Breast Feeding a 25Month Old Advice

Updated on September 19, 2011
A.P. asks from Dewar, OK
15 answers

My son is 25 months, and still breastfeeding. He still wakes 2-3 times at night to and for a while thats all was it. Now were back to him wanting to nurse during the day like 3 times or so. Its getting a little old. I am ready to be done, but he isn't. I am really at a loss. I want him out of our room, into his room with his brother. I just don't know where to start. I know these are to big changes and I don't want to stress him out. Any suggestions? I know it is easier said than done, but I have to start somewhere.

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T.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

This short documentary sheds insight on the topic. It seems to suggest letting the child decide when they're ready to wean:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHRyRCHuQ7g

More Answers

E.A.

answers from Erie on

Nightwean first. Dad goes to them when they wake and offers water. It took us about three nights, give or take, depending on the kid. Then work on moving him out of your bed by letting him sleep next to the bed for a week. Then the other room. Dad answers all calls, we did used to sit with them until they fell asleep until about 3yo. Also, get the brother to help, our oldest liked to sing to our 2nd to get him to sleep :) He will tire of this scenario, not getting you to come to him, and give up lol.

I nursed until 3yo when I could. It was worth it, but I put definite boundaries up. Not in public. Not during the night. If mom says no, no means no. No nursing to sleep, with a few exceptions (sickness). I was able to nurse my youngest two through chicken pox, and it was the only thing they would take in when they had fevers.

Don't let anyone dictate to you how long you should nurse, that is up to you and the baby. Don't shortchange yourself by giving in all the time, either, though. It's your body, and he is old enough to understand that and why you get to say no sometimes.

5 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

He should be getting his needs met by whole foods, not milk. A 2 yr old should be eating more solid food and getting very little of his nutrition from milk - breast or bottle. 2 yr olds dont wake up in the middle of the night for a bottle, so why would you nurse at night? Ween him just like you would with a bottle. Feed him plenty of solid food, fill his little tummy and put him to bed, in his room. He will only be upset a day or two.

4 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have to say I have never heard of a child that old needing a feeding in the middle of the night. It sounds like he is doing it for comfort, not nutrients.

Just because it logically sounds easier I would go with moving him to the other room first. I would also have your husband comfort him if he wakes. If you go first he will want to feed because he can smell you where your husband won't smell the same so he may not even fuss about it.

4 moms found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello,
We quit when my daughter was 21 months and like you, I was done. Luckily for you and I, at 2 years old a child is able to understand that they are no longer a "baby" and that mommy's milk has gone away because he/she is a "big kid." This is what I stressed to our daughter and she could understand it and we really had no problem going forward. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi A.,

Sorry but I am in the tough love group...He is more than ready to abruptly stop at night! He's more than old enough! Stop cold turkey and let him cry. I am sorry if that sounds harsh but he's over 2 now.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

As a person who quit breastfeeding around this time also (28 months) there are only 3 ways of doing it. Abrupt, gradual, or self led.

You either have to taper off the feedings and learn to say no and deal with the crying (hard i know) but during this you can learn other soothing methods.

Take it away all at once (i wouldnt recommend this)

Or keep going until your baby decides to stop, then allow that to be his decision and support him in it.

My daughter self led at 2 1/2 years old, but then as soon as i was dring up decided she wanted to try again. I quickly developed some other methods of soothing her.

2 moms found this helpful

P.O.

answers from Tampa on

This happened with my daughter - it didn't last long and soon all she wanted was first thing in the morning, before nap and before bed. She weaned herself at 4.5 y/o and she was by far the least sick of her daycare/pre-k and circle of friends from our playgroup. She also was less clingy and shy because her affirmation of my love and support thru breastfeeding until SHE was ready to wean gave her to confidence she needed as well as the comfort when things didn't go her way.

I'd give it a week or two and see how things are going. Your feelings may change and or his need for milk may change too... Breastfeeding is never a static dynamic and both parties benefit.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

i nursed far shorter (18 mos), and I can understand wanting to be done but I see no reason to make this hard on him. I agree he doesn't need much milk of any kind. But he needs you emotionally, and to rip this away from him seems cruel. This is a partnership - you shouldn't make him go cold turkey, while he shouldn't manipulate you endlessly to continue if you are ready to stop.

I suggest gradually lessening the feedings. During the day, put him off - "Mommy can't right now, but you can have a cup." and at night, make your hubby bring him a cup. But don't do both at once. Drop one feeding at a time as you might with an infant. I promise that he won't nurse forever, and you will miss it when it's done. Good work, Mom.

1 mom found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Well...you know he's not nursing because he's hungry...Lol.
I started night weaning my 1st around 18 months. She was driving me nuts. Working on it now w/ my son (16 months)...
At 2 we moved her to a mattress on the floor beside our bed. Of course she would climb into our bed and want to nurse come 5am. But I just kept putting her back on the mattress. Eventually she stayed.
I was fine w/ her on our floor...but I would imagine you could go through these steps to get him in his own room w/ in a matter of a few months.
If it only takes 1-2 nights you let me know what magic pill you used. ;)

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Try to find a middle ground between your needs and his. If you want him out of your room, then I'd pick either weaning or room first and then once that's settled, work on the other one. When he gets up at night, consider having DH settle him or giving him a drink of water or giving him a short session. If you think he's truly hungry, offer him a healthy bedtime snack and then don't offer nursing at night. At his age, you can talk to him about it. I also worked on distractions. If she asked and asked..okay but if she could be nudged into a sippy cup or snack or book instead, then that's what I did.

With my DD I started to cut down the time of her nursing sessions and would offer "just a little bit" before bed. Slowly, slowly that faded away and by the time she was 2.5 she was done. I hear you. It was bittersweet when she was done, but she went a few days, asked once, then not again. By then I think we were both ready.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

A friend of mine who did AP and extended nursing ended up putting band-aids over her nipples and told her daughter that mommy had some owies, and couldn't nurse. Her daughter totally understood that, and readily accepted just snuggling instead of nursing. She said her daughter was not traumatized at all by it. I don't think that if you're ready to stop, that you need to be all that worried about your son's reaction. He is old enough to understand what you're telling him, and to learn other ways to be soothed, and to soothe himself.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

EEEK! Turk's post is enough incentive to put up with the tantrums and nip it now! Did anyone else see it?!! I'm for breastfeeding, but not that much! I think getting tough now, and maybe even moving him into his own bed if your doing the attachment parenting thing are a good way to do it. That's what we did. Moved ours to a big boy bed (twin) at about 2. It worked like a charm.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

is he in your bed, too? If so, it's the smell of you triggering him into thinking he needs to feed.

As with all of us, he's certainly old enough to sleep thru the night without drinking/eating. My vote is for moving him out of your bedroom, & during the day....well, that's your call.

& never, ever feel bad about your decisions.....kudos to you!

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

At his age he doesn't need to nurse during the night anymore. Morning and night before bed are enough. Solid food should have replaced the need for during the night feedings a while back. Sounds like he's wanting it for possibly affection, so make sure to cuddle and snuggle with him lots.

Start by eliminating the middle of the night feedings by stopping one every 5 to 7 days or so until you're down to morning and night before bed, or just night before bed. When he wants it at other times tell him "No, not right now," and distract him. Move him into his brother's room once you've stopped the middle of the night feedings, and give him a lovey to snuggle with during the night. My oldest did nurse until a little past three years but it was just the time before bed, to cuddle and relax.

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