Cant Get 3 Month Old to Sleep Without My Pinky or Swing

I guess my response is a little late but... I've just been dealing with this. I didn't want to use the paci until breast feeding was well established but now all she wants is the real deal. What I've found works is, like everyone said, try different shapes and pacis but also, try it when she's tired. That's the only time my little girl will take one.

There is a newborn NUBY pacifier that's shaped more like a pinky and it's silicone not plastic. It's green. You might have seen them. You can get them at Target or Pump Station. I think sucking is a necessary comforting mechanism for infants.

Hi N., I think that's cute. My advice to you is be happy she won't take a pacifire. I know a lot of moms don't agree with this, but I rocked may babies to sleep at night and nap time, and in doing so my babies fell asleep feeling safe and secure, did not need blankies. pacifires or pinkies, for me there was nothing like a little baby falling asleep in my arms, I would sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight, every night to them, I even made up songs, those were some of my best times with my babies. J.

Even in the womb, a "baby" will self-soothe by sucking their fingers/thumbs. It's a natural instinct. I researched this, and many experts have said that it is good when a baby learns to self-soothe. Your girl very probably did this in your womb too, with her own fingers.

There is nothing "wrong" with self-soothing.. it is a natural instinct. Sure, in our culture it is frowned upon if a child gets "attached" to something to fall asleep. In other cultures, it is not. So, it depends, and on the Parent and their "stamina" to get their baby to sleep... peacefully.

Perhaps, try different pacifiers. Babies usually will take to the one they like... and reject others. Or, (with my son), he likes to cuddle his stuffed cow when he sleeps, and it helps him, and yes, my son uses a pacifier. It does not bother me or my Hubby. He can fall asleep by himself even though he is still awake when we put him in his crib.

There are many ways... each Parent uses different approaches. But bear in mind, that a "habit" will be formed with whatever "routine" you use to help a baby/child to fall asleep. And transitioning them to something else can take time.

For my firstborn.. she could only fall asleep if she was hanging on to my boob. She did NOT want anything else, although I tried in earnest. Now, she likes to have her dolly with her when she sleeps. So that's fine. Children/babies like to cuddle things. It's a phase and then sometimes not. Me, I sucked my thumb and had a blankie. My parents did not do that to me.. it was just something I gravitated toward. So, there are all kinds of different things.

Or perhaps, get your baby a "lovey" blankie... there are real cute ones from Amazon.com Just type in the search word "baby security blankets."

At your baby's age.. just be sure it is a "tiny" blankie so it does not get tangled up on her face etc., for safety.

Good luck, and take care,
~Susan

I had the exact same experience with my daughter. She just wouldn't take a binky (and I tried them ALL) but, from the day she was born, loved sucking on our pinkies. When she was a few months older than your daughter we finally just used the ferber sleep method (lay her down awake and let her cry for five minutes, then check in on her, then seven minutes, then go in and comfort her, then nine, etc). It was horrible for a day or two and very hard for me, but I have to say I have no regrets. As soon as she learned to suck her own thumb to fall asleep she became MUCH better at soothing herself everywhere we went, in the stroller, in the car, etc. It really only took a few nights and she has been able to put herself to sleep alone ever since. I lay her down awake and she just goes to sleep.

I started to realize that she would never learn to self-soothe if I never gave her the opportunity and by me always giving her my pinky she wasn't figuring out how to get her own fingers to her mouth.

Get her to take a pacifier, and in one or two or three years you will be writing in asking how to break your daughter's pacifier addiction. Why not simply stop the pinky thing now and break the addictions at this early age?

My baby didn't take well to the pacifier, but we discovered she loves to suck on fabric, so she now has one of those mini silky blankets about 12" x 12". Your baby may need a little more fine motor skills before this works though.

I think it important you realize you created this situation and now if you want to change it you make the decision and move forward. I learned when my oldest was young and I was very ill that I had made her too dependent upon me. You have not taught your daughter how to self soothe.

N.,

Try the Sleep Lady Book by Kim West. It worked great for our family and talks about using pacifiers etc. for comfort.
Good Luck

I'm not trying to sound mean because I understand this is your baby and there is alot of love for this child but if she did not have you finger all she would do is cry herself to sleep, that's not harmful to her. Eventually she will get the message that she can't depend on you to be put to sleep. Believe me if you continue to do this it will only become worse as she gets older. At first its cute then is becomes a problem.

awe thats cute but i see your issue with it too. maybe try to find a paci that is shaped like your finger (you know the straight ones) if that doesnt seem to help maybe see if she will suck her own fingers (maybe she got soo used to yours she forgot about her own). i hope this is helpful. good luck!

One more suggestion!! My now 5 mo. old was the same way!!! She would only take my finger and not a pacifier and at 3 mo. I had read that you can TRAIN a baby to take a pacifier. What I did is put it in her mouth, when she would do anything resembling a "suck" action I would gently tug at the pacifier. This is supposed to cause them to suck harder, therefore, learn to take and enjoy the pacifier. It did take about two days of constantly trying it and about 4 different brands to find the one she liked. Now she happlily takes her (Advent)"binky" and her fingers, whole hand, just about anything now!! ;) Good Luck!

I know I sound crazy but... stop giving her the pinky. That's all. Start during the day when you can wait out any crankiness. She needs to learn to fall asleep without any help from you. If she doesn't want a binky don't give it to her. But STOP with the pinky. Trust me, eventually she'll fall asleep. When you do it, tell her why you're going to stop and how important it is for her to learn to sleep on her own. A 3 month old will still get all of that. Good luck!