years old) I would talk to him about something totally different. I would never concentrate on the screaming (after all he is only one and they do that) I would just say did you have fun playing whatever he might have done earlier that day or say wow look at that and point at something cool like a funny hat or maybe even a silly looking maniquin. Don't concentrate on the screaming but don't ignore him neither. This trick I thought was good because you really aren't ignoring him you are ignoring the screaming. Just pretend that he isn't screaming at all and it really is almost like you are ignoring him and he gets fed up that the screaming isn't getting any attention. It doesn't work all the time but my son who is know 4 never had any temper tantrums in his terrible two years or terrible threes or the terrible fours. The trick is to always divert there attention when they are at such a young age. He still is a baby and babies will scream, they can't talk so how else are they going to tell you, "hey i'm bored mom do something fun please so I don't have to scream anymore".

Hmmm...It's hard to say without knowing why he is screaming. Is it because he is not getting his way? My one year old is starting to have (short - thanks goodness) tantrums any time I take something from her. However, she is easily distracted if I offer one of her toys as replacement. I am reading this great book, Becoming Toddlerwise (Gary Ezzo). It talks about how many parents will give their children unlimited freedom at home, like playing with the remotes, getting into the bathrooms, etc. and having no boundaries, but then parents expect them to behave and have boundaries when out in public. This can be very confusing for children this age. They do not yet have the maturity or self control to understand why they can have free reign at home but then not other places. Kids need limitations until they learn to handle more freedom.

Not sure if this helps, but I really recommend the whole Babywise/Toddlerwise series. If you have not read them, start with Babywise II.

Not sure if this helps, but

Why is he screaming does he see something he wants or is it cause he is upset.
Guid lines for going out with children.
1 make sure they are feed
2 make sure they are not tired
3 don't give in to tantrums, no matter what!!!!