My son is recently 9 and has started chewing and "picking" at his nails and cuticles, even his toe nails. He has *tentitively* been diagnosed ADHD and has an appt in 2 weeks to be tested to know for sure. He is on Vyvanse which has helped him focus during school. There are a few things that have been on his mind and he's been worried about. Such as not being able to play with a certain friend during lunch as well as *hoping* to be invited to a couple classmates bday parties that he also knows outside of school.
He HATES that he does this but can't seem to stop. Yesteday he had a very bad day. Super sensitive about everything and very weepy. At one point, he stared to cry and said he was "so weird". I asked him why and he said because he can't stop chewing his nails...oh my poor baby!!! What can I do to help him?
Maybe it is too much medicine. Ask the doctor if you can give him a little bit less of it. Some mediciines make the person taking it feel weird, like he said. And he is so stressed out that he chews.
I second Rosebud by reassuring your son he is totally normal. Plenty of us pick, chew, bite, nibble and all of the rest of it. I am way older than your son and I still pick my hands when I am thinking or nervous or whatever that sets me off. Beyond potential medical concerns you should discuss with your doctor, I find a few things help me. I chew a lot of sugar free gum and I also try to keep my hands full, meaning I always carry a pencil or a pen or something. I have also been known to sit on my hands during a particularly boring meeting or class. I personally hate when someone tells me I'm picking so make sure you aren't aggravating the situation by discussing that approach with him first. I also resisted all of my mother’s efforts with various foul tasting potions so that approach may or may not work with your son. I would suggest he focus on taking this in small steps to give him confidence he can control this. Maybe for a few days he works on not picking in the morning. Then gradually set it to whole days and then weeks. Good luck and best wishes for your son.
Can you put him in sports?
As a long time biter, picker, chewer and all the rest of it myself, one thing you can tell your son is that LOTS of people pick and chew their nails, and that he's completely normal.
Meantime, try to get him into a sport, or something physical, so he can burn off his anxiety.
You can put something on his nails that doesn't taste good, but my mom did that to me to stop me from sucking my thumb and I hated it. I wouldn't do that to him. I used to bite my nails to the quick and finally decided I wanted to break the habit. MInd you, I was well into my 20's so the habit was really ingrained in me. I think it might help him if when you see him doing it, you just say something, like a word that the two of you agree on. That will be his reminder/cue. ONce you become aware of when you're doing it, it becomes easier to stop.
Maybe give him a stress ball or something else he can hold/play with etc when he is feeling stressed? It sounds like this might be a nervous habit. You could ask your pediatrician or the school counselor for some tips. I wish I had some other advice for you. Good luck! I hope you find something that helps him feel more at ease with himself.
I have bitten and picked at my fingers and any little roughness on my skin since early childhood. I think I was a tense, anxious child and teen, and no matter how hard I tried I could not stop until my senior year in high school. Even now, though, I have to stop myself many times daily.
Relaxation helps. Activity helps 'spend' that energy. Noticing boredom and doing something helps. Condemning the behavior (by others or self) only increases anxiety and tension, so it backfires.
Finding alternative behaviors helps. In my case, I 'worry' other things with my fingers; a worry stone, a bead necklace, the hem of a soft shirt, my hair, for relaxing touch, or I gouge the edges of folded paper or a styrofoam cup if I'm at a committee meeting.
I hope you'll encourage your son to be easy on himself. His body has discovered this 'outlet' for self-soothing, and so it is serving him, even though he would rather not do it. At some point, he will find another solution if he really wants one. Until then, he's really 'normal.'
Isn't there something you can put on his nails that tastes bad?
I have 3 kids with multiple diagnosis, including ADHD. I also have a degree in Psychology and have worked in the behavioral health field for over 5 years. What you're describing your son has is obsessions and compulsions. Chances are he does the biting and picking to feel better about something. The ADHD meds will make it a lot worse. He needs a anti- depressant, an SSRI, like Celexa. My daughter picks and chews her nails and lips until they bleed. She is on Concerta and Celexa and it works wonders. Good Luck to you.
Poor little guy! I know how he feels. I'll tell you that drawing attention to it causes more stress which in turn causes more picking. While I don't bite my nails, I do pick and bite at my cuticles. It doesn't help that the skin on my hands is horribly dry. It's really bad in the winter and I find I pick at my cuticles more during the winter months. Try putting a light coating of petroleum jelly on his hands if you can and trim any hanging skin or rough nails. I do this at night. If there is nothing hanging, then it's not as much of a temptation. Also you can try putting a rubber band on his wrist. He can snap and fiddle with that instead of biting his cuticles and nails. I have found that helps me when I get really bad about it, or if I am under a lot of stress. Hope this helps!
I do the same thing with the cuticles. I've found that a cuticle nipper helps. I tend to pick more when the dry skin around the cuticle sticks out. Just nip it off. Also, using lotion helps them from getting dry and decreases the need to pick. Mayne if he wears socks more around the house he'll be less likely to pick at the toes.
