Breaking the Habit of My Son Sleeping with Us

hi, P. mother of 2, 4 and 2, i have the same problem. when i was pregnant hubby declared no babies in the bed. didnt work. now both babies try to sleep with us.
i put a computer in thier room to play music or dvd's. i take snuggle time before i place them in bed. or i do bed time stories, they lay down and i read or the 4yrs old read then they go to bed. usually this works. the oldest still will try to sleep with us. it took about a week for the 2yr old to stop crying and stay in bed.

let me suggest a great book. the author's name is Kim West and they call her the sleep lady. Her technique is called the sleep lady shuffle. I tried it with my son and it worked like a charm. she goes in detailed on how to use the technique day by day, and it is very specific to the age of the child. I highly recommend it. One thing: it does take a while to break a child from a long entrenched habit. Maybe you will be hard a work for a couple of weeks (or more depending on your child's temperament) but once you achieve it, you wouldnt have it any other way!!!! another thing: just make sure you are consistent. DONT GIVE IN because it will make it all the harder.
Hope this helps and let me know how it turns out

Wow. There is a lot of change of his life right now and will be when the baby comes. I know you doing GREAT job keeping everything as normal as you can right now. Yes you do need to break this before the next baby. You say he is sleeping in his bed from 9-7 that is GREAT! Our son was 5 and still feel asleep in our bed and then we moved him into his room and he did come back in the morning to snuggle. You have the hard part down, he is sleeping in his room throughout the night.I would not try to break him from coming into your room at 7:00 AM. My son is 7 and still comes in to snuggle before school.They are only little for a short and youare making memories for him that will last a lifetime for him! For the nap, you need to let him cry once you give him kisses. I did this, I told my son one hour before nap time, I would read him a short book and only ONE book and then he had to take his nap. I told him that while he was napping, I needed to do Mommy things and that included making him a really special and cool looking snack for when he woke up from his nap. At first, heSO DID NOT like this idea. I did not want him crying either, but I stuck to my guns and he cried, got out of his bed, I out him back in the bed, did not say anything and left. One day i did this for 2 hours but I was not going to let my 16 month tell me what he was going to do. I am the parent he is the child(they need learn they di not always get thier way) and what I say it is what goes at this age. This was one battle that I was going to fight everyday and I was going to win. Did I have to give myself timeouts and count to 10 and sometimes 100 OH YES. But I did it and within week, I read the book gave him a kiss and went on my way. I always make sure his snack was good and looked funny. I made a plate too and we always ate our snack on the floor and had a picnic every afternoon. We can never get those memories again:)
Good Luck and congrates and the your new little one

Hello Carrie,
Happy Anniversary!
Usually established routine works wonders. Stroll, bath, reading, feeding and sleeping every day at the same time. I have introduced my daughter to the crib during day naps and fun activities in her room. She was getting more and more familliar with her room and crib. What has worked for me was that I did not let her sleep pass 6pm. At night, when she started rubbing her eyes and her nose she was placed in her crib. Once she in in her crib my husband and I play with her for about 15-30 minutes then we say good night and give her a good night kiss. We leave a very dim light and the crib bubbles aquarium on. What was important to teach her how to fall asleep on her own. The other important thing is to make sure the baby is warm dressed, especially their feet; warm fluffy socks or warm and comfy booties. Sometimes babies wake up at night from simply being cold and they don't know how to fall back to sleep on their own. Good Luck, things will work out just fine. Please keep me posted. Here is an article I have saved for you;

Step 1 When your child calls out for you or starts crying after you have put him to bed, wait for a minute or two, then go to him but do not turn on the light in his room or take him out of the crib.

Step 2 Speak quietly to your child and reassure him that you are there if he needs you. But also be firm about the fact that it is time for sleeping and not for talking. Then leave the room while your child is still awake.

Step 3 The next time he cries (which may be immediately after you leave), wait a minute longer than you did the first time, then repeat the process.

Continue in this fashion, letting your child cry a little bit longer each time before you go to him. Speak to him briefly, and leave the bedroom while he is still awake. On the second night, wait a little longer than you did the first time on the first night before going in to your child, then repeat the pattern. By the second or third night, you may well find that your child is already going to sleep sooner.

When your child wakes in the night and cries for you, use the same technique. Let him cry for four or five minutes, then go to him, reassure him that you are there, and leave. Return at lengthening intervals as necessary. Eventually, your child will learn to put himself to sleep without your help. The associations that he once may have needed-having his back stroked or a lullaby sung to him until he fell asleep-will gradually be replaced with others: Being in his crib with his special toy or blanket, for example, will be enough.

You can rest assured that a little bit of crying will not hurt your child. In the long run, allowing him to cry for a few minutes at a time for a few nights will be far more beneficial to him (and to the rest of the family) than allowing a poor sleeping pattern to persist. Using this method, success can come remarkably quickly, almost always within a couple of weeks once you start it, and often within just three or four nights.

Carrie i would try going in ans snugling with him for 5 minutes when you lay him down and tell him mommy can only lay with you for five minutes and stick to it sooner or later he will get use to this my girls are almost 5 and 3 and i still enjoy snuggling with them at nap time but i do agree that night time everyone should be in their own beds i had a hard time with this too because due to things that happened my girls and i had to move back in with my parents for just over a year and we shared a room so every night one of the two of them would sleep with me sometimes both now that they have their own space they still try to come and sleep with my boyfriend and i once and awhile and my boyfriends son is almost 6 and when he is here on the weekends he always wants to sleep with his daddy for a little bit at first we were still letting and if daddy had his way he'ld still llow it but i had to put my foot down it may not work with your son because hes still young but what we did with him was the first weekend we allowed it and h like to sleep in our bed with us the next weekend we allowed him to sleep on the flor and the next weekend we made go in his room but daddy went and laid wth him for bitbut the first weekend we told him the plan and told him he would have to start sleeping in his room hope this helps good luck

do you have a rocking chair? i swear it worked for me. im a mom with 3 children. everyone of them i did thid to when it came time to break them from my bed and room. it gives them special mommy time and snuggle time but sets it in their mind that your bed isn't for them they have their own. if he wakes up at naptime let him play he will sleep better at bedtime. you might get a little crankiness out of him later in the afternoon but do not let him go back to sleep after a certain point. i say rocking chair your might set up a reading time or another outine that works for u. i did the rocking chair because it also helped me relax after a stressful day :) my oldest daughter got reading time after my 5 yr old was born. when the 2 yr old was born i did the rocking chair with the 5 yr old. she had been sleeping with me too and with the new baby that would not have been possible. once he gets it set that this is routine and you may need to reinforce in the mornings too by putting him back into his bed and saying this is ( child's name) bed and that is mommy's bed. he will get used to it.

i am going through the same exact thing. My son slept in the bed with us up until six months ago. I also had a baby girl seventeen months after him. I learned from my son and never put my daughter in the bed with me . She sleeps fine on her own. Yet every day at nap time I have to lay there with him until he falls asleep. Same thing at night. What my pediatrician recommended is to not lay in the bed with him. Every night sit next to the bed and then move a little further the next night and so on. Also a good bedtime routine is also important. Try to get him into that now before the new baby is born because once the baby is here you will probably be to tired to try and argue with him that he has to use the potty and brush his teeth and put pj's on. Sorry I don't mean to scare you but I have a two year old and a three year old and every little thing is a job especially nighttime ritual. What your doing is great just keep at it and do not lay in the bed with him, that is going to prolong it. Good luck!

My son refused to sleep in his bassinet or crib when he was a baby. He ended up co-sleeping with us until he was two, the birth of our daughter. The big thing that helped was his love of race cars. We found a toddler sized race car bed. A big bed can be lonely and scary for a little one. I placed pillows between the mattress and the side of the bed so he would not fall out, but if you use pillow cases that have your scent that may help too.