Children Thinking They Are Fat!

i don't have a solution for you...just know that i am also appalled, i think this IS a big deal, and i am so glad you are asking for support in dealing with this. she might be getting it from her mom saying SHE is fat...or maybe coming from peers...whatever the case, her mom needs to talk to her about it. maybe also take her to the doctor and have the doctor talk to her about healthy living and different body types...good luck and thank GOODNESS she has you as grandmother!

Children can be so mean to each other...and perhaps she sees someone who is large get made fun of...or she fears it because she does not want to get teased? Maybe now that weight is being made such a big issue due to our obese nation, with changes in the schools with meals and what's sold in vending machines and what not...and with the media constantly talking about weight, maybe she is just worried about it? I think the best way to explain it to her is that it's not about being fat or skinny, it's about being healthy and unhealthy...and perhaps just speak to her about nutrition, and not about being fat or about body image because it's true that she's too young to stress out about body image. I think maybe it's best to just talk to her about being healthy, and tell her that with her being healthy and eating good things and being active she wont ever have to worry about being fat.

maybe she has heard someone saying that they are fat and not necessarily calling her fat. like if her mother is exercising and her daughter asks her why and your daughter might say something like "i need to lose weight". something as simple as that. my daughter is 5 and she is always asking me why i exercise. i'm careful that i say "bc i want to be healthy". children pick up things so easily. my daughter got upset and started crying bc she has a slight asian-type slant to her eyes and her brother has huge round brown eyes and really dark long lashes and he is always getting compliments and she told me her eyes were ugly. so like i said it might just be something that she overheard someone else saying and picked up on it.

my daughter is 13 yrs old and is really tiny. not in height but in size. she can still fit into a size 10 in girls, even though alot of the pants are high waters..lol. she has said a few times that she thinks she is fat because her stomach isnt like a wall. i have told her repeatedly that she isnt fat and that whom ever said she was did it to be mean and unfair. we place to much effort into what we should look like and not enjoying what life has to offer. not everyone will be built like a model and can"t expect others to look accordingly. i think that your 5 yr old granddaughter has heard other children repeating things that they have heard adults say. some adults dont think when they say to each other.."that person is huge" or that person is too fat" or even when they make rude comments about someone who walks by that is obese. children have a way of making us see what we do to each other. if you talk to your 5 yr old and tell them that some people are bigger then others but it is nothing to worry about. teach her that she is still growing and to eat healthy so she wont have to worry about it. the more you worry about what she is saying the more she will continue to worry about her self image. children can sense when they say something that worries adults.

Just say, "you're not fat honey, you're perfect."

Making a big deal about the fat issue either way can be detrimental.

Dear J.,
This is pretty upsetting, but the good news is that your granddaughter is young enough to have her mind changed from worrying about fat to being healthy minded about her diet, her size, etc.
Unfortunately this isn't that uncommom. My friend is a teacher and girls are starting younger and younger with saying things like this. Like other moms have said, it could simply be something she overheard, and not necessarily even from another child.
Think about it....how many commercials are there on TV for weightloss pills or workout CD's or ab-flattening apparatuses. In the grocery store, on the cover of almost every magazine, it says something about how to lose 10 pounds in two months or how to have a body like so and so. We get bombarded by these things.
Your daughter can start with asking why in the world your granddaughter thinks she's fat....see what she says and go from there. The main thing to get through to her is that at 5, the last thing she should worry about is being fat. As far as "body image", she's still growing, for heaven's sake. Her body will be different 6 months from now in one way or another. She's got a lot of growing to do. As long as she has a healthy, nutritional diet and gets plenty of exercise, her only worry should be having fun being a kid.
As far as other kids saying things, all we can do is talk to our kids and manage how they interpret things and teach them to let certain things go in one ear and out the other. There will always be someone taller, someone shorter, someone thinner, someone rounder, someone with brown eyes, someone with blue eyes. It can be hard to get it through to a child, but NOT being just like everyone else is really what makes us special and beautiful in our own way.
Your granddaughter will be okay...just work her through it. The world's obsession with perfect buns of steel or washboard abs isn't going away anytime soon. Set the foundation for healthy self esteem now because I can almost promise you, there will be a day when she's worried about how big her boobs are going to be. As women, we get bombarded with that too. Best wishes! I hope you get some great advice.

Well, she has probably been listening to all the ads on tv for weight loss, tv shows about obese people trying to lose weight, news reports on childhood obesity, and everyone's constant obsession with fad diets, etc. She is simply being observant of her surroundings and is picking up on all of these messages. She is probably wondering what all of this means.

Now is a great time to talk with her about healthy food choices, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, choosing water over juice, and getting plenty of exercise. In my house, we talk a lot about being strong and healthy. I try hard to avoid using words like fat and thin, because they just don't matter as long as you are eating right and exercising. Some people will go through life being a size 2, and some of us will go through life with more curves than we can handle, and there is no getting around that. I think the goal is to get your granddaughter interested in sports (or dance, or cheer) - whatever will keep her active. Girls who are involved in sports will be less likely, I think, to care about weight and will be more interested in strength, agility, and other factors like that. They will feel more confident because their bodies allow them to do all these amazing things, rather than trying to starve their bodies into non-existence. Just my two cents!

Our granddaughter told me one day that she wants to be fat when she grows up "like Daddy". Our son-in-law fights a weight problem, and of course his daughter loves him and wants to emulate him. She doesn't realize that his weight is a problem, rather than something to try to copy.
I wonder if your granddaughter might know someone she loves and respects and is saying that for the same reason? I don't think anyone should make a big issue of this, but be aware and try to use conversation that will take the emphasis off of weight issues and concentrate more on healthy bodies and good character as goals in her life. As my son told me yesteray about his overweight girlfriend... "if she weighed 500 pounds and was perfectly healthy at that weight, it wouldn't matter to me that she is fat. It's only because it is hurting her that I want her to lose weight". Once we can get that concept into our thinking I believe we can more easily counter any weight related issues our children bring to us.

Hi. I read most answers and I think all of them hold some truth. But they are missing something. It's not just in the talk of peers or role models, in commercials, etc. Models with size 0 waists are everywhere, on cereal boxes, on posters & billboards, any advertisements, and they are EVERYWHERE WE LOOK. On top of all that, BARBIE, and any other fashion doll. Shows like HANNAH MONTANA and movies about PRINCESSES. Your 5 y.o. grandbaby is involved directly or indirectly with the American fantasy of being a princess and Barbie. Or Bratz for that matter. Yes, even if she doesn't watch these things herself, she will learn of it and very negatively. And like Betty R. said, who by the way has given me very good advice (thanks agin Betty!), even though it is a big deal don't show it. Calmly use this opportunity as a teaching tool about healthy choices, what fat does to your body, the healthy reasons why it's important to have fat: for energy, to keep us warm, to turn into muscle...my friend uses the line "fat is just a part of the body waiting to get stronger and turn into muscle." This is what she told my 7 y.o. BOY when he said he was fat, and let me tell you, the boy is skiiinnnny! Well, hope this helps.