S.T.
First take a deep breath. You live in America - we have the best medical system in the world - no matter what politicians like to say to prove their points. Even people without medical insurance get life saving medical care.
Second - consider the absolute worse case scenario and then realize it is probably not that - so remove that option from your mind and thoughts.
My sister is a nurse practitioner involved with kideny transplants. She's worked in this field for more than 30 years - which leads me to:
Third -the most wonderful thing about kidneys is that you have 2 of them - and you only need one. So even if the very worse thing happened and they had to remove a kidney you would still have a full kidney to do the work your body needs done. I have two friends who donated their kidneys and now live with one. There is nothing you would notice about them to lead you to believe they have less than the number of kidneys they were born with.
Fourth - from what I know about RCC - renal cancer - almost all kidney cancer are easily taken care of by resection - or surgical removal of the tumor - leaving the kidney almost completely intact - plus keeping the unaffected kidney.
Fifth - all cancer treatments and surgery has improved so very dramatically in the last 5-10 years that things that used to be awful are now survivable. And this particular cancer - if it is RCC - it very curable. Years ago my brother had a tumor on his thyroid. He was only 20. They told him - if you have to have cancer this is the one to have - because it's curable. Yes I know it sounds wierd - but my feeling has always been - take it out if you can remove the cancer. Somethings you can't remove - this you can.
Sixth - you live in PA - you have a couple of really good university hospital centers within a reasonable drive - Robert Woods Johnson in New Brunswick, NJ; U of Penn Medical center in Philadelphia and Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC. You can access the best medical care in the world - see the doctors that rich people travel across the globe to see for treatment. Assuming your insurance allows you - plan to get treatment at one of these excellent centers
Finally - pray - ask God for discernment, for peace, for His presence in your decision making process. Ask Him to smooth the path, to simplify your appointment making process. During the days when you can go to doctors and gather information you'll be on automatic pilot. At night when you have time to think, or wake up in the middle of the night your mind will go to horrible places. When your mind wanders - pray. Instead of counting sheep, talk to the shepherd.
Some practical advise - call your insurance company - they probably have a case management department or nurse helpline. Ask for their advice, - see if they have any "centers of excellence" set up. Some of the larger insurance companies have special arrangements with the doctors who do the most procedures and have the best results. You'd rather have surgery done by a doctor whose done thousands of the same procedure than a guy who's done 25. Don't feel limited however to what the isnruance company suggests. but I can tell you - the big insurers work only with the best surgeons for stuff liek this - cuz they want to minimize complications and get you healthy - it's a financial decision but it's also good for the patient. Ask for help - if friend offers "call me if I can help in any way" - call them - ask them to pick up your kids, grocery shop, etc. People want to help.
I work in the health insurance business and may be able to provide more practical information if you're interested. Send me a private message if you have questions. I can offer you ideas and help answer questions that might be specific to your insurance company.
I just prayed for you - and will do so when you come to mind H.. You can get through this better than you ever imagined. You can.