Conception After Miscarriage

You are not too old. I had my first child when I was 33 and my second when I was 36. So no you are not too old.

H.,
I am 43 years old and people are always shocked when they find out my oldest is 25 and I am a grandmother. I still have a 9 year old and when I am with my grandson people often think he's mine. I don't smoke and take good care of myself so I don't look very old.

However, my stepmother is only 7 years older than me and she may as well be ANCIENT. I've seen so many examples of people that could be most any age between 30 and 60. You see it too if you think about all the famous people in their 60's that still get away with playing young marrieds having babies. Age is often a state of the mind and the body responds to kind treatment.

I was almost 34 when I had my last and the pregnancy itself was VERY hard on me. But it was my 4th pregnancy and I've been through the mill and back physically. I just don't look like it. I would do it now at 43 if my husband would agree.

Suzi

H.,first of all let me tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your baby, please allow yourself and your husband to mourn the loss of this baby.
I do not think you are too old to have another child, if that is what you and your husband want to do. Look at your financial situation, your career plans, and basically whether or not you and your husband want to have another child. I had my last child at 36...and she has been a blessing to us, as all of our children have been.
Good luck!!
R. Ann

H.- 34 isn't too old- I have 9 kids from 24 down to 3- I had him when I was 42- age is a state of mind, and if you are healthy- there is no reason not to proceed. BTW- my husband and I lost our first to m/c and we then had 4 kids, then lost another then had another 3. And no, people don't think I am their grandmother- although my husband is almost completely gray, and 53 so he sometimes gets asked that when he is out with the littlest one. Best of luck to you. S.

H., I'm in a similar position to you. I have two great kids and got pregnant with our third last summer, while i was 33. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. After a couple months of healing, my husband and I decided to give it another try. I've since turned 34 and recently found out I'm pregnant again. I'm glad we're having another baby... I really didn't want a miscarriage to be my last experience of being pregnant.
So, in answer to your question, I don't feel 34 is too old. In fact, most health care providers don't put you in the "high risk" category until you're 35. Another statistic for you: 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage, so there's no reason your next pregnancy won't be healthy.
I hope this helps let you know you're not alone and that plenty of people have perfectly healthy kids well into their late 30s and even 40s. Good luck with your decision!

For what it's worth I didn't have my first till I was 30. I am now 35 and have 4! I said 33 was my cutoff too but sometimes the universe has other plans for us. :) You're not too old. My sister will be 39 and having her 2nd in March. You may have to take some extra precautions as you get older but as long as your doc says you're healthy - you are! I truly believe that mentally we are better off after 30 to have kids, while physically younger can be better. Thus, a good idea to be in shape and physically active if having kids after your early 30's... Best of luck!!

I'm very sorry about your loss. My "plans" to finish childbearing before 35 were derailed as well, and that's just the way things go sometimes. Your mom was in a generation of women who had children when they were (in my opinion) usually still children themselves. I am very happy to have had my surviving babies when I was 35 and 36, and I am NOT unusual in this situation. More women are waiting. After a few months of recovery, you should talk about this with your husband and make the decision about whether you have love in your hearts for one more (and just can't give up yet). You won't be the only graying non-grandma at the playground, I promise!

H. - you are NOT too old to have a baby. Because we attended law school, my friends and I are getting a "late start" on the baby making thing, and we are seeing many first borns at 33, 34, and up. A few of my friends have suffered from miscarriage, but the next time around produces a healthy baby. Don't give up and miss this baby-making window!

- Best wishes to you and yours

H. By all means if you and your husband want another baby go for it. You are young enough and I feel that being a mom now is better that it ever was at 22. I would recomend that you wait 3 months at least before trying, to give your body time to heal evan though you feel good. I think most ob/gyns would tell you that. My husband is actually old enough to be my dad so old enough to be our childrens grandfather at this point the 10yo has asked about the age once, but has been satisfied with our answer that age doesnt matter as long as were happy and we dont let it matter. Good Luck!

Hey there H.,

I am terribly sorry for your miscarriage. I can understand your loss. I suffered a miscarriage this past June the very day I found out I was expecting. My husband and I have 2 children, 7 and 3. I remember thinking the same thing... I want to be finished having children by the time I'm 33 as if that was some magic number. Well, I'm 34 and just found out this month that I am expecting again, yeah! So, it took us 6 months after the miscarriage to concieve again. I can tell you I have prayed my head off and have drawn closer to the Lord during this time. I realize it's not according to my time, but His. I was starting to get a little scared thinking, wow, I'll be 35 when this one is born. I feel no different now then 33. Our kiddos will be so thrilled when we finally tell them (we're waiting as long as we can in case another miscarriage should happen). They'll just be a year older :) I have just learned to leave it up to the Lord. If it is His will, it will be carried out. Read Proverbs 3:5,6. It is my life verse and I hope you will find comfort in it. God bless!

My Mother had 5 kids and then a miscarriage at age 33 and then just never got pregnant again. I have 8 grown kids and they are 16 years age range and the last born when I was 38. It was harder on me with the delivery and recovery but otherwise no different and nobody seemed to think I was the grandma. I even had people think my grandson was mine when he was a baby. So I think they keep you younger and if you are not physically failing there should be no problem with age. Just do what you and your husband want and don't worry about age or what anyone else thinks.

Oh my gosh, no, you are NOT too old!!!! Most of my friends have had at least one of their kids after age 35, if not both. A friend of mine just got pregnant on the first try at age 37.5, for the first time, and is 13 weeks now. No issues to speak of. I feel like most people around me are a little "older" when they get pregnant and they seem to get pregnant easily and have great pregnancies! It could just be the way the world is today. I think it may be more what you said about feeling sensitive that your mother looked and was older as a mom when you were a little kid growing up. My husband and I are contemplating a third now and I turned 35 in the fall, so I've been doing a lot of research on it. There is no reason to worry unless you are not in good health or much older than you are right now. Go for it if you want it! Good luck!!!

My sympathies for the loss of your baby. Babies are born to women of all ages. I was 37 and 39 when I had my children. The first took over a year to conceive. The second took 3 months. Both pregnancies were perfectly healthy. I have a friend who was 43 when she had her daughter. I had another friend who tried every imaginable thing to get pregnant after she married fairly soon after high school. Her and her husband gave up on having children - only to get pregnant unexpectantly at 35 and had another two years later. I know a lot of women who are having first babies or later additions after 35.

Perhaps people are polite but I have never been asked if I am my children's grandmother. I think other responders are correct. More people are waiting later in life to have children. This is really an individual and family decision.

Hello, H.:
So sorry for your loss.
I was 35 when I had our first baby and 37 when I had our second, and wouldn't have changed it. You are definitely not too old. Take care and best wishes.

You are not too old to have another baby!!! Some women don't start having babies until late 30's. If you want another child then go for it , your other 2 are at good ages so can help you with fetching diapers/wipes etc.

nope, you're not too old! I was 34 when I had my youngest son. He's 13 now, & I'm finding that the school parents are split into two groups (small town, even smaller class sizes - 125 in each grade level).......the young parents & the older parents.

You will never, ever be a minority.....especially since you already have two children to get thru those school years!

& here's an insane small-world trivia fact from my life: when my oldest child went thru school, he was a casual friend with the brother ......of my younger son's best friend! Our two families each have 2 sons, both 9 years apart...our older sons "knew" each other, did one club together, & that was the extent of our connection. On the otherhand, our younger sons became best friends early in school & hang together regularly! Small world!