Christmas Exchange

Pull names and set a spending limit. Exchanging gifts across the country is really difficult and usually results in sending a gift card, which isn't really very fun.

A girlfriend of mine's family does this and I think it's brilliant! The whole family (huge) gets together over the summer and each person brings their "wish list" for the year. One night, they all pull names out of a hat and exchange wish lists. There isn't necessarily a spending limit, but the "giver" is responsible for the "receiver" throughout the year. They buy the "big present" for the holidays, birthday, something little for the "in between" holidays, etc.

I love this b/c it's much more personal and allows people to spend a little more b/c you are only buying for the one person. They love it and we are considering it for my family this year!

Hi J.,
My husbands family does this because there are so many kids! Keep the costs low. We did $10 for kids, $15 for adults. Then if someone wanted to and could afford to spend a little more they could. Someone was designated every year to put all names in a hat and pull out who got who on Thanksgiving day. Then they told us who we got and let the shopping begin LOL. Good luck :o)

We used to do a big family exchange, but had to stop for the same reasons you listed above. It was just too difficult. With the economy being as tight as it is, a lot of people just don't have the extra money. As much as you might want to continue the tradition, it might not be possible. Not to mention, it's incredibly difficult to buy for someone that you don't know very well.

What about doing a family gift instead of gifts for individuals? So family A would buy a gift for family B's entire family. B's family would buy for C and so on. You could just put each family's name in a hat and have the oldest member of the family draw. If a large number of you get together for Thanksgiving, you could do it then. Or, what about just doing a Skype call with the extended family? In my humble opinion, that's a far better way to stay connected than sending gifts. If you do decide to do gifts, I think you should make sure that everyone wants to or is able to participate.

It seems to me like thinking outside the box may be in order to pull this off. Perhaps pulling names from a perverbial hat and you buy that one person a gift may be a better course of action. If you have a webcam, you can show others that the name pulling was legitimate. As for sending gifts, loads of websites offer free delivery and gift wrap expecially during this time.

Drawing in the younger generation will be easy with this technological slant on things but you will have to try to not loose the non tech crew too. You may want to have two groups. I also find the United States Postal Service's flat rate shipping boxes make an excellent way of shipping things reasonably. I say get as many as you can to participate and really play things up at a family reunion type thing you may want to plan for the future.

It is also helpful for each person to list 3 things they may want and set a dollar price for the gift $20-$30 is good. This can make it more afordable for most. I hope these suggestions help. Merry Christmas.

I would do secret Santa where each person only has to buy one present for one person and then mail them like Denise H. said. On my hubby's side (MIL/FIL, BIL & his wife, me and hubby) we draw names for secret santa's between the six adults and then buy presents for the kids (neices/nephews). In my family, we don't buy presents for the grow ups anymore (my Brother, Sister and Parents) we just buy for each other's kids. With things tight, this has really lightened the financial load for everyone. So if you're talking grown-ups - I would do secret Santa. You could write down a list of all names, draw randomly for each person and then send each an email saying who they have.

When all my kids were at home, we would pick names out of a hat on Thanksgiving to see who we buy gifts for. We limit the amount of costs to $50-100. Now that the older two are in different states and one is not going to be here for Thanksgiving, I make a list of names and put a number beside each name. I have the family pick a number and that's who they buy for.

It's worked so far.

That is a great thing you are doing, I wish my family was close like that. To reduce the cost of mailing how about suggesting gift cards and mailing them out, I know my kids love getting them especially when it comes to cloths. As for ways to bring the younger generation back in how about having a get together with those in different parts of the country, for example you live in NY so why not have the children in let's say NY, CT, NJ, RI get together and come up with ideas and do the same in other areas of the country, this way you can pass the torch on down the road when you are ready to do so.

Sibs, husband and I are in our 30s and 40s. We now do 'couple' gifts (each couple is assigned a couple). We do each side of the family and set a limit. It is soooo easy. We used to have each individual pick 2 names, this way each person received 2 gifts. The couple way is more efficient!
Children's gifts are separate. Good luck. Keep it fun without stressing too much :)

There are so many ways to shop on the internet now, I would think you could just have it directly shipped to the person you want.......from the seller.....but if you want to add a touch of where you live versus where they live......go with the mail......you know the boxes, if it fits it's ships.....I think the cheapest one is 4.95.........so add that into the cost of the gift.....if you say 20.00 per person, then that's 15.00 for the gift, and 5.00 to mail it......you just can't buy super big stuff........also, gift cards are easy, but no fun....how about making things? Crafts can be fun and cheap as well....then the cost of shipping isn't as bad......I also think you can get the boxes free....you just have to pay the shipping, check in to it.....

Good Luck and take care....

My husband and my family both do www.elfster.com. We each get a secret person to buy gifts for and people can post their wishes. We just set a price range and people who ask for things that aren't free to ship just include it into the cost of the item, so a $20 scarf can't be used if the person still has to pay for shipping if the family limit is $20. We love it. So easy. Just make sure everyone involved uses the web or can get help checking online.