Celebrating Birthdays Every Year with a Party??

Beside annual family celebrations, we do a kid/classmate party every other year beginning at age 5. On the off years, they get to do something special/smaller with a friend such as a trip to the movies.

The whole party thing can get alittle out of hand, IMO.

Good luck.

I can see only inviting a handful of kids to a party. I loved to have parties for my kids. Sometimes men are just sticks in the mud. Have a party!!

No I think you should be able to have a party with friends, especially since they are getting older etc. I would do a party with everyone so that no one is left out. Or I wouldn't include the kids in preschool and just have it with her friends outside of preschool.

Some of my fondest memories are the great birthday party's my mom and dad put together every year for me. They were simple. Just cake, ice cream, games and friends and everyone always seemed to have a great time! My son has had a party every year as well. He has three or four friends over to swim, eat pizza, cake, ice cream, and play games. He will be nine this year so it will be a little different. He want's to have a sleep over. I say have a party!!! Make them feel even more special on their special day. They are only this age once! :) Whatever you decide...Have fun!

We always do parties every year. Most years its just with a few neighborhood friends. Although every year I do send in frosted cookies or cupcakes to my kids daycare classes. That way all of the daycare friends get to participate too, without having to come to my house.

Last year my son asked for a big class party cuz we had never had one. I said okay, only 4 of the 20 kids showed up, the rest were neighbors. My daughter had a big party last year too, because it was on Halloween. This year my son just had 6 friends over, and my daughter will do the same.

M.

we do birthday parties, and I grew up having birthday parties every year. My husband never had birthday parties and always talks about how he wished his parents had done what we now do for our daughter. I say have the party, you don't have to go overboard, but just let the kids have fun and allow your daughter to enjoy her special day. I would suggest that you not send the birthday invitations to school if you are not inviting the whole class, instead get the addresses of those students. I know at our daughter's preschool if all the kids are not invited then you cannot pass the invitations out at school. Hope you have fun planning the party and decide to let your little girl have her one day a year to party down with her friends! ;-)

I always had b day parties as a kid and once we hit 21, it was just mom and dad and sis going forward. My husbands mother was a Jahova's witness and didn't believe and or celebrate birthdays. My son is 7. The 1st 3 yrs were family parties the last 4, fam and his school friends. His school policy is all or no-one as far as handing out invites in class. He has a great time and now that he is older he really gets involved in planning and themes. Some form of super hero these past few years(lol). Tell hubs you just want to celebrate as much for your kids as for yourselves , your anniversary of giving birth to your wonderful kiddies.

Yep, we do a party every year. But I also enjoy doing it. And I like looking at the pictures. (By the way, we always ask for no gifts or suggest a charitable donation in lieu of gifts. Some people bring them anyway, some don't. But we're not having the party for the gifts.)

My perspective is that 1.) birthdays are big deals to young children. Adults may no longer think so, but having a birthday is a huge deal for a child's self-confidence and identity; 2.) I do think that parties which invite all the kids in a classroom tend to encourage a more inclusive message about friendship instead of exclusive. Especially for young children, I think its important that she receive the message that she is expected to be friends with everyone in the class. 3.) At age 4, I honestly don't know who her closest friends are at pre-school. If I had to invite them individually, I'd leave someone out.

I do understand the aspect of budget. And I understand not wanting all the kids at your house. Birthdays at a park aren't that expensive, but you do need to be creative in what games to play and make an extra effort for someone to get there early enough to hold the spot (and hope for good weather). Some HOAs have a pool house or community house that can be reserved for cheap.

Last year, we pooled the birthdays that occur all at the same time and had a 'trifecta' birthday party for 3 birthday girls (all from the same class) at the same time... same place, three cakes, split the costs.

First, I really believe that when they are younger if you are going to invite a few people from class you need to invite them all. They are young and they WILL talk about the party in class and around the other kids. Imagine how those uninvited kids will feel.

As for parties...I had something every year up until 5. After 5 we switch off so 1 kid has a friend party 1 year, the other the next year. But, we always do a party with our families and close family friends.

I think when they are little a birthday party every year is nice. Once they start getting around 8-10 years old then smaller parties like sleep overs with a few friends is nice. My daughter is in 2nd grade and I noticed that birthday parties are not such a big deal for her or her friends anymore. They start to want more and start getting the choice of do you want a birthday party or that more expensive present?

A.) We didn't start friend-parties until our son(s) was 4. Before that it was just family gatherings at our house for fun, pizza, cake & ice cream.
B.) We tried having birthday parties every year but stopped after 3 years and now have an-every-other-year policy. Meaning, one year you get the big blow out at Grand Slam with all your friends and the next year a small family party. We are seeing other parents do this as well...Tho as the kids get older, letting the birthday boy host his own super low key birthday sleep over every year seems to be the norm.
C.) We always invited all kids from class until 3rd grade when we noticed a move toward boy-only invites. Then, we invited all boys to the event part of the party and his very best friends to the sleep-over part.

For my daughter, I think it would be fun to skip a year between parties. For her 1st birthday we had a big party with family and friends. For her second birthday I think my husband and I will take her somewhere special like Disneyland or something. A party every year would be fun too, if that is what you and your family wants. =)

We don't have parties every year and I don't plan on doing so in the future. With me, it's not so much a financial thing as it is a realization that it's more important to celebrate milestones with family. We do and have had parties in the past, but none were so fun as my oldest boy's most recent birthday. We went to the local bowling alley with just mom, dad and brother.
As far as your question, I think that it's inconsiderate for you not to consider your husbands point of view. You will need to come to a compromise with him instead of "pushing the FACT" that you believe that children deserve a party every year. There should be some reasonable compromise that you can come to.

We don't have "parties" every year for our kids. Our reason is budget.
When my kids were that young, like yours, we did not have "parties" for them. Lots of my friends were the same way.... only until their kids were in Preschool or Elementary school, did they have birthday "parties" for their kids.

Once my daughter was in preschool... at about 3.5 years old, we did not have a "party" but just with ourselves at home, and making it special decorating the house and making her gifts hiding it around the house like a treasure hunt.

Some of the kids had parties, but they also celebrate each child's birthday IN school. And then the parents would bring in cupcakes or something for the class. Thereby, it is a celebration party, there.

To me, it is not about inviting the WHOLE entire class. It is not practical nor necessary. You could just invite the boys or the girls or your child's friend(s). It can just be 2-3 kids. Not a whole bunch of them. That is not the point. MANY parents do that.

The Teacher, when parents disperse the birthday "invitations"... ask that it be given to THEM, not the child themselves, in class because the other kids will feel left out and notice. The Teacher then "gives" the invitation to the Parent.... privately. That is what MOST Teachers do... AND "request" that parents do. It is just "rude" to have your child or you, give out the invitations to the kids yourselves, because inevitably, the kids will know and see you doing that. And if not all the kids are invited, it leaves hurt feelings.

Also, just because the other kids/parents invites the WHOLE class, it does NOT mean that you have to do the same things. That is not a precedent to follow. You do what you want to do...

At a certain age/point.... kids will LOVE to have a birthday PARTY. So, your Husband has to acknowledge that. It is part of growing up... and of creating cherished memories/traditions for the child. But, keep in mind, that once they are in Elementary school... it will become more so, and a child will then want/expect a party. So you have to deliberate that....

My daughter is now 7, and last year we did not have a "party" for her. It was just our budget. We weren't able to. We explained that to her. It was fine and she was fine about it and it was NO problem. For my son, he is only 3.5 years old, we have not yet had a "party" for him... but just as a family we celebrated in a special way. And he was happy.

It is not about a "party" all the time for every single year. Or it can be just with 2-3 friends. And then you and your Hubby.

You are not out of line... with your beliefs about it. But, your Hubby has different ideas. At your kids young ages, they will not be in angst if they do not have a "party" party. BUT, I DO believe that a child's Birthday, SHOULD be "celebrated" and it should be a SPECIAL day for them. Not just another ordinary day. A kid, deserves that special day. Party or not.

all the best,
Susan

Hi M., I did not read the prior posts but will give my 2 cents on this. I have NEVER invited my kids classmates to our house or anywhere for that matter for their birthdays. And they have NEVER asked. We have a party with our family at either our house or a location. The kids take cupcakes and have a "party" at school with their classmates. I don't know why parents invite kids from the school. I have never done it. That's just what we do and my kids are 14, 10 and 7, so we have had a lot of bdays so far! So good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hello, I have always believed that everyone of us has the right to have our very own special day of the year. Our kids had birthday parties until the decided to stop having them. Apparently your husband has his special day with his friends, so why should it be different with your girls? As our kids got older, their "parties" became smaller until they would decide to just take a friend to a special place to celebrate. Keep in mind that if you invite the whole class, a lot of them will probably not show up. We always were ready to entertain all of them, but never had to.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

A child may not have a blow out party each year, but at least a celebration of some sort.

Our daughter has a mid summer birthday so sometimes everyone was on vacation so we would hold the party later in the summer right before school started.

They were not great big parties, but definitely cake , gifts, friends in attendance. As she got older we would ask her how she wanted to celebrate. It varied from going out for pizza with her friends, sleepover, bit always friends. cake and gifts..

We have a "party" every year, whether it is a family gathering (with extended family), a party with family AND classmates AND family friends or a party w/ family and family friends. But every year a party for sure. It's a celebration! I think my parents threw me three birthday parties when I was a child and I feel like I got jipped!

Also, I think at age 4, if you are going to be inviting anyone from her preschool class, you have to invite them all, boys and girls. Don't leave anyone out :)

Neither of you is out of line, but from experience here, I would find some compromise with your husband so that he does not feel like his opinion does not matter. What matters is that the two of you come up with something that works for YOUR family, not who is right and who is wrong.

Plenty of kids have a party every year, but many don't have one every year. There is not a "right way" to do it.

Be careful too, you may end up hurting feelings by only inviting a few kids. You cannot prevent them from talking about thier birthday party at school, not a thing you can do about it, and in a few years, that kind of thing can turn nasty in a heartbeat.

We don't have a party every year, and there is nothing wrong with that. I would personally jump at the chance to combine father daughter party so that there was a mixture of families and your whole family had a good time together with other families. That kind of socializing is a fabulous experience for young families to have, some of my very favotie memories of my kids childhoods was at parties we had with other families like this. We had one for our 2 year old once, it was a huge hit. Older kids, younger, babies, a bunch of Moms and Dads with plenty to talk about. You might want to expand how you think to see that there are other ways.

M.

In my family we always did something special for birthdays and so I continue that with my kids. I think of it not only as a celebration of the child's birth, but also that both child and parents made it successfully through another year, so it's also a celebration for us parents.

For first birthdays we go ALL out. Rent the hall, invite EVERYONE, catering, etc.

For my kids 2nd we did parties in the park with family and friends (about 40 people).

For my kids 3rd birthdays we did parties in the park and invited family, friends, and preschool friends and their families. This year was my dd's 3rd birthday and we had 70 people attend! We have lots of relatives! But it was worth it. She enjoyed it and LOVED the bounce house we rented.

For my son's 4th birthday, he was taking Tae Kwon Do lessons so his teacher offered to host a Tae Kwon Do party for him at the practice studio. We invited our closest friends, family and my son's preschool friends. I think all of his preschool friends showed up. It was a blast!

For my son's 5th birthday in Feb we invited our closest friends (my two best friends and their families) and my parents, my sister, DH's parents, and DH's sister and hubby to Disneyland. That was our first time there with the kids. Everyone was responsible for their own accomodations and but we would take everyone out for a nice birthday dinner for my son and pay for one day park admission for everyone. But only my parents and sis could make it. One of my best friends met us there with her two kids the second day because they had Disney passes, so we just bought them dinner.

My dd's 3rd birthday was at the end of April and I am already thinking of ideas for her 4th birthday next year. I am thinking of inviting 2 or 3 of her girl friends from preschool, and our closest friends daughters and moms over for a mani/pedi girly party and do a make your own pizza bar in my kitchen where the girls can help their Moms make pizza. I think by age 4 your daughter will know who she wants to invite to her party and it's okay to invite only those kids that she is closest to. I would just hand those invitations directly to the parent and let them know you aren't inviting the whole class, only the kids that your daughter is the closest to. There have been parties for other preschool kids that my kids haven't been invited to and I wasn't offended. But some parents get very offended if only a few kids are invited (especially if their kid is one that wasn't invited). Everyone's budget is different, everyone's party theme is different and everyone thinks of birthday celebrations differently. I generally like to invite everyone, but I believe that each birthday celebration should be tailored to the birthday child and what they like or are comfortable with. So some years we have a big party, some years a small party, and some years no party at all (but another celebration like going to Disneyland).

We also celebrate their actual birthday just the 4 of us. Since their birthdays usually fall on a weekday, we have their parties on the weekend. Then on their birthday we sing "Happy Birthday" to them all day long, I make a small cake or cupcakes that we eat after dinner complete with birthday candles, and I usually have a few small gifts for them to open. They get to open their one "big" present at the party.

I say you should celebrate your daughters birthdays in whatever way you can afford, and in whatever way makes your girls feel special on their one day. The most important thing is that they have fun at their own celebration.

I vote for bday parties every year. what better excuse to have a party and invite friends and have fun?? i'm sure your daughters will feel special that way!

Growing up we DIDN'T have a big party every year. Not many of my friends did either. Maybe one or 2 parties over the years. But then, there were 3 of us kids and times were tighter-- or maybe people just lived more within their means than a lot of people do today...
Anyway... We have 2 kids. We only had family until they turned 5. Each child got to have a "big blowout" party for their 5th birthday. We try to do a party with friends about every OTHER year. The in between years we ask them what they want. My daughter picked going to play putt-putt with cake and ice cream after, with just family. My son chose a single friend to go to Summer Waves with our family for the day, then spending the night after.
Also... our kids' birthdays are less then 3 weeks apart. So having 2 big blowouts is a real hassle to do so close together every year... so alternate years works out fairly well.

You do whatever works best for your family. Personally, I get a little worn out of all the birthday parties my kids are invited to. Sometimes it seems like EVERY OTHER WEEK there is a birthday party to go to... geesh. And all those $15 birthday presents for other kids add up over the course of a year. Our kids are finally getting a little older where it isn't quite as big of a deal (one's a 6th grader).. and they only invite their actual friends.

I have been very happy with the alternate year arrangement. Maybe that is a compromise that might work for your household?

In my humble opinion ;)

If the kids shoudn't have a party with their friends...why should your husband have friends over? If a family party is "enough" for them, it's enough for him too.

There's nothing wrong with celebrating YOU. That's how we do birthdays, its the only day that is actually dedicated to you and only you. If you want a party and they want a party--A PARTY THERE SHALL BE!

My husband doesn't see the need either, but I just guide him to what he needs to do and ask him to put a smile on. If he doesn't want a party, he doesn't have to have one but dammit WE DO!

Birthday parties are fun! Why not let your kids decide whether or not they want a party?

We celebrate birthdays each year too, but our rule is the parties are limited to family only until the reach 5 years old. I know school require that you invite every kids, but my rule of thumb is 1 kid for every year of age. My daughter just turned 5 so she invited 5 friends. I did not hand them out in school. I waited for the parents to drop their kids off at her preschool and I handed them out as the parents were returning to their car.

I'm terrible - we don't have big parties for my son. I did one for his 1st birthday because it was his first birthday - invited over 50 people, and more came to that one - I was so stressed out. His 2nd and 3rd birthday not so much - I just basically let it pass - my husband and I had cupcakes for him on his 3rd birthday. His 4th birthday - we did a BBQ for the family get together. But I think with this next one he will be 5 and I would like to do something cool for him since it's a milestone. It will be interesting since his birthday is in January.
Growing up we didn't have parties - I didn't have a real bbq party with friends until my 18th birthday - sad huh? So, all in all - I am really clueless on throwing these kinds of parties - they stress me out so bad - I'd rather just hide in a corner and call it a day.

So - If you want to do them every year - go for it...if not - I wouldn't look down on you at all one bit.

We live close to my family so we have a family party every year. When I was younger, we were allowed to have only one friend party. I beleive this was a finacial decision because my mom had seven children. My husband on the other hand had a friend party every year and wants the children to also. However, he never helps plan it nor even participates so I'm stuck doing it by myself every year. Oops! Didn't mean to rant.
My rule for friend parties is one friend per age ie 7 friends if they are turning 7, 11 for turning 11. As my son gets older though, I may have to revise that. I can't imagine having 15 15-year-olds in my house.
I (so far) haven't had an issue only inviting a few of the children in the class.

Here is what I have learned over the years with parties for my kids. With my first I was part of a large Moms group. I just had a small family party for age 1. At age 2, it was family and Moms group friends. At age 3, I invited famliy, Moms group friends and preschool friends--20+ kids and their parents. It was overwhelming for my son... he had a tantrum and would not even blow out the candles. That is when I "wised" up and realized that was not worth it. From then on I have scaled the parties down to the children they actually play with and enjoy. It is their day, make it fun, not overwhelming. It has been less stressful for all of us. Happy Birthday!

As I write this, my 15 year old is having a slumber party with her friends after a movie out last night for her birthday. My kids have had parties since they turned 1! I love having parties, and my kids love them too. We know lots of kids who don't have them too, so it's just a personal choice. We don't get extravagent, but we do fun things. They usually invite about 10-12 kids, the ones they are most close to. Good luck!

My son just turned 7...we had his first friends birthday party this year. I only invited 6 boys over to play and we had a blast but (if I can avoid it) it is not something I want to do every year. On the other hand, my son gets a party with family every year. Somewhere between 10 and 40 people depending on the weekend and what's going on. I feel that is enough and we can have friends over another time just to play. I don't want him to think people should come and bring him gifts that he doesn't even need. This year we actually did a donation to an animal shelter instead of gifts. It worked out great!