Childcare Issue- Am I Being Ridiculous?

I have to tell you the money thing is one issue, but the older girl is a whole other ball game! I WOULD NOT tolerate that for a second! you are NOT being ridiculous at all, these are you kids and they count on you to help them, ecspecially when they have to try to fend for themselves against an intimidating 10 year old!

Honestly you don't have any right to complain, you are choosing to put your child there each day and are paying for it. If you don't like the way the woman is raising your child then you should remove her from the daycare. Furthermore, I don't know many grandmother's that would watch their grandchildren and charge for doing it. I think that would be nuts. It sounds like her daughter is on hard times, the reason she moved back in there, and needs some assistance. That's what parents are for.

Bottom line is that there are things you don't like about your children being in this daycare. So why do you keep sending them there? Your options are to find another care giver, learn to accept what's happening or stay home and raise your child yourself.

It's always a tricky situation when dealing with people you've known for a long time. What do your siblings think? Is this lady maybe a little old and tired?

I would look into a more structured environment for my kids. Personally, I think at-home daycare is best for young babies and older children can greatly benefit from a program at a day care facility that offers after school activities and homework help and tutoring. I also agree with separating kids by age.

My daughter goes to Primary Learing Place (441 + Sandalfoot) they have all kinds of programs from infant care to 1st grade. They even have busses that pick up kids from their elementary schools. Second child gets 10% off tuition. The 2 year old would cost $165 a week - 10% = 148.50. I'm not sure how much you'd pay for your 6 year old, but I think the afterschool program costs $75 a week.

I hope this helps and don't take other peoples overly critical and harsh "advice" personally. If they are so perfect, why are they on this site looking for help?

I do not think you are being ridiculous. You are paying for child care, and from the sounds of it other people's child care as well. You trust that when you leave your children with this adult that she is the responsible party and that while they are at her house she assumes thier care. The 10yo child is not even old enough, according to the state, to be left alone at home in charge of herself so in no way should she be responsible for anyone else especially younger children. I absolutley would say something to the daycare provider and then I would ask about the rate increase. From the sound of it your children aren;t even getting the appropriate care at the daycare so why should the $ increase.

All of this is absoutely ridiculous. You should not put up with it for one minute. I could write a book on how obsurd all of this is. I am not sure where you live, however, I have a dear girlfriend who keeps children in her home in Lake Mary. If you need a reference, please let me know. No one should put up with any of the issues you are dealing with...and paying for!
____@____.com

First of all, YOU DO have EVERY RIGHT to complain about the cost increase and a 10 Year old CHILD disciplining your child not to mention early sexual education courses being discussed by a 10 year old!! You might want to check on WHY she knows about sex at such an early age....might be something that could save her.......

As stated by other Mothers, I agree with listening to your gut instincts. Hanging around a 10 year old that speaks of sex to your 6 year old is a huge red flag to me! I would take the whole situation and see it as a change for the better and get away.I dont know all of the facts but what you have posted this is how I would handle it. You are NOT crazy. Find an aftercare program or a well trusted, well rounded, stable individual that doesnt have extreme living conditions that will effect the growth of your little one. GOD SPEED out of there! :) Good Luck!!!
L.

Hi Amanda, just in case I have a Daycare in the east Orlando area but you should defenately take them out of there.
The Ten year old needs to be supervised at all times because there is a huge age difference there and the Kids are at total different stages. As far as you know from the outside that is all that it's happening but maybe she is having her changing or doing something with the smaller kids and that can be dangerous just follow your Mami instinct they always work.

I think all of your points are valid ones. I would think long and hard about moving them. Tough to do, but there are lots of negatives that you have mentioned. Have you talked to the daycare priovider about the 10 year old telling your daughter things that are inappropriate? That is a biggy in my book...
It doesn't sound like she will be too receptive, if she is condoning the 10 year old telling your daughter to 'go to the corner'.
Good luck...

hi, amanda...i don't think you are being rediculous, especially after watching Montell Williams last week and there was horrible stories about what can happen in a daycare. you mentioned a 10 year old "helper". does she have any other staff???because by law there is a 4 to 1 ratio. is she licensed???don't take her word for it. home daycares are bound by the same laws but only if they are licensed. i was kind of leary of home daycares for the reason that you don't know who is visiting the home. if i were you i would remove my child. you are paying her and even if she is giving you a break on the price, is the safety of your child really worth saving a few dollars??? you can contact the child care association in your area and they are very helpful at helping you find daycares that meet your criteria and can provide you with a list of questions you should be asking, even at-home daycares. take the time and do the research for your peace of mind.

Get them out. Your there mother if you don't like it you need to trust your feelings that something isn't right. If it were my kids i would get them out. Like another lady said you don't like what your being told there is no telling what your not being told. Turst your feelings.

Definately get the kid(s) out of there. I just finished my search for daycare. I contacted Childcare of SW FLorida and interviewed a bunch of people. Good luck! ALot of things here are just NOT RIGHT!

S.

This is not right at all.. You shouldn't have to pay more because her grandkids are not being paid for , this is not how you run a business .. If its hurting you , you need to speak with her and let her know you cannot afford it . Let her know thats its not fair , even though thats her grandkids , no one told her to take them on for free. It isn't fair to all the other moms who are paying for services.

Always go with your instincts! You can never be ridiculous or over react when your kids are concerned! You have very valid concerns and you should definitely voice them. Home daycares are difficult environments b/c of the mingling of ages and the "sharing of information". You should definitely look for another daycare and speak to your current babysitter about what is going on in hers.

Along the same lines some ladies here have posted. . .here it goes;
my main concern would be, with grandkids present, how much interaction can the sitter do with ky kids. I, also, disagree, with having children of different ages being taken cxare of, unless it is the parent.
The sex talk...don't get me started. My god . .
you are actually handling this pretty good, giving the sitter the benefit of the doubt. if it had been me i would have blown up pretty bad.
someone said use the Jane issue as an excuse. I agree, but i wouldn't mind telling her that the increase in pay and more kids present also aren't sitting well with you. all polite, of course, but the bottom line is, your kids need to be out of there. And yes, a 10 yr old giving someone time-out?
Good luck
V.

Children are grouped by age in most daycares and in school for a very good reason...maturity. Children should NOT be giving authority over other children in that situation...there's no telling what she (jane) might tell her to do when no one is looking....Please listen to that little voice that's telling you something isn't right...GET THEM OUT!...simply put you can get a new sitter but you can't replace your kids or their childhood memories....
God speed..

Sounds to me like you need to find another childcare situation for your children. Since these people are friends of yours, I would suggest trying to do it without a huge explosion (even though you may be feeling like you want to explode, you may regret it later). They are still likely to be upset, but that's their problem. You have to do what's best for your children. At least you will know that you tried to do everything you could to make it a smooth transition and to minimize the hard feelings.

I don't think that a 10 yr old should ever be put in the position of power that this child has been. She's already proven why it's a bad idea.

GET THEM OUT, JUST THINK, THESE ARE THE THINGS YOU KNOW ABOUT. WHAT ABOUT THE THINGS YOU ARENT BEING TOLD?????????

Amanda, you are not being ridiculous.You are only being a concern and loving mother. If you don't look out for your children , who will?I am the same way about my children, I don't like to feel like my children are being miss handled.You should voice your concerns to the childcare provider, because you are not paying the 10 year old to watch over your children.Childcare provider are nothing like they use to be(they are only in the business for the money).I am having the same situation but with a little different concern.I know how you feel. I will pray that your situation get better, but before she tell you to find another provider start looking for one.

oh no I would be right there with you on this one.

Amanda,
I am in total agreement with you. That is rediculous! I think the childcare rates went up exactly for the reason you stated, and I DO NOT think that little 10 year old girl should be telling ANYBODY what to do. The fact that she has the authority to do so in the first place is really upsetting. Not to mention her filling your daughters head with God knows what. I would sit down and talk to your sitter. If she can't be understanding to your feelings as a paying customer and friend, then I would look else where.

M.

I feel you need to find a new daycare for your children. Its obviously not a good environment for your kids. Also, I have a friend who owns her own daycare at home, she says it regulated and very strickly on who is around the children. It doesn't allow people other than the childcare workers around the children and is fined when its found that "others" have been around them. You should look into that.

Amanda,

I have 3 children and I have one rule when it comes to child care. Trust your instinct!!!! If you are uncomfortable with the situation, then talk with the childcare provider. If she doesn't understand and resolve the problem, then I would find a new place.

You need to trust your instincts. Get things lined up before you blow up. You want to be calm cool and collected when you leave since you might still be in touch with them. Blame it on the clash with the 10 year old and move on. Don't burn your bridges in case you might want to use her services once in a while.

good luck,
LaurieK
www.mymonavie.com/LaurieK

I can certainly understand your frustration. I would be too. However, I don't feel you should be upset and hold a gruge against the 10 year old girl. She is just a child and is only doing what she is allowed to get away with. I would be very concerned about the quality of child care that takes place. I get the feeling that this 10 year old has been given more responsibility than you are probably seeing and hearing about. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound as if things would change if you were to have a talk with the woman of the house as she seems overloaded now with her grandchildren. As hard and difficult as it may be, I would suggest finding another daycare. Good luck!

As everyone has said, listen to your gut. A 10 year old should have no authority over your child. First off she is not of legal age to even babysit her own siblings, and should not be doing the child care providers job. The state has laws in place concerning how many children can be in a home childcare, how many care providers (not 10 year olds) should be there, how much the provider is supposed to charge for care, how the childcare should be ran, etc. It sounds like she is not following many of these laws. I would look for another childcare, and do plenty of research, visit, check their regulations, standard schedule, pay, etc. Take the kids with to see what they like also. I know it can be very expensive. Try checking some of the preschool/day-cares. Some of the Christian ones are a little cheaper then the popular daycares, although they don't all stay open full time. You could also try to find another friend that is more trustworthy and has the time to care for your children. I have both of mine in a local Christian preschool, for quite a bit less then the regular day-cares I have checked into, and I have friends from church and school that help me out when the preschool is closed (I have a night class). I visit the preschool often so I know how things are ran and can make sure all is going well.

Good luck, and sorry for your unfortunate situation.
V. brown

If you feel unhappy about were your child is being cared for than you know in your heart it is time to find a new place for them to be. Just research around ask any of your friends, or co-workers if they know of a good child care place. Your children should always feel happy and comfortable. They look up to you to make sure you are giving them that. So as a good parents we have to make sure our children's welfare comes first.

Trust your gut. If your mommy instincts say there is something wrong, then there is something wrong. Find a new daycare.

Also, I have had my share of little kids I didn't like for the same reasons as you have, and more. Don't feel bad, you are not alone in that area. :) Not all kids are angels.

Amanda, do yourself and your children a favor and find a new daycare! You are not over reacting at all. I have been down this road and unless you see it getting better then, just leave. It doesn't sound like a good environment that you would want for your kids to be in. Go with your gut! Good luck

Mom's know when something just isn't right, and it sounds like your mommy senses are tingling...I strongly advise you to call around and see what the going rates are at other daycares. If you are paying more, than you have a reason to be upset. Tell your provider that you love her dearly, but your budget just can't handle the increase. You'll have to go for more affordable care. Do not allow her to manipulate you because of your personal relationship--tell her simply that this is a business decision, not a personal one.
As for the other issue, I would definitely put my foot down and let the woman know that I could not tolerate a ten-year, old with less than perfect behaviour herself, doling out discipline to my children.

I just had to respond to this posting. I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. I also think this girl has too much influence around these kids. There will be times when you will not have control of your child learning things too early but it SHOULD NOT be in a daycare facility! This is a controlled environment; it's not an unsupervised playground. It'd be Ok for "Jane" to be a playmate or help out in other areas but she should not have the task of disciplining and having important discussions with your child. This girl's intentions don't seem like those of a caring, honest and noble child. Kids have different dispositions and it seems like this girl has a more mischievous personality, which is normal for her age but I certainly would not want my younger child to emulate someone like her. If you can afford it, you should definitely remove your children from that situation.

Get your children out of that environment ASAP. There are plenty of great nursery schools and daycares out there.

Pam