Christmas Gifts - Dyersville,IA

As a mom of 2 dau., ages 21 and 17...I can remember the younger years at Christmas time. My husband and I didn't spend near what you did and yet, BOTH of my girls were happy with what they received from Santa. I've never been one to "break the bank" at Christmas and now as my girls are older and buy their own gifts, they are truly appreciative of the past. Starting out over-spending on one's children will lead to heartache in years to come. Because they begin to EXPECT more and more each year.

I have two boys 3.5 and 2 years. What I have found works best is that my husband and I buy one large gift (about $25 to $50)per boy and then several smaller ones. Usually Santa brings one toy for them to share and then coloring books and some candy. I try to buy their smaller gifts at Once Upon a Child or at garage sales the fall before. This way I feel like I can buy a few more things and not spend as much. I know its hard to not go into debt during the Holiday Season. At this age though they usually are okay with only getting one popular thing. I try to buy them learning type activities for the smaller gifts like puzzles and blocks. Hope that helps.
J.

That's a question that has grey lines all over it. I think what you spend/get all depends upon what values and ideals you set. Nowadays, i think that it's very easy to spend more than you think or to reach 125.00 quickly without getting an absorbenent (sp?) amount of items.

I think that first you need to determine if the reason your husband upset because of the amount you spent or if it's because he didn't really know until you brought them out. Maybe it's just that was surprised by what you got. However, if he truly doesn't like the $$$ amount spent and truly won't give you input, then he really doesn't have a leg (or a dollar) to stand on. If he wants get mad about spending, then he better by God participate in the decision making. If not, then shut his mouth.

if he still decides to not participate then maybe you can help thwart the final episode by providing updated lists as to the things you find along the way in preparation for birthdays/christmas.

As far as what we do. we have a 2 & 4 yr old and they're so close in age that they end up playing with each other's toys and also, we know that by we add up what all the relatives give them that can be a lot. they get the customary box of clothes (the boring present), 2 toys, and then Santa brings them each one and maybe a joint gift (like a wagon, or kitchen playset). so the dollar amount my vary from year to year. Of the 2 toys we do get them, one is sometimes a little more educational. And if we get a joint toy that's sometimes a bit more expensive, but we won't always do that.

every kids does deserve to have a christmas, not excessive though.

hope that helps. good luck.

Tracey,

First, in 10 years, your children will not remember what was under the tree on Christmas Morning 2006. They WILL remember things about Christmas: how much fun you all had as a family putting the Christmas tree up, the smell of Christmas dinner in the oven, the excitement of Christmas Eve, and unfortunately, if your husband "went postal" in their presence, they will also remember this as The Year Daddy Yelled.

It sounds to me as though the bigger issue here is not how many gifts your children should get, or how much money to spend. The big issue is your husband and yourself being on the same page. Whether that means 2 gifts not exceding $25 or a maximum of 30 gifts not to exceed $1000.

What my husband and I do each year is sit down and set a spending limit for everyone in the family (our parents and siblings, each other, and the kids), and stick to it (with a little lee-way. For example, if we set a $30 limit but we find THE PERFECT gift for $35, we'll get it).

I also have this stipulation - the number of toys in our house remains fairly constant. If, for example, my daughter were to get YET ANOTHER stuffed animal, an old stuffed animal goes to some type of charity or thrift shop. In my opinion, this has many benefits. First, it reduces the number of toys I have to pick up. Additionally, I know that my child will not be "spoiled" by too many toys (which, I know, is a subjective number). But most importantly, my daughter will have a wonderful lesson in helping those less fortunate than ourselves, which is a wonderful gift in and of itself.

I hope you and your husband can resolve your differences and make next Christmas a happier occasion!

Tracey D
It's okay to buy your kids gifts. Every year my husband and I Buy each of our kids one big gift and a few smaller ones. I don't think that you spend too much at all. Think about all the people that spend much more than you. My husband and I always talk about what we're going to get the kids. He doesn't shop with me either. But we come to an agreement on what we are going to get the kids. You love your'e kids very much, i'm sure. You could try talking to your husband and find out why he thinks that you spend too much on your children. Communication is the key in any relationship. If you're not sure how to talk or you feel like you're not getting any where there are lots of books that can advise you and help you learn how to talk to him. Good Luck.

I normally spend 150.00-300.00 per my two children.. I don't think that you are spending too much.. Honestly, men see things differently versus women.. Continue to shop the way you do for the kids. If you two can't come to a consensus about the budget and holiday shopping for the children, then their is some form of communication barrier. This may sound crazy but it works.. Each of you(you and your hubby)get a pen and pad and take the time to write the reasons why you feel you should spend the amount you do and he write down why he thinks you spend too much.. Then exchange pads--try to see one anothers point of view...

wow, I think you did great to only spend that about per child. I have 5 children (4 older kids) and almost every gift I bought was well over $50.00 for each gift. The older the kids get the more expensive Christmas gets. My daughter who is 4 i spent about $125.00 also but thats because all toys arent pricey. But when it comes to teens who want 75 dollar hodies, or 270 dollar Ipods, or 100 comforter sets, and I dont even want to list the price of all the tools and tool boxes that were under the tree. So really if your Husband thinks you spent too much this year, whats he gonna do when you have teens? Trust me the cost of raising teens is unreal, Car insurance, gas, food, hour long showers, 5 bucks here 40 bucks there..lol So tell your husband to enjoy your children, let you spoil them ( with in reason) while its cheaper, cause when there teens watch out!!LOL I hope all works out for you.
take care
A.

In our house, Santa brings two presents if you're good. This year he also brought one of those tunnel/playhouses with the balls as a gift for both of my girls. With that, plus gifts from family (2 each from my brother, and 2 each from my parents), my girls has more than enough toys. In fact, several are not even out of their box yet.

I've just moved to Nebraska from a large, urban east coast city where kids didn't spend much time in their own houses at all, so the amount of toys that children have here is shocking to me. If kids have too many toys at home, then there's no reason to play at other children's houses, or at parks, or visit zoos, museums, etc. and I think that they miss out on some vital opportunities.

But, with that being said, I firmly beleive that you are your kids' mother, and you know what's best for them. If you want to give them more and feel that it's in their best interest, then you should absolutely do it.

All the best,
-B.

Not trying to be rude but your husband sounds like a tight wad!! LOL!! My mother had 7 of us. She would still spend 100 on each of us. She would start buying presents as soon as she could and she would get things on sale or clearance so we would get lots for that 100 dollars. We were all always happy campers come christmas.

I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I spent about 50 each on them. But we are fairly poor and I have a huge family that I know will get them great presents cause they are all well off. I think they got around 500 or 600 dollar each worth of presents. Not to mention I buy my children toys and clothes all year round. So I think you did just fine! I would personally tell him if you don't care to contribute anything but commentary don't bother!! LOL!! Just my two cents!

We spent about $150 on both of our boys ages 4 and 18 months. I felt we got them plenty. 4 gifts each at home and they get more from grandparents. I think we have plenty of toys, it's hard to keep them from getting all stung out and not getting them put away. We also don't have good storage and I plan to change that in the next two months.

This year that was all the money we had to spend on them, so I didn't have much choice there. I know some people who don't get their kids a lot, but instead plan a fun trip to a hotel with a pool and do some other things they don't normally get to do. SOme people also do things in the community for familys who can't afford gifts.

I hope you and your husband can find a compromise.

I have 2 girls 2 &4 4 and 2 stepsons 11 & 15 and what I usually do is one big present each then a buch of small ones. I got a buggy (2) bike (4) skateboard (11) and an suprisingly expensive playstation game (15). Then they each get an outfit. For the girls I got them each a bath toy and then 2 sharing presents. Then they each got some small toys. My husband would spend a small fortune on each of the kids and he is bad about buying stuff just so they all have the same amount of presents but I am a little more practical. When I go to the store and get things on sale anytime after aug. I wrap it. They also get alot from grandparent so there is no need to go overboard but if you get them things that you know that they will use and will really like then its ok as long as you don't over spend.
With my husband I usually make a list of each of the big presents and then as I buy things I add it so that he can see what I am getting. His biggest thing is being fair so I usually have to let him know how much I spend on everything because the boys usually want more expensive stuff. Try a list it helps spell it out.

Your budget is really good. I have one son and to be honest I think I spent way more than that. I usually start shopping the day after Thanksgiving. (That is when all the expensive toys go on sale)But I feel if it is educational than it is worth buying. Just talk with your husband and next year have him go with you to the store to see really how much these toys cost now days. Good Luck on your marriage.

When they are young it is how many gifts. (And be sure that it is the same for both.) When they get older it is how much you spend on them. There are always gifts under the tree from Santa and from mom and dad. I always worry that they didn't get enough. Personally, I think five is on the little side. Instead of toys maybe clothes, a watch, a movie, etc. I bought my children brand new comforters for their beds on top of the toys and in their stockings were a watch. My husband said that when he was a kid he got underwear, deodorant, and fruit in his stocking. I know families that just pull names and everyone gets one gift! I knew that when I bought for my children they would also be getting gifts from other family memebrs. Let the children pick out gifts for each other. Buy clothes and/or jackets. Children love gift cards too because they love buying stuff "themselves". In our house it has always been the opposite. There is always the worry that we didn't buy enough. Personally, I think $500 is WAY TOO much! We spent about $150 on each child this year. You just have to look at what you are buying. Growing up we each got one large gift. And the year we got a computer that was the gift for the WHOLE family.

We only have one child and we spent about $100 on her and I feel that she got enough. But she got way too much from the rest of the family. I don't think you're wrong for setting a spending limit for your kids. My husband didn't want to set a spending limit LOL He spares no expense when it comes our daughter!

We have 5 kids ages from 10 to 2 and it really depends on what we get them and what there big gift is . i am more into the amount and sometimes one does get more spent on them the others. My 10 yr old doesnt play with toys but brat dolls. So she ends up with like a ipod this yr so it really depends on what it is. i dont like to hear well they have 1 more gift then i so i try and make it fair and my kids dont see the money they see amount. And as far as having to many toys, about a month befor christmas we go through everyones toys and donate what the dont play with and get rid of whats broke so just befor it looks like they have no toys and when its time to put all new toys away they have room And my kids are pretty willing to donate cause we explain to them that there are some ppl who cant afford to go buy new and would love to have toys that arent new but look it. (We have friends who have to do that every year) are kids buy 1 present for them and we explain that its about giving not getting . I hope this helps and as for your husband im not sure what to say my hubby and i love to shop so its never a fight here

What you need to do is ask your husband when you should buy them expensive presents, just at birthdays or Christmases, or all year long. Tell him that they deserve to get some of the fancier toys, but how spoilled they would be if they got what they wanted whenever they wanted it. I know Christmas isnt about the presents, but its the time to give and maybe they dont understand that yet, its the best time of the year other then birthday to give them something they wanted all year and will be special to them. My husband and I have that agreement, birthdays and Christmas are for the good presents, the rest of the time they get things that are less then $20, (as way less as possible lol) Good Luck!

What do you remember about your Christmases? I ask myself every year. I didn't get a lot of gifts but every one was special. What will your kids remember. I remember the good times; not the exact presents. I don't spend too much because my kids are happy with toys from the dollar stores. We buy inexpensive toys and needed clothes. The grandparents spoil them with the expensive gifts. I'm lucky my kids are so easily pleased.

We have 3 boys, 14-10-4, 2 birthdays in Nov and 1 in Jan. Christmas is not their birthday. BUT The boys have to buy for the other 1 gift(2 go in on 1 gift). They buy mom and dad 1 gift (this year was a dual screen DVD player for the car-which can do many other things). Santa brings 1-3 small gifts (this year was movie or game and sleeping pants). One year we got them each a new blanket and santa brought each a movie, a box of candy and a color book.

On my side of the family, I buy for my mom and step dad and nothing for any one else (I am 7 of 9, with 30 neices and nephews and 10 greats).

On my husbands side (he is 2 of 5 with 9 neices and nephews and 1 great), each sibling puts in $150 for their parents and we buy something nice or pay for a trip, any ramaining money goes to them as cash. Children 15 and younger exchange names(all but 1 grandchild are boys-they try to get the girl who is the baby), the big people, including mom and dad, do a white elephant, girls with girls, guys with guys.

SO we do not buy many gifts for christmas. the boys birthdays are different. BUT it is their birthday.

Any toys they want during the year, they have to buy themselves out of their allowance money-even the 4 year old.

DON'T FORGET TO BAKE JESUS A BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!

I am a mom of 3 kids 10,6 and 3 I agree with u I buy my kids 5 a piece every year. My husband don't agree he says 5 a piece is to much. You say the only time u buy them anything is for Birthdays and Christmas then your husband should be ok with it. I tend to buy alot for my kids cuz I didnot have much when I was a kid my husband thinks I shouldn't I try not to.

You did not over do it. They need a time for things that are special and its only once a year. Especially if you do not buy them things all the time. What I use to tell the kids they are going to have a special day with some gifts and would they like to give some of their olds things up to kids who need them. I never had a problems with them willing to give that way they could show dad that they were giving away things as well as getting knew things. My husband complains about money constantly and I don't never let him pick out things or go with me because he gripes. If you got to spend 125.00 on each child that is awesome. Don't regret just remember those kids will remember the little things of a gift meaning a lot. Reward your kids they deserve it and they will return the favor to someone else in the future. I had to give my kids necessities this pass christmas because that was all I could do and they needed so many things.

I have a 5 yr old and a 4 month old. And every year my 5 year old would get so much stuff that he never played with. So me and my husband decided to scale it down!

So we usually only get him a few toys,and outfit,movie & the few things for stocking stuffers...coloring book,socks,candy etc.
And Santa Brings one BIG toy a eletric ride-on or something! Depending on the toy the price is diffrent every year But we spent about $200.00 on him and the baby got a bit less dramatic from santa since she isnt old enough to relieze whats going on. So I wouldn't say you spent to little or to much! I know some children that got alot less than my kids and some that got WAY more!! It depends on your finances and beliefs! I would just try and encourage your husband to shop if he doesn't like what you got! Or comprimse on a amount and what he might like them to have as well as you!!
GOOD LUCK NEXT YEAR~

P.S. Not including presents from grandparents, family & friends

I'd set a spending limit according to your income. I know my sisters usally set a spending limit. Like $200 per child. I usually set a spending limit ($200 per child). IF you don't set a spending limit. You could end up spending more than ya'll make. Which could cause a lot of financial problems. Just some thoughts. Hope they help.

hi i too am im my mid 30's and i have 3 kids and they range from 12,12,11 and i hve 2 boys and 1 girl and we spend what we can on them and we bought them 4 gifts a peice this year and that isnt a lot but that is what we could afford. and i make a lot of home made gifts too. and that is candys and all but if u cant afford a lot it shouldnt matter its the true meaning of christmas that should count with being with ur kids and family i too am not in a happy relationship either and i have been married 13 1/2 yrs

I'm shocked! You can't get much for $125 these days. Was it really that much stuff? My soon to be ex upset me this year. We are separated and I had given up my job about 2 weeks before we split so he could work but he walked out the day before hi 1st check. He bought the kids' gifts but.....there was a $25 per kid spending limit. That was hard. Our 2 y/o wanted the wiggles and giggles elmo chair and that was $30 so that did not happen. Instead he got a spider man doll that sang itsy bitsy spider. He played with it for 5 min and has not touched it since. My 7 y/o boy got mega T-rex and it was $1 over the spending limit and the old man let that one go. He loves it. My 6 y/o got 2 barbies, make-up set for young girls (lip gloss and such), and a belt totaling at $24 all together. My 5 y/o got 2 barbies, a hat and purse totaling at $24. I was worried that they would not like the gifts except for my 7 y/o but to my surprise they did like them except for my 2 y/o. My point is that guys are so CHEAP, well, unless it benifits them! I bet a lot of other women here agree on that.
M. S.

I have a 19 month old and i spent about $125 on him for Christmas, and he barely cared because he was more interested in the boxes. But oh was it ever fun to watch him open everything up!!! In my opinion, from what you said in your note, you did very well. And, if you're not strapped for money and you could afford to spend what you did, no harm done. I don't know if this helps at all, but I don't think you're doing anything wrong or out of place.

i liked jacqui's post..and pretty much the others..i agree with as well.
as far as what we do.. our kids are 2(nov 15th) and 3(jan 24). so being so close in age (9 1/2 months), they play with each others stuff so easily. i usually start buying and socking away gifst early in the year.. like aug or sept.. so they end up with way too much i do have to admit. they get the usual few clothes items, lots of books, and usually one or two things i know are things they will love or are into. but they also have two sets of grandparents, two sets of aunt/uncle and a few cousins, and mine are the youngest so they end up with a lot. I have also put things away in a closet after christmas, and rotate some toys. plus the birthdays that are within a month each way of christmas. we also do the 'weed thru the old toys' a few months before christmas, as well as clothes. this year i made three trips, one to the Open door mission, one to a womens shelter that had lots of pg women and some babies, and one to a consignment place that takes top end stuff. not much got sold there, but i did use some of the $ for christmas.
I have a picture of the kids sitting in front of their 'piles' before starting to open .and that didn't include the 'santa' gifts(one each) not wrapped or thier stockings.
i have no idea how much i spend. i'm a thrifty/sale shopper.
my husband didn't come with me shopping this year. we didn't find the time, as in the past, to get a sitter so we could go together. i'm blessed in the fact that he is ok with what ever i get/spend. we don't have a lot of money, but he knows i'm one that won't spend a lot on something. or will get it second hand as well. like a couple of their gifts was.
he does pick up a thing or two on his own when he finds the time. he works FT plus refs basketball games, and only wants to spend time with the kids after work.. so it's hard for him to find the time to shop..haha
as far as your husband goes.. don't b*tch about something if you aren't willing to put forth the effort to contribute to the decision making. there has to be a compromise, not just his $ limit or just spend spend spend. there IS a middle ground..hahaha. some where.. haha.
Good luck:)

This year we spent about $75 on our son ($40 of which was the Tickle Me Elmo!). We got him a lot of books, which he loves, and some other toys from The Lakeside Collection (www.lakeside.com), a warehouse store in Illinois that has really discounted items. He had 7 gifts from us (not including stocking stuffers, which I spent about $10 on), 2 from my sister and brother in law, 2 from my parents and 1 from close family friends who are practically his aunt & uncle. So he had a nice Christmas...more toys than he could play with at one time! I try not to go overboard with birthdays (OK, so he's only had 1 so far, and I spent about $40 in gifts for him then) and Christmas because I want him to grow up not just focusing on the gifts, but the giving, the family traditions we have and the birth of Jesus (we're Catholic). That's how it was for me and my sister growing up and we never felt ripped off or anything. But everybody has their own values/priorities for what to do at Christmas. I guess the only thing I would say is that if it upsets your husband that much, tell him you would be happy to cut back the amount you spend, but that he needs to meet you half way and tell you what things he would like to get for the kids to meet a pre-determined gift budget. And remember, you can reward your kids in other ways besides just buying them Christmas gifts, like taking them to a children's museum or renting a movie they want to see. Maybe you can set aside an afternoon where you and the kids bake Christmas cookies. Or if your husband thinks they have too many toys (which, if you're honest with yourself, there is probably at least some truth to that, since most kids, save for those kids whose parents are poor, do have too many toys...mine included!), maybe a week or two before Christmas, the whole family can go through their toys and they can pick which ones they would like to give to a needy child or day care center. That way, they aren't just accumulating more toys, they are being generous to a child who isn't as lucky as they are. Maybe you and your husband can even go through your closets and donate clothes you don't wear anymore. From your post, I have to say, I kind of see where your husband is coming from, even if he's not going about expressing it the most effective way. The gifts will always be the big deal of Christmas to kids, but it's up to parents to impart some sense of giving and tradition and (if you're religious) spirituality , and it sounds like you are focused on what material items you can give the kids, to the point that you are alienating your husband. I just think it's not worth fighting with your husband in order to give your kids more stuff. I can't remember most of the toys I got for Christmas as a kid, but I remember our family traditions (many of which are now traditions for me, my husband and my son). The gifts really aren't what counts.

M.