Combined Birthday Party for My Sons Both Born in August.

I had a joint birthday for my children my oldest was born April 8 and her brother was born April 10. They had it atchuck cheeses and it went great. I just got them septate cakes, which is kind of nice cause then you can do a chocolate and vanilla.

Hi J.,
My sons were born 3 days apart from eachother in December. They are now 10 and 3 and have had the past three birthday parties together. The older one has never been jealous. I take him to the party store and let him pick out a "theme." Harry Potter, Transformers, etc. Then I buy 1 pack of plates, napkins, etc. in his chosen theme, as well as 1 of each for his brother. I also get a balloon bouquet for the party for each of them. If I need extras I just use generic happy birthday. Each one feels like it's his party. I also bake or buy two different cakes. (Which works out well so guests have their choice of chocolate or vanilla!) It works for us, no complaints so far!

Parties don't have to be expensive or fancy. I would have two parties or a party for the 5 yr old and just a tiny recognition of his bday for the 1 yr old as they hardly even notice they are having a bday. I bake cupcakes and either bake or have a cake and for the 5 yr old have a few games for them.

I don't see a problem with having 1 party for both of them. My 2 nephews were born within a week of eachother and their parents always do a joint party. I don't see a big deal though. I had 5 kids in my family growing up and we got a party every other year. My parents couldn't afford to do 5 parties every year. On our birthdays we got to pick our favorite meal for dinner and would get a couple presents from our friends and that was it. It was still our special day.

My two daughters are 3 days apart (April 4th & April 7th). They are turning 3 & 6 this year. I've always done a combo party for them and have never had issues with either of them being jealous or upset for sharing the day. (In fact next year will be a 3-kids birthday party since I'm expecting again and due April 3rd!) I just make sure to let them have a say in the cake, theme, goodie bags, etc. I think it is nicer to have one party for many reasons: so you are not inviting family over 2 weeks in a row, cost, and the work involved in having a party!
Hope this helps. Good luck!

J.,
I have never had or known of this kind of situation, but I was wondering how you might have different times, within the party, for each party. Depending on your son's temperament and whether he can delay gratification, you could have your 1-year-old's celebration at the beginning -- a little cake and a special start-time so that family are there. And then you can have your son's celebration an hour or 2 later, and have his friends (if this is a friends-included party) arrive at his start-time, so that they aren't part of the little one's celebration at all. And if he can wait that long, having his last will be good, b/c that will be what he remembers from the day b/c the 1-year-old's party will be a faint memory by the time he's done playing with friends and opening presents!

Best of luck,

S.
Mom of 4yo and 7yo

Two birthday cakes and TWO rounds of the birthday song addressing each of them. It may be helpful on their birthdate, to perform a special activity (of their choosing) on their special day.

J. - we're doing the same thing later this month. DD turned 5 in December and DS turns one on the 28th. Part of it may be personality and her attitude toward her baby brother, but DD was excited to have a joint birthday party (we'll see how many years that lasts!). But, really, the party will be designed around her since the baby really couldn't care less. If you make sure some of Jacob's favorite playmates are invited and there are a couple activities specifically for them, he may not even notice that the adults are all over the baby.

I would suggest having the combined party, maybe have one cake with both their faces on it and invite your older sons friends as well as your younger sons friends. My son and daughter are the same way, my daughter is five years younger than my oldest son and their birthday is the same month 2 days apart April 11 and April 13th so up until my son was six we had combined parties but two seperate cakes and we had different times for the gifts and the blowing out of the candles it worked well for me. However now my two grandchildren birthdays are a week apart my grandaughter's birthday is Jan 25 and my gandson's birthday is Feb 2, so we will be combining the party on Feb 7 but two seperate cakes and the opening of the gifts. What so great about yours is that you have two boys which makes it somewhat of an easy task. However your older son will be wanting to have parties alone when he gets older which may be better for you. Hope this helps. God Bless you on your decision.

Hi J.,
I don't think you should combine the party. Aaron won't remember a party. All you need to do for him is have your family at your house, give him some cake & take pictures. I didn't even throw a party for my kids first birthday. Your son Jacob on the other hand will remember his 5th birthday. He's had to give up a lot this year with the birth of his brother. Make this day special for Jacob. You can combine their party next year when Aaron is 2.

We also had a combined party when my kids were 1 and 3. I was actually surprised after the party that my one year old was the one who kind of got lost at the party. My 3 year old recieved the bulk of the attention, and the baby just seemed to be along for the ride! He did not mind, and did nto even realize it was his party! I guess everyone gave my older one more attention since she and realized it was her party. It all worked out fine and everyone had a ball. It was great that at the end, everyone had presents to open!

We did the same thing for our daughters who turned one and four in june/july. there was no problem at all with jealousy and a lot of people paid attention to the baby since it was her first bday! It worked out just fine since the older daughter had a few family friends there that she was into and a bounce house. good luck.

My opinion, don't do it. Either you have seperate parties (1st birthdays are important!) but a 5 yr old has friends of his own and as you said he will probably be upset. Have something small for the 5 yr old maybe a few friends over or celebrate at school. Then if you have a family party you will need to think about what you want to do. May everyone bring 2 presents? That tough on family too.

Parties a week apart may work one on Saturday or Sunday and then the 1 yr old the following week. (he won't know it's his birthday anyway, what 1 yr old is cognizant of time/calendars!)

I am 35, my older brother is 37. My birthdate is June 30 and his is July 7. We always had a shared birthday party on the fourth of July with relatives. I don't think I ever felt jealous or even expected anything from that. The important thing was that although our family party was the same date and a big event besides, on our birthday night it was a special night with our own family. Our favorite meal and a small cake just for our family.

We didnt get into the kids parties like parents do today and with the summer birthdays it was always hard. But a couple of years we had other event parties hosted at our house - Halloween or Valentines day to make up for not having friends parties in the summer.

I too shared birthday parties with 2 cousins.. and never minded.. For me..I GOT a party.. My birthday is very close to a holiday.. so for the rest of my life, I 've had to work on my birthday..and been forgotten. It's ok.. I'm old now and have ceased to care. But the little guys.. I wonder if you encouraged your 5 year old to help make or do something to make your 1 year old's party special for him.. and You do something for the baby to make it special for your older boy.. if that might help with a jelousy issue.
I had 3 kids growing up...The last one with Down syndrome. By getting my older 2 to help with things like his therapy, school lessons and things.. they have grown to be a very close knit set of adults. The older 2 would be delighted every time they could teach thier little brother something. Things like dancing, saying new words, making a sandwich.. you know.. little things we often take for granted.
Most of our extended family members did tend to dote on my youngest, but my older 2 got through it by showing off all they got to teach him. This has continued through adulthood. The older 2 still like spending spare time with thier little brother. The older 2 no longer live at home and have each begun thier own familys..and still come by to pick up little brother to take him out with them, or have him help them with things like shopping or laundry or moving... and he is absolutly delighted when they do.

Get your older boy to help you with the younger one.. see if it helps.

Hi J.
I have to do the same thing every year with my boys i buy 2 some cakes for each child with different design and the decorations to,I take the take it split it in half for each child. That has always seemed to work out they dont feel like they are sharing the day because they have their own decorations and a cake.
Hope this helps

In our family the first birthday has always been a big deal! More people are invited and it is your special day. The years after that, just close family and once they hit kindergarden, maybe a friend party. My kids are 12, 10 and 5 and their Birthdays are July, Sept and Nov. For the last few years I have had all three of their Birthday's in one party. My relatives love it! We sing three times and they take turns opening their presents. Because I do all three at once, we are able to rent bouncy tents or whatever, because I am saving money by having one party. My kids understand and on their actual day, they get to pick where we eat for dinner. This is just how it is in our family and once the kids are used to things happening a certain way, they don't mind. I think it will work out fine for you. I think this will be the norm for them and when you think about the fact that he has had his own party for 4 years, and maybe explain that to him, he'll see he is actually luckier than his brother. : )

Hi J., both of my sons were born in March, 4 years apart, so I know where you're at. They are now 16 and 12. when they were little, we would always have joint parties for family. The older one would get a party at McDonalds playland (or a similar place, sometimes just at our house) for himself and 5 friends. This seemed to help keep the jealosy against the "baby" away, as he had his "big boy" party. We did this until the younger son started school, then they were each allowed to ask 5 friends for a joint party. My husband would be with one son and his friends and I would be with the other son and his friends. All in the same room!!! now that they're older, we don't do parties but take the boys to an indoor water park resort for a weekend and they each get to take 1 friend. It does work!

I'd be sure to have two separate cakes, and let Jacob pick out his own "theme" (character plates, napkins, etc...). And sing Happy Birthday twice (and ask Jacob if he wants to get sung to first, or last). Be sure to get wrapping paper that is different for both boys. Have Jacob decorate his little brother's cake. Make him a part of planning the event.

Perhaps you can have Jacob invite one friend over on the weekend, separate from the party, and take them to the movies (with popcorn, of course) to celebrate his birthday in a special way without his brother...

Good luck!
M.

I do combined parties. I don't think it will be a problem for your oldest, especially this year. You said you thought a lot of the focus will be on your youngest - I think that's only if you make it that way. At my combined birthday parties, the older one always seems to have more fun since they have more kids their own age and more things that only they can do - like to have a bounce house - the 5 year old can go in it but the 1 year old can't. Or playing games, or doing anything really that is done at a birthday party. I would make sure to do things that you would do for a 5 year old birthday party if it wasn't combined... even if and especially since the 1 year old can't do them if you are afraid of jealousy issues. We also always do 2 cakes and 2 separate balloon things for their respective themes. Just last year we did a 5 year and 1 year birthday combined and I had my 5 year old pick the 1 year old's theme so she was involved in the planning for her sister's party also. She picked baby einstein for her. If you were planning on just family, I would invite at least a few of his friends from preschool and he will forget that it's his brother's birthday also.

My birthday is Aug 23rd, my middle brother's is Aug 31st and my little brother's is Dec 23rd. For various reasons my mother always threw us a combined party if she threw a big party. (We typically only celebrated with our favorite meal for the day, a cake, and some presents from mom and dad) At any rate, we always had a blast. To make it more their own, make them their own cakes. The one year old can tear into his cake and the older one can have a theme cake of his own.

If there are jealousy issues then that will be a good opportunity to teach a lesson on how inappropriate jealousy is and that is won't be allowed in your home. Good to learn that lesson as a child rather than be like many adults I know that can't stand someone that makes more money than they do, tries to out-do the neighbors in every party they throw, or has to buy the biggest, latest, and greatest to show off to the neighbors. It really is a problem in society today I think and it could give you a golden opportunity to teach your oldest now not to be jealous of others.

PS and since my mother was having a combined party she always asked that guests not bring gifts and if they did to make them $10 or less....that way she didn't feel like she was putting everyone out having them all at once.

I just did this in sept for both my daughters, my oldest turned 4 on sept 4 and the baby turned 1 on the 2nd. It was only fair to myself as well as family that we combined the party and it went very well, except for the weather. My oldest had all her cousins and or friends to play with and the adults all had a chance to spoil the baby. We got one large sheet cake decorated with the oldest theme(little mermaid) and i just got a smash cake specially decorated for the baby. We sang happy birthday to my oldest first she blew out her candles, then everybody turned to the baby and sang to her, it was fun and i know so much easier than having 2 parties. I know as they get older and are in school i will have to separate them, so i will combine them as long as i can. good luck, if you have any questions feel free to contact me

I'm wondering if you have discussed this with your four year old? If he really is bothered by having to share the party then I would skip the party for the one year old. The baby won't have any idea what's going on anyway. Just do a special meal and cake for the baby on his actual birthday. If your four year old doesn't care then just do the combined party.

Only one problem with this is if the four year old says he doesn't care but then when all the relatives come and start fussing over the baby he feels jealous and unhappy. Only you can gauge if jealousy is likely to be an issue. If you think it will be, I just skip the one year old party.

I too always had the combined birthday with my sister (7 days apart) and I have to admit that I did sort of mind a little. I'd say that since Jacob is 5 that maybe you focus on having a 'friend' birthday party for him separately with kids and then the combined family party won't seem so bad - it would be like having two parties for you! I also think that a first birthday is a special one too - and your guests will douce more attention on Aaron. Just an idea!

I too have two kids who's birthdays are 4 days apart. We alway do a joint party. (It also works best for the relatives. Since they are also late summer birthdays the relatives can make one weekend in August or September instead of two.) Thekids pick the theme. But on their birthdate we do make it a special day for them. Gifts, choice of food or restaurant whatever. One year when my daughter was about Jacobs age we filled her room full of balloons. The blow up kind. When she tried to get out of bed she had to manuever over tons of balloons. She is 10 and still talks about it.

J., You like to plan ahead, don't you? It was nice of you as a child not to mind sharing your party with a cousin, wouldn't it be nice if your sons would follow in your footsteps? Since things are so overdone these days and this economic climate provides an opportunity to cut back on some of the overindulgence of kids today, I say try to establish a shared party for the family as your tradition, family members will appreciate this also. You can mention it to family members not to overdo the attention to the one year old and they should oblige. Since it will be some months before the party Jacob's attitude toward his bro is hard to predict, but you can help him by providing other opportunities when he shares with his brother and point out his brother's happiness when this occurs. As they get older and have parties with school friends, I think those should be separate. Big brothers often lord it over their younger brother and you would do well to read up on this subject. The younger one will idolize the older and put up with almost anything, but it does leave some scars on some younger brothers. On the other hand, look at Eli Manning, what better way to prepare for the hard knocks of life than having an older brother. You and they have been blessed.

We do a combined party for our two children, who both have birthdays within two days of each other in February. It just makes more sense economically and since our family is all out of town, they only have to travel this way for one party. My daughter, who is turning 5, hasn't expressed any "issues" with sharing her party with her brother, but I am planning to plan a special day for her & 1-2 close friends. I'll take them to get manicures, or see a movie...something that is special (and girlie!) just for her. When my son is older (he's turning 2) I'll do the same thing for him. This way, the family gets to be together for one big party, but the kids will each have a special day as well. Hope that helps!

I would have separate parties for the boys. It doesn't have to be expensive - just homemade (box) cake, ice cream and punch at your home. Remember - birthdays are about celebrating the person having the birthday, not impressing others. I think that everyone needs to have a day of "his/her own." (My birthday is 12/24 so growing up, my birthday was always a second thought and I never felt special about it.) Just my thoughts!

I think the success of your idea really depends on who you are inviting to the party. To do one combined family party with extended family and perhaps close friends no problem. To have a combined birthday party where you are inviting other same-age kids could be kind of hectic. Could you perhaps have a combined family party for both but allow your oldest to invite a few friends over for a small get-together? Particularly if he is headed to kindergarten in the fall, you could bill it as an end of the summer/back to school bash.

I'm not really sure about this one. I would think that the first birthday would be a really bad time for them to share a party. The first birthday is the most special one and I think you are right about the older one probably getting jealous and also I would feel like I was taking something from my son's first birthday experience by making him share it (but I'm super (over) sensitive about those kinds of things). That being said, the first birthday is more for the parents than the kids because they will never remember it. If money is an issue, I think as long as you make it clear to the guests that they need to be sensitive to your older sons feelings it should be fine. The little one will be oblivious to the sharing (as long as you get some pictures of him alone being the king that he can look at when he's older). I think one cake is fine for the guests because you will probably end up getting the 1 year old his own crush cake, but would sing the birthday song twice instead of smashing the names together like we do for adults.

Well, not sure if that helped at all... just giving my opinions. Good luck and Happy Early Birthday to your boys! :)

My 37 year old husband and his older brother have birthdays 2 weeks apart and they always had combined parties. To this day, my husband is slightly annoyed by that. I would suggest a small party with Jacob's friends and the bigger family 1st birthday for Aaron. In the future, keep it to 2 small parties. It might be OK to invite grandparents on one day in between for cake and ice cream, but I would let the boys each have their own day.

It's so lucky it's a summer party, though. I think a big, casual backyard barbeque or gathering in the park is the perfect kind of event to have a "shared" party, especially when the age difference is large. Recruit a couple of friends or family to oversee activities with kids, and again summer is so easy - you can do a little fishing game in a tub of water for the tiniest kids, and something like horseshoes (the safe kind) out for bigger kids. We have a portable game called "swingball" (like tetherball with a tennis ball and rackets) that you can easily take to the park and is always a hit with all ages at our block party.

Each kid should have their own cake, and you can do different goodie bags for different ages. I don't think you need to share a theme, but if you're feeling creative you can even do that - my son shares a party with a cousin, and for example one year when they were younger they did Dora The Explorer, with a "treasure map" activity. But I really think with the age difference, it's hard to do activities together.

Good luck! I think it sounds like a blast!

My kids are almost exactly four years apart also! We have had combined parties since the get go, for the same reasons.
What we did is have an activity for the 5-year-olds, such as making a simple craft, or decorating cookies or cupcakes, or something else that doesn't need too much supervision or involvement, as we're generally pretty busy at these parties :D. We've also made pinatas. It makes the older child feel like they have something special to do at their party (and it's fun to make with your older son!).
We do smaller but separate cakes as well, or have a cake for the older one, and then a cupcake for the younger child.
I hope that helps! Send me a message if you would like more info/details!