I may regret posting this here, but I'm concerned and would like to know if anyone has experience with this and their children. My biological dad is bipolar, I am too. I am type 2 and don't take medicine (I don't have the "luxury" to try and try and try different meds and doses that may make me crazy until I find the right thing); most of the time I am fine (we watch how much sleep we get, eat well, other things to manage, and my husband knows what it is, my quirks and can recognize something before it happens and we can head it off before it gets bad---if I need a break, or help getting to sleep, or whatever). My husband is bipolar as well and takes his medicines. With diligence and the medication, he is fine.
But my son...he is ONLY 4! A lot of things, I put off to being preschool behavior and regular frustration; he's actually extremely well behaved. But he has said a few things that have me a little worried. Last week we had a few rough days, and he told my husband that his brain was "doing this" (and he put his hands at the middle of his scalp and moved left hand to left, right hand to right, like splitting). Jer had a talk with him. The next day, he was acting silly at the table and I said that I had noticed he was in a bad mood, what was going on....he said "My brain is just screwed up". I asked him where he heard that word before, but he didn't remember or tell me. I said "Well, what does screwed up mean?" And he just kinda stammered around. I said "To me, if I were to say something is screwed up, that would mean it's broken or messed up..." and he nodded. I held him and told him he was NOT broken and if he was feeling funny, we could talk about it. I asked him why he felt messed up and he was scared to tell me. I told him that if we were talking serious to each other, he could always tell me ANYTHING and would NOT get in trouble, the only time he would make me mad with words were if it was a fight, but NEVER for a serious talk. He opened up, it was constructive. Now tonight he told his dad he didn't think he could go to bed because his brain won't stop. We told him to close his eyes and do his karate forms in his head (a slow fluid kata) over and over, and that way he could learn something good, but also bring his mind to sleep. It worked. But I have a huge lump in my throat. What do I do to help my wee boy? Drugs at this age are out of the question. Is there help?
First, re: labeling--I would never utter those words out loud. He's never heard those words. Just wanted to ask a question as to what could I do to help, or where to get help, if this is early signs of something that our family has? Not saying he has anything, but I have worried (perhaps prematurely) at some of the things he's done and said. This was just what happened last week. I actually make an effort not to ask "leading" questions. Keep in mind that I'm attempting to keep this post brief and also keeping what is personal to my son, well, personal! When I say he was acting silly and I asked about his bad mood, BELIEVE that it was a BAD mood with no instigation from anyone. I used the word silly because....I dunno. Don't want to say he was being "bad" and didn't want to go too much into it. We've wanted to keep communication open where he knows he can trust us to talk about anything because we were both pretty tortured people in our youth, knowing something was off or wrong but we couldn't talk about it to our parents. We have learned some tools and methods to dealing with some things that work for us really well, and while I'll keep those in mind to assist with some of the issues that come up, and talk to my therapist about it, you may be right in me being sensitive to every tear or anger spell and worrying about nothing. Thanks for your thoughts.
I also think you may be sensitive to this issue (rightfully so) and you've received some good advice about that. I wanted to point out something you did that was GREAT! All of us have times when we can't settle down and sleep. You gave your son a useful positive tool to help him wind down. It also has the added bonus of mentalling practicing something he is learning.
I think Bug makes some very good points. It is easiest to see what we are looking for. Don't look too hard for bipolar behavior in your 4 year-old.
My ex is bipolar Type B (is that what you call type 2?) which means he doesn't have the manic phase, but instead deals with periods of anger and irritability. He is on meds and once his diagnosis switched from depression to bipolar, leading to a change in meds, he has been sooo much better. He has also had significant counseling.
I am helping our 9 year-old daughter to understand him and his behaviors, and to deal with them. I am not specifically looking for symptoms of depression or bipolar disorder in her, though depression runs on my side of the family, also. Instead, I do what I can to model positive behaviors and approaches to life.
Doesn't bipolar only hit in late teens? I would avoid the drugs too.
I doubt he has it, though your fears could easily convince you otherwise.
It is hard, but please talk to a professional about this so you have the support you need. life if hard enough.
My sister is very much bipolar. After decades of struggle, she is finally on medications. She is doing better, thank goodness. I tell you that, because I have witnessed someone being bipolar my entire life.
Honestly, I think you and your husband's struggles are clouding your views. You are very sensitive to his mental health, which is a good thing. He has some of it coming from both sides of his DNA. However, I think it could be making you too sensitive. You are asking him leading questions. Not only that, the answers to your questions, can mean many things. To a 4 year old, "screwed up" could just mean busy, or confused. In his mind, it could even just mean silly. He doesn't necessarily have the communication skills, to tell you that. What your son is doing actually sounds fairly typical for a 4 year old. In addition, how many people with bipolar disorder have you met, that are very well behaved for the majority of the time. Not many. My parent's told me I always told them "my brain wouldn't stop," 'my brain is jumbled," or "my brain was funky." They laugh about it, becuase it was so weird. I am just about the most normal person you could ever meet. I've never ever had mental health issues. Please be careful not to label your son. My niece is 12 , and both of her parents have bipolar disorder. My sister's is much worse then her father, but he is still pretty bad. My parents are constantly looking for "symptoms," because of her parents. It is very frustrating for her, and really affects her confidence in herself. She is very clearly not bipolar, but it doesn't prevent them from always being worried. I think it's unfair to do this to a child.
Hi A.,
OK, I haven't read most of the responses here yet, but I have some experience with pediatric bipolar disorder, as well as ADHD in children, and I wanted to post a response to you right away. I have also been a preschool teacher and liscenced daycare provider for more than half of my life, so I have cared for MANY young children with all types of personalities.
I am not convinced that your child has ANYTHING quite yet. I am sure that you and your child's father are most surely worried about the possibility of the genetic link to pass the bipolar "gene" to your son, so you are terrified about seeing any signs in him. (maybe??) That being said, I have a bipolar child. She was first diagnosed at age 4, and I refused to medicate her until just last year, at age 7. For a child it is most common to go through cycles of behavior that can run from days at a time, to months at a time. This is basically meaning that during these cycles their behavior would be either very Manic (up and happy) or very low or aggresive. (or just depressed or "bad" unruley) Now, during these cycles, the child can have moments when they are ok, and not behaving in an inappropriate manner, however, overall, the time frame is really a rough patch with several behavior issues and it seems lilke the calls from school or issues at home are never ending. Bad moods, getting into trouble, etc. My daughter was in a 3 month pattern for the most part. Now that she is medicated, she has stopped cycling all together. Prior to her being medicated, she was unable to make friends, was extremely bossy and controlling, and had issues sleeping. (In case you are wondering, this does run in her family, and she is not my biological child. I had to find out in a round about way, after the fact. It made the diagnoses MUCH harder, as well as much harder to accept) I fought the diagnoses for a long time because of her age, and now looking back wish I had not. I was so worried about the medication and the stigma. Her life is so much better now. However, she REALLY is bipolar. Her brother is ADHD, and also has issues sleeping. He is not medicated, but takes melatonin (which you can purchase in any vitamin section of the grocery store) to help him sleep. Ask the pediatrician about the propoer dose for your child if you want to try it. With ADHD the brain races and feels like it will not "shut down". Also, your child is 4 years old? MOst 4 year old little boys are very active and need a lot of excersize. Is he getting enough time to run and play? If he is very smart, which he sounds like he is, are you giving him enough to challenge his brain during the day? I would ask his teachers what they think. Do they see any issues with him? Have you been getting notes home from the school on a regular basis? I would not worry about something so serious because of a few rough days. All children have a few rough days. Did something change at his school? A new teacher or student? MOst kids will take the blame for any situation in their lives if you let them, and will think there is something "wrong with them" if they cannot do whatever is supposed to be done at school or at home. He may be feeling like his brain is "broken or screwed up" because he is having difficulty getting along with another child and can't figure out how to get them to play with him. You never know. Please don't stop watching him for signs since you do have the family history, but PLEASE don't label him too soon because this could very easily be a NORMAL childhood issue with regular solutions. I wish you the best, and God bless you and your husband! You are both on a long journey and I admire your courage and strength! Keep loving each other and that little boy! I am sure he will be just fine with loving parents as yourselves! :)
Sending lots of hugs. When you're looking for certain trends, it's much easier to see them even in "normal" behavior...for a variety of different issues. I'm not saying that's what is going on here, but it's understandable that you're ultra-in tune to this, and rightfully so.
I'm not a "salesman" of any sort, so I want to say that off the bat. I've worked in medicine and have an interest in alternative treatments, especially for kids. One thing you might want to look into, for yourself AND your kiddo is Omega-3 fish oil. Carlsons makes a kids version (my daughter loves it) that is chewable and tastes like orange. I like the Super Fisol brand for me. If you look it up, they're actually finding evidence ("they" meaning the medical community, who are VERY resistant to alternative treatments) that it can help a number of things, such as cardiovascular disease, memory, arthritis, but some of the most exciting results have come from the changes they've seen in depression and bipolar disorder.
Can't hurt to give it a try! PM me if you wish. Good luck to you all.
It sounds like you guys are giving him leading questions. I get why you are nervous, but I wonder if maybe you are projecting too much into it? It's good to see you are concerned given his medical family background.
For one, he was acting silly, but you told him his actions meant he was in a bad mood... that's another leading way of branding a child's behavior. It can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy for a child to automatically think they are in a bad mood, when in actuality they weren't. It messes with a child's self actualization.
When he said his brain was screwed up, he should have been able to tell you what that meant... even if it took him all night to figure it out. Ask how he feels... don't put ideas in his head b/c children are impressionable and will say yes to things like that without knowing exactly what it means.
It doesn't sounds like bi-polar at all though, is he having swings up and down, erratic behavior, is he having major ouburts or touching himself and exploring sexually, dos he complain of aches/pains/lonliness/problems sleeping?... more on childhood bipolar here:
http://www.bipolarsymptoms.org/Types/children-disorder.html
It doesn't sound like it, sounds more like he has normal behavior. But if you continue to label him, you could be grooming him to be confused.
He's too young to diagnose, but it would be great to take him to see an occupational therapist regardless to maybe help him learn to focus. I'm guessing you should do everything in your power to get on meds or at least therapy yourself.
There are a lot of great ways to focus on certain things and help your child become more expressive and positive. Dr. Sears has some excellent advice here:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
I totally understand why this is worrying you, but don't jump to conclusions so soon. He may just be having sensory issues that are making it hard for him to focus. Look at the symptom checklist on this website....(it is common to have no symptoms in some categories, a few in others, and might have a lot in one or 2 categories) ...maybe an occupational therapist is all he needs.
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...
Either way, talk to your pediatrician about your concerns (ideally w/o him there). If you don't feel like the pedi takes it seriously enough, get a new one.
Very best wishes :)
Any time you think there is an issue like this you need to talk to the doctor, see a mental health professional that works with kids, talk to the school district about getting an evaluation as well. You need to have as many evaluations as possible to get to the root of the issue or non issue.
