Bottle Refusal

Are YOU giving her the bottle? I recommend that you are not in the room when the bottle is offered. and, sounds harsh, but, if she is hungry enough she will take it.

Small suggestion - my son had a difficult time taking bottles at first. We also tried several different types. But what seemed to work was my husband hitting just the right spot in his mouth that got that sucking reflex going. It was very strange, but it was like a "sweet spot". I think it was the roof of his mouth, towards the front. Such a small thing, but if I remember correctly, it was the key (along with perserverance). It may be small things like this that will work. Maybe even the way she is held next to whomever is feeding her could make a difference (I've heard positioning them in a "breastfeeding stance" can help). Good luck. It will happen.

We went through the same thing with my DD who is now almost 7 months. It was really rough and she protested (very vocally) the bottle. We tried every different brand...different nipples...slipping it to her while she slept. Everything. The only thing that finally worked for us was me being diligent. I devoted one entire day to it. I would stroll with her in my arms while trying to feed her a bottle (making it different than our BF position). Also, I would stop when she would scream and just comfort her. Eventually after numerous attemps and hours of trying...she took an entire bottle and we never had a problem since. Make sure you are using a nipple that is slow flow....closer to the breast. The faster nipples would gag her. Also, I found she would only take breast milk OR formula..not a mix. The BREAST Flow bottle was the only one she would take for the first few weeks of bottle feeding...but I hated that bottle and it gave her gas and she slowly started accepting other brands. We now use Avent nipples and Born Free bottles.

Hi K.,

I had to respond as we went through the exact same issue. It was horrible, I could never leave my son for more than 2-3 hrs. I'd urge you not to use one of the various "cry it out" methods; unnecessarily traumatic for everyone involved! (You'll probably hear of moms who left the baby with dad for the day or weekend, or who refused to nurse the baby and let her cry until she took the bottle, or something like that).

We went the gradual route; it takes time, no getting around that. It's good that you don't have to start work until October. We tried EVERYTHING under the sun, and what finally started the process working was offering him a bottle when he was just starting to wake up, but still 90% asleep. He took the whole 4 oz without realizing it! We just kept doing that, and letting him play with the bottle when he was awake (mostly when being changed), and he finally stopped resisting.

Good luck....this bottle refusal was probably the hardest issue we had to deal with, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

--R.

P.S. You probably will or have been trying loads of different bottles/nipples. Just so you know, Babies R Us will let you return the ones she doesn't take to; saves a lot of $$, cause they add up!

my friend just went through this. They just kept offering the bottle and in time he accepted it.

I'm sure you'll get lots of input on how to get your daughter to take the bottle; I did too when I was in your situation; however, nothing worked. The good news is my children are 3 and 6 and we successfully worked through this. Since your daughter will most likely be on solids by the time you go to work she can explore these foods and water through a sippy cup while you are at work and cuddle and nurse with you when you are home. Yes, this may mean late night feedings to make-up for time/nursing missed while you are at work, but remember this is just a short period of time and those feedings are nice relaxing opportunities to enjoy your daughter after a long day of work (feedings got me out of fixing dinner for my husband, he realized I couldn't do both). I also never needed to pump while I was at work (something I hated) because my body adjusted to my child's new nursing schedule (6 pm to 6 am instead of 6 am to 10 pm). Good luck, remember its just a short period of time and then you'll miss cuddling/nursing your daughter someday(I do and I nursed both of my kids until they were 16 months old, while working full-time).

My daughter was exclusively breast fed and also refused the bottle after about 4 months. We tried several different bottles and finally tried sippy cups. The only one she liked was the straw type sippy cup. The one we use is by Nuby. It took her a little while to figure it out, but once she did, she loved it. She is now one and off breast feeding and drinks perfectly from the straw cup. Good luck! ~ C.

*Position* - several friends have had better success putting baby in an up-right position (not laying down). When they're in the upright position, they know its not a "breastfeeding" position and to expect something else. Also, facing outwards sometimes helps instead of facing toward baby.
*Temperature* - change the temperature of the expressed breast milk (try breastmilk before formula since its more familiar). Make it a bit cooler than in the past, try a bit warmer. I babysat a little boy who was VERY picky about the temp of his milk. Once I figured it out, we were great!
*bottle or nipple type* - changing the bottle nipple will many times help. Some babies prefer Silicone, others like Latex. Also, some moms go straight to “sippy” cups (you can remove the valve if that’s easier). The Adiri Breastbottle nurser has helped a lot of moms get their baby to take a bottle because it’s more “breast-like”.
*Body Language* - babies are VERY receptive to our body language and tones, so try and stay as relaxed as possible and not let the baby know that you (or any other caregiver) are anxious or upset about the situation in the least. It may be upsetting to you, but try not to let the little one know that.
*Mommy gone* - of course you know Mommy should not be in the room (preferably not in the house) when someone else is trying to feed the baby. S/He should not hear, see, or (yes) smell Mommy. Its tough, but if s/he knows you're around, s/he may just hold out a bit longer for the breasts.

Remember, something that doesn't work today, might just do the trick tomorrow, so don't give up!!

L. R. - Lactation Educator
Elite Breastfeeding Supplies

Hi K. J.

Well, I read through all the reponses that you received because I actually have the same problem. I am a first time mom and my baby is almost 5 months old and I'm going back to work next week. He only recently started taking the bottle. I'm worried that he doesn't seem to like formula though and I can't seem to pump enough to keep him full while I'm away but that's digressing and a different issue.

I think you got all the advice I would give.

a) you can try different bottles and nipples - expensive but babies can have a preference for things too - what worked for me is the wide-mouthed, born-free bottles, the nipple keeps his mouth open like when his mouth is around my nipple and breast (plus they're the safe plastic)
b) you can give the baby more time, which is what I think worked best for me - I started trying at 2 months to feed him a bottle but had very little success until just recently at a little over 4 months when he started to put other things in his mouth - your little one may just need more time
c) consistency - ever since my baby took the bottle, I've been feeding him twice a day with it during the daytime and at night I still solely breastfeed him like it will be when I go back to work
d) I consulted my Pediatrician about it and she said don't worry he won't starve so this made me feel much better and I had much more confidence

As I said before this is a repeat of all the advice that you got but at least you know you're not alone. It actually helped me to read all the responses and learn that many others have gone through it and the different things they tried. It's nice to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

G. T.
LaCrescenta, CA

My daughter(now 15 months old) is the same. We tried all kinds of nipples and bottles. But when I had to leave her she would cry and not drink out of the bottle . . . finally she gave in. It was torture. But when she was hungry enough she would drink out of the bottle, only if I wasn't around. But I've been able to stay at home with her so I only breastfeed her unless I really need to go out or I take her with me. But at about 5 or 6 months she was able to drink out of a cup with assistance or a straw using dropper method which she seemed to prefer to a bottle nipple.
Blessings,
Mama M.

Let me say I have two kids. My first went on a bottle at 10 days so I could go back to work (I could not take leave). Within a couple of weeks my husband could bottle feed him.

Two years later I had our second. I am a teacher so I was home for about 8 weeks with her. I breastfeed for the entire 8 weeks. When I went back to work the trouble began. We tried everything - including a couple trips to the pediatrician. Nothing worked. She just hated the bottle. Finally the pediatrician told me that frozen or "old" milk does taste different. So I tried pumping in the am and she got that bottle in the pm (It worked for one week). Then we all decided that she just would not take a bottle. So we started her on formula at about five months. (This was only two nights a week so not a huge deal). It was soon, but she could eat while I worked. I would nurse her when I dropped her off with my husband, then I would come home after work and nurse her again. I have talked to other moms who had the same problem. One of them has the sitter bring the baby to work at a specific time, so she can nurse the baby.

The most important thing to remember is that the baby will not starve itself. She will eat eventually. So hang in there. The best part, my second eats everything - including Thai. My first has a fruit, veggies, nuts and cheese diet. So now he is more challenging. :). Good luck

My daughter refused a bottle of any sort - we started a sippy cup around 5 months and that worked great for us

I had the same problem with both of my girls!! I tried everything! I finally just gave her a sippy cup. There were days that she would take my milk and days she wouldn't. By the time she was on solids, she just figured out that she could fill up on food and not need much milk. My girls were stubborn!! Good luck! I finally started giving my youngest cows milk at 11 months while she was at daycare. She loved it! I still breastfed when I was with her and then cut her off just after her bday.

Hi K.,
My son is 5 months old and I breast feed exclusively also...and he won't take a bottle either! I tried the Adiri bottle but it didn't work either. He likes to chew on the nipples but when the milk comes he refuses it. The only thing he will take is the Born Free Training Cup. It has a soft nozzle and doesn't leak. Granted, I've only given him chamomile tea in it, but he drinks that like a champ! Another thing he will do is drink straight out of a cup - with a lot of help of course. Good luck!

We had a similar problem with my daughter. Stick with it! We used Dr. Brown's. The thing that helped the most (we went through this at 2 months as that is when I went back to work) was switching to a level 2 nipple. I think it better matched the flow she was getting from me. She also needed her bottles a little on the warmer side. We were making them more room temp as we had for my son. Eventually she has gotten used to room temp bottles. Good luck!

I haven't read your other responses yet, so forgive me if this is a repeat...

Have you tried the Breast Bottle by Adiri? It's designed to look and feel (to the baby) like a breast. The nipple design is much more like a mother's nipple also.

Good Luck!

I had the same problem with my daugter when I was getting ready to go back to work when she was 6 months old, and was very concerned, but she did take the bottle from the nanny. Don't worry to much, she will get hungry and take the bottle once you start working. Nannys/childcare workers seem to have tricks up their sleeve to make it work. She'll get used to the routine - breast from mom, bottle from caregiver. It will be an everyday thing, and she'll know you aren't there to nurse her, so she'll adjust.

when i went to my breast feeding course. They said that when you introduce the bottle the first time after breastfeeding exclusivley. The Mom should leave the house right before feeding time go and get your nails done or something beacause the baby can smell you and your milk and why would they want the bottle when they want the real thing just leave dad there or grandma.

I am also a breastfeeding mom, currently with my third daughter who is 10 months old. When my second daughter was a baby (now 3), she refused bottles of breastmilk too. She only wanted to nurse! Unfortunately I was working which made this very difficult. My husband and I tried many strategies, including changing bottles and nipples. What worked for us was:
1. having someone other that me, usually my husband, give her the bottle
2. making sure at the bottle feeding I was out of the room, preferably out of the house (so she didn't smell me :)
3. NOT GIVING UP. This was really important. We finally figured out that she had to cry until she would take the bottle (this was particularly hard on both of us), but our daughter survived!
4. making sure he, a friend, or family member fed her with a bottle daily for the first week or so until she was taking it without protest.

I hope this helps. I really understand how difficult it is and wish you and your daughter the best of luck.

E. E.

A little about me:

Mother of 3 amazing daughters, ages 7, 3, and 10 months.

What worked for us (after trying MULTIPLE bottles, nipples, etc) was a latex nipple- I think it must be softer and more like the real deal. Anyway, of course daddy fed him and I actually left the house for a bit just for the feeding (maybe they can sense/smell if your in another room?). Once he took the bottle, we made sure that daddy gave him a bottle at least three times a week before I went back to work...and a couple months later I tried a different bottle (I HATED the Playtex drop-ins we had to use)....and he took it no problem!
Good luck! I know how anxious you can be about this...especially with going back to work!

Hi K.,
I breastfeed my baby boy (9months) and also give formula. I had a clogged milk duct around 2 months and was taking antibiotics. I had to give baby to daddy to feed or tried feeding him (holding him facing out) but not facing him towards me. It took a little while for him to get used to the nipple (second nature- has multiple holes) and although he sometimes choked we tried holding the bottles different positions. We even tried the boob bottle (the one that looks like a boob). We waited until he was truly hungry and later I was able to use all different kinds of nipples. Then I started out mixing half breastmilk and half formula so that he could still taste the breastmilk. We also tried offering the bottle at different times, sometimes he was crying, sometimes he was in a happy mood. He's a good eater, so he seemed to take food anyway he can get it, although he still prefers breastfeeding, he'll take 2-4 ounces of formula at a time- more to quench his thirst.

Oh, I so feel your pain. It's what happened to us with DS1. He REFUSED to take a bottle, but I had to go back to work. Thankfully spouse and I were splitting our schedule, so it was daddy who got stuck dealing with it (rather than in-laws or daycare folk, I mean :) ). But he really had a hard time. Below are some of the things we did:

#1 is hard: YOU can't be the one to train her. She knows you have the goods and will resist. You probably shouldn't even be in the house while training is going on. It's amazing how strong willed these little people can be, but they know what they want and hold out for a long time.

#2 is harder: both of my sons reversed their feeding schedules from day feeding to night feeding when I went back to work. We practiced family bed and they got most of their milk at night. I did nothing to encourage this (except for co-sleeping so that I could sleep through the feedings) it just happened. If the Breastaurant was only available at night, then THAT's when they both wanted to eat. It made the pressure on the day-care person (in our case, daddy) MUCH lighter because we knew baby wouldn't starve. Yes, I was exhausted, but it was worth it. (I couldn't pump much, so this was a way to get more breast milk into him.)

#2b We used a "co-sleeper" made by Arms Reach -- it's a 3-sided bassinet that attaches to the bed: http://www.armsreach.com/pages/about-us-pv-c10-1.html

#3 try a dental syringe or a medicine syringe (the dental one has a finer point, and you can get them from any lactation consultant). After trying to get the baby to take the bottle you can squirt the milk into her mouth to make sure she's getting something.

#4 keep trying different bottles until you find one. (Dr. Browns worked for us, but I can't tell you how many we went through!)

#5 I've seen the sippy cup mentioned here. We used that too and it did work. It was really messy though <grin>. But whatever works, right?

#6 La Leche League has some 1 oz cups that are meant for babies to "lap" the milk from. They're actually to keep a small baby from getting "nipple confusion" when you don't want to give a bottle just yet. But we found them helpful to make sure our son got something in him when we were trying to bottle train him. You can get them from the League's website.

update: I just went to the League site and it seems they don't have those anymore :( They do have a "feeding cup" -- it has a lid and is sturdy (http://store.llli.org/public/profile/314) but if you already have a cup you might want to use that instead.

#7 in 2 weeks you can start her on some "real" food -- but don't overdo (better to wait until 6 months if you can). For her first food, mix one of the following with breast milk until its drippy: avocado, sweet potato, banana. Baby's tummy can handle these foods easily. Hold off on any grains. And be sure to get pictures -- it'll be messy but fun.

#7b Get this book: "Super Baby Food." It was AWESOME. It has what foods baby can stomach at each month, easy easy easy ways to MAKE (rather than buy) baby food, and a lot about nutrition. I can't rave enough about this wonderful book. You can get it here: http://www.powells.com/s?kw=super+baby+food&amp;x=0&amp;y=0 Also helpful was a "food mill": http://store.llli.org/public/profile/138

#8 I also found this book really helpful: "Nursing Mother, Working Mother" -- it had a lot of really good stuff. You can get it here: http://store.llli.org/public/profile/164 or probably from Amazon or Powells.

Good luck hon. I know what you're going through. This too shall pass, and then it makes a GREAT story. Later. When it's not so frustrating...

Hi K.,
I also had the same problem & never actually got my daughter to take a bottle. It was a great stress on me, until I finally weened her (around 13 months). So getting her to drink cow's milk when I weened her was a bit of a process as well, but perhaps you can use the same technique! She would NOT drink the cows milk out of any bottle, sippy, "special cup" AT ALL. But I did not give up and continued to give it to her around the same time every day. She eventually started to drink it & now drinks it regularly. I know this may be very different because she was a toddler - but it can't hurt to try. A friend of mine who also nursed said she would give her daughter a bottle for at least 1 feeding every day and she eventually got used to it too! Good luck, I know how stressful it can be. Just try to stay relaxed and I am sure she will adjust.

I know this might sound crazy, but have you tried intruducing a cup? My Dr. said that a cup can be introduced as soon as the baby is able to sit up with head supported. My 2nd son was the same way, and refused a bottle altogether. He went straight from breast to cup. It did take a long time to completely wean him off the breast (he was at 10 months when I stopped the last night feeding before bed cold turkey). But personally, I'm glad that I introduced the cup as early as I did.

Good luck!

This is really NO HELP, but my daughter refused all bottles until she was around 6-7 months old. At six months she was eating quite a bit of regular food and was more receptive to a bottle. Maybe she just needs a few more months, good luck!

Have you tried leaving the house while your husband or other family members give the bottle? Sometimes it helps if your baby is unable to smell your scent and cannnot sense your presence around the house. Also, you may want to try to offer it while she is half asleep or in deep sleep. I went through the same thing with my older daughter and it really does take some time and lots and lots of patience. If your daughter is an avid nurser and nurses without problems, (emptying your breasts well)and is on a 3-4 hour schedule, it will help. This lets you know that she knows she's hungry and looks for food after a certain period of time. It is also important that you start to offer the bottle at 2-3 weeks of age so that she doesn't begin to prefer one over the other. A 3.5 month old can still be trained to drink from a bottle, just be persistent on trying. Goodluck to you.