2 Year Old Won't Stay Buckled

I know a woman who had a similar situation. My understanding is that she pulled into the police station and the cops had a talk with her kids (she has twins) and talked about the consequences. That seemed to have scared her kids straight. But the other suggestion I have heard is to immediately pull over and not move until he is safely buckled in. I hope you get this resolved soon.

This is one of those areas where there isn't room for compromise, at least when it comes to the car seat. This will be difficult, but if he unbuckles in the stroller, leave the mall, park, play dates, and go home. If he does it in the car, either go home, or stop the car,(I've actually gotten out of the care) and I don't proceed until he stays buckled. It is a privilage to go somewhere, if he can't do it safely, he's not going.

I have "bad mommy" moment to share. Recently my 6 year old didn't buckle himself up. It was one of those rushed mornings and I didn't double check him before pulling out of the drive way. Not an excuse but what can I say.
I got pulled over. So here is my son in his booster seat and not buckled. I was so upset with myself for not buckling him up. The officer gave my son a very stern talking to about the imporance up buckling up.

Ever since that moment my son rushes to buckle himself up and even will double check himself before we pull out of the driveway.

I know your son is younger but maybe if you ask a local police officer or even fire fighter to talk to him, it maybe enough to help understand why he needs to stay in his carseat.

I agree with the other "spankers". My two year old USED to unbuckle his too - he doesn't now. I will also say it was a test to see what I would do. It wasn't about the way it fit or comfort - he wanted to see what reactions would come from unbuckling. Obviously, the other children "snitching" and mom telling him to rebuckle, stop the car, yell or "sternly talk to" didn't do anything but make him want to try it again to see what would happen next. After a few consistant spankings he decided it wasn't worth all that and has moved on to safer "tests"! :)

Wow, I sympatize with you over this one...it's a tough call... I think your little guy just wants to be more grown up. Gosh this is hard, I would recommend helping him with his independence in not being buckled or restrained in anything BUT the carseat... use your stern voice (even raise it if you have to) to enforce to him that unbuckling that seat is NOT an option. Now hear comes the real pain in the butt...everytime he unbuckles it, pull over and rebuckle it. Tell him that you will have to leave him at home/find a babysitter and he won't be able to go with you if he can't stay buckled like a big boy. Last resort, bribe him with a cookie, cracker or something when he gets to where you are going w/o unbuckling himself.

I would also work with him (and I know this seems counterproductive) in learning how to undo all the buckles so that when you get to your destination he can undo himself (or you can finish helping). My kids used to unbuckle themselves early (like when we pulled into parking lots) and I raised my voice enough that they now wait until I tell them that it's ok to unbuckle.

Also, does he have something to do in the car? It could be he's just bored and he's learned how to do it to keep himself occupied. Reverse the psychology here and praise him for his ingenuity in being able to work the buckle but tell him he's not allowed to get out until you tell him too...give him a book or turn on a DVD to occupy his mind and take it away from his buckle.

Finally, is the buckle too tight or confining on him? It may be time to move to another car seat? Maybe it's work looking at another car seat just to find a different buckle... BTW- I liked the race car driver idea...can you get a helmet to go with that and a steering wheel? Build on the imgination and let him go with it... My kids act like their car seats are a the seats in a roller coaster (especially when we get on a big hill)...they will throw their hands in the air and start yelling "WHEEEE!" LOL... I hope something helped...I'll be watching to see what other moms write! Good luck.

Are you tying him in correctly tight enough the carseat restraint should be tight enough that you can't put 2 fingers in between the shoulder strap also the clip should be at armpit level no lower that will also prevent him from wiggling out let alone flying out of the carseat in a car accident.When you put him in the carseat today explain to him the dangers of not wearing a seatbelt in kid terms and make sure it is tigh enough if he can lean forward or wiggle out its not tight enough.As for the stroller they are easier to unbuckle and wiggle out of but make sure for his safety as of righ now they are adjusted to fit him and tight enough just a little wiggle room is all he needs not enough that he can completley turn around.Hope this helps.You can also go to a local carseat saftey check lane and they can walk you through step by step the correct way he should be in a careseat.

Hi L.,
Here's some controversial advice--here goes...
I would never threaten and then follow through with a spanking...unless my two year old was unbuckling his seatbelt in a moving car.

I understand the controversy of spankings these days, but psychologically, a 2 year old understands the threat of a spanking better than a logical conversation about car safety. As long as your're consistent and give a warning first, they understand you mean it.

And the warning makes them accountable for choosing to do the behavior when they know a spanking is the consequence--but you have to follow through. Then you can tell him, "I'm sorry you chose the spanking, honey. I love you, and you have to listen to Mommy. If you unbuckle again, you'll be choosing another spanking--I hope you don't pick that."

Good luck in whatever your decision will be!
A.

Is the strap tightened enough? The top clip is the first one I have to clip together otherwise it is rather difficult to clip and likewise unclip. I have seen too many kids buckled in to loose straps. I make mine snug. There is very very little wiggle room. What good is a car seat if they are not going to be secured properly. You may be doing it right, this is all I can think of at the moment though. =)

My son used to do this, too. The kicker seemed to be the time we were in the Dr. office parking lot. I had just pulled out of the parking space and was driving about 2 miles per hour. He had unbuckled himself and was sitting in his carseat. When I saw him I immediately hit the brake, and he was thrown (sort of- it was only 2 mph) into the back of the front seat. It scared him a bit, but he got the idea of why we buckle up. I don't know about doing it on purpose, but it worked for the most part. He has unbuckled a couple of times since (he is 5 now), but as soon as I reminded him of what happened he got right back in and buckled up!

How about rewards, that usually works best. Tell him if he makes it 5 car rides safely buckled he gets something (a sucker, ice cream, extra book read at night, a trip to the park). At the mall maybe you can tell him if he makes it without getting out he will get a special treat.
My daughter had a vase of flowers and she took away a flower every time the kids misbehaved, I can't remember how the rewards worked, but I do remember they were really upset when a flower was taken away. I'm sure you can think of something your child likes and use it to bribe him into buckling as he should, don't make it a big thing just something you both might enjoy.
I can say that I have pulled over when they unbuckled until they buckled up, they seem to panic when they see you pulling over. Tell him you can't drive until everyone is safe.

We took our daughter to the police station and had a police officer tell my kids that if they continued to do this the police would pull us over and put them in time out. We explained this was "the rules", not my rules but the rules of the car, same rules apply to stores and various other places we go w/ a stroller. All I have to do is ask if they want to go to police station or if they want the store to get the manager and they usually comply. I agree that it is a phase, but this helped.

Good Morning L., Our 3 1/2 yr old Gr son is like your little one also. But the Police taking our money with a ticket worked with him. No money for Mickey D's, or monster jams, etc.. ALSO I think it really made an impression on him when I pulled the Car over and Buckled him up again, with a Stern talking to the whole time. Next time he did it he received one swat with the talking too. He doesn't do it anymore. We tell him he has to be very safe.

If his car seat is in the right place you could use another seat belt pulled across him also.

Good Luck with your little escape artist!!
K. Nana of 5

Let him walk when you are at the mall if he wants to that much, no reason for him to be in a stroller if he isn't tired and wants to walk.
For the car, stop as soon as he unbuckles and tell him the car cannot drive without everyone buckled up. Point out even Dora says to buckle up when she gets in a car. He will figure it out as soon as you are on the way to somewhere he wants to go, and you don't drive there without a seatbelt on him. In fact, if he does it everytime, you can set him up a little with a trip somewhere good, like the ice cream store.

A friend of mine had this problem and basicly she just stopped everything until he was buckled. She of course started this process with something fun, like going to the park, and when he unbuckled she pulled over and sat there until he decided to buckle. She explained that they now had less 'fun' time because he wouldn't mind. Same thing when he did on the way to the grocery store, etc. Less time later for 'fun' stuff because he was wasting time unbuckling. It took about a week and he stopped doing it because he didn't end up with much 'fun' that week!

You have a lot of good responses, and I like the one's about stopping (if it's safe, I would NOT stop on the side of the highway, of course), and don't go until he is buckled. He will be loosing out on fun time, as one mom said.

My other thought is to take him to the fire station where they do car seat safety checks. You can explain the problem to the fire fighters and they can probably talk to your son about being safe. It may make more of an impression if its from someone like that.

best wishes!

My daughter has done the same thing. She's 2 also. Now that I think about it, she hasn't done it very recently. It may just be a phase. Its something he just learned so its cool to him. It really frustrated me whenever she would unbuckle herself and take her arms out. At every stop light I would try and rebuckle her in. I did stop in a parking lot once to buckle her and tell her we're not going until you are buckled. When I'm driving I would tell her "you need to stay safe, you need to stay buckled." I also tell her, "Look at mommy, mommy is buckled." In the end, I think it's just a phase. I've also let her buckle herself in before we leave and then unbuckle herself when we get back home. Letting her know the appropriate times to do that. Hope you find something that works

If none of the other good suggestions work... Look for someone who is a police officer that you can take him to when he unbuckles and gives him a 'ticket' for being unbuckled and he has to pay a 'fine' (The fine could be paying with one of his favorite things, that you are ready to put away).

Good luck!

I have the same problem with my 2 year old and my 4 year old. It has become a discipline issue for us. If I see them unbuckled then they lose some sort of priveledge or a promised treat. And if we are on the way to the park or McDonalds that is a real bummer for them. But we are still working on it too. Good Luck

I used to nanny for a little boy who did this routinely. We called the car seat mauufacturer to see if they had any suggestions or a piece to go over the buckel and they did, so ou may check with them. It can't hurt.

K.

Next time you see a policeman and have a minute to spare, ask the police officer to say something to your son. Seeing someone in uniform say it really makes it hit home.

I know this may sound mean but when my kids unbuckled themselves out of their car seat or don't have their seat belt on, I slam on the brakes and make them jerk forward and then explain to them that had that been an accident it would have been a lot worse but it seemed to work. They didn't unbuckle their carseats anymore and usually buckle up in their seatbelts and if I see one not buckled as one of my teenagers seems to forget at times, I will still slam on the brakes and she gets that seat belt on.