Car Seat Question - Newport News, VA

With my kids I made a big deal of pulling off into a parking lot or something and refused to go anywhere til they buckled up. Helps if you're going to ice cream store, etc.

The other strategy I've used is saying that if they don't buckle up we'll have to go to the fire station and ask them what they think about the child being out of his/her seat. This prospect always scared my kids into complying. I even pulled into the parking lot of the fire station before.

Since the firefighters are willing to install the car seats, I think they would be willing to circle the wagons and talk to a child about staying in their seats.

Each of my children tried this once. I agree with Felicia - you need to follow through with a consequence. With both of my children, I pulled over immediately and either turned around or got out of the car (different situations one was safer than the other) and made it clear that this was unacceptable behavior. My older daughter was 18 mos old and never has done it again. Then at 3 years old, she and I were in a car accident where the airbags were deployed - very scary. I was hurt slightly (back issues but otherwise okay) but she walked away without even a bruise! After that, she has never argued her seat belt, it's the first thing she does. The younger one (who was one at the time but not in the car for the accident) was about 22 mos when she did it and I stopped the car on the side of the highway, turned around and explained to her how dangerous her behavior was causing me to stop which was also dangerous! As we sat on the side, I had her look at the passing cars to show her how fast they were going. I don't know if it worked, but after we started driving again, my older daughter and I talked about the accident and the airbags and my daughter told her little sister how scary it was but how she was always safe because of her car seat (which was what I had told her). I think kids listen to each other, at least mine seem to take each other more seriously that me. Good luck! I hope any idea that you try works!

I introduced my child to the police. I know it is horrible but I explained that they would stop me and we would all get in trouble if they were not buckled. There are usually enough on the road that when they saw a cop car they straightened out.

I also explained the purpose of wearing it correctly and told them that if they didn't they could get seriously hurt and we could end up in the hospital.

Mine didn't listen to reason but this seemed to work. I have a friend who worked for the County Police and she helped me reinforce the need.

Sounds like your little guy is very intelligent and may be bored. I'd suggest some toys/manipulatives that he could play with in the car. Reserve them only for when in the car to keep them "special". I would also try to talk to him about the safety issues involved and if need be, enlist the help of your local police department of firefighters to help educate him on safety issues appropriate for his age/comprehension. You should be prepared to stop the car and secure him in his seat each and every time he escapes. This may mean that you will not have time to do some fun things that day. Find out what his "currency" is and suggest a fun activity that he would enjoy as a reward for sitting in his car seat like a big boy should. Hope this helps!

R.,
try turning the chest plate backwards when you buckle it, see if that works, i had a friend whos daughter did this as well and the first time they pulled over and spanked her butt and then they started turning the chest plate and buckle around so her daughter could not unbuckle it. good luck

1. You can tell him to stop and give him a severe consequence for each time he does it, whether it is to goto bed early, lose tv or game or favorite toy for the day etc. I bet it will stop fast!

in the mean time you can buy zip ties from an auto parts store- yes it is drastic and you have to CUT them off each time but it holds.
It sounds like he does it for attention and even your negative attention is attention for him. Kids do this a lot.

But start making his consequences severe and I bet you get better behavior. (taking things away like favorite treats, books, etc makes a big impact. and so does going to bed right after dinner and missing out on family time!

I'll tell you what I did. I drove straight to the fire station, walked up to the fireman with my sons, and told him sternly what my son was doing. The fireman repeated over and over that the first thing he did as a fireman was to put his seatbelt on. He demonstrated, repeated, and had my son do the same, sitting in the firetruck. I never had a problem after that.

For me this is a non-negotiable issue. Fortunately I have a little one who is really big on what we do and don't do. She's corrected me when she's heard me swear!

Dora has helped w/ this b/c everytime they get in any mode of transportation the first thing they do is put on their seatbelt/life jacket/etc. "so we can be safe!" I use that phrase w/ her. Now she is the seatbelt police w/ me!

For those times when she is especially defiant, I pull out my deep, "I'm not playing" voice and tell her in no uncertain times, that "WE ALWAYS WEAR OUR SEATBELT IN THE CAR!"

I had some of this problem when my daughter was a toddler. I basically made it a safety issue, which is what it is. I stopped the car when she got out of the seat. I got out of the car and punished her. When she did it again, I did the same thing. I did not have this issue again for a long time after that. My method of punishment was a couple of pats on the bottom. I saved it for a really important time like this or when she was playing with a plastic bag on putting over her face or in her mouth and other safety issues that I felt I had to take immediate action so she understood the issue and would not do it again.

Whatever it is that you choose, make it immediate and non-negotiating and something that is painful(mentally) that will cause your child to think twice about doing it again.

Good luck!
A.

If he is undoing his carseat, pull over ASAP. This is a safety issue. Make sure the child locks are on for the doors, and turn off the buttons that control the windows. He needs to know that messing with the stuff in the car is not an option, and mom will respond ASAP.

My other suggestion is to give him something to do in the car to occupy him. Maybe a special toy for the car, or crayons and paper, or sticker book. He may just be bored.

Stop the car, get back in the back, get in his face and tell him no. Put him back in the seat. Every time he does it stop and put him back. It pnly took me a few tmes of doing this to make my toddler realize it's not funny and it's not a joke.

I would try an incentive program. Tell him that he will get a sticker every time he rides in the car without taking off his seatbelt. After he gets a certain amount of stickers he gets a prize. I use this system with my Daughter to try and change behavior I find troublesome. She helped pick out the stickers, and the chart I use to keep track is posted right on the fridge. She can see how many more spots she has to fill in order to get a prize. The prizes are small - usually a $1 or $2. I have found it really helpful. Good luck!

I'm probably not quite as nice as you! I don't give my children too many chances before there's a solid consequence. What first comes to mind with your problem: I would probably strongly tell him to NOT do that when we weren't even in the car because of what a huge danger it is and that you love him.
Tell him, if he does, what the consequence will be. You've got to think of something he REALLY won't like....maybe take away tv privilege for the day, take away a favorite toy....but you have to stick to what you say, even if he's GREAT the rest of the day.

first how old is he. he should be in a 5 point harness if he is under 5. no matter his hight. if he is older then a punishment and a talking to is in order. at that age he should understand that you do not take off the seat belt unless you tell him to. tell him that disobeying could seriously injure him his brother and you. tell him what will happen if he takes his seatbelt off and stick to it. no dessert that night, a spanking, no tv time out...whatever you decide but you have to stick to it.

if he is 5 or up try an Angel-Guard-Seat-Release-Cover it's at target.com

My daughter was doing this--as a 2 1/2 year old, it was definitely an exercise in independence. I agree with the other writers who say that you have to pull over ASAP and really make it clear how serious and dangerous it is. What I would tell my daughter is that if she did not hook her seat belt back up I would do it for her(this alternative was not good one for someone who likes to do everything herself!)--I actually did this few times and she did stop. Sometimes I have had a hard time putting her in seat before we leave--she likes to make a game out of running around the inside of the van. I usually count to three then will physically go and put her in her seat--most of the time now she will get in her seat before I get to three!