Can I Lose Custody

Updated on December 09, 2010
T.C. asks from Audubon, NJ
8 answers

my ex got a lawyer and his lawyer obtained a copy paperwork of a case and is now using it against us in custody court... however what is in that paperwork that he has is not what i charged with... however it gets better... he has NO custodial rights to the girls and never follows his scheduled supervised visitation schedule... hes 5500 in the hole on child support and has lied to the court for 2.5 years... to top it all off in the past 2.5 years hes seen the girls only about 50 times... when hes to have them every mon n fri from 5-8 and every other weekend... hes never seen them on a mon or fri... n makes his on weekend schedule... we cant even make plans til that sat nite the weekend hes to have them cuz he has no common curtosy for ne1... but hes now tellin the girls that they dont have to listen to us they can do whatever they want... my youngest is the most disrespectful lil girl i have ever seen... hes promising to do all this stuff for them too... not only that hes mentally and physically abusive... and he was to me and the girls...

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So What Happened?

an update to what has gone on... i have had an attorney and he tells me not to worry... however he really is that big of an ass that i just need that extra reassurance... i have all the documentation for the past 2.5 years... this is just an asshole move on his part... thanks everyone....

More Answers

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F.O.

answers from Boston on

I don't understand why you think you will lose custody??? Does the case have merit?

Anyway don't worry about them, build your case against him. He's inconsistent with visitation, poisoning your child's mind, turning them against you. That's vindictive and immature. He has a negative influence on the girls.

Do you what you have to do to keep your girls.

S.L.

answers from New York on

it seems unlikely but start a file collecting evidence that you are the one raising these children. Make copies of report cards you have signed, parent conferences you attended, receipts for extra activities, sports, classes they have taken that you paid for, receipts for Dr and dentist visits, day care you paid for. Do you pick them up from school or daycare every day? ask child care provider to write that down. keep receipts from clothes and shoes and backpacks you buy for them Write down every time every date that he is supposed to have them and doesnt show up, and anytime he is supposed to bring them back at a certain hour and is late. Write down every time he does have them so you have a count. Make sure you can prove everything. If he is abusive to them take them to Dr for every bruise, and take pictures, if he yells at you when he picks them up ask a friend to video tape from inside the window. Continue to stress to the girls that you are their mother and love them more than anything in the world and they have to listen to you like every other child has to listen to their mother. but don't involve them in a "I'm the better parent" "dont listen to your dad" Be more grown up then he is.

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

I doubt it a good judge will see through this

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

He does not sound like a great dad. It may be good to have it written down when he does actually see the girls. Be calm in court and explain everything like explained on this website. It needs to be brought to the courts attention that he is not paying child support as he should and how sporadic the vistations are with the girls. It also needs to be told of how this has effected the girls emotionally with him being mentally and physically abusive. I do not think one small thing is going to make you lose custody of the girls. People make mistakes and learn from them. If you were to lose custody of the girls then the state would have already stepped in. Sorry, you have to deal with such an idiot. Good luck to you and the girls.

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R.P.

answers from Allentown on

You need a lawyer. Do not think you can go in there a just think the judge will just listen to the truth. My best friend learned that the hard way. She tried to leave an abusive, controlling husband. She left with nothing and was trying to get on her feet. He got a high priced lawyer and filed for custody. She thought she would go in there and tell them all the stuff he has done but it didn't work. This guy never changed a diaper, cooked a meal, nothing! He won FULL custody. I was there and witnessed the whole thing.

Get a lawyer!!!! I'm sure they have a legal aid in your area that you could use if you can't afford one.

Good luck!

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A.W.

answers from Washington DC on

The best thing is to get your own lawyer. You should go back and find documentation to as much as you can and now you should document everything. My other bit of advice comes from the fact that my own parents are divorced. Each child is different in how they react to the stress and changes. My brother reacted negatively. He could be very disrespectful, but kids take out their anger, fears, and frustration on those they love and have the most trust in. Also, children are testing you to see if you REALLY love them. Children of divorced parents feel insecure in their parents and other people's love of them. Keep on showing your love and being there for them. Maybe not now but they will see the truth soon.

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J.G.

answers from Cincinnati on

i dont know, but the only thing that caught my attention was you saying your youngest is the most disrespectful little girl you've ever seen, and that's troubling to me. please don't take your anger out on your daughter--remember--she is the product of your parenting, and your decisions in life. It's your job to raise her, teach her, and nurture her --and positive reinforcement is what works. It just takes a little more effort. Putting down, and being physical is not going to do anything but damage her and ruin your relationship. i was abused as a child, and i am not accusing you of that at all, but comments like that were all i ever heard. that's why it sticks out to me.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

first get a lawyer. no judge really wants to take kids away from their M. unless she is unfit. everything you just said about him you need to be able tp prove that in court. and you should be fine

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