Come On... I Know We're Not Perfect...

Right now my daughter (3 1/2) is sitting naked, six inches from the TV eating an apple. Probably not snobby mom approved. However, the apple is organic, so.....

I'm not perfect but my husband and son think I am.
Who am I to tell them they are wrong?
I don't need to be perfect for anyone but them.
Their opinions matter to me.
Other peoples, not so much.

I'm pretty strict about a lot of things, but I have two boys and live on a farm - my boys pee outside more often than they pee in the bathroom.

I'm too tired to try to impress other moms. :)

I agree with Ally's assessment: It's great that you're carefree and have fun with your kids, but that "doesn't mean that those who aren't so carefree are mean or wrong or snobby" as she put it.

I knew a mom who constantly squirted hand sanitizer on her kids' hands in public; it turned out her kids both had an immune disorder, so yeah, it was important and not some way of saying "all other moms are dirty." I know a mom who gives her daughter massages because the kid has real sensory issues that are calmed by it. She's not trying to imply that she's some perfect masseuse mom by doing it; she's doing what works for her individual child. Yeah, I buy the organic milk because there are health issues in our family that make it better that I eliminate chemicals as much as possible; that doesn't mean I want you to buy it too. The point is: There always may be things going on that you're not aware of, behind the scenes of other people's choices. You make yours; let them make theirs and let it go instead of feeling they're judging you when they make choices. Unless they're actively preaching their choices at you as the only option for your own life, it doesn't matter, unless you care what they think. And you don't. So let them go.

hhmmm...seems like you're the one trying to create unnecessary competition. Didn't hear in anything you just wrote about another mom attacking you for how you are raising your kids. Did someone criticize you in person today?

So what if you are a carefree mom? That doesn't mean those who aren't so carefree are mean or wrong and snobby. From what you wrote, it just means you expose your kids to more germs than most would allow, and your 5 yr old doesn't know how to read. Big deal.

ahaha! Well, I guess I'm one of those 'snobby' moms that you wax on about ... if drinking organic milk, not jumping on the furniture, and the fact that my kid could read at 5 etc. etc. etc. is considered snobby. Here's something for ya ... my cousins came from a lax household and did at they pleased. Poor things have some serious issues as adults. Not bagging on you, I don't even know you. But try not to slam others ... there are methods to all of our madness, eh?

Last Sunday, my kids wanted to go to the park and play. Dad and I wanted to just chill and listen to music and drink a beer on a lazy SUnday afternoon. So we combined the two. We stopped at the convenience store for a couple of tall boys and took the kids to the park. We parked on the curb where we could see them the whole time. They were 10 feet away from us literally. Turned the music on and sat in the car drinking our beer and chillin out while the kids played at the park. I bet some moms heads are spinning right now reading this. I don't feel a bit bad about it. No way one beer would impare my husbands driving. My kids understand alcohol in moderation. They got what they wanted. We got mommy and daddy time. Win Win, but you won't find that in the good mommy parenting guide~

N., I have to say that when my kids were little, I was working and burning the candle at both ends, so to speak. I was very organized (had to be), traveling an hour both ways to get to daycare and then work, working a fulltime professional job, then coming home and working a fulltime mommy job til I laid down to sleep. There was no Mamapedia, I didn't read articles about Mommy snobbery, I was lucky to read mommy articles in parenting magazines while waiting in the ped's office, and the daycare ladies were the other "mommies" who taught me how to take care of my children. (And my own mom too!) I used to tease that we raised my kids by "consensus".

I didn't know about arguments about cloth diapers, breast vs bottle, circumcision or not, natural baby food, etc. I couldn't pump no matter how much I wanted, so I couldn't even avoid formula when I went back to work. No matter, bottles and formula were there and that was that.

I worked hard to help my child get the early intervention he needed when speech and OT therapies were a must. It was just what I did. When I was working, too. Did I think I was a super-Mom? No, I just thought I was a pooped mom!!

So the short of it is that I didn't know there were snobby moms until I joined Mamapedia. By then, my kids were older and I knew already that they end up the way they end up, regardless of whether they were breast or bottle fed, whether they're circumsized or not, whether they ate Gerber's baby food or not, etc. I also know that some kids end up great, and some kids end up a mess. And it's NOT ALWAYS the parents' faults - sometimes the kids just go haywire.

There's a lot to be said about 20/20 hindsight like I have, I think. My mom-in-law once told me that she was glad she had kids when she was "young and stupid" so that she did what made sense to her and didn't know how much you could mess up being a parent. Though I didn't have kids when I was young, I certainly understand her point of view in regards to me not knowing about all this mommy snobbery back when I was raising my kids.

Dawn

Whoa whoa whoa whoa....whoa! I agree with you on ALL matters stated here and I am possibly the worst best mother out there. But The Simpsons, N. G, are not trashy and I challenge you to a duel to prove otherwise.

Good day crazy person. Good day.

HAHA. Loved your post. I feel that way at times too.

xoxoxo

I feel like I have experienced the pendulum swing on this. I am on the overprotective side of parenting and do the things you mention- organic, hand sanitizer, healthy meals, etc. I used to wonder why everyone didn't do that and couldn't believe there was any other way. After a few years, I realized that most kids will turn out fine, no matter which end of the spectrum they were raised. And I realized something more important- I am this way because it works for me, and I believe it's the way for my family. And having friends who sound a lot like you had happy, healthy children as well. So I am still over-protective, and it works fantastic for me. But I don't judge other moms, I assume they are the way they are because it works for them.

Funny though, as others mention, it works both ways. You do seem to be judging moms who don't do things the way you do. You sound very carefree and I'm sure your kids are great. But so are the kids of parents who do all the things you don't. If we are going to stop competing, we ALL need to do it.

Hah. I'm a quirky, broke, young mom. That's a turn off for a lot of folks. No matter. What other people think of me is none of my business.

I'm not perfect, not even near, but I quit perfectionism a few months ago. Cold turkey. AND I quit trying to do things for appearances. 'Cause it wasn't productive, didn't make me fit in better, and didn't help me to be a happy person or a good mother.

I've been feeling like a really good mom recently. I've been getting the support I need which has REALLY helped. I guess I don't think being perfect is obtainable, but I do believe I'm the perfect mom for my kids. We're a good fit. And I love them so big. I get to make mistakes. It's okay. I'm a human, not a robot.

When I follow my intuition I'm able to meet my kid's needs (and my own) in a way that feels Right and that's more important than looking the part. It IS the part, yah know?

In the meantime, I feel okay with feeding my kids cereal for dinner once and a while, or not having their hair all tidy all the time, or putting them on a tv show so that I can have a good long chat with a friend, or, or, or. I want to set a good model for my kids, and sometimes that means showing them that I am a human woman, and that I'm not all powerful and perfect. And that I can love myself anyway.

Aren't we all "Super-mom" in our kids eyes?

This is tooo funny, because I JUST now read the thank you note post where someone pegged you for not sending thank you notes (I usually don't remember who posts what by name at all, and I won't after this :) but I literally JUST read your name referenced and then your post about why you don't do thank you notes.:)
Yes, lots of people by nature are judgy. To be truly secure in your choices, you HAVE to also not look down on other people's choices. It's very hard. I tend to save all my judgment for an anonymous site like this, and only give it because people are asking, but in life, I REALLY try not to be annoyed with the moms who are more "snooty" than me (we have mega unfriendly yuppies in the town where we frequent the parks) or the moms who are more "sloppy" than me (we have super rednecks in our own town) about stuff. I'm sort of a mix of many styles-like lots of people are, and while you think organic eaters are annoying, some people think people who don't send than-you notes are annoying. While I think parents who dress their kids in head to toe designer stuff AND talk about shopping all the time are annoying, people think I'm wrong for spanking...and on it goes. We're all annoying to someone, so the best strategy is just to keep it to ourselves in the real world. I may be naive, but I think I mix well with all types of moms, because I put effort into being laid back and non-judgemental. I'm secure in my own style, my kids are great, and I don't look down on people EVEN THOUGH I don't know why they don't discipline a bit more (That's my usual inner judgment when kids are acting like terrors).

More and more I admire the saying: "If you cant' say anything nice..." Whoever made that up, knew what they were talking about. No matter how right you are, he who pointeth the finger usually soundeth like the biggest jerk :) I also like the saying, "It's great not to say something mean about someone, but even better not to think it" from some Zen book. I often see people I think are parenting in a way I wouldn't, and the first thing I try to say and think to myself is, "A., Stop."

As for what I do that may drive some parents nuts...I'm not a hover mom. People often look at me at the park like "You do know your littlest child is at the very top of the highest monkey bars, right?"
Yup. I know.
But she drinks organic milk ;)

I let my kids eat Pop-Tarts. Drives my MIL crazy, but I am, like, "the best mom ever" when my kids see the box in the pantry!

No. I don't care. My kids rock and that's all that matters to me!

ETA: Julie B. - loved your response. We call swimming before bedtime a "white trash bath". :)

People judge! That is just human nature. Some people say it out loud, some people go home and say it to the partners, and some people keep it to themselves. EVERYONE judges other people...

My own mother judges me for the decisions I make not only with my child but also in my personal life.

What do I do that other mothers would judge me for? A LOT! LOL

So are you saying that because I feed my daughter organic foods most of the time and only use natural products that I am a snob?? Just because I choose this lifestyle does not make me or other moms like me perfect. We do what we feel is best for our families and share info if someone asks.

I cannot speak for anyone else but I am not trying to impress anyone.

I love this thread! I am in no way a "perfect" mom - I'm sure my ex could fill you in...haha.
Now that my kids are older (16 & 14), there are some things I wish I cared less about when they were younger. I never was a helicopter parent - far from it. After going through a very public split and divorce, I care a lot less about what other people think. In fact, being on the other side I've discovered that those who judge the least have endured the most. In my opinion, those who are bragging the most about their choices (regardless of if its organic everything or absent parenting) will eventually fall the hardest and when they do, they respect everyone else's choices a lot more.
Some less than super mom things: my daughter had a butter obsession when she was two and we would find her hiding with a stick all the time. My son ate a lot of bologna and cheese slices because he had an overly sensitive gag reflex. I mean, he got to the point where he could walk by the table, see something he didn't think he liked (even if he'd never tried it) and go throw up. Now, they both have cell phones and are on facebook daily. It's a great way to monitor what them and their friends are up to. At least one night a week (for a few years) is dinner on your own - be it a tv dinner, sandwich or cereal.
I always say that despite their parents, they're turning out pretty well ;-)

Where's the LIKE button for this post??? I don't wipe their noses every 5 seconds...Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is my half hour babysitter, they eat sugary cereal for breakfast, I don't serve vegetables with every dinner and they get a piece of candy almost every time after dinner. Parenting fail! Oh well..they'll live.

I agree that there is way too much judging going on between Moms - including this post. I agree that Moms shouldn't be judged for being easy-going, but they shouldn't be judged for being "snobby" either. We all parent differently, and as long as the kids aren't being hurt, I think we should all mind our own business.

I let my kids watch The Simpsons and I am NOT trashy.

I let my son run around in a diaper on sundays bc we rarely leave the house and when we do go out to the grocery store i let him wear his superman outfit with the cape.... we get the cheap ole milk and cheese and the store. And o i thought cookies for toddlers where only good if they have been dropped on the floor and forgot about for hrs before he finishes eating them lol

Loved reading your post, and it came at a time that I needed it! I still do not do the hand sanitizer thing, even though I may be the only one at the table with out it...I've always thought it was good to be exposed to some germs and it must be because we're never sick. I've always followed the 5-second rule because it's really not that big of a deal once you brush off the dirt. I don't make my kids sit for 10-minutes after they've eaten to digest, they just go play! We throw balls in the house. I let the kids pee on trees all the time because it's so much easier than going in the house. I let them eat when they're hungry, I give them snacks in the car. If it's 3 AM and they want milk, they get it! They have a regular old nightlight in their room, not a Good Nite Lite that's just so much better. They watch cartoons. Really, the list could go on and on.
I have found myself surrounded by "perfect moms", and when I say perfect I'm talking about those who judge negatively or do not understand situations because they've never dealt with them, like what it's like to have a spirited energetic 3 year old. I feel guilty only because I have found myself unfairly disciplining my child to keep the peace with these types of woman. No more, and I feel lucky to have found female friends who are down to earth, educated and have common sense.

I love you and we can be best friends...
Are you ready for this 1...
I, uh hum.... Didn't breast feed for my own selfish reasons... (as I duck ) I know I know, I'm the worst.. Soon as my kids came out, I shoved bottles in their mouths, I just did not want to, orhave the urge to breast feed. And I'm 36 weeks now, and probably won't with this baby either, my kids are wise.being their years and hardly ever sick... So oh well..
But women get so up in arms and tell me things, thats so harsh, but it is what it is... I also whoop my kids, give then walmart brand mill, we call each other names like poopey heads and stank breath, we laugh random ppl, sometimes they ready cereal for dinner, and not that nasty cereal, I'm talking about the good stuff, appl jacks, lucky charms, and cocoa puffs...
A whole lot of other stuff, but my kids are happy and don't want for nothing, so hey...
Also, I think besides the fruit, that we bout at walmart.so idk if that counts is probably the most "organic" we do, tonight... Its fried pork chops,

I really enjoyed your post. I am a lot like you. My daughter jumps on her bed, has picked her own clothes out for school (and some of her choices have been hideous) but I let her go anyway. I let her eat ice cream an hour before dinner (gasp). But isn't that what childhood is all about? I am making memories here, and she is going to have some great memories!

People will judge you and me no matter what we do. Okay I go the organic route as much as possible but I have been at the receiving end of friends who are more like you. I don't mind it nor do I care bcoz to each her own!
I would say start ignoring others and enjoy life with your loved ones - just the way YOU want :)

I only do laundry that is physically in the laundry room, it's up to the kids to get it down there. My 10 year old went 5 days last week in the same pair of underwear - you could smell him down the block, it was this awful mix of Axe body spray and nasty drawers. My MIL happened to be visiting and was horrified. I thought it was hilarious - I knew he would change them when the stench overwhelmed him or kids made fun of him or he got a rash, any of which would teach him to change his underwear every day. But nope, MIL immediately did a big load of his laundry and ran out to buy him new underwear so he effectively learned nothing...sigh.

I feed my kids organic food and don't let them drink sodas. They go to bed at a certain hour and they only get dessert *maybe* once a week. I do that because I feel it's best for MY family. I couldn't care less what you do for yours - I'm certain that whatever it is, you think it's best for YOUR family and I think that's great. I'm also pretty sure that your kids and my kids are all going to be just fine in the long run. There are plenty of things I do that others would judge, so who am I to judge anyone. We're all doing what we feel is best for our families...our families are benefitting from our love and care. And that's all that really matters.

Oh, and last week, we made indoor s'mores with giant marshmallows. It was fun and delicious.

My kids only shower about 3 times per week during the cold months, they drink more soda than I wish they did, I sometimes allow them to be around when I watch NCIS, Modern Family or the Daily Show and my house is far from “organized”. Oh and I can’t seem to get my youngest to eat anywhere close to what he should (health wise).
That said, I do believe in some organic food like Milk, Chicken and Eggs (I mainly worry about antibiotics) and buy it often, specially the milk for the kids, but if they’re not available or can’t afford them the day I go to the supermarket, I just buy regular.

I feed my kids REALLY good food and I make sure they have a lot of exercise........ But We totally watch family guy.

Love it!!! I never could stand all that superior mommy talk, either. I had certain rules I did not bend, but I didn't mind leaving dishes in the sink to play with my kids or take them to a park. My sister was a fanatic. Her kids marched to her rules. When they came to visit me for a week, they couldn't believe I would leave beds unmade and dirty dishes in the sink to take them places to have fun. Well, THOSE are some of their best memories today. My sister now regrets not playing with her children, and wishes she hadn't take life so seriously. I predict you will have grown children who will always be thankful they had a mother like you.

Our family loves to go to the renaissance festival every year, 2 or 3 times a year. When my dd was 2 she was dressed as a fairy and was so excited to hug every fairy she could find (even ones who didn't work there! Gasp! I let my child hug strangers!). We had her on a leash b/c she was a runner, but I always let her pick who held her leash, and most of the time we were just holding her hand and it was there for comfort for me.

At one point we found the fairies and the trolls playing their version of "red light, green light" and I handed her off to a random fairy to go play with them while my husband took pictures. I overheard some woman saying "I can't believe she just gave her child to a stranger!"

My kid had a great time and she's 5 now and still loves finding all the fairies. :-)

Julie B's answer made me want to get up and cheer.

I am particular about buying milk without hormones and some organics, and I am particular about taking her to church, rocking in the recliner before bed, going to swim lessons and attending her friends' birthday parties when invited and in-town. I'm particular about having her wear clean clothes and being personally clean, and I'm particular about spending time every day enjoying our time together. Then, there are things that I am NOT all that particular about. Here's some of where I cut corners....
...housekeeping...not proud to say this, but it is the reality. I have only so many hours in a day. Plus, it turns out that dustbunnies don't eat as much as real pets (joking).
...I take my child to play places and let her graze through the meal vs. sitting down to eat it.
...it's ok if she wants to sleep in her clothes vs putting on pjs
...if she does her own hair, it won't look as good as when i do it for her, but it teaches her independence and self-sufficiency
...my 4 year old sometimes puts on make-up while I do, so yes, sometimes she does where eyeshadow and a smidgen of lipgloss to school. Saves me a battle and makes her happy...in the grand scheme of things, who really cares? It wears off by noon.

Guilty...but not Perfect. I do go through phases where I'm hyper obsessed with what my kids eat. But we are by no means perfect, I still let them have candy and popcorn at the movies, etc. I would never brag about money/tuition - that's not my thing. But I do enjoy 'educating' people about chemicals and eating well (because I've had cancer and my brother - both at early age - and we had parents who didn't try in that area). For me, it comes from fear of cancer! I was totally naive before my diagnosis, but after educating myself I was absolutely shocked by what is food and cleaners these days. Why expose my kids to harm when I can control it?

I don't FORCE my picky eater to eat what everyone else is eating.

I don't make her a separate meal either, though. But I don't worry about her refusing to eat certain things like squash or any sort of casseroles or whatever. She won't eat sandwiches (pb & j, and grilled cheese are it, unless you count a 'pizza sub' from a sub place as a sandwich). I don't feel compelled to FORCE her to eat a ham sandwich. She'll eat just ham rolled up, but not on bread. oh well.

I dont make my toddlers wash their hands before eating.

Sometimes my son wears the same shirt 2-3 days in a row. Sometimes he wears the same 2-3 shirts 2-3 days in a row because he often puts on several at once.

My toddlers play in the back yard and I stay inside and do chores.

Last night, my 2 year old daughter drank half a bottle of children's medicine, standing right next to me in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner, and I didnt even notice. Who would have thought she could get the child proof lid off? Not me... obviously.

I've left my kids in the car when I run in to pick up dry cleaning.

Oh - an my son pooped on the sand table last week.

So funny! You almost hit our lifestyle right on the dot! My friends couldnt belive when my kids were little how dirty I used to let them get. They would play in the backyard in their diapers in the dirt and mud and be covered from head to toe, I'd take off their diapers hose them down and throw them in the shower! They get regular milk, except when my son was young and had to be on special formula not even the regular stuff, they eat good, but some times I dont want to cook and its a free for all, they do go to private school and have to wear uniforms but next year they will go to public and I hope I will let them pick thier own styles/oufits, I do right now when they have school pics, I tried the first couple years making them all perfect for school pics then I realized I want pics of them not who I want them to be, just of them and whatever their style is that year! We make messes that dont always get cleaned up we run around the house dancing wildly, although one rule I am firm about is no jumping in my furniture, we watch tv, maybe too much, but they also have alot of outside time and are always in one sport or another. THis is the time of their lives I want them to remember doing fun things being a kids, not a minnie adult! I think you are doing an awesome job of providing that feeling for yours! And as for the judgemental moms I say screw them and mind your own! When I quit work when my daughter was 2 and my son was four I had a friends tell me she would never do that beause she wanted to be able to give her kids everything, I think giving them everything is doing without material extras and being there for and with them IF you can. The last three years I worked part time, while they were in school, then I get them and am their for them in the afternoon and evening. Everyone has their own way of doing things and if your kids are behaved and respectful then things are going good!

I hope I don't ever sound competitive or a snob for the decisions I make and what I allow or don't allow my kiddos to do. I don't do organic for no other reason then I have not done my research to see the health benefits. However, I do support locally grown and cage free products. I want my kids to be happy, healthy, contribute to society and lead wonderful lives.
What people choose to do in their lives is their decisions and we should all be supportive and non judgmental setting positive and loving examples for our kids. I hit myself as I say this as I know I have judged a time or too . . .

My kids can have a sip of my Diet Coke every now and again but I don't encourage it. Sprite is a great treat for them! Sugar, well, my kids have enough energy as it is but I loave chocolate so we always have a small bag of something in the house. I do my best to encourage healthy eating or eating in general but we have those nights where a battle is about to brew and I choose to not fight it.

I encourage Please and Thank You's as I want my kids to be polite. I try to keep t.v. time to a minimal but come on, we all get tired and need a break and sometimes the t.v. is my crutch : ) Sometimes I need my t.v. time as well and although I don't let them watch horror movies or violent movies they can snuggle with me and try to understand the latest episode of Law & Order.

Enjoy life ladies and encourage love and happiness!!! Ok, that sounded a bit cheesy :)

Amen, Sista!

Seriously, I live in a small, mostly upper-middle class community (and we are not, upper-middle class ... not sure how we got here, exactly). Everyone is really nice, but there is just so much of what you are describing.

I try to just love my kids and not worry too much about it. Definitely easier said than done, but I try. We wash hands with soap and water, we keep our food safe, we don't buy organic anything, my boys drink 3 or 4 glasses of store brand, skim milk each day and love it. I always find clean dishes and clean clothes, but I can't remember the last time all the dishes were clean and all the laundry was done.

My boys are young and still require a lot of attention and don't really help out yet, so the house is no where near as clean as I hope it will be some day. But overall, life is good.

I parent simmilarly to my parents and that includes the occasional spanking - somethings have been modified/improved upon for my son vs me and my sisters upbringing and I do most of what you do too. I do not do the driving on my lap thing - I have driving issues and really do not want him to think it is a toy or a *fun* thing to do - and the 5 sec rule is out b/c the dogs get it before it hits the ground!

Why is everyone so defensive about a post that is clearly meant to be lighthearted and funny?

Geez moms! Chill the heck out! There's a problem if you really feel judged by this post!

Rules are meant to be broken and life is best lived in moderation. I take some Thursday nights off at around 7 p.m. so my 16 month old and I can watch opera on PBS. At first it was all about me needing half an hour for regrouping but fortunately the little guy has developed a taste for opera. You should come to my house to check out an enraptured toddler over opera who sings along as best he can. I am not worried about impressing anyone. Not even my husband. I ignore the super parent's dribble. Their vehemence hides something and it’s probably not even that bothersome/hideous/sinister/awful except to themselves. I figure we each do the best we can and I don't feel the need to operate my life as an endless competition. Besides so long as I don't raise a Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer my contribution to the world will be sufficient regardless of someone else's assessment of my parenting.

I have always like Walmart 2% milk. It does not leave a nasty cream film in my throat.

I let the kids watch most anything except I Carly, I hate the character of Sam, she's a thieving glutton who is mean spirited to her friends.

We don't watch Shake It Up. I had high hopes for the show since these kids love to dance. I am not going to watch another ignorant adult be made a fool of or another little brother belittled and neglected so they can sneak out and go party.

I am sort of tired of Patrick on Sponge-bob but thank goodness he's not ignorant in every one of them.

These grand kids are convinced they need that newer milk, Tru Moo. I actually read the label. It is the same basic exact ingredients as the Walmart brand chocolate milk and Walmart brand costs less. The SAME amount of sugar. They advertise it's so healthy because it has less sugar than other brands. Well maybe less than Hersheys chocolate milk of something.

I am one of those Mom's who has Dinner free for all and it's because it's not Sunday sundaes for dinner. I will help them play jokes. It is okay to jump on the bed and dressing up like princesses and going to the store in full costume and makeup. My kids love me, i love them, i give guidance where needed. Don't care what others think.

Too Funny! What I can tell you as a grandma (obviously a mother) is that your kids will most likely turn out wonderfully without the need for all the anti-anxiety medications, etc. Many people make life much to difficult. Keep on doing what your doing.

Relax! I agree with you on most of everything. I buy organic if its on sale, but otherwise, its expensive. The rest of the world doesn't get organic, and they do ok...but I am not opposed to it either.

I will try to stay as natural as possible, but I buy boxed mac and cheese, and canned soup. I use frozen foods for a lot of things, and the only thing we are really sticklers on is nitrites because they can really hurt you in the shorter and longer run.

My picky eater won't even touch a sandwich, had 1 bite once, that's it. She eats some of the stuff you might put in one....I don't do sanitizer because I don't want the extra chemicals on my kids' skin, I'd rather have germs. I let my 2 year old dress herself too, and sometimes we stay in pjs all day, its fun! We are all different and do what we can and want to do.

I agree with everything you said except the jumping on the furniture!

I have never bought into the whole "organic" thing. I think germs serve a purpose. I definitely live by the saying "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt!"

I let my GD go outside to play without making a formal "date." Gasp!!!!

And I let her go to a friend's house or have a friend over without a phone call to/from the other mom! Gasp again!

I don't limit "screen time" unless she has homework or chores to do.

I don't monitor every little thing she watches on TV except, (like you) no Family Guy or Simpsons!

I don't make everything from scratch - in fact I don't make much at all from scratch. If it comes in a box, you bet I know how to make it!

I too will let my GD go to school in mixed-matched clothes or to the grocery store with me dressed in her old halloween costumes! I love to encourage individuality and her "artsy" side. I could care less what anyone else thinks.

Thanks for the post - it was fun!

I agree with everything that you said! My friends daughter is always dressed so neat with perfect hair and by the way that same little "brat" can do no wrong, However my daughter is usually a mess and of course everything that goes wrong is always her fault! When my daughter was in 3rd grade, she hated to have her hair brushed, it was always clean but I chose my battles and if on any particular day she didn't want to have her hair brushed, fine go to school with tangled hair, not the end of the world. But her perfect 3rd grade teacher told her that she needed to brush her hair. I thought that the teacher over stepped her boundaries!

Anyway, where I live, our town is plaqued with perfect mothers with perfect children. I am not one of them, but I bet we have a whole lot more fun!

i probably fall on the spectrum of "snobby mom" in your opinion. although i do tend to put off cleaning in favor of cuddling, most of the time.

it's okay. some think i'm too lax, some would think i'm a snob....my son is amazing, and in his eyes i'm the perfect mom.

I let my one year old watch mickey mouse. My kids dont like most vegetables and I dont force them down their throats. I too will let them have dessert if they dont finish all of their dinner. I reward my son with sugar for different tasks because he is very hard to motivate. My son will be five in September and I still put his shirt and socks and shoes on for him most of the time.

I love the Barbie moms that show up at school with their fancy nails, hair, makeup and clothes. Yes, I get my nails done too, but I will just throw my hair in a pony tail and put on some lip gloss, if even that. I don't have to compete with anyone. I'm happy, so is hubby and my kids. We do the best we can to make sure we are all happy and taken care of. We do whats right for OUR family and I don't care about anyone else. They may have a bigger/nicer house/car but they probably are in major debt because of it. Hubby is probably cheating on his Barbie wife with another Barbie and their kids probably don't even LIKE them. LOL! No one really knows what goes on with their neighbors but I don't care. Your post is so true! =)

Ugh. I parent a child on the autistic spectrum. One would think that in the ASD parenting community, we'd be all about uniting to work toward our kids' well-being. What I've actually encountered is passive-aggressive nonsense from moms who claim how"normal" their children became after subjecting them to expensive, unproven alternative treatments. How wonderful that little Kaitlyn toilet trained when you put her on a gluten-free/dairy free diet. All that did for my child was constipate her and it turned me into a raving b**** for two years accommodating it. Yes, I did not make exceptions for birthdays. Yes, I know how to read a food label. "Oh, maybe she's not a gut kid, she's a metal kid." Really? Because I thought she's just a kid, period. "Here's the number for our DAN doctor. Of course, he only takes PPOs and private pay." Well, I guess that leaves our family out. Too bad we won't be subjecting our daughter to painful chelation and expensive supplements her body doesn't need anyway. "All I'm saying is Ben practically tested off of the spectrum after he went on coconut-Kefir" - I am not making this diet up - "and now you can hardly tell him apart from the 'normal' kids!" Yes. I'm sure Ben feels unconditionally loved having parents who don't respect his operating system. By the way, did you hear him out in the hall, echoing lines from video games when he thought nobody was listening? Yeah...that's not typical of someone with autism at all.

I've encountered other snobbery around "giving up" on my daughter because I won't push her to do academic drills if all it's going to do is make her tantrum and pee her pants and not learn anything. And don't even get me started on the vaccine issue.

So, you know, maybe I am a chump for going the slow, steady route of therapy and a really excellent (and lucky) placement in the public school system for my kiddo. Maybe I am failing her because I am "doing my best" as a parent and not actually "getting it done". Fine with me. They can screw up their kid their way, I'll screw my kid up my way.

You do realize that you yourself are being judgmental and preachy about your own mothering with statements like "um , its not working because your kid still needs a spanking", "my kids hardly ever get sick" and by using the term "snobby moms". Crowing about how great you are because you are so laid back and free with your kids is just as bad as what you are attacking other moms for doing.

Well, I do plenty of things that I am sure would horrify some people, but I am uptight about my share of things too. However, I couldn't care less about impressing other moms and I don't judge anybody. I realize that my hang ups are my own and I just try to do what works for my family.

I try to feed my kids as much natural food as possible, but I do make frozen pizza or lasagna from time to time. I let them eat candy and soda on occasion. I buy regular milk and on top of that about 25% of the time I let them put chocolate in it. They buy lunch at school at least twice a week. I try to limit food dye, but I let them eat whatever they want at parties. I also give them dessert even if they didn't finish dinner(sometimes instead of dinner). I allow my youngest son to make himself something else for dinner almost every night because he is super picky.

My kids all read by the age of four, but just because it was something we enjoyed doing together, I wasnt trying to get it done before kindergarten. They get grounded for grades under an 80. I let them watch almost ANYTHING on tv(my kids are 9-13 though) but limit the amount of time they are watching tv(or playing video games, or on the computer).

I could never let my kids go out in mismatched clothes, it just bothers me. When they were little I would let them wear costumes to the store or even pj's when they were sick. My daughter's hair is always done, even at softball/volleyball/cheer practice, because again it just bothers me.

My kids don't go anywhere that I don't know the parents. I allow them to go outside but only on our street. Sometimes I let my youngest son do his homework in the morning before school, because after all the practices and stuff I am just too tired.

Lol, actually after reading this back to myself it sounds like I am just a mess, but I have happy, healthy, smart well rounded children that love me. I do my best for them every single day, as I assume most moms do and that is what really matters.

Updated

Well, I do plenty of things that I am sure would horrify some people, but I am uptight about my share of things too. However, I couldn't care less about impressing other moms and I don't judge anybody. I realize that my hang ups are my own and I just try to do what works for my family.

I try to feed my kids as much natural food as possible, but I do make frozen pizza or lasagna from time to time. I let them eat candy and soda on occasion. I buy regular milk and on top of that about 25% of the time I let them put chocolate in it. They buy lunch at school at least twice a week. I try to limit food dye, but I let them eat whatever they want at parties. I also give them dessert even if they didn't finish dinner(sometimes instead of dinner). I allow my youngest son to make himself something else for dinner almost every night because he is super picky.

My kids all read by the age of four, but just because it was something we enjoyed doing together, I wasnt trying to get it done before kindergarten. They get grounded for grades under an 80. I let them watch almost ANYTHING on tv(my kids are 9-13 though) but limit the amount of time they are watching tv(or playing video games, or on the computer).

I could never let my kids go out in mismatched clothes, it just bothers me. When they were little I would let them wear costumes to the store or even pj's when they were sick. My daughter's hair is always done, even at softball/volleyball/cheer practice, because again it just bothers me.

My kids don't go anywhere that I don't know the parents. I allow them to go outside but only on our street. Sometimes I let my youngest son do his homework in the morning before school, because after all the practices and stuff I am just too tired.

Lol, actually after reading this back to myself it sounds like I am just a mess, but I have happy, healthy, smart well rounded children that love me. I do my best for them every single day, as I assume most moms do and that is what really matters.