Co-sleepers -- Your Experience

I co-slept with my twins from the time they were about 3 months to 2 years. I didn't want anything traumatic for them, so we bought a bed and put it in their room and I would go to sleep with them there. I started leaving after they were sleeping and going to my room, when/if they woke up I'd go back. They are in kindergarten now and my one son is fantastic, goes to sleep on his own and sleeps through the night. My other one, I have to sit at the bottom of his bed for him to fall asleep (only takes 5 min.) and then he usually wakes at least once in the middle of the night and calls for me. Sometimes I have to sit with him and othertimes he'll go back to sleep. A lot depends on personality how it will go. I was not willing to make them cry it out or anything harsh. I have #3 on the way and this baby will sleep in a co-sleeper for a few months, but I plan to transition to a crib in my room at that time, then move the crib to his room.
Good luck!

I ended it when my daughter was 8 years old. LOL Just remember they grow up and i didn't have a problem with her sleeping with my husband and me and i have 2 more sleeping with us now.
jade

Hi L., We did it up until age 2 with both of our kids and it just took its natural course. We loved it and highly recommend it. Most countries around the world practice "the family bed." You will know when it is time to switch course! It made for easier breast-feeding, lots of snuggles and I actually slept longer than if I had had to get up in the night.

Hiya, I co-slept w/ my son for a year--poor daddy was on his own :( Now he's nearly 3 and he will typically come into our room anywhere between 4AM and 8AM. We love it, though. We all wake up snuggling and then chatting. It's a great way to start the day (most days, anyway!).

He NEVER slept in crib and nursed every 2 hrs for nearly a year, so we (my son and I) ended up in the guest room bed so that I could sleep--and daddy could sleep. Our transition was me moving back into the master suite. it was relatively painless, except that our son comes in every AM. My hub works a lot, so it is really good quality time for them.

hope this helps some.

We let ours run its course. The snuggles are nice, but the kicks not so much. Our crib converts into a small bed, which we kept in our room. Over the course of 2 months, she went from coming into our bed to sleeping in her own all night. I know we slept better, but noticed she did as well.

We had just moved from overseas so when our things [finally] arrived, we were able to set up her room properly. The transition was so easy. She was completely ready and so excited. She rarely came into our room after that and now it is special when we all snuggle at night.

We co-sleep with our other daughter now. There is some jealousy and this experience has been different (light sleeper). We are hoping for the girls to share a room by Christmas. So far it is just a game. I normally put her to sleep in our bed and then move her later. It seems to work. We devote more time at the weekends and keep it light during the week. Hope this helps. Good on you for providing your son some extra comfort and best of luck!

Dear L.,
Like you, we never "intended" to co-sleep. In fact, it wasn't until my son was out of his crib & into the "big boy" bed that we did. Even then, it was mainly b/c my husband drives truck for a living & doesn't get to spend much time with us durin the week. My son is now 5 1/2, and even now the only way we redirect him back to his own bed is with the reminder that if he wants to have his chocolate milk in the morning (as opposed to "plain" milk) he has to sleep in HIS bed, not ours.
If you feel "stuck" now, then I would work on finding a solution that you can live with ASAP. I say this mainly b/c we found ourselves frustrated, not getting decent sleep, and VERY irritable as a result of our indecision & inconsistency for several months.
Also, my daughter is 19 months & still in a crib. We will NOT repeat this with her, mainly b/c we've finally begun to enjoy sleeping all night as a couple again. (Our son is also a tossing, turning bed-hog. Unfortunately, he also does a 180 in the bed sometimes, and my has been kicked in the head, neck, face, chest, etc. as a result.)
Good luck with breaking the cycle! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE snuggling with my son, which we now do at bedtime in HIS room for a few minutes, before turning off the main lights & turning on his sound machine. :)

HI L.
First of all I think co-sleeping happens much more than parents realize and much more than people are willing to talk about. Wehad this experience with our son. It was the ONLY, read only, way I could get him to sleep any significant amount of sleep when he was first born. I even tried the ARm's Reach but if he snuggled with me we could easily sleep through the night. I loved it. His father was much more eager to get him on his own. He started sleeping on his own around 14 months...it could have happened a lot ealier but I was so anxious that we would all be upall night that I waited and waited. He went to stay with his grandparents for a few days and we suggested they put him to sleep in his pack and play, which they did. It worked and we keep that up when he came home, putting him in his pack and play at the end of our bed. One night I just tried to put him in his crib and it was totally fine. I should mention that he would fall asleep with me or his daddy first and we would put him down already asleep. Also, the crib was in our bedroom too. A lot of times he would wake up and I woul talk soothingly to him without getting upor picking him up and usually within less than 10 minutes he would fall back asleep. By 16-17 months I was able to just put him in his crib (awake around his bedtime), leave the room and know he'd fall asleep on his own.

My pediatrician always said it would run it's course and it sort of did. I ended up loving having my son in bed with me. He is well-adjusted (so far, anyway) and we have a great bond. Good luck!

I coslept with all of my children to some extent. WIth my daughter, she slept with me from the beginning. She nursed until she was just over 2, so co-sleeping was a God-send, but after she was weened, it pretty much ran it's course, with a little help. I rocked her to sleep, just like I did when she nursed, then I put her in her bed. When she'd wake up, I would go to her instead of bringing her to me. It worked great, and now she sleeps in her bed all the time, unless she is sick, I bring her in with me. (She is the kind of kid that needs mom constantly when she is not feeling well.) Now that she is 4, I kind of miss it.

Hey there L.,

I have to admit it I have been there as well. I have a 3 and 5 year old. There fine now, thank goodness. But when my first was an only child he would want to come in and sleep with us all the time and he was like a fish out of water in the bed. We were definetly lacking sleep during these long months. However, I finally put an end to it. It took about 3 nights of screaming and crying (me feeling horribly guilty) and he was fine. The get into a comfort zone where they do as there used to. Change is hard for them like anyone but once you make that change usually there fine. Like I said it takes a few hard nights but that is the only way to break it now. Trust me you don't want a 3 year old laying in between you and your husband years from now. So if you don't break that habit, it will come back to haunt you later.

Oh, when you put him in his crib and he's crying and upset you just need to check on him every now and then. Or you could stay in the room with him and face the opposite direction so there is no eye contact. Each night move further and further out of the room and you will see. It works wonders!

Good Luck

A. P
http://www.healthandwealthdna.com

We co slept with our daughter because it was the only way either of us could get any sleep(we worked nights). Also because we stayed with my mom when we had her, the crib was in the same room. She too was a bed hog and still is sometimes. Once we moved into our home, she was about 2 (i think) we bought her a toddler bed and had to sleep in her room a couple of times until she fell alseep but she liked the fact she had a bed. No your not stuck you are going to have to easily transistion him. Good Luck

You need to ask yourself if this bothers you or not because there is the VERY real possibility of this going on for a long time. My son would sleep with me every night until he was 6...he is 7 now and still comes in every morning around 5 am. If this bothers you, now is the time to nip it in the bud. Belive me it gets harder as they get a little older.

Good luck

My daughter was 5 when she decided she would like to sleep in her own bed. She stays in her bed most nights but will occasionally, come back to our bed b/c of bad dreams or comfort.

Hang in there.

L.

probably not too helpful. but I found that it comes and goes. You can work for weeks getting them into their crib or bed, then inevitably they'll get sick and just to function you'll bring them back in and start all over again.
At 5 my oldest gets about a 20 min snuggle in his bed, then i leave and he is usually good for the night. except he waits 5 mins then gets up to go to the bathroom. but at least he gets right back into bed with out my help.

It was super hard, but i couldn't stand the crying so i usually ended up sleeping on the floor of my kids rooms, usually holding their hand through the crib slats and then gradually moved inches away.

Have you read any of Elizabeth Pantley's work??? The NO Cry Sleep solution. she also has a website. I feel that she is very respectful of the child and the family as a whole, presenting options so you can choose what works for you.

Good luck and enjoy the cuddles while you can get them, it really does pass quickly.

Hi L.. We found ourselves in the same situation with our son. We started by putting him in a toddler bed at 18 months and we bought a video monitor to make sure he didn't fall out of bed. He never fell out and he liked it better than his crib. We also put a baby gate in his door so he couldn't wander around the house at night. Then we let him cry it out after reading his books and tucking him in, which is heart-breaking but the crying eventually got better. It actually worked for a little over a year until he watched Monsters, Inc. and became scared of his closet and insisted on sleeping in our bed again. So, when he was almost three and a half we moved his bedroom into another room and gave him a full size bed. This did the trick because we were able to lie down with him at night until he was asleep. We've gradually gotten to the point that we can leave when he's still awake and he falls asleep on his own listening to music. It's a long process, but you'll get there!

I am in a slightly similar situation, although my guy is only 7mos. When he was brand new, I always kept him in my bed because I was nursing, and that's all he did! :) Once he got to about 4 months or so, and would NOT sleep in his basinette, I started putting him in his crib for naps first. It took a while, and then I moved to the crib for bedtime as well. I really couldn't do it til he started sleeping better (which felt like FOREVER), so when I did I was nervous. Now he sleeps in the crib for all naps, and at night until about 5am when he wakes up to nurse. So I finally got my bed back for me and DH! :) I would just start slow, maybe with naps first. Then really talk up the whole "sleeping like a big boy" thing, and maybe use stickers as a reward chart?? Good luck! :)

For some kids letting it run its natural course won't take long, and for others, they'll be 4-5 years old incapable of feeling at peace sleeping on their own. Some kid will suddenly feel like sleeping alone, some will get more and more dependent as time goes on.
If you want your son to feel confident, secure, and happy to fall asleep on his own, you just have to remember your goal, and get through the hard adjustment now that his habit is formed. Stand firm for his own good and yours, or keep on sharing a bed!

Be firm with the new system of going to bed and staying in his own bed. He's only one, so this entails letting him cry in his crib after a nice loving day and sweet bedtime routine. He may fight it for quite a while, he's been taught to feel secure by having other people with him. Be confident, patient, firm and consistent. It may take days, it may take weeks. When he learns you never cave, he'll give up and start liking going to bed on his own. Make sure his belly is full and he's tired at night from exercise etc. so there is as little fight in him as possible. GOOD LUCK!!!

I feel your pain! We started co-sleeping with our daughter when she was 8 months old and it lasted until she was about 15 months. Although she still comes into our bed early in the morning (and sometimes sooner.) But we put an end to full-blown co-sleeping by buying a tiny toddler bed and putting its mattress on our floor. We laid down by her and got her to sleep and when she woke up in the middle of the night we let her come into our bed. Then we put the mattress into the bed after she got comfortable with the mattress, and then we moved it into her room. We took it gradual and it seemed to work. But at the time, I remember feeling like it would never end. Have a plan, stick to it, and she will eventually get out. I have another daughter now and she has never been allowed in our bed. I guess you can say we learned our lesson!

.

L.
I have 3 children 5 1/2, 2 1/2, and 2 months and they were all co sleepers. with my 1st, it didnt begin until after age 1 and by age 3 he was fully sleeping back in his room. my 2nd she is still in and out of our bed, and my 3rd is the one who sleeps next to my bed in a co-sleeper crib, but usually ends up in the bed due to me nursing. you hear both sides from people, its not good, but in my opinion and experience, it has not been a bad experience. my oldest is now in kindergarten and sleeps really well in his own room. they are only babies once and if you get the opportunity to cuddle for a little longer there is nothing wrong with it. it just has to be ok with you, its whatever works for you and your mate. i know that if they are sleeping with me, i am sleeping better and so are they and in the end we all need sleep. they grow out of it at some point, what we did for son and daughter was put a toddler bed in our room, so they start out in there and eventually climb into our bed, its a great transisiton to get them into their own bed. hope this helps!

A.

We partial co-slept meaning that I would put her down in her crib and when she woke up at whatever time, I would bring her in bed with us and would nurse her and she would fall back to sleep. That worked until she was about 19 months old then enough was enough. I work full time and I wasn't getting enough rest nor was the baby. I resorted to the CIO method and within a week she was sleeping like a champ. I continued to nurse for another month or so but eventually she lost interest. Now at 26 months old, she asks for her "cribby". Now that I'm getting a full night of sleep I feel like a new person and our baby is also rested, happy and well adjusted.

I hear so many people say that its a bad thing to have your baby cosleep with you. I love it. I slept in my mom's bed until I was about nine and then I just stopped. When I'm home, I'll still sneak in her bed :-) It maybe different because I'm a single mommy and I'm away from my daughter for a week at a time. I think it will run its course and one day you'll be all misty eyed because he's not in the bed. As far as the kicks, I don't even feel them anymore!

In all honesty.....My three year old co slept with me from day one till about 5 months ago off and on.....she would sometimes go to sleep in my bed, or hers.....depended....Now, I seriously miss the cuddles, and the surprise good mornings that I used to get.....She does not sleep with me now. When daddy has to go away or when we have a movie night, she sleeps with me....I call it sleep over.....LOL....enjoy it.....it will end for good soon

HAH! I didn't plan on it either! LOL But I had a preemie who needed to nurse every hour and it was just easier to keep him in our bed.

That preemie is now 8! He does sleep in his bed now. Probably started about a year ago...maybe a little more. He does still end up in my bed in the morning. But this is because his father gets up early for work and Christian hears him and comes and snuggles with me for a few hours.
My daughter is 3 and has no intentions of leaving us anytime soon. I like her where she is. Soon enough, she won't want anything to do with us. I can get all the loving and snuggling I want!

There are many people who co sleep. Just not many who admit to it. We Americans have made this such a bad thing to do and it really isn't. People all over the world do it.

Do what you feel is best. If your son sleeping in your bed doesn't bother you, just leave him where he is. He will be out of it soon enough.