My daughter wants a tea party for her birthday which is in the middle of June ( after school is out). She only wants to invite the girls (because it's a tea party) which is no problem with friends outside of school but her classmates... different story. Here's my problem- I don't want to give out invitations out in front of the boys at school and hurt anyone's feeling but how do I get these invites to the girls and their parents? I don't have addresses or phone numbers for all of them. Really my only shot at getting these to them is at school. What do I do? And please don't jump down my throat about not including everyone. My daughter has her heart set on a tea party- and this is her first party where she gets to invite friends- I really want to make her happy. Plus- I really don't think any of the boys would have fun with tea sets or decorating a floppy hat or with my friend the make up artist and I really want to make this fun for her and her friends. What do I do about the invitations?
Thanks Mamas! I don't know why it never occurred to me to ask her teacher. I emailed her yesterday and she said when I come in on Friday (my regular day to volunteer) I can just slip the invites into the girls' folders. She said if any of the boys ask we can tell them it's for a tea party and she said that should take care of it. :) Although I think I'm going to do what one Mama said and hand out little cards to the boys from my daughter saying something about it was fun this year, have a great summer. Brilliant idea Mama, Thanks!
I send the invites to school and let the teacher give them out. Then I don't have to worry about it and I enjoy not having to invite the whole class. If the teacher puts the invite in the cubby, no one really knows.
Our school policy has always been everyone or ALL of the boys or ALL of the girls. I'm sure the teacher could hand them out to all of the girls.
Isn't there a school directory? I would be shocked to find out if there isn't some sort of list of at least phone numbers for families. Could you and/or your daughter call her friends and ask for their address to send out invites? Or you could contact the parents and get their emails and do an evite. I get you want to make it easy on yourself, but if she passes them out at school I'm sure she'll have to be discreet.
Ask the teacher if there is a class mailing list or whether you can put the invites in the children's cubbies. Our son's teacher just emailed me the mailing list so I could invite select kids to our son's party. I think if you explain the situation to the teacher, you'll get some guidance on how to best handle this situation.
Is this something you would feel comfortable discussing with the teacher? I am sure that she/he might have a good suggestion?
Good luck!
I don't see the problem with inviting only girls - why don't you give the invitations to the teacher and ask him to put them with the papers that they send home for each child. Or maybe since it is the end of the year, you could have your daughter write a little card to each boy saying something like - it was nice having you in the same class this year - hope you have a great summer - see you next year. They won't know that the girls cards had invitations and their didn't.....just a thought......Good Luck!
In school, the TEACHER often has rules about this.
ie: the parent or the child, does NOT pass out the invitations themselves.
You give it to the Teacher.
The Teacher will then, give it to the child, discreetly... in their cubby or mailbox.
It is up to you, to just invite girls or not.
This is common practice.
You do not have to, invite everyone from class.
You invite your child's friends.
That is what I always do.
You prepare the invitations, BEFORE school gets out, and give it to the teacher.
Include RSVP info, and your e-mail and phone number, for parents to RSVP.
You also, designate ON the invitation:
IF it is a drop-off party or if a parent can come. You designate that the child can bring ONE parent. Otherwise, you may have people attending that will bring their whole entire family. And then you will have to pay for them/their kids too.
And designate, the time frame of the party.
And you designate, how many adults, will be supervising.
And you get the contact info,/phone number of any child that is not, having a parent there with them.
You say, you need a head-count.
I remember when I was a kid, there was a school rule about birthday invitations - you could invite ALL the girls, ALL the boys, or everyone in the class. If not, then you had to mail them out and not hand them out at school. I don't think the boys would be offended at not being invited to a tea party. ;) I think you're good to go handing them out at school as long as all the girls in the class are invited!
Ask the teacher to hand them out to the girls. It won't be a big deal.
Call the school b/c sometimes they will allow it if all of the girls and/or boys are invited. If they say "no", ask if you can have a copy of the addresses for the girls. Worst case... ask for phone numbers and call each parent.
The teacher can probably slip the invites in the Friday "take home" folder for the girls. Call and ask the teacher- the worst she can say is "no"!
Ask the teacher to obtain the information. Surely there has to be an email list of parents you can ask? did you receive a directory?
A lot of schools have a policy against giving out invites at the school if all the children aren't included so I say make more of an effort to get their info so you can send the invites. That way you can keep down any drama. Otherwise, show up earlier than usual to be there for the parents to pick up their kids and give the invites to them then.
Also, perhaps you could give your daughter little cards with your contact info such as an email address that you've made like "____@____.com" and asks the parents to contact you that way you "techinically" haven't broken the rules. When they contact you then you can explain why you had to do it that way.
Best wishes!
Many classes do "yearbooks" at the end of the year (just papers stapled into a book for friends to sign). If her class does this, she can get their addresses, or at least phone numbers, then. If not, maybe she (and you) can work on connecting with the girls & moms after school and getting addresses. You can just say you're trying to send out invitations in a few weeks.
It's tacky to hand out invitations at school if not all children are invited. There's no way to do it without someone feeling left out. Ask the parents for their addresses or phone numbers and mail the invites or call them. Or go to the school yourself and hand them directly to the parents. Still, all the kids are going to know they're party invites.
