Co-sleeping - Culver City,CA

Don't bother with a crib. My son was a co-sleeper by necessity. I transitioned him into his own room and bed by going right to a twin mattress on the floor of his own room. Kept the crib mattress next to it in case I fell asleep when I put him down for the night. Easier on all of us :) Hope that helps!

I'm not a big fan of using a bed or crib, for timeouts. You risk the association of the bed with punishment/discipline. You might consider picking a spot on the floor (we have a rug) to do the time outs. With that said, I see no reason for not getting a bed...if that's what you want to do. With my son we first transitioned him to taking naps in his bed for a few weeks. Then, we moved to nighttime. He didn't have any issues, at all. On the rare occasion he wakes up, he would get out of bed and play. We put a baby gate in his doorway, so he couldn't run all over the house.

My daughter was a co-sleeper since birth. I refused to do cio and knew when she got old enough to understand, I would start putting my foot down on her sleeping in her own bed. This is what I did.

After books, we snuggled for 2 songs (same bedtime CD every night). After that I would sit on floor at foot of bed till she fell asleep. After about a week I changed sitting on floor for about 20 min. After about another week I stopped sitting on the floor. I would answer a few questions she would yell out for a few min. I would tuck her back in twice if she got out. After that I told her I am not talking anymore and if she got out of bed I would close her door (very big thing for her to have her door open). It worked. She would still try and talk to me in the beginning, but when I wouldn't answer, she gave up.

I started this when she was 3. She's a few days away from 5 now and we still do books and snuggles for 2 songs.

If you want your child to sleep in her own bed or crib you have to stop using the crib/bed as punishment. The child will always be reminded of being punished instead of being warm and compfy and safe and will resist to go to sleep there. Find a new and diffrent time out spot and in future use the bed for sleeping only.

You can, opt to have a floor futon/mattress in your room.
An alternative, to actual co-sleeping.
I co-slept with my kids as babies.... then we had this floor futon in our room. The kids can sleep there, if/when need be.
It works for us.

You are still nursing, your Husband has to deal with that.
I nursed my daughter until she self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.
My Hubby... was PROUD of me...and even bragged about it to his friends....
With Our kids.... their crib was in our room. Until they grew out of it. My son grew out of it... when he was already 3 years old.

If your husband wants intimacy... you just go elsewhere in the house.

Kids.... grow fast and one day they will not even want to be near you.

Whether or not your child is in her own room, or in your room... the child (and you), will still wake... at night. AND your Husband should help too.
As the child matures... they will naturally sleep all night, and longer and will not 'need' you.

We had a crib for both our kids and I co-slept. Our kids as babies slept there or with me... but on the floor futon in our room.

all the best,
Susan

My daughter has bed-shared with me since birth... at just over 5 y/o - she is excited and ready to have her own room and her own special bed. Because we allowed her to make the choice on her own, it is more special and much bigger affair because she's made the transition herself. She also self weaned about 4.5 y/o too... so it's doubly a great move forward.

If you are happy with the arrangement and still nursing - there is no reason to create an issue where there isn't one. You need to remind your husband she will only be this small, needy and innocent for such a short period of time - and once it passes, you'll never get that time back. I'm sure he can be an adult about it and do what your child prefers.

You can have sex in tons of other places - maybe you should remind or show him that, since that is probably his motivation for getting her out of your room.

I'd skip the crib and go straight to the toddler bed. Maybe you can have her sleep in your room for awhile until she gets used to the bed?

We moved the kids to a mattress on the floor right beside our bed first...... (We didn't stop co-sleeping until #1 AND #2 were too big for all 4 of us in our queen bed.) So we were able to move them together........ Now we're co-sleeping with #3 who is 4 months old. #1 and #2 are now in a separate room sleeping in the same bed.

using the crib for a time out spot could be problematic - she may think she is in trouble, causing her to get upset, as soon as you put her in it. didn't do yourself any favors with that one. honestly, i agree with hubby. but that's just me. i feel like you may like the idea of putting her in a toddler bed,so you can procrastinate the change for a bit longer. your husband is the other half of that bed (or 1/3, in this case). it's his sleep that's being affected too. i think for respect of your husband and your marriage you should stop this situation. pick a weekend when you have a couple nights you don't have to get up in the morning. and stick to your guns. if it was me, since she already equates the crib with time out, i would go out immediately and get a toddler (or twin) bed and get this done asap. she'll be okay.

I would try the toddler bed in your room first and then eventually to her own room.

Good luck

Its like i could have written your question!, from the age of your girl, to the breastfeeding to how hubbie feels about it. My youngest daughter doesnt have a bed yet (im looking for a day bed with a trundle) Im anticipating having to lay with my daughter for quite some time when i transition her to her own room. As with my oldest (who is now turning 8) she slept exclusively with us during her first two years also. My best advice 9which i am about to partake in again myself) is to lay with your baby and read her a book before bed, stay awhile until she falls asleep and slowly, each week lessen the time you are in there. You are already going to have it easier than me, my daughter will not nap anywhere but directly on me, its very difficult to maneuver around her. My husband is only home 4 nights out of a month, so co sleeping is preferable to me.

Why are you asking a group of strangers for input over the
wishes and thought of your own husband?

We skipped the crib.

Son #1 transitioned to a big-boy platform bed with a slide at age 5. Yeh, we really had to do it up. Took him sheet and bedspread shopping too.

Son #2, we moved into a toddler bed earlier (yay), but he wasn't really happy until he got into a "big boy" bed (with bed rails). Not sure exactly sure when we took down the toddler bed but he was all ready 2 and not yet 2 and half.

If you get a "car bed" or something else he's into, he may be old enough that his excitement over having "his own special" bed does the trick.

I still have one baby in the bed (he moved out of the co-sleeper & into my bed at 8 months too!). I am about done sleeping with babies, but like you, with me being the one working and the one nursing, I just had to do what I was capable of. I do like co-sleeping - I am just tried. BUT, I know this year will go by past. And based upon past experience, somewhere between 18 and 28 months, we'll be able to relocate him.

(I was going to fix all the typos, but since it's from the exhaustion that has me looking forward to him sleeping on his own more, I decided to leave 'em in - personally, I think if YOU are not done co-sleeping, it's not over. Me? After almost 7 years of bed-sharing, I know I am done)

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you have some great advice already so i'll just share my experience:) my now 6 y/o co slept with us until he was 2. he weaned on his own at about 21 months (i was 5 months prego so that helped:). he also despised his crib and never slept in it. also my husband was gone for about 10 months of his 2nd year so the co sleeping worked out perfectly. my husband and i seriously thought he would sleep with us forever. so when he was 2 we got him a twin sized bed w/ a bed rail, let him pick out sheets and put some stickers on the wall. crossed our fingers read him some stories and laid with him until he fell asleep. he has not wanted to sleep in our bed since-who knew!
so i guess my suggestion is to get a twin bed-that way you can lay with her to sleep or if she gets up. and as far as the transition-if it is what you want you may as well try it and see how it goes. good luck to you!

We co-sleep, we had to upgrade to a king size bed for more comfort. We have two in the bed 4 yr and almost 2yr. We have started the process of getting the 4yr into his own bed. We started with a toddler bed in our room but he wouldnt sleep in it. So we got rid of it and got a twin bed. It is on the floor of our room. We give him a treat ($3 toy) if he sleeps in his bed for two days and has been working.
As soon as he is comfortable with sleeping alone his bed it will be moved into his own room. I would switch to a bed(toddler or twin) and take down the crib and start trying to get her into the bed.
I have no regrets in co-sleeping it works for us and thats all that matters. I know a lot of people dont agree in it. But for us getting sleep is more important than where they sleep.

We didn't have a toddler bed, just went to a twin bed at 14 months. For awhile, we just put the mattress on the floor and that worked well. She quickly learned not to "fall out" of it. Then we raised it up. We took turns doing the bedtime story reading and just staying with her in her bed until she fell asleep. A daybed with trundle is one good option to make this easier (and works great for sleepovers or guests later).

Even after she got her own bed, we still co-sleep often, just because we all like it. And having raised two kids into their 20s, we know how fast they grow up.

I agree with your husband. That said, I would try the toddler bed. My boys transitioned to one at 16 months and did fine.

I consulted w/a sleep expert with my babies and here are some suggestions I learned:
1) Do not use the crib for 'time-out's' - the crib should only be associated with sleeping. If you use the crib for time-outs, they may associate the 'crib' as a negative thing (or space). Cribs or beds are for sleeping. There is one particular spot in our house (not around TV or distractions)that I use time-outs for - same space, every time.
2) She recommended the baby/toddler stay in the crib until they are 2 1/2-3 years old. If you read other posts and many threads, most people that put there toddler in a bed under 2 or around 2 have a really hard time with it.
3) Consistency is key for a good sleeper. Same bedtime, same routine, etc.. I am assuming your little one is doing one 2 hr nap/day right now. It should be from 1-3 (no later than 3 or they will have a hard time going to bed) and bedtime around 7-7:30.

Hope this helps and good luck! :)

Here is some co-sleeping info that should give you an idea as how to go about your situation:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/co-sleeping?utm_camp...

You sound exactly like where I was two years ago. Our son slept in the crib until about 8 mo. He started teething and wouldn't sleep through the night. So we took him into our bed "temporarily" because I had to get up at 6:30 for work and could not be up and down all night. Just before he turned two, we transitioned him into a big boy bed (my old queen size from before we were married without the boxspring). We made a big deal about it and he was very excited about having his own bed in his own room. People will tell you that it is really hard to get a kid out of your bed, but the transition for us was sooooo easy. We made it a rule that he got to pick out three books to read and once the books were finished he would stay in bed and fall asleep. The queen bed is great for storytime. I was actually sad that it worked so well because I enjoyed snuggling with my little guy. Now I have his one year old brother in bed with me. My suggestion is to make the new bed as exciting as possible. Maybe get a bedspread with a character that he loves. My sons favorite Christmas present was a new Toy Story comforter. He is very proud showing off his room to his friends.

The best thing to do is to get a toddler bed. It prepares for later, helps to transition from the crib and it gives you a little space to sleep as well while nursing her since you work.

Nurse her in her room or try to wean her. If you start putting her to bed in her room and slowly get her used to the idea of her own space, then you can sneak out when she falls asleep. It gets her out of your bed and into hers.

It will take some time for her to readjust to the new routine, so be patient. Hope it works out for you.

We started transitioning into a toddler bed around 2, my husband felt the same way. =) We kept the bed in our room and she started the night in her bed. She still end up in our bed by morning @ 5 am, and she is almost 4, but she doesn't try to push out dad anymore... I have also seen people put the three sided toddler bed next to their bed so they are still co-sleeping, but the kids aren't kicking you any more... =)
rood luck!
R.

I'd skip the crib, too and go straight to the toddler bed. Actually, I didn't use toddler beds for any of my kids, they went from crib to twin bed at 2yo. I nursed my youngest, who is 26 months, until his second birthday. I was in the same position as you. Letting him co-sleep more than I wanted to because he was nursing and because I work and was too exhausted most nights to go back and forth or let him cry it out. Eventually, though, I just had to suck it up and go with even less sleep so he would be ready to transition to his twin bed and stop nursing. I gave him a 2 month time period to get used to everything. 2 months before his birthday I stopped letting him co-sleep. If he did wake up during the night I would nurse and put him back in the crib, but most nights I tried to let him soothe himself back to sleep without nursing. Then, with 1 month to go I eliminated all nursing except at bedtime. Two weeks before his birthday, I had him nap in the twin bed on the weekends. And then a week before, he began to sleep in there, still with the bedtime nursing. On his birthday he nursed for the last time and transitioned to both the twin bed and being weaned perfectly. (His transition was also easy because sleeping in the twin bed also means sharing a bedroom with his brother, which he loves.)

I second the comment about using the crib for a timeout. Although now that my son doesn't sleep there anymore, I can use it to threaten him when he won't stop jumping on his bed at bedtime :)

We didn't co-sleep, but we have just transitioned my 2.5 to a bed from her crib. We first took the rail off making it a "toddler" type bed but she wouldn't stay in and patting her back on the floor beat me down! So, we got her a full sized bed and it has been WONDERFUL. She sleeps longer (I think because she has more room) and when she is sick, I can lay next to her instead of on the floor. Since you have slept with your daughter so long, I'd consider getting a bed you can still snuggle with her.

My now two year old, had a horrible time in her crib when she was little! She hated it and wouldn't sleep in it. We co-slept with her until i had her brother when she was 15 mths. Then he had the crib (well kinda, he slept in a bassenet in our room until he got too big for it...3 mths, i nursed him until i couldnt keep up with his needs...about 6mths..hes a monster!) Back to my daughter she started sleeping in her own room at about 2 yrs. We got her a full size twin bed put railings on it and she usually does pretty well. By well i mean she comes into our room at around 2 am and sleeps the remainder of the night with us. Its a slow process but we are working on it. Whenever she sleeps the whole night in her own bed we make a big deal about it and makes sure she knows it was a "big girl" for sleeping the whole night in her room.
Way to go for nursing her as long as you have, however at this time it might help to start weaning her off a little at a time, so seperation isnt so dramatic.
Best of Luck to you.