CIO For Naps Not Bedtime PART 2 - Watertown,MA

Try using a "sleep sack" with her.
Look on Amazon. They have it for all age babies.

She may need still to feel cocooned.
Many babies however, once they feel put down in bed, will 'wake' screaming. Because they do not feel your body n or it warmth nor can they sense you.

Also, many babies, do not like to sleep in cribs. Because it is a vast open space. Thus, try a sleep-sack for your baby.
Just try it.
It worked for my daughter.

Also, ALWAYS feed/nurse her before bed/nap.
If your baby is hungry, they will wake and wake a lot.
My kids even cluster-fed, and fed every single darn hour.
And they woke whenever hungry.
Thus, feeding on-demand.
Always.
And yes, babies fall asleep at the bottle or breast, because their tummy is full. Mostly all babies, do this. Its fine. Nothing wrong with that.

Also, if she still has her 'startle reflex' this will wake her too. The startle reflex is an involuntary reflex... which will startle them awake because an infant has no control over their motor-skills nor appendages.

ALSO, have you considered that she is having Gas?
Try Mylicon Infant Gas Drops.
Gas also wakes a baby. And is very common.

Also, some babies naturally go through various stages of sleep. AND they do, make noises or toss and turn while sleeping. This does not mean, they have woken up. They are just, moving around while they sleep. Just like an adult. So, if this is what your baby does... there is no need to intervene or interrupt her sleep rhythms. Because doing so will wake her up.

Also, you need to teach your 3 year old, the routines for him and for baby. My daughter was 3 years old when I had my second child. I always always always, explained to her about babies, about her routines, about her baby brother's routines etc. And when her baby brother napped in the afternoon, so did she. And so did I. Everyday, my eldest KNEW the routines of the day. And, when napping, my daughter was taught to use her 'whisper' voice. And to tip-toe etc.
The thing is, the activity going on while a baby naps, can wake them.
A toilet flushing down the hall, for example, would wake my daughter to a screaming fit, when she was a baby.
She was very sensitive to noises. She could hear a pin drop, down the hall.

With 2 kids, it s doable.
But you need to teach your eldest, about the daily routine. When I would put my 2nd child to nap, I would put things on my daughter's art and activity table. She would be in the adjacent room, but I would explain that while I am putting baby to nap, she needs to be quiet. That baby is going to nap etc. And she knew, that at that time... IF she needed me... to tip-toe and come to me and whisper. She more than understood.

Also, per your surgery, you just NEED to get help. And have another adult around to help you.

Where is your Husband in all this?
Can't he help with your eldest child?
So you can concentrate on baby?
There is no reason, per your surgery, you have to do everything. Still.

I would try the sleep-sack and some white noise.
I always turn a fan on low, when my kids are napping. For example.

But also, you can't make a baby nap longer. Unless you know their stages and rhythms. Some babies, just fuss a lot before sleeping. Like some adults. Toss and turn. My son, would have this monotone sort of sound he made before he actually drifted off to sleep. And he'd toss and turn. But that was HIS routine, HIS way of drifting off. It is a 'self-soothing' manner that he did. I KNEW that about him. Thus, I did not interfere or interrupt that. Because otherwise, "I" would be waking him.

Babies also, cannot sleep if they are over-tired or,
over-stimulated.
Maybe, before nap or bed, the lights are too bright or too much noise.
Who knows.
But a baby will nap, as long as they will.
IF your baby is waking up well and bright-eyed and happy... THEN she had a nap that was long enough for her.

BUT if she is waking up fussy and tired still, then, her nap was not long enough.

Where do you put her down for naps?
It needs to be, in the SAME place everyday. A routine about it.
In her crib or wherever she sleeps.
My kids for example: were NOT "portable" nappers. Meaning, they would not not not ever, nap or sleep while in a stroller or in a car or anywhere. They would ONLY nap, while at home, and in their crib.

But ultimately... a baby will nap if/when tired. And they will nap as long as THEY need to.
You cannot make her, nap or sleep longer.

At this age as well, you cannot make her, fall asleep on her own. She is real young. They don't even have control over their motor movements yet or appendages or reactions.
They do not do things, at-will, at this age.

I'm sorry to say this, but at 14 weeks, it's completely normal and natural to only fall asleep at the breast/bottle. My son never slept more than 3 hours at at time with 45 minutes naps during the day until he was just over 19 months old, and YES, I was EXHAUSTED!

You may want to find a mother's helper or family member who can come for a few hours a day (and night if you can find someone!!!), so you can get some rest after your back surgery. Also a very useful nursing position for any time (not just post-surgery) is called Laid-Back Breastfeeding. This position could very well allow both of you to get some much-needed rest. Here's a great link: http://biologicalnurturing.com/ with a great video link under "For Mothers."

You might also be surprised to learn how much sleep all those 45-minute naps add up to! At 14 weeks, it's recommended that baby get a total of 16-18 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. (I'm working off memory from the No Cry Sleep Solution, so I could be off by an hour or so)

Good luck mama! :) I feel your pain.....

I don't think it's that CIO is not something you can use, just probably not at the moment. At this age I wouldn't think she would have good self-soothing abilities. My son will usually only fall asleep to breast or bottle too (of course he can swing sleep too so that helps). Honestly, I think you should stop forcing the napping thing. You don't say how often she naps during the day or how her night sleeping is, but if she is sleeping most of the night then she can do just fine with catnaps throughout the day. My son sleeps a total of about 16 hours a day. 12 hours of that is at night (he only wakes up once). So he only sleeps 4 hours total during the day (he'll either take 1-2 really long naps or 4 really short naps. Sometimes he'll even take 5-6 naps and catnap more during the day, but he never has a problem sleeping at night except when he got a cold). Some babies are just more alert. Everyone always comments on his alertness. When he starts yawning and stuff I put him to sleep and when he wakes up, I just let him be awake. I really feel like your stressing over how long she is sleeping to much when really whats important is the total amount of sleep they are getting. Just go with her schedule and don't force her to do something different then what her biological system wants to do. Babies full sleep cycles are actually not that long. Yes, most babies need something, but not all and you probably have the unique ones. With that being said, get the book "The Baby Whisperer." She does a lot of explaining on how to handle different personality types of babies. That book helped me realize that I needed to stop looking at my son as a "textbook" baby because he simply wasn't and had a whole different personality with a different kind of need then what all the experts said he needed.

That book also has some tips on helping baby learn to self-soothe. It will take a few sleepless nights and days to do it though. Also, she may just not like the crib. My son hates his crib cause it's to big and open. We're not gonna transition him to it until his startle reflex stops. I've been told that when we do transition him that it would help to swaddle him and then do what we can to make the bed "feel" smaller (I'm thinking about getting a co-sleeper or something similar that I can place in the crib and then transition him out of that eventually, just to get him used to the crib. Also, as babies get older, their sleep cycles change and they can sleep a little more soundly, so its usually easier for them to sleep in the crib. I kept stressing about the crib thing for a while and finally gave up and decided that I would try later when he was a little more developmentally ready. I've already noticed that he's a little more comfortable sleeping on his back, which was also a challenge.

As far as the surgery and going back to work, I really think your just gonna have to look into getting some help, especially after the surgery. If she isn't tired, it's gonna be hard to force her to sleep.

Oh and I'm sorry that you once again got some rude comments on here. I hope that mine does not come off as rude, it's just really my thoughts on the matter. Your daughter sounds so much like my son given your posts.

CIO will only help her learn to fall asleep, not keep her asleep. If she is only napping for 45 min and is than awake, than that is her nap, once rested she can not be forced to sleep more. I did use a form of CIO with my children from about 2 months on that worked great, but I would recommend starting with it at night time. I would let them fuss/light cry for 5 minutes at a time and than go in and comfort, once they were calm I would leave, and if they started to fuss I would wait another 5 min. I never had to go in more than once. As for lengths of naps, if she will not sleep in a swing to help keep her asleep I am afraid there may be little you can do, once she is awake she will feel refreshed whether the nap was 2 hours or 20 minutes, and is unlikely to want to go back down even if she really should.

i didn't breast feed, but my son was a horrible napper - and always had to be in motion... part of it was my daughter was up (they are 23 mos apart) and he was too busy watching her to fall asleep in the living room etc. have you tried doing any formal naps in her own room/crib. like 45-1 hour after each feed, put her in her room for a snooze.

also try a white noise machine... i had my son in the bouncy seat on the floor and was vaccuming... i turned around and he was asleep! i was completely amazed. put small radio in her room on a static station, try running a vaccum or blow dryer... it if that works... for a longer term solution get a white noise machine we have the "sound screen" it's in my sons room and with the door closed, shades drawn it's a nice little cocoon.

he's still not a great sleeper (he's 2.5 now) and at 9 mos we did have to do a cry it out session b/c i was getting up every 1 - 1.5 hours all night long to get him back to sleep. he's still not a great sleeper (he's 2.5 now). He is very habit forming in his sleep patterns so we needed to define a bedtime routine and stick with it....

he recently had a double ear infection, so we were sleeping on the couch together for a few days..... so then he got in the habit of sleeping with me....so we had to re-train him again. every time he gets sick and i'm checking on him in the night etc.... we have to go through a re-trianing session again. but 1 - 2 nights and he's back to normal.

i definatly think now is the time to start teaching her to self sooth - i'm not talking cry it out but get her attached to a lovey of some sort and start the process. my son has his bink and 1 very specific blankie..... if it is an item (blanket/bear) make sure you have multiples and rotate them so the wear out differently. i didn't realize my son would get attached to this one blanket and i can't find another one like it... and since it's so worn now - even if i did find the same one it wouldn't feel the same.

we used a book called "help solve your child's sleep problems" i found it a the used book store - there are several chapters on different issues - middle of the night feedings, self soothing, night terrors etc......

the best thing you can do is get a few books and figure out what is going to work for you. and it may be a mix of a few different solutions u learn about.

I'm now 10mos into breastfeeding my second baby (my oldest is a little past 3). I used Dr Ferber's method to teach both of them to fall asleep. It's commonly (and incorrectly) referred to as CIO. I'd recommend you pick up the book so you have a really clear idea of what you're going to be doing and what is achievable (it's in libraries - I didn't bother to buy it). You may not get very far until the baby is a little older. I think we started sleep training around 14-16 weeks. I do think if you want the baby to nap on her own in her crib you're going to have to teach her to sleep there overnights as well. She will probably have a hard time understanding why it's ok to fall asleep on top of you at 10pm but not 10am. Also, both my babies didn't really start taking hour + naps until they were past the 4mo mark so while the 45 min ones are rough, they aren't uncommon.
Good luck!

get her a comfort item. like a binky or stuffed animal or a crib toy that lights up and secures to the crib and get a lullybuy cd and a cd play and put in her room to have some soft noise going