Clothing Issue with a Five Year Old Girl?

She is old enough to understand time limits. I would tell her that she needs to have her clothes chosen the night before. (We always had the kids do this before bath/shower while they were getting their pjs out.) You could make her limit be by bedtime or before dinner or whatever. Just pick a time and stick with that time. If she can't choose you can help by picking 2 outfits and giving her the choice from those. Whatever she chooses is what she wears.

Talk to her about the new "rule" at a time when you aren't choosing clothes and a time that she's not worried about choosing clothes, so she can hear what you're saying without emotions racing through her mind instead.

I don't mean to sound critical but I think you're over thinking it... I thought it was going to be some kid of sensory question, like, my daughter hates sock seams or can't stand tags. This seems like a phase or indecision and not a huge deal. Set a boundary for her and don't get into all of the emotional indecision of what she wears... it's just an outfit.

We all have difficulty when faced with too many choices. Here is a very interesting talk by a researcher who studies this issue: http://www.ted.com/talks/sheena_iyengar_choosing_what_to_...

No one in Kindergarten will care if she did wear the same thing every day. She has too many clothes. "She has a closet and drawers FULL of adorable age appropriate clothes, Gymboree, Gap, Children's Place, etc..." Put away, sell, or give away anything that she hasn't chosen to wear very recently. Keep only clothes that are very simple, comfortable, and matching.

My daughter has some sensory issues, but then so do I so I can relate. At Kindergarten, my she had about 5 outfits TOTAL, maybe six. This would get her through a school week without laundry, possibly. All she wore were cotton stretch pants and T-shirts (short sleeved or long depending on the weather) from Target or Kohls. One "hoodie" for cool days, one jacket for spring/fall, and one winter coat. One pair of sneakers, one pair of sandals, and one pair of snow boots (not needed in CA, I know).

My work wardrobe consists of two black pant suits, about five tops, two black sweaters, two dresses. I've added a few pairs of shoes lately, just for fun, but that's about it. Why? Because I have the same issues with choosing clothes, and changing my mind because something doesn't "feel right" in the morning.

I totally get what you're saying. And yes, I truly think she has too many choices and therefore is overwhelmed with what to do.

I, too, am a perfectionist (among other issues; was on medication) and some days I get so overwhelmed with what needs to be done, I end up doing nothing. I actually tell my kids to pick something that needs to be done so that will be my goal for the day.

Maybe you could narrow down her choices by moving the bulk of her stuff to another closet so she wouldn't even see them - but you'd still be able to rotate some outfits.

Definitely have stuff picked out the night before and just be very firm with her that she cannot change her mind in the morning or you'll send her to school in her pj's. That was about the only thing that worked with my daughter!!!

Good luck!!!

ETA: M., your SWH was one of the best I've read in a while! (Usually, posters get yelled at. :) ) I'm so glad some of us could help and give you ideas. And you know, if you really like to pick up those fifty-cent items at garage sales, do so-- and then donate them to a women's transitional housing/shelter which serves women and their families. Those children--boys and girls--are in desperate need of 'nice' clothes...some of them leave their homes with next to nothing.... Good luck on this new way of doing things!

Mama, time to take control.

When you shop, pick out her clothes for her. Kids are very mercurial and will like something one day and reject it the next--- even favorite things. This way, you will not be frustrated with her not wanting to wear clothing she's chosen. (By the way, I don't remember getting to choose any clothes until I was about 8 or so, so this may be more than she can deal with.)

If it were me in this situation, I would have her do one of the following:
1.Pick out the following day's clothes EARLY the day before. Before bedtime, before dinner if possible. This is to avoid any 'prolonging bedtime' situations and frankly, by the end of the day, none of us are at our best.

2. Have her pick out the outfit and wear it to bed in lieu of pajamas. It's already on, no fussing in the morning. Even if it's wrinkled, it's not a big deal. She'll wake up dressed and you will avoid a conflict you don't want to have. (I let my son do this, by the way, and it works wonders!)

Here's the thing: adults sometimes have perceptions about things that children simply do not have. Pretend her closet is a well-stocked pantry... you are likely not going to be in the mood for everything in that pantry all the time. I say this lovingly, but kids are weird (from our perspective) when it comes to clothing. My son will pick out fleece sweatpants on an 80 degree day because that's what he 'wants' when he looks in his drawers.

If you think your daughter has too many clothes, then pare down. I like the idea of offering two choices, personally, for tops or bottoms. Kids don't really need more than 6 of anything if we're doing laundry often enough. Some kids do want to wear the same thing daily, and sometimes that means buying two of something, sometimes that means they must cooperate and change into other clothes earlier in the day so what they are wearing can be washed. Considering she's going into kindergarten, which is a big unknown, I would choose the option that works for both of you in regard to autonomy for her and a certain level of housework for you.

Lastly, just because I noticed this in your post, be sure to find other things about your daughter to enjoy besides her being cute, and share them with friends. Too often, girls are raised with an inescapable emphasis on 'looks'. I'm not saying that you, personally, are going overboard, but when we used to get a lot of 'he's so cute' comments about our son, I tried to change those conversations to reflect areas *he* was proud of: his interests, progress or accomplishments. Here's something from Mama's On Call worth reading... it might be worth sharing with family that dotes on your little girl.

http://mamasoncall.com/2012/06/how-to-talk-to-girls/

I REALLY like what GrammaRocks and Hazel have said (minus the going to bed in the outfit... not all outfits are THAT comfortable and able to be worn to bed)

SINCE she has so many clothes, you can keep them as outfits all the time. meaning, put them away as outfits... as in hang them up together or fold them together... THAT would make it easier for you and her.

As far as her wearing the same thing everyday, that's an EASY fix. Remove clothes that are dirty or that have been worn more than twice... just remove it from choice for a week or longer... For "laundry day", and if you have frequent "laundry day"s then you can keep the over-used clothes with you until you find it appropriate to put it back into the choosing selection.

NOW, picky or not, indecisive or not, you MUST be firm about the amount of time she takes with the clothes. 5 minutes MAX (or whatever time you are comfortable with). If she doesn't dress herself by then, you will choose the outfit, and THAT'S FINAL, she HAS to wear it. You are giving her FAR too much control on that.

I honestly do NOT think it is too many choices that is overwhelming her (I say this because I have FOUR girls, and "too many choices" has NEVER been close to an issue, and LET ME TELL YOU how many pieces of clothing they have! GEESH! Especially my youngest- she gets a lot of clothes passed down to her by her older sisters, and then of course she gets new clothes as well, she's 4)... deep down, it really sounds like a control issue. Something she chose to have control over. It isn't BAD that she controls a thing or two when it comes to taking care of herself, but when it gets to the point of taking SO long and not being cooperative with YOU, THAT is a big "no-no', and that is where the line needs to be drawn. All kids must maintain respect for their parents.

You are right in thinking that this is not about clothes. It's about control. I have a 6 year old boy who has a tendency to procrastinate to try and control his situation. Your post sounds very familiar to me.
We dress him at night, but there is still the matter of shoes and a sweatshirt or coat. We informed him that we are leaving at a certain time and if he is not ready he will leave for school in the state his is in. Yes, we had to make good on that promise a couple of times last year!

I would let her wear the same thing as long as it's appropriate for the weather or event and is clean. Or I'd let her wear whatever she wants, even if it's stripes and plaid.

Think about how you have presented the clothing. My SD was in a private school through K. Then finances changed and she had to change schools to one without a uniform. DH asked his ex to go over matching with SD and the way it was presented (with a poster and everything) made SD so nervous she must have asked me to approve her first day outfit 15 times. She was so scared not to match. Fortunately she got to school and realized 6 yr olds don't know how to match in general and loosened up. But it makes me wonder how the clothes are presented to your DD. Maybe instead of focusing on matching or having the perfectly coordinated outfit, look up the weather with her. "DD, it says it's going to be chilly today. So what's good to wear when it's cold out?"

You might also flat-out ask her why it's such a big deal. She may have an answer that surprises you.

The other thing about too much stuff (in general) is that you stop appreciating it. When my SD had a ton of CDs and went shopping every other weekend, she had no appreciation for what she had at home. So rather than get every cute outfit you see, consider what she really NEEDS and only get a few things that she'll really like and want to wear.

Oh, and if this behavior makes you late, then take something she wants - like play time or bed time. When the older kids made us late in the AM (missed the bus, etc) then they had to go to bed that much earlier the next night.

My answer is two-fold and it involves you taking control. She may feel this is an area she has control of in her life, but she really doesn't as she has so much trouble making a choice. If, and I say this only because you mentioned that you take medication for it, she continues to have a problem seek professional help for her, there's no shame in that for anyone.

1) Move her clothing elsewhere, to your room, the garage, as long as it is out of her room. When it's time to pick an outfit she gets 2 choices, A or B. If she throws a fit tell her than you will pick out her outfit, you don't have time to argue. (And, yes, do this at night.) If she has soccer the next day she picks that outfit out as well. Do it right before bedtime so it doesn't go on for hours, it's "Time to do it, it's time for bed." And if she can't say, "OK, time for bed," and pick the outfit out on your own. Since she likes having her nails painted, accessories, etc., not having those things can be her consequences for not being agreeable if she has a tantrum.

2) 5 1/2 is too young to be a diva and having you spend money on clothing she later decides she doesn't like, go to basics and not the matching Gymboree outfits. (I buy there and at Crazy 8 and love their clothing, but stopped buying things at either store for one of my granddaughters who would do the same as your daughter.) Buy tops and bottoms that coordinate to give her several options, aim for things like the ones she likes and would wear every day. Pick 5 or 6 bottoms, skirts, skorts, leggings, jeans, etc., in solids. Get 8 or so tops that have different colors in them so they'll go with 2, 3 or more of the bottoms so she'll always be coordinated. This should be plenty as long as you wash once a week. Oh, and YOU pick out the clothing you buy, not her. She lost that privilege by changing her mind all the time.

Well it COULD be a sensory issue. Or not. It doesn't really sound like it. That's when certain fabrics and textures are constrictive, scratchy, etc.
Have you tried just telling her to go get dressed, we are leaving in x minutes?
I don't think I ever helped any of my kids pick out their outfits, once they could dress themselves.
Sure there were times I cringed inside (seriously, a tye die tee with Vans and a tutu?) but unless we were going skiing what did it matter? And so what if she wants to wear the same thing every day, she's a kid, she doesn't care.
Try letting her figure it out, without your advice, and see how it goes. If she says mommy what do YOU want me to wear, just smile and say, whatever you want, and MEAN IT, don't give her looks or make comments. Don't feed her drama.
And when it comes to optional things like soccer practice, if she's not dressed, she doesn't go, period.
Nip the "diva" behavior in the bud before it gets worse (And I promise, it will!)
ETA: and yes, limit her choices. A kid doesn't really need more than 7 to 10 days worth of clean clothes anyway. Put the rest away and rotate it in and out.

My first thought reading your post was, the girl has too many clothes.
It's just too much for her to decide. Even when you choose 3 and she has to pick from one of those.
I would thin out her wardrobe and then switch the choosing thing up a bit. What would happen if instead of having her choose one of the three you set out, she wore them ALL, but got to choose which one was for today, tomorrow and the next day?

If she has too many (and it really sounds like she might) she doesn't want to NOT wear any of them. So she knows that if she doesn't pick THIS one, she might not see it again for a while...because you're gonna pull out 3 NEW choices tomorrow. Is that how it works? Maybe I guessed wrong on that... but that's what I would probably have done, so I am thinking maybe you do too.
Weed through. Then let her choose which days for all three outfits. When she gets to the 3rd day, you can add 2 more outfits to the mix (so she still isn't stuck HAVING to wear that one last outfit, if she just really doesn't like it)... and see what happens.

Okay. Here's what you do. I did this and it totally changed my granddaughter's morning behavior.

I love the classes we took in Love and Logic. Natural consequences teach much better than any punishment we could come up with.

If you take too long to get ready when the bell goes off you have to wear what you have on. Even if it's nothing at all.

My granddaughter took nearly an hour to pick out her clothes. I caught myself telling her the same things every morning but she knew I was not going to do them to her.

Well, I got to thinking about it and I decided to do something concrete. I thought about what 2 choices I could give her that I would be okay with her choosing either one.

I told her that she needed to be ready by the time the alarm on my phone played "You Raise Me UP" or she was going to have to wear what ever she had on to school. The alarm rang in 10 minute intervals. She knew how much time she had.

Finally the alarm went off and I went and literally picked her up and said let's go, it's time to be in the van. She still had on her night shirt but no pants. Just underwear. She got sat on the deck by the van and I told her to get in. She picked clothes I would not let her normally wear but if that's what she wanted to wear then so be it. It was time to leave. She was fighting tooth and nail to get back inside so no one would see her but I made her stand out there for a few minutes. I explained to her that this was it. Tomorrow the alarm would go off and she would be sat in the van and taken to school.

She has been ready every time since. It may be harsh to you but the consequence of not being ready on time is to have to go in what you have on when it's time to leave. That's a natural consequence.

Try it. I used our deck. No one could actually see her. She was pretty protected from the street or any neighbors windows. She was not naked.

So she learned I meant business and she learned she might feel pretty embarrassed if she didn't get dressed on time.

I suggest you allow 2 outfits and that's it. If she decides to change her mind tell her to pick one of them. If she doesn't she has to wear what you pick out. Then when she lets you do that pick out miss matched clothes that do not look good together. Even mix different seasons. Like pick out a winter coat and a pair of pajama bottoms. Tell her to get dressed then leave the room. Set a timer and tell her she has 5 minutes. Let her learn to get dressed on time.

I don't know....this seems like a lot of stress over a small thing. What I would do is limit the choices in her room to 7 outfits - you can rotate them every week or so. Then, when it's time for HER to choose her clothes (whether in the morning or the night before) set a timer. If she will not choose clothes to wear that she's happy with before the timer dings (say, 6 minutes), then she MUST wear what YOU choose. You can set out the 'default' outfit first so she has more incentive (or she can choose it if she wants).

Another approach you can try is letting her wear the same thing every day. Make sure it's clean, but really....who cares?

First thing I thought of was to have a set of "school clothes." Get the solid color shirts & khakis that schools use as student uniforms. She will have to wear the same outfit every day to school!

Maybe let her choose cute outfits at other times when you aren't in such a hurry. When she is able to choose in a timely manner for those, then allow her to try picking out her clothes for school.

I went through a bit of this with my first daughter. I soon learned my lesson. I don't buy very many clothes for my kids now. I have 4 so you only get clothes when you need them. It was so nice this year when I purchased new tennis shoes for three of the kids and they were overjoyed and wanted to wear them as soon as they got out of the store. They have cleaned them each night and placed them by their beds.

I would set clothes aside that are just for school. I would even go so far as to set aside 5 sets of clothes and tell her these are this weeks outfits.

In the future I wouldn't take her shopping for clothes. Don't buy her any new clothes until she absolutely needs them and then present them to her as if they are a gift.

The first thing that I thought when I read this is that she has sensory issues with clothes. That's the first go-to for this problem. Then I read you say that you have perfectionistic issues you take medication for. I think that changes the picture some.

Still, I would recommend that you take her to an OT for an evaluation. Choose an OT who has specific experience working with sensory problems - it's a master's level study and you want someone with experience - not a newbie.

Now I'd like to talk about something else. From the contents of your child's closet, YOU sound like quite the clothes horse. I say YOU because her closet is a reflection of you and what you want her to be. You say that you aren't buying clothes EXCESSIVELY for her, but the term "excessive" is a subjective term.

Honestly? I think you should gut her entire closet.

She cannot make up her mind because you have too many choices for her. They are overwhelming. She uses her closet to fight with you and to fight with herself. I hate to think of what she's going to be like as a teen if you don't get this handled by then. I do think that an OT can help to a degree. But her access to this huge selection of clothes needs to be changed before she will stop this stuff.

Do it before kinder starts, or she will be late every day. Only 3 of each category of clothes. That's it. That means you wash clothes twice a week. Stop buying ANY clothes until she grows out of everything. If she grows out of something she has now, quietly replace it with something similar that is larger. She will likely have tantrums - too bad. Let her. Tell the teacher what is going on if you have trouble getting her to school. The teacher can play the bad guy by telling her that she needs to put her clothes on in the morning and get to school on time.

There is no reason to allow your daughter's life to be ruled by clothes, Mom. You should practice selective purchasing for her IN TOTAL because she appears to have a personality that dwells on excess. You can turn this around in her if you start now.

I hope you will do this.

Dawn

I've got it easy, as my Kindergartener will be wearing a uniform every day. But, if I were in your shoes I'd do the following:

Sunday afternoon (not evening, because it could take too long) - work with her to pick out all 5 outfits for the week (M-F). You could get one of those organizers that hang in the closet and hold each day's clothing on a separate shelf. The choices made on Sunday are FINAL. So, pick 1 warm weather & 1 cooler weather outfit for each day (not really for now, but as the fall comes and you have some warm days and other chillier days).

Hope this helps!

My dd goes through these phases. I warn her ahead of time that if she agrees to certain clothes, there's no going back. She'll have another chance to pick the next day. We pick out clothes the night before...Sometimes I call her bluff and say "Come up here so we can fight about what you're going to wear tomorrow"....you'd think that would agitate her, but she thinks it's funny and it diffuses the situation.

Usually I show her one choice at a time, not three together. So I'll pull out one outfit and say, "how about this?"

Then I pull out the next one, "how about this? etc. etc.

She'll usually reluctantly agree to one of them and I remind her, there's no going back.

Have you noticed if the clothes she ends up not liking are polyesters or scratchy materials. Ask her if the clothes feel uncomfortable. Children who are sensitive to textures tend to be picky about their clothes. Soft cotton is a great choice if it's the texture that is bothering her. Limiting the choices like you mentioned is good too. Maybe asking what color she would like to wear tomorrow, then having her pick 2 outfits in that color and then do the eeny, meeny minny mo game (sure I didn't spell that right). Or telling her " you are very capable of making this decision on all by yourself and as soon as you have picked out your outfit for tomorrow you can do ........"what ever it may be that she is wanting to do. Have fun with it though what ever you choose, if it becomes a power struggle it could make it last longer. Oh and don't worry if her outfit doesn't match, at least at first. Just be happy she picked it out by herself. Good luck!

I feel your pain, because your story summed up a lot of what is going on with my daughter and I right now. She also just turned 5 and is starting K. I do like the clothes at places like Gymboree and similar, because they are do darn cute, you can mix and match, and they are well made - they don't just fall apart after 2 washings. I will pick up clothes for her 2 to 3 times a year for the season, or try to get stuff on sale 1 size bigger for next year. But my daughter has sometimes been overwhelmed by too many choices - it's like she realizes that by picking outfit A, she is giving up outfit B. And sometimes she wants some crazy combination, or insists on jeans and a sweatshirt in 90 degree weather.

I would start with paring down the outfits she has to choose from take half of the stuff out and rotate. Start by asking if she wants a dress today, or t-shirt and shorts. Sometimes with my daughter I have to flat-out tell her, "You have dance class after school and we are going straight there so you need to just wear something you can dance in today (i.e. t-shirt and leggings)." We do try to pick out something the night before and I let her know she can pick, but Mommy has the right to say no if it's not going to work weather-wise. And I have told her that once something is chosen, that's it - no changing our minds. When it's been an issue in the morning, I do tell her that I will take her to school in her pajamas, or her underwear, if she can't get it together and get some clothes on, because we are running out of time. That does get her laughing and I've never had to do it (though I would!) and seems to snap her out of her whining while getting her to finally comply. I don't usually take her clothes shopping with me because she will want everything she sees, and there have been times she picks something out, says she loves it, and then never wears it.

Make sure too that you are not setting up your daughter to A) just think of herself as pretty and her self-worth lies in her appearance and what she happens to be wearing and B) get caught up in mass consumerism and thinking that material things like clothing are more important than anything else.

Fortunately, we are going to private school for K, which means uniforms! Looking forward to a lot less battles over clothes!

This doesn't sound like a clothing issue at all to me. Two things.

One, it sounds like your daughter has your number. She gets that the clothing issue pushes your buttons, and as kids will do, she's milking it for all it's worth. The issue is, I think, that you are allowing her to milk it. Do not let her take 30 minutes to decide what to wear. Tell her that you need to leave at x time, and that she'll be getting in the car at that time, regardless of what she is or is not wearing. And then follow through. I only needed to do this a couple of times with my boys until they got that I was serious: I would take them to school in their pajamas. If you can't bear to actually put her in the car in her PJs, then do this. You select two outfits and she can pick one - or mix and match if she likes, but she must choose from the items that you have selected and cannot go looking for anything else. Tell her that she has until x time to dress, and if she hasn't done so by then, you are going to choose the clothes and dress her. And again, then follow through. You are the parent and you need to show her that you are in charge, not her. I think you will continue to have this issue until you can BE the parent. Will there be tears and upset? Highly likely. But you need to change the dynamic, and the only way to do it is to clearly communicate expectations and consequences, and then follow through.

I use the latter method with my three year old. I learned that you can't say to her "what do you want to wear to school today" because she'll inevitably pick something inappropriate, dirty or too small - or she just won't choose. I choose two outfits and let her select one. I show them to her while she is eating breakfast, not in her bedroom, so that the only clothes she can see at the moment are the ones I am presenting to her. (If she has access to the rest of her clothes, it just complicates things.) Since I started doing this, getting dressed is SO much easier.

Two.... I think you need to ask yourself why you have allowed this issue to become a battle between you. From your post, I can tell that you take a lot of pride in your daughter's clothes and her appearance. I'm wondering if you take a bit too much pride. Kids are very good at picking up on their parents' angsts and magnifying them. If your daughter senses, which by now she surely does, that how she's dressed is a big deal to you, then she's that much more likely to use that to get to you. I really want to suggest to you that you back off this issue for a little while. She wants to wear the same thing every day? Fine, let her wear it until it gets too dirty and needs to be washed. Been there done that, and there are plenty of tears on laundry day, but you get through it. Eventually the phase will pass. Don't take her with you when you are shopping for clothes for her; you don't really need her opinion on what you are buying. Kids are fickle - it's very possible that when you bought something, she really loved it and then a couple of weeks later she just doesn't care for it any longer. If you bring something home and she says she doesn't like it anymore, don't take it back right away. If you do, then it has the potential to become a game that she's in control of: let's see if I can get Mommy to take back another outfit! Just put it away somewhere for a couple of weeks and then bring it out later. Weed out her closet so that she doesn't have so many choices; just pare it down to the clothes and the types of clothes she likes to wear the best. Eventually she might get bored with them, and then you can introduce some stuff back into the mix.

But above all.... I really hope that you'll take the opportunity to reflect on why this is so important to you. In the end, does it matter what she's wearing as long as she's covered appropriately?

Take care and good luck.

I know you have had a lot of responses, but want to also give a suggestion that worked for us when our daughter was starting kindergarten. I bought one of the sweater organizers that hang in the closet that have 5+ openings. On Sundays, she quickly decides what she wants to wear Mon-Fri. This allows her to chose her outfits and makes the mornings quicker since she already decided. We don't allow changes in the morning and since she decided the outfits, we don't have that problem. I also agree about maybe too many clothes, which I also have your problem about buying too many deals, but we haven't had any issues since our Sunday decision days. Good luck.

Oh my GOD the tears and bellowing our family has endured as my daughter gets dressed. You've had a ton of advice so I'll just add a little:

for shopping, I never take my daughter to the store. That guarantees tears because I won't buy certain things she wants (sunglasses, sandals in december). Occasionally, we'll be at Target and she'll see something she loves or it's on sale and we agree and I'll buy it. Otherwise, we shop together online. It's much easier not to be overwhelmed by the choices. We can discuss things at our leisure and make good choices together.

Regarding getting dressed, I try to focus on really practical things (absolutely not on style!) like what's the temperature going to be and what kind of activities will she be doing. She can't wear a dress up dress and sandals to go on a hike. Now every morning she asks me what the weather will be like and that starts her decision making process.

Finally, if she's dying to wear the same thing as yesterday and it's in the laundry basket, I let her dig it out. If it's filthy she'll usually decide for herself that she doesn't want to wear it.

Goooooood luck. It's such an energy sucker.

(another thought: she might have a lot of extra anxiety right now about starting kindergarten. You know how we all usually pick something seemingly unrelated to funnel our anxiety into? It might be clothing for her. Doesn't affect how you should deal with the situation, but it helps to be compassionate)

ok first off you just described my dd at 6 ( mine must be a late bloomer, lol)

I also tried the I pick 3 and she chooses, that worked best for us, but like you said not always.

I do think at one point, I told her that I would start removing items from her closet if she tried to wear it more than once a week, or if she rejected it more than twice.

Definately pick out the night before, I went so far as to decorate 5 spring type clothes pins glitter sprakles the works and each one was labled with a day of the week (m-f)
Sunday nights (I would look at the forecast for the week) we would go through and pick out outfits for the week,
My DD had "specials" that had rules that went with them, she had to wear leggings/ strech pants on gym days, Music day she could wear a dress, art days had to be casual and ok if it got paint on it. Library was jeans- just cuz

It was still painful and at 7 1/2 it still a struggle I swear she never out growns her shorts so she has about 20 pair and i just realized she wore the same 4 all summer. lol not really but it feels like it.

I"m guessing it will get better, I know you said she gets compliments but you might want to tone that down a bit if you can and place the emphasis on her and her behavior not her looks. just saying, maybe there is some pressure there.

This is why I LOVE a uniform school. The only decision is dress, skirt or pants.

My initial thought is that she does have too many clothes which makes the decision harder.

I would leave enough clothes in her drawers for 7 outfits. Pack the rest up. You can switch them out on a weekly basis. That way, she still has choices, but not as many.

I would also try to discourage people from commenting on her clothes or appearance. It seems to me that she may be getting her self-esteem from her looks, which is not a good thing. Encourage people to compliment her on her behavior, a job well done, her kindness, helpfulness, etc., and stay away from appearance. You need her to focus on the RIGHT stuff!

Just read the SWH - didn't read any responses before I responded. Sounds like I said the same thing as others. Sorry for the redundancy

I've been reading your responses as we deal with similar issues with our 5 year old. She started last year though. Through 4K we had to hold her down in the morning and force clothes on her while she kicked and screamed and tried to get them off. This was because she could not decide on an outfit so I picked one for her.

She is getting better and will dress herself now but she puts on the most ridiculous outfits. I don't say anything as I want her to have the control.

Oh and there was a phase where she wanted to wear the same thing everyday - so she did. lol

My little girl had this problem too. I didn't know what to do either. But picking out two outfits and letting her choose seemed to work the best. All I can say is fortunately she's pretty much outgrown it now that she's older, so hope the same will happen for you!

We have been going through this with my daughter since she was 2. I finally gave up on fighting with her and let her wear whatever she wants. I figure if she's not embarrassed then neither am I. She started kindergarten yesterday and I was hoping this battle would end since they have to wear uniforms. Oh no! She wanted to wear the same red shirt she wore yesterday instead of the blue one.....

I saw this cute idea on pinterest. It is a hanging closet with 5 compartments (I forgot the actual name but they sell these space savers everywhere). Each box was labeled with the day of the week and had all items for the child to wear. Monday, Tues, Weds etc. You or your child can place pants, shirt, underwear, shoes and what ever else. i am going to do this with my son. He really does not care what he wear (very easy). For some reason my 2 year old daughter totally cares and will refuse to wear certain things.

If you do not already, you should resale her clothes and with that allowance let her get 'new' clothes with the credit at the consignment store.