Child's Rights

A court appointed guardian ad liem or a CASA volunteer would be the best way to go. If your daughter is in school, talk with her on-site counselor or your pediatrician about her behavior. Maybe they can talk with her with you outside the room so she feels free to express her feelings without hurting yours. Kids have a way of being more 'adult' in a divorce than the adults. It may be her way of coping with her dad's absence. I can remember when my kids wouldn't talk to their Poppa on the phone when he was gone fishing in Alaska for the summers. They loved and missed him dearly, but if they didn't talk to him they didn't have to 'acknowledge' he was gone, they could 'punish' him for not being home with them, and they weren't reminded of his absence, because it hurt. When he came home in August after being gone for 3 months they couldn't get enough of him or he them. Sounds like Dad is missing his daughter, all of his kids quite a bit, just as you would if the roles were reversed. Divorce is not easy on anyone. See if he can send a digital picture frame filled with pictures of him with the kids. Ask him to send cards, letters, pictures of himself and things that he's doing now, and they can send similar things back to him. You're going to have to be very supportive of this activity, because you will always have a relationship with this man, just not a marriage. Your kids are the ties that continue to bind you and no divorce will severe them. I wish you and all your kids well.

J....ask the court to appoint a CASA volunteer to your case. This is a Court Appointed Special Advocate who is the eyes and ears of the court on behalf of your child. They represent the child's interests only. It shouldn't cost you anything (or maybe like a $40 fee I can't remember). I've been a CASA volunteer for 9 years and it's a wonderful program.

Good luck!

L.

Apart from finding an attorney for your daughter, please consider getting her couseling. I know you may think if she does not want to talk to her Dad, it should be her right, but really she is not old enough to make such a decision.

My parents went through a nasty divorce that was followed by years of silence and I too was mad at my dad and refused to see him.
He died when I was 19. We had reconciled before he passed away, but in retrospect I wish my mom would have made me see him regularly so I would have had more time with him.

Good luck.

Where do you live? Try the local law school. Many students are looking for pro bono work and have the support from lawyers that have lots of experience. If you are near Spokane Gonzaga has a wonderful program.

I have no advice for you, but I wish you good luck and I will pray for you. Be strong!

Why don't you have your child e-mail her dad telling him why she doesn't want to talk to him. Let him respond and you can read it to her. Or maybe if you tape record her you can send it and he can help her to find a way to not be so angry. The tape is probably better since it will be in her voice, her words and she maybe to young for e-mail.

C.