Separate Parties for Kids with Birthdays Six Weeks Apart?

Updated on August 03, 2009
G.D. asks from Glen Ellyn, IL
24 answers

Hi Moms! We recently had to cancel our daughter's 5th birthday party this weekend because both she and her sister are ill. We are trying to reschedule, but are having difficulty deciding just what to do. Their birthdays are six weeks apart and I always like to have separate parties for them - this way, they can each enjoy their own theme (Barbie, Dora, etc...). My five year old's party could be scheduled for three weeks before her sister's actual b-day. Her sister turns two at the end of August, but due to family activities and vacations, I had planned on having her party in September sometime, so their proposed parties would be one month apart. Some people in my family are pushing for me to have one party for the two of them together, stating that I should "get two birds with one stone", but I am not sure that I want to do it that way. Am I being unreasonable? I just want my daughters to each have their own b-day party. I work hard on their b-day celebrations to make sure that we serve their favorite cake and food and tailor it just to them. Any helpful advice would be great. Thanks, Moms!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of the advice, Moms! It was helpful to read both the pros and cons of separate or a combined party. My Husband and I have decided to have one family party for both closer to the younger ones birthday since our older daughter is having a kid party this weekend. We are getting two cakes and I will decorate the house in both of their themes (one in the kitchen and one in the dining room). I will get my older daughter her themed pinata for her kid party and my younger daughter her Dora pinata for the family party. Hopefully next year we will have a third birthday in the summer somewhere, so who knows what will happen next year! Thanks again!

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Since summer is half over already, I would schedule both 1 party for both this year. People are most likely trying to cram in summer plans and would appreciate coming 1 time instead of 2 this year. The 2 year old won't care d you could explain to the elder sister that this is how it has to be for this year because they were both sick.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have boys 5 days apart. The 5 year old gets his kids party all to himself, then I have one family party for them both and I theme it towards the younger one, who doesn't have a friends party being only 2. It seems to work out great, the older one is happy and gets the party he wants and I explained to him that the family party will have a theme for the baby since he didn't get his own party. They both get presents from relatives so they don't care!

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H.B.

answers from Chicago on

My girls' birthdays are 2 weeks apart. We've always had one big family party to celebrate both of them, and I've always tried to include both of their likes in the theme...its just too hard to be able to schedule 2 different events and expect the whole family to make it when they are so close together.

On their actual birthdays, it is all about them. They pick where/what we eat and what we do...open presents from us and we have a cake.

Hope that helps!

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would NEVER have a combined party. The whole purpose of a party is to make the birthday girl feel special. This is HER day, and I don't feel she should need to share it with her sister.

The rest of the year our kids are taught that the world does not revolve around them, they need to wait their turn, and they must share, etc. Their birthday is the one time a year that THEY are the center of attention, are "queen for a day".

If kids/babies are very little and don't know the difference, I guess it's not as big a deal. Otherwise, schedule the two parties when it's good for you, and the family members who can make it will come. Don't fret about the guests, it's all about your daughters.

PS-I think I'd feel the same way about twins. Just because you are born on the same day as your sibling, you shouldn't get jipped on sharing the attention....unless you WANTED to share the party.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

My two girls are also six weeks apart. I know what you mean about wanting to give them their own parties. This past year, though, we were moving right around their birthday times. I did end up giving my younger daughter her own party because it was her first and I really thought all of the attention should be on her. However, when it came time for my older daughter's birthday (she was turning 4), things were still a bit hectic from our move so I ended up combing her party with my niece who is 6 and the two girls had a BLAST! I think they thought it was really cool to share their party with their cousin. They even had just one cake with both their names on it.

Don't feel pressured to do what your family wants but don't over estimate your children's need for their own party, either. One other thing is that a 5 year old and a 2 year don't really have a lot of their own friends so now is the time to combine the party before they have a ton of school friends that they want to include. Maybe you should try it this year and see how it goes. It could be a new special tradition.

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

My children also have birthdays 6 weeks apart and a couple years ago I started having just one party. My kids love it! I have a boy and a girl and it's been so much fun. They each pick a cake or theme they like and I make 2 small cakes for their special day. We sing to each one and they open presents one at a time. I was worried at first that it would be cheating them, but like your other commenter said, they just like to have fun. It's also easier on my family that attends and budget friendly to me as I only have to feed them once! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Champaign on

Lisa B. is right on the mark. I have 2 girls w/a boy on the way and their bdays will be 2 weeks apart each. To save on wear and tear on my family (e.g., travel, time (we all lead such busy lives), etc.) I have one party. Last year I did 2 themes w/my girls, and I expect I'll do 3 themes when it's time to include my boy. You can even get smaller cakes and they can each have their own. The kids then get their own "friend" party and we have cupcakes and sing happy birthday ON their special day.

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D.E.

answers from Chicago on

I, too, do just one party. I have four children. My five and seven year olds share the exact same birthday and my nine and three year olds are five days apart. I have one birthday party in September and one in April. They LOVE sharing a birthday. My nine year old was upset that my three year old wasn't born on her birthday. She even asked if they still get to share a party. We always have two separate themes at the party. It saves me time, energy and money. I would do it together. Why don't you ask your daughters if they'd like to do it together? Present it in a way that's fun, something that they get to do, not have to do.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

I COMPLETELY understand! My kids birthdays are 13 days apart (one turned 2 and the other 5, boy and girl). I understand wanting to have 2 seperate themes also since I have a boy and girl. What I have done is have one party for the family (I have several family members that don't live here and travel a couple hours to come) and then have a friend party for each of them. For the family party I combine themes (we have a Thomas party and My Little Pony) and had a seperate cake for each of them. For their friends party it's all about that child. It's completely crazy and hectic but I want each of them to feel they have a special day. I don't think you are being unreasonable! My neices and nephews have their birthdays close together also and we do the same thing with them.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, my kids (almost 7-year old girl and almost 3-year old boy) are 4 weeks apart, and although I had a special one for my little guy's 1st birthday, I started last year having a combined family birthday as close to the middle of their two birthdays as possible! It is great for us, cuz' it does save on the food expense! BUT I had to make 2 different cakes (1 princess and 1 Mickey), and I had both decorations to satisfy a boy and girl, and everyone was happy, especially for family members who are busy and have a hard time doing two, especially when so close together??? BUT, on their birthday, we always take them out to the restaurant of their own choice!!! (Or you can make them their favorite meal) - that way you are doing something special for each one? Just a thought! Whatever you do will be fine, though!

All the best!

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L.C.

answers from Champaign on

I agree that every kid should have their own special day but with families that doesn't always work. You could do both parties at the same time and still let them have their own cakes with their own theme, just maybe on a smaller scale. Then on their actual birthdays have a special day just for them.
Good luck.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

I think you are the host and you get to decide. If it's more fun for you and you don't mind the work, I don't see why your family gets to decide. Do what works for you!

Having said that, we've done a combined birthday for my son and one of his girl cousins for several years now, and it's fun and creative to come up with activities and favors that touch on both of their themes. For example, one year they chose different superheroes (Cheetah girl and spiderman, I think) and we did a decorate-it-yourself cape as a favor. Until the last couple of years (they are now 9 and 10 and don't care about that stuff anymore) they had different, theme cakes.

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

My 2 boys are almost exactly 3 years apart in age. their birthdays are the 3rd of January and the 3rd of February. Coming after Christmas it is all a bit much! Up until school age, I would have one party with a cake for each of them...the eldest picked the theme (dinosaurs) and then we had a t-rex cake and a stegosaurus cake. This was nice as friends and family could celebrate both boys on one day which is easier on the scheduling for everyone. No one felt slighted, all had big fun! When they are older it will be more important as they may develop separate groups of friends, but while they're so young, I say combine! I think this is more about what YOU want anyway and you don't need to be hard on yourself! Honestly, when I ask people, most adults don't remember a party before they tuned 7 or 8 anyway! Have fun!

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi GD I 'm going alone with your family. Just combine the two and have a bit of each theme. At their age I don't think they would really know the different. They will be too busy having fun!!!

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D.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi! Our daughters b-days are 3 weeks apart (and only 1 year apart!) As they got older we found they wanted more friends at their parties... and their friends are no longer the same (now 6 and 7 years old) We chose this year to have a separate 'theme' party for each for their friends.. and 1 combined (small) family party. As much as we enjoy the parties as the parents.. it is almost a 'burden' on family to come to kids parties.. so to ask them to come to 2 parties so close together is a bit much... We really got a lot of thank you's this year, from family that they did not have to be at the 'kids' party, but could still celebrate with their family.... hope this helps!!

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V.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi G D
Your Daughters absolutely deserve their own seperate party if you are willing to do that. I completely agree they should each be able to have their own day, theme, cake guests, etc,. This is their one and only special day it should not have to be shared. As for family and friends they simply only want to go to one, if the children were born 6 months apart they would step up and do what's right. Their convience does not trump the fact that they deserve their own day.
I agree completely with you!

Have fun planning your childrens parties!!

V.

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

You can still make it special for each child if you have it together. Sometimes it's easier to have one because everyone is busy getting ready for school,etc. But if you really want two parties then have two parties. Or, have a big bash with jumpy etc because you will save on the expense of food .Whatever you decide it's your decision. have a great time:)

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L.H.

answers from Chicago on

Do one party. Make it a family meal and let the relatives spend quality time. The kids care more about playing and having fun than the relatives anyway. Dual themes work, or choose a common color for big plates and have them pick individual themes for a cake and cake plates. Then have a little celebration on their real birthday. It is hard for family gatherings when they are so close together, and everyone is busy.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I have always had one party for my kids. Of course, with the same birthday no point otherwise. It is not too difficult to have separate themes. I always got one big cake with half decorated with the one theme and the other with the second. For their 4th, we had Spiderman and Hello Kitty. With only girls it could be even easier. You could also get 2 smaller cakes, one for each theme. Then just sing happy birthday to each one. The whole point is to have fun.

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P.M.

answers from Chicago on

If you want each girl to have a separte party, then do a kids only party for the kids in their classes or play group or something like that. I would combine the family party because weekend time is precious and there is so much going on in people's lives that to attent two parties for one family in short span of time even though they love them may seem like an imposition. I've done it that way for my daughter and son who were both born in April.
That being said do what makes you and your girls happy.
Good Luck
Peggy

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

I completely understand wanting to make each b-day special. But your youngest daughter is two and will be happy to be part of the excitement no matter what you decide to do. I think combining the parties would be fine. The only reason your daughters would be upset or disappointed about it is if YOU make it seem like they are missing out on something. My brother and I have birthdays one DAY apart, and we always had a combined 'family' party on the day between our two birthdays. It was fun- and a lot easier for relatives. On our actual birthday we got to have our favorite dinner and do something special that we really wanted to do ( see a special movie, go for ice cream, etc.). But having a party together never took away from our 'specialness'. Later, when we were older, we had separate parties with friends from school, but the family party was always combined.

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L.X.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest separate parties for your girls but realistically two parties is a bit much in such a short period of time. You are making a positive choice while they're still young by treating them as individuals. If your immediate and extended family have busy weekends perhaps a same day party could be beneficial. How about separate theme cakes for each girl? Along with singing happy birthday from the family and both girls having a few of each of their friends at the party each girl will feel like she had a big day.

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think it is up to you. My boys are 6 mos apart- I am trying to figure out a way to have the parties at the same time. My aunt does it with the three girls, their birthdays are Jun, July and August- each girl gets her own cake and each area of the house is separeted by theme -if the girls have different themes. It seems to work for them- but again- its your home and your daughters- no decsion you make is wroing.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

While I agree with all of the ideas (which were wonderful and very creative) I can sympathize with your family wanting one party. I know how busy we are and the time, expense and challenge of getting to two parties so close together can be a burden. You could split the difference, but on their actual birthday make that day all about them...make their favorite food, decorate with their theme, etc. The kids are so young they won't remember and it's about a celebration of life, not the burden of getting to two parties...I hope I'm making sense...running on little sleep. I'm sure whatever you decide the girls will have a blast!

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