Child Last Name Change, Need Help!!!

C.-
I believe the only thing you can do is to have your husband adopt you daughter, and that sounds like it might be a problem with her father. I have a 7 year old that is not biologically my husbands, and that is what we had to do.

I'm pretty sure the only way you can legally chang eher last name is if your husband adopts her and he can only do that if a. her father legally gives up his rights or b. you prove he is an unfit parent and legally have them take away.

When I divorced my kids bio-dad I kept my married (and my kids) last name. When I remarry I am planning on hyphenating my two last names.

These things have a way of coming back to bite you later. I'd go with the truth, as uncomfortable as it is. Many families these days have children with different last names. I know of many. No one needs to know the circumstances of her birth nor should they ask. For all people know, the name belonged to her dad who was your first husband. I'd be truthful with your daughter and the school. It will come out and the fact that you lied will hurt your daughter far more than the facts that represent the truth about her and your family. If she were adopted by your husband, of course you could change the name - but she's not.

Does her Father pay child support and have legal rights? If so then legally there is nothing you can do unless he either agrees to changing the name or he gives up all rights and your husband adopts her. Just remember if he does drop his rights then he is no longer responsible for her in any way which includes any visits and financial support including child support. It sounds like he is now trying to be part of her life so I wouldn't think that would be a great idea to take him away from her. A lot of kids from the same household have different names these days. One idea is to change your name if you feel that strongly about it. You could hyphen your name. Honestly I wouldn't go through the trouble. It's only as big as a deal as you make it. Most kids don't even know their friends last name for a few years. Good luck!

As Maribeth said, if her Bio dad is paying support there is nothing you can do. i tried this a couple years back when my son was 13 and asked us to. He has my maiden name and my husband has been his dad since he was 2. His bio dad didn't even come around until he was 4 then stopped again when he was 11. Even though he doesn't see him his support is garnished so as long as I get it there is nothing I can do. The court said if I go 1 year with no money or not seeing/hearing from him I can ask for the judge to rule.

If you have full custody, I think it's your decision. If the law says otherwise, I would think that making a decision that makes sense and causes less confusion for your daughter should take precidence.
Consult with an attorney.

My sister went through this and it is EXACTLY the way Sandra A states. You fill out the paperwork,they put the request in the paper and anyone who opposes it can come to court the same day you go.

With the father not being listed on the birth certificate, it's easy because you can say you don't know who he is and therefore he can't contest it.

Good luck.

We had the same situation. We simply went to Oakland County, applied for the name change, had a hearing in front of a judge and the name change was granted. My daughter had my last name, not her bio dad's. The judge asked me why we were requesting the change. We stated that we wanted her to feel unity with the family. We didn't want her to feel excluded or different. I also stated that I wanted my daughter to share the same last name as myself. My reasoning behind that was not only emotional, but for less confusion with everything public (ie: school, sports, doctors, etc). The biological father has the right to come to the hearing to protest. But considering his last name is not involved, I highly doubt he'd have a leg to stand on. He would be there on purely selfish reasons and the judge would most likely overrule his objections.
I wouldn't listen to those who tell you to leave her name alone. You are her mother and if you feel this way, you should definitely follow your heart. I did and I'm thrilled with my decision. We've since had three more children and I'd hate to think of her being the only one who doesn't share a common name (even with her father's family). Her father obviously didn't like the change, but he got over it. It's been four years and he still picks her up every other weekend.
It's a fairly quick, painless and inexpensive process. Good luck to you and your family.

J.

C., there are many, many children whose last name is different than their parents. I have two children in school and this is not an issue at all. The children will not know that your last name is different than your daughter's. Most children will call you 'child's name' Mom (ex. Wil's Mom). By 2nd grade they started calling me Mrs. But only because that's how I was introduced. Kids are growing up with friends with divorced parents or parents with different last names. My friend did not take her husband's name when they married. Young children don't judge like that. When they are older they judge eachother for other reasons but I have never ever heard my kids question or say anything bad about a child because their last name was different than their parents'. Leave it alone. If your daugher wants to change it later than discuss the issue then. If you make it a big deal, so will she. Good Luck

I had my last name changed from my dad's to my mom's when I was about 8 years old. I just remember that we went to court, stood in front of a judge and he asked me if that was what I wanted. Now, my birth father was not in the picture at all so he didn't fight this. First my mom asked me if I wanted to change my name, then the judge. It was completely my choice. I'm sure that it is different in every state but I would try it if I were you; first see what your daughter wants.

It will have to be changed on the birth certificate. I'd contact your county records office and ask them how to change the name.

I have a similar circumstance with my oldest and we ended up hyphenating her last name. It doesn't show on her b.c. but we use it as an "alias" for school, medical records, etc.

This is thorny. If her biological father won't agree and he has been involved in the child's life in the last 2 years, he can object. To change her name you would file a petition in the county court in which you live. You have to send him a copy of your petition and see if he objects. I am an attorney and can help if you want or you can try it yourself.

I did this last January for my now 10yr old. When I married my sons dad he stated my name would be the same as the boys. That left my then 8 yr old odd man out. We asked her if she could would she want to change her name.
We filed the paperwork and her dad who is not in the pic regularly got notice that if he wanted to object he could. He and he's dad stated they were both going to object. However, on court date they failed to show. My daughter got what she wanted and it made her feel better.
It does nothing to the natural father rights. He still has them as long as it's not an adoption just a name change. I think in Kent Co. it cost about 260(for all the filing, fees, required notices and court costs)and took about a month and a half.

I hope this helps. My Ex husband had a son before he was with me and the mother put her last name as the babys. Well as the boy got older my ex husband wanted his last name to be the same. Both parents had to agree (which souldn't be a problem since your childs father isn't on the birth cert.) and the father (who ever wants it done) has to pay for it and the new copy of the birth cert. and SS card. It really didn't take that long either.

From personal experience and from experience of others I know...when the father is not involved or is not paying child support they don't get much of a say in it. You do have to petition but it might be easier than you think. I personally haven't done that because I have a son and he is older and has both of our names. You could hyphen I suppose. My son has my maiden name and his dad's last name and in school he does write H-name on his paper and no one makes a fuss. It's too long!

Call the courthouse and ask what you should do and just start the process until you come to a snag, which could be dad...

good luck

I raised my sister-in-law daughter from 3 days old and she came home one day and told me that she wanted her last name changed to mine and my husband. I petition the courts (probate) and I had a court date and her name was changed. I think they put it in the paper and send sometime to her mom....if she could be find.....but her name was changed and she was HAPPY!!!!

Okay - without all of the emotional blah blah.
a. You don't need an attorney
b. I assure you your child will APPRECIATE having the same last name as you and the rest of the family.
c. Don't tell hardly-there dad what your intentions are - in fact TELL NO ONE. People are too opinionated and have big mouths! None of their business.
First get the ppwrk for a name change from your county court house. Fill it out and do what it says. By law what you and your child's name will be put in the local newspapers announcing what you're going to do and if there's anyone who has something to say about it they'll have to go to the court the same day that you do. If you tell the court you don't know the child's father (or who it is) the judge should just sign the ppwrk. Unless you're receiving child support. Even if the father shows up the judge determines the outcome. Make sure you're well prepared for any and all questions the judge might have for you, i.e. why, how much is hardly there is around, etc. Don't be emotional (looks terrible in the courtroom) and be positive.
I did it, my son is sooo happy about it. It was VERY EASY and NOT ONE PROBLEM!

C.,

My cousin was in a similiar situation a few years ago. He married a woman who already had children. While he never formally adopted them they did legally change the kids last name so everyones was the same. I do know that the biological father was not involved in the kids lives though.

You may want to consult a family attorney to find out if your kids dad can contest this. Good luck.

I have to wonder ~ if the biological father's name is not on the birth certificate, does he have any rights at all to fight a name change?

Probably what needs to happen, is her dad (your husband) needs to adopt her. How exciting! That would be a logical reason to change her last name too! When we adopted our son, his name change was part of the process.

S.

As a former teacher, I can tell you that unless you get all your legal documents together the school has to use her legal name, not the one you want. They may use the name you prefer, but in my experience they wouldn't do a thing until you produced (I think it was a birth certificate) with the name change. Although, this was for name changes that occurred after the child was enrolled. I think you have to petition a judge for the change. I do know that in the past the parents I worked with had to file a lot of paperwork and it took many many months (sometimes the entire school year) to get it straightened out. This was not in MI though!

Won't "let" her name be the same as your husbands? In my opinion, if her biological dad isn't even on the birth certificate and hasn't been in her life till just recently, he doesn't really have a say in the matter. As far as legality goes, I can't comment on that, but I think your husband would have to legally adopt her to give his name. I would consult a lawyer. Since your husband has been her father figure pretty much her whole life, I would see what you could do to have her take his last name. Good luck!

I would find a lawyer that will give you a free consultation and find out legally what your options are. Can you change her last name without her biological dad's permission? Can that be done without your husband adopting her? Something to think about - is her biological dad the type of dad that you would care if you hurt his feelings or not.

This is from the perspective of how your child may feel. Her father is her father, and she will grow up loving him wether or not he is in her life consistantly. The last name may not mean much to her at this young age, but it is her given name for a reason. I lost my father a year ago, my parents divorced when i was 3. Even though my father was not in my life consistantly, I loved him and wanted to have contact with him. I was offered a chance to change my last name when I was in 3rd grade (to take the name of my mom's new husband), and I felt like they were trying to take something away from me that was "mine". Your child may not understand what this means now, but I would let her be proud of her name and who she is and try to facilitate any contact you can with her father. It really isn't a big deal that your kids have different names, my little sister and I do and we never got made fun of for it. There are so many blended families out there, this is really common. In the end I know you will do what you feel is best, but remember that there is a tremendous amount of pride in a name-she needs to feel it is okay to have the name she has.

You just have to go to the courts and have a legal name change hearing the judge will ask you a few questions and her name will be legally chnaged She DOES NOT have to be adopted by your current husband anyone can change their name to anything they want You have to go down and fill out a form and pay the court fee and they will give you a court date They will publish the name change in the paper as a public notice (which I'm sure no one reads anyway!) It's really easy