What would you do if the godfather to your child doesn't even show up to the child's bday party?
His wife my SIL.. texted me 4 times a few days before saying she will not be there then she will be there and def there..
Then she didn't show up. Then my Brother in law he is the godfather.. He comes every year. My daughter turned 3 years old. There are adults there our good friends my brothers and sisters.. My husband only has one brother. he texted my husband and said that they are not coming and he just got home from work and he is spending time with his wife.
She only comes down on the weekends. She is a terrible sister in law that likes to start trouble.
My brother in law is controlled by her all of the time
So thanks for the advice i will use them wisely.. I will not let this effect me anymore. they are aware how important a godfather is and our tradtions.. I am done. You guys are right better she didn't come.. Can't stand her anyway.
Just disapointed he didn't come. thank you again
Shake it off. A person can only cause trouble if you respond by getting angry. Let them know they were missed and you look forward to seeing them soon, then file it under "not my problem" and move on.
"Forgetaboutit"
Maybe they are having marital issues.
How old is the child? How much normal interaction does this person have with other kids? With the child? If she's going to the beach and he's not, there may be more going on than either want to tell you. Not that a woman can't take a trip with her mom, but it might be part of a larger picture. And I ask about the whole kid thing because if it's a kid party, not all men are big on kids and want to be around a slew of them.
ETA: What does "godparent" mean in your family? In his? I ask because in my family while my aunt and uncle were my guardians in case something happened, they did not treat me any more superspecial than any other niece. But my sister's godparents were from the other side of the family and they treated it differently and got her extra presents and such. So I'm wondering, too, if they see godparenting differently than you do and is your POV secular or religious or a little of both?
They said they couldn't make it. It shouldn't really matter what it is that they were doing instead. Adults cannot always make it (nor do they always want to) to every family function. Maybe your BIL and SIL needed the time together for any number of reasons: important discussions, they haven't had sex in 2 months, they haven't spent quality time with each other for a few weeks, etc.
I disagree with a lot of responses - if you don't to be a part of a kid's life, then don't agree to be their godparent, plain & simple. If he can't even make it to the little girl's birthday because he just home from work & wants to spend time with his wife, what kind of caretaker would he be if mommy & daddy suddenly passed away? I mean, he couldn't have spent time with her after the party? Sounds like b.s.
If this pattern continues, I would probably be thinking about getting new godparents for my child. People that didn't have their own personal issues.
I suppose I would wonder if they didn't like children's birthday parties and would rather celebrate another time. I would figure that if they didn't genuinely want to be there (for whatever reason) that it was best that they didn't come.
You changed your post, so let me change mine a bit: you will have to decide how much you want to let your brother and sister in law affect your life.
I'd let it go. You have a lot of good answers below...
nothing. do nothing. u are more hurt as an adult then ur child is.did he even notice who was there and not adultwise? i guarantee that he did not notice it. just put ur feelings on the back burner. i have gone the other route by saying stuff and it doesnt work.
I would not worry about it too much sounds like you probably didn't want her at the party anyways and sounds like he would not have come without her.
Maybe they're having marriage issues or something else is going on that is more of a private matter. I'd forgive their decision not to come and perhaps ask your brother about it when you're not so hot under the collar anymore. He may open up more if he feels he has a sympathetic audience rather than accusations against his wife being foisted on him.
Honestly? Nothing. Not being mean but not all adults want to go to a child's birthday party. I WOULD go if I were godmother, but that is just me. I feel that it's part of my duties. But my son's godfather we invite and if he doesn't show up, it's usually due to work so I guess that IS different than just not showing up. Maybe say something to him about how you had hoped he would celebrate your child's special day. It sounds like this is your hubby's brother - have him talk to him about it. It seems to me that women are so much more emotional (me included) and hold so much more value in holidays, birthdays, etc.
Sorry you have to deal with this!
Don't worry about it. I don't even invite the godparents to my kid's birthdays because they all live 2+ hours away, instead I invite them for a holiday or family bbq instead.
I would let it go, the sister-in-law is just trying to start something or she needs sometime with her husband. Let him know he was missed. Don't play in to here games. And really, it's just a 3 year old's party, not much fun for adults.
