Breaking a Nervous Habit

My husband was a picker at a young age and he still picks at 61 years of age and yes bleeds. You might try working with a counselor (not a school counselor but a private one) they may be able to find something for him to talk about rather than pick. It helps! Good luck!

I do this, without even realizing it, especially when I'm running. I find that if I have something else to occupy my hands, I don't do it as much. When I run, I either hold onto something or wear something, my sweatshirt with thumbholes, that distracts me from picking at my thumbs until they bleed. Also, when my boyfriend points out that I'm doing it, it usually helps, for a couple minutes.

HI A.,

My son also does that but I don't think he does it because he's nervous. If he feels a hangnail or loose skin or cuticle he'll start to pick at it. I'm a manicurist, so I would suggest that after his bath, check his nails to make sure there isn't anything for him to pick at. If you find anything it will be easier to cut after he's had a bath when the skin is still soft. Use cuticle nippers so you can get as much of the dry skin off. If it's really bad, at night rub some cuticle oil around his nails to keep them from being so dry. If he sucks his thumb, then I would use olive oil. As long as you keep it soft and trimmed it should be okay and he won't have anything to pick at. Good luck, hope that helps!

D.

he may have anxiety causing him to pick at his skin. My niece has a slight case of autism and she picks at her skin a lot especially when anxious or nervous. She also likes to scratch her skin very hard and doesn't feel pain from it so will pick or scratch until bleeding and doesn't realize she is hurting herself to the point of scratches so sometimes she wears an ace bandage on her arms to keep her from picking and scratching at them. It is hard to keep her from picking her fingers though so whenever we catch her doing it we try to give her something else to do to keep her hands busy.

i agree with trying to give him something else to "worry" at, a stone or a lucky "something". talk to him about how he (probably) does it when he's nervous or stressed, and then tell him the consequences (mostly the pain! -since he's six the other consequences might be over his head) that he can avoid if he just worries on his little item instead. i don't know, a stone or maybe silly putty, or a keychain, something small that won't be noticeable, maybe he could keep it in his pocket and try to remember to use it instead of working at his fingers. hope you find a solution.

When trying to stop an undesirable or 'negative' behavior, it is always important to remember to REPLACE the behavior, not just stop it. Your son is 'picking' for some reason - who knows what it is, so the reason will still be there whether the picking is there or not. It sounds like he is very tactile. Give him something that is OK for him to physically touch or play with. You may want to discuss with his teacher what she would find to be OK and not distracting to the rest of the class. In my experience as a first grade teacher, this was the best result for stopping one undesirable behavior - to replace it with one that is safer and less distracting to him and others.

There is this stuff you can buy to stop kids from biting their fingernails. If you put it on his nails it will get in his mouth and it tastes AWFUL! This is advice only if he uses his mouth to peal at the skin. Hopefully this will help.

I had a similar problem at that age. It just sounds like he has a for of OCD that gets worse during times of stress. I'm 24 years old and have Tourette's Syndrome and the symptoms cropped up when I entered kindergarten. I was virtually 'tick-free' all summer but as soon as the word school was mentioned I began to tick again (literally the instant my mom mentioned going shopping for school it started) Now I'm just using my particular condition as an example so don't freak out thinking your son has it b/c he probably doesn't (only 2% of the entire world population have it and less than 2% of them have it to the degree that the media plays it in movie & t.v. which is why I despise that kind of humor) He just has a nervous tick like some people 'jiggle' their knee under a table, tap their pen on the desk, your son picks @ his finger skin. Honestly I would just keep an eye on it with bandaids and some neosporin to prevent infection & further injury. If it gets worse or doesn't improve maybe do something over the summer that discourages it by making it difficult to do like duckt taping clubby bandages around his thumbs so he can't get at them ( I say over the summer so that the other kids don't make fun of them & if the teacher finds them distracting she may think he attatched them to himself for attention and remove them so summer is the best time to break a habit like that) If any other ideas like that don't work, obviously call the Dr. to see what they think should be done. Just in case the Dr. wants to see him it might be helpful to keep a record of his behavior to bring with you to an appointment to see if there is a pattern to the behavior (to see if there is any activity or knowlege of an upcoming event that increases behavior) Hope it works out, good luck!

I don't think this is anything unusual to worry about. Many people have a nervous habit of some kind - grinding their teeth, biting their lip, twirling their hair, biting their nails, even smoking and eating. I do what your soon does, but as I've gotten older, I try to be more aware and I'm a little better about not doing it as much. Try to help him by saying something like, I notice your picking at your skin again. Is there something on your mind? Maybe talking about it will help him. Or get him doing something with his hands so they are busy and unavailable for picking like building with Legos or painting or something. Good luck!

Give the child a belt to pick on my husband is 52 years old and has a nervous problem and he picks on a end of a leather belt.
My Son (29years old) has the same thing and he has a “special” sheet that he sleeps with every night to pick on so I would say give him something that he can carry around with him.
A belt end would probably be the best bet here. Get a old belt and cut it so that it would fit in his hand and when he has widdled it down to small get him another one.
Good luck

I'm 44 and I still do the same thing.

Yes, I have been known to make my thumbs bleed.

It's worse when I am highly stressed, or nervous.

It's very hard for me to stop, but it comes down to a mind over matter...I have to just will myself not to pick. I also give myself a weekly manicure (without polish) and keep my cuticles trimmed so there is no thick skin, or hangnails along my fingernail to tempt me to pick.

Other than that, it was quite a bit better when I was taking anti-depressants.

It's stress that is triggering this, I would bet almost anything. I do this when I'm stressing, and don't even know I'm doing it. MY grandmother also did this and she got a worry stone to rub instead and broke herself of it, and I actually "inherited" the worry stone but never think to use it. LOL

If it doesn't develop into a full blown OCD, for instance Picking at wounds and scabs as well, then he's probably just going to have to redirect the nervous habit to doing something else (like the worry stone). but to be sure it's not a more serious issue I would mention it to the doctor next time you are there, or even make an appointment to specifically discuss this issue.
Good luck, and when the raw areas on his thumbs are really sore(cause they'll get painful) do try to use an antibiotic ointment with lanacain or some topical numbing agent with a bandaid. It'll help it to heal.

It seems to me that picking at the bandaid would be better than picking at the thumbs. You have 2 things to overcome. Something started this. He may do it when he is nervous. But he found a bit of loose or dead skin at first to pick at. Maybe it was dry skin, eczema, psoriasis etc. So I think you need to heal those thumbs at all costs. Try putting neosporin on the thumbs every night before bed with bandaids. Get some good, tough waterproof ones that don't easily peal off right away. I have very bad dry skin that crack and peel. The neosporin helps me a great deal. If I were you, I'd remove the night-time bandaid in the am and repeat with more neosporin. He'll likely peel it off at school at some point giving it breathing time. I really think if he gets to feel what it's like having healthy thumbs again he'll be much happier. He's gotten used to this and has forgotten how nice the absence of pain is.

The 2nd thing is to replace the nervous habit with something else. Maybe he could have one of those worry stones that people rub their thumbs on. Or maybe you could let him wear something like that around his neck. Talk to his teachers and see if they can't help a bit. Maybe if they give him a little more attention or look out for what's bothering him he won't be so nervous.

Suzi

I understand his habit. I have two finger that seem to produce more hang nails than I thought possible. It is a constant irritation to me and therefore I pick. But as an adult I also know that doing so will cause it to be worse so I force myself to stop at a certain point. I would think that he has a reason to physically feel the need to pick at them, and then it becomes a habit. As long as they are hurting and the skin is irritated the urge will still be there. He is old enough to understand infection and if I were you I would stop concentrating on the behavior and start focusing on the health side of it. Explain that you are concerned about infection and that you feel the need to treat them until they are healed. Make him part of the process explaining that with him school and playing outside it would so easy for them to get infected that he must keep them clean and covered. Explain how the germs on his other fingers will cause an infection as he touches it and pokes at it so he has to be very careful. All of this is over dramatic of course but it will give him soemthing to worry about and make him more aware of the need to care for them as they heal.

I also think at the same time he should be give reminder tool. The old rule about putting a ribbon on your finger to remind you of soemthing works. Give him a something for his pocket, or on a chain, or even a leather bracelet something cool. Everytime he sees it tell him he should remember his thumbs are healing and that they should not be touched. Tell him that if he wants to play with what ever you have given him that it would make a good substitute.

I hope all of this helps.

I have found that you cannot extinguish one behavior if you dont give him something else to do to replace that behavior. Give him some squishy toys to fidget with instead of using his hands and fingers to hurt himself. Give him something else to do with his hands when he gets nervous. G.

Is it possible your son may have a form of ADHD? Sometimes nervous habits can be an indicator. Especially with school starting, for these kids, sometimes the expectations are very overwhelming. Your pediatrician can do a screening in the office for you. You also may ask your child's teacher what she observes in the classroom..is it very noisy, overstimulating, or a large class size? Just some ideas.

I am 26 and do the same thing. I did not do it much until after I had children...stress and life. I don't even realize I an doing it half the time until my husband says something or pats my hands. I have noticed my children do it also. If there is the least little big of skin that is uneven with the rest, it becomes the magnet. Also, if my nails have broken and there is a corner, I start bending it till it breaks. The only time I have not messed with my fingers was when I had a manicure with full set. I felt differently about my fingers. I realize you can't do that with your son though, but try and keep thing trimmed well. They sell little clippers just for hangnails. I hope this helped at least with understanding of what he is doing.