J.,
First of all it is good that you realize that your relationship is wrong. That should tell you that it needs to end. As for hurting his wife and children --- your already have even though they don't know about the relationship. He gives you money each month and that is taken from his family. You don't thimk his wife will eventually get wise? Is it fair to your child to be without? And beleive me she will once she gets older. $200 a month is not going to cut it. Eventually he woun't be able to afford that either.
Not to mention that she will not be able to see him on a regular basis. What about the holidays? You will be celebrating alone. Why hurt yourself and your daughter anymore?
Step up to the plate -- stop the affair!
You have two choices:
1. Reveal the affair and the fact that he is the father of your daughter and go to court for child support. Before telling him --- make sure to see an attorney. You never know what he is capable of when his home life is threatened.
or
2. Raise you daughter on your own.
If you choose option #1 --- a lot of people will be hurt but --he has probably done this before to his wife and he will do it again. Put yourself in her place ---- wouldn't you want the truth?
If you choose option #2 --- Never see him again and don't allow him to see your daughter. If possible --- move and start over. It will be difficult but you really need to be fair to everyone invovled. Later in life she will have questions and you can be honest with her and tell her that you made a mistake by having the affair but let her know that she was worth everything. Give her the love of both parents.
Life will go on and as for the love --- obviously he is not leaving his family so you need to start your own. It will hurt a lot but time has a way of healing the pain. You will be much better off.
God Bless and best of luck,
C. (____@____.com)
