Clingy 9 Month Old!

Hi K.,

Just started on this site. I completely understand, I have a 9 month old son and he has become more clingy lately. I believe it is mostly because he is teething and he wants me to comfort him. I bought this device at walmart that you can put ice or cold food in that allows him to suck on it and that really helps or I dissolve the "teething tablets" in his mouth, also at walmart or target and that eases the pain. If he isn't teething, then another thing that works for my son is distraction. I will let him play with toys with his 4 year old brother in his bedroom and I will sit behind where baby can't see me and he will play and laugh at his brother and it really calms him. Plus I can read a book or work on making lists or filling out bills, etc. Another thing we do is I take him outside on a blanket, either on the porch or in the yard if its not raining and he loves to sit and watch birds and squirrels and this frees me up some as well.
Hope it helps some, but he will get through the teething or "clingyness" , try to just be in the moment with him sometimes and with lots of attention on the floor or whereever, my son will usually let me out of sight for a few minutes.
Going crazy with you, hope these suggestions help!!! Time for a mom's night out?? haha

Mama M.

Hi K.,
I can reassure you that your son's clinginess does not have to do with breastfeeding and is a normal stage. My daughter went through the same thing around that age. It's just a phase of separation anxiety, and he will outgrow it in a few months. I know it can be exhausting, but if you want to make your life easier, I would suggest using a baby carrier. I carried my daughter in it during the few months she was going through this and it worked wonders. I was able to get things done and she was happy being with me all the time. The baby carrier is best to use it when you need to stand and do things (dishes, cook, laundry). But be careful when cooking and using it. Use common sense and don't cook anything dangerous that will splatter. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there! Things will get better.

My son was super clingy at about that age. He grew out of it though, but he's still a mama's boy. My husband and I argued endlessly because he would only give him bottles, and the reason was he didn't want to eat for him. He's not that way anymore though...well not all the time. :) I know that's not much help but I know what it feels like. I'm an attachment parent, so I didn't do any cry it out even then. Good luck... :)

Hi K.,
I have never breastfed my kids so I can't speak from experience but here is my advice.

Feeding- you are probably gonna have to let your hunsband do dinner for awhile and you will have to leave the room for brief moments or even move his high chair so that you can stand behind it and your husband still feed him. This way you can try and break that routine. Or another option you could try is since your son is 9 months old start encouring him to feed himself this way he isn't reiant on you or your husband. I knoe it causes a mess but it may help a little, you don't have to let him feed everything to himself but if you are having something for dinner let him have some of it. Table food doesn't hurt them in anyway. I have 4 children and the older 3 have started table food by 7 or 8 months and been on tablefood by the time it was their first birthday if not sooner. My 4th is 5 months and here in the next 2 months she will start some tablefoods.

As for the breastfeeding thing you could start introducing either the sippy cup or bottle (I don't know what he is currently used to) when you normaly would be breastfeeding him. You would want to do it in a different room and /or chair. Also when you husband is home let him offer it to him If you are going from formula to breastmilk then I would make the formula a little warm, if you are going to go ahead and go to milk and slowly wean him over the next 3 months then I would also warm the milk. Then as he takes gradually make it less and less warm.

Also something that might be helpful whichever way you are gonna go wether it be sippy cup or bottle if you are able pump and put some in the cup and then offer it to him so he has something familiar in there at first then make the switch. Also you could offer the sippy cups to him at meals. Establish good habits now rather than having to break bad ones later.

Also on other note than when you are trying to get him to drink from the sippy cup/bottle and you have to hold I would put a blanket between you and your son. It's kinda hard to give someone advice on what to do when your not for sure on what the routine has been. For instance my youngest is 5 months and sleeps through the night since she was 2 months old (without giving her cereal) she also falls asleep on her own for naps and at bedtime. These things I established right from the begining. I hope what advice I did give you helps in someway. W. mom of 4.

Please go to www.askdrsears.com This web site has helped me a lot.

Hi K.,

If you are ready to start weaning your son, try skipping a feeding during the day and replacing it with a new activity (i.e. go to the park or somewhere fun outside) or a new toy. Distractions work wonders when starting to wean, unless your kiddo feeds on a strict schedule, then it might be tougher. Sometimes creativity is the key to replacing that feeding for awhile. (Like taking a trip to Grandma's house or something which offers a change in routine.) Within a couple of days, he shouldn't even miss that feeding.

You could also begin stretching the time between feedings to a hour of a couple of hours longer than you've been doing.

Here is a link to some other suggestions from Dr. Sears. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/t026400.asp

Bottom line, like all things child related, it just takes time and patience. Hang in there and good luck!!

I know it's really annoying, but it's normal, and he will grow out of it within a month or so. I think giving him to dh and LEAVING THE ROOM helps. I do think it's okay to let babies cry some if you're actually trying to teach them something (like how to go to sleep on their own), but I'm not sure just putting him down and letting him cry is going to help your situation in the long run. I would try putting him down a lot (like hold him for 2-3 minutes, put him down for 2-3 minutes). Talk nicely to him while he's down, explaining what you're doing and why you can't hold him all the time, etc. Then pick him up, but don't act angry or like you feel sorry for him. Then repeat repeat repeat. Good luck!

My suggestion as to the weaning is to find support/advice through your local La Leche League group. They've been wonderful for me and will give you great info. and suggestions and lots and lots of other motherly breastfeeding support!! Here's the link to find your local group... http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebUS.html
GOOD LUCK!!!

Do what you can to keep him engaged in floor activities. My boys had this altitude addiction (what we called it) but my husband was usually a good substitute.

I would suggest that you get you husband to stand in for you as much as possible, say start with paly time, then bath time, then solid food feedings. When you're ready to wean him you'll need your husband to take over that feeding. Eliminate one feeding a week. Start with a late feeding say between dinner and bed time or what ever time your husband is available to feed him. Then eliminate the meal time feedings by giving him a cup of breast milk. Then substitute either bottles or cups for the between meal feedings. Once you're only feeding twice a day, eliminate the morning feeding then the bed time feeding.

It's important that you aren't in the room or in hearing distance of the baby when he's being fed by others because he will fuss and you know your breast milk will react.

I went through the same thing. My daughter was the same way, the only thing i figured out to do was, to make my husband take them around dinner and things like that, and leave the room, your child might be going through seperation anxiety, which is normal.

I am going through the same thing with my daughter. I recently started a part time job that I can take her too but she will literally cry for the whole time if I am not holding her. Needless to say, it's hard to get things done with her. I have asked my mother-in-law, a nurse, and my doctor and they were of no help. Sorry that I can't give you any suggestions but if get any advice please forward to me. I let her cry also but it's severely trying on both of us.