I am going to have a 5th birthday party for my daughter this coming weekend. However, we have limited budget. this year we decided to have abirthday party at the kids gym. where we can afford only 15 kids. we decided to invite only Girls in my daughter classmate. unfortunately, that one of mom said she will bring her daughter and her son along (her son is not my daughter's classmate). she doesn't even ask me if it is ok to take him to the party or not.
What I should say? is it ok to say like this? " Unfortunately, this is a girls only party and have invited only girls classmates of our daughter only. we been allocated certain number of invites for this party and we have already used up all of our allotment by the facility. However, your son are welcome to join us during Pizza time. I hope you will understand our situation here."
or should I say
Theme for the birthday party is Fairy Princess Party and I invited the girls classmates of our daughter to the party.
I am not sure if your son will feel ok for participate around only one boy in the party or not. Also, we have booked a party for only 15 people & that the party is for invited guests only. If, you think your son will be ok to participate in the acitivities, he is welcome to join us, but it will be $12 for him to participate. If he doesn't want to participate, he is still welcome to join during pizza time. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have questions. I hope you will understand our situation here.
Hope it is not too rough to tell this woman this way... any suggestion.
thank you for all the answers. it is so helpful. I cannot believe it. host the party is easy but deal with the guests is more difficult.. . I just sent replied to the mom that Thank you for your replying about coming to my daughter's birthday party this Sat. I would like to inform you that the invitation is for only one guest only as we have been allocated certain number of invites for this party and we have already used them all up. If your son would like to participate in the activities, the cost is $12 at the door by the adult who is bringing him. Nonetheless your son is certainly welcome to join us during Pizza time. I hope you will understand our situation here. I will update to see how she reply.
She never replied and she showed up with her son and she sneak her son inside the activities room without talking about the fee. I definitely don't invite her to come again. However, I met many parents who have good manner and they talked with me about bring the sibling. One parent took twin sibling to the party with individual present for my daughter.
What is with people and thinking that siblings are automatically invited to parties?
I'd tell her you only have 15 slots and they have been filled and if he would like to attend the cost is $12 at the door.
I would just say "Sorry, the gym only allows a certain number of children and we already have 15 kids coming." No need to go into "girls only" or the theme of the party. Certainly she can drop her daughter off at the party and go do something else with her son. My daughters are only two years apart. I would never presume to bring siblings if they were not specifically invited.
I think it is very generous of you to offer to allow her son to come for pizza. It's perfectly ok to say that you're very sorry, but you are limited by the facility to 15 kids at the gym and you have filled all of the spots with your daughter's friends and classmates.
It amazes me how many people these days feel that an invitation for one child includes all the siblings as well. I would never assume that I could bring other kids to a party like that.
I would not mention the fairy princess part, or that maybe her son would feel uncomfortable being the only boy, or even the girls only parts. I would simply stick to the part about the classmates and the number of guests you planned for and paid for.
The upside of having your party at a party establishment is that the manager of the facility can be your "bad guy". You paid in advance for your guests. If some mother tries to slip in an extra kid, the manager will know how to deal with that. So you might alert the staff in advance that you did not invite this boy, he is not in your daughter's class, and that you will not be planning on accommodating him.
I do not understand how some moms think. I once knew a mom who had two kids. She made sure, by whatever means necessary, that if one kid was invited somewhere, the other was too. She even went to this extent: when it was one kid's birthday, she didn't want the other kid to be left out. So she actually baked the other kid a cake and bought the other kid presents! And their birthdays were nowhere near the same date. I think that kind of behavior teaches the kids such wrong feelings of entitlement. Life is never exactly 100% even.
Don't make apologies.
Well, my kids are older and I've thrown my share of parties.
Often, we literally invited moms, dads, siblings and cousins because of the nature of the outdoor party. One of my son's parties, we had half the town and I'm not kidding. BUT, we specified that it was come one, come all. We were prepared for it.
However, there were plenty of times when the parties were a little more intimate as far as the guest list.
For instance, one of my daughter's favorite parties was a slumber party. She was turning 6. We had 6 girls. Two of the girls had little sisters and their mothers never even mentioned including them. I sent all the girls home with cake for mom, dad, siblings. I also had little bracelets for the girls to take to their sisters.
I have noticed more recently that parents who have a child invited to a party expect it to include siblings. They think it's not fair for one child to go and not the other(s).
I disagree with that philosophy. My kids are 10 years apart. There is no way I would expect my son to be included in his older sister's birthday parties anymore than I would expect her to pitch a fit about not being invited to a party for 3 year olds.
My sister and I are only 3 years apart. It wasn't expected that I would go to the parties she was invited to or vice versa.
That seems to be a new fangled idea where it's somehow traumatizing for one sibling to be left out of something even when it comes to people who they don't know.
I would just say "I budgeted for 15 children, all girls that my daughter is close friends with. I am hoping for a successful party and I didn't budget for extra children. The gym time alone is $12/kid and that's not counting pizza, the cake, etc. When you come to pick her up, I'd be happy to let your son have a piece of pizza or some cake, but I can't manage changing my reservation for 15 kids at the gym to include someone else when it's already been paid for.
I hope you understand."
Hopefully, she will take her son somewhere to have some fun time with him until it's time to pick sister up.
Like I said, I've definitely noticed that a birthday invitation for one seems to be perceived as an invitation for all siblings and as someone who has 90% of the time had an open door policy, sometimes I didn't for specific reasons.
You seem like a wonderful person trying to accommodate and do the right thing.
I think parents need to stop believing that if one kid gets to do something the other kid or kids HAVE to be included. We're talking about a girls birthday party.
I wish you the best and hope it works out.
I'd leave out the "Unfortunately" and that the party is for girls, and say "we've been allocated a certain number of invites for this party and we have already used them all up. But your son is certainly welcome to join us during Pizza time. I hope you understand our situation here." And smile.
People do make assumptions and she won't know she can't do it unless you bring it to her attention. Have a fun party!
I wouldn't say anthing about it being a girls only party. Just mention you're at your guest limit and the gym can't accomodate any more children. Yes, very nice of you to invite him for pizza, though. Of course, you do not have to accomodate siblings. That could add on another 10-15 kids to your guest list! It was rude for her to expect to be able to bring him. If anything, she should have asked (and not told you) you if she could bring her son.
When a party is at someone's house and kids are really young, often siblings come. But at an outside place like this, I would never assume to bring a sibling. She is in the wrong and how you plan to address it sounds perfect to me.
I don't think I would say anything about it being a "girls only" party, but rather that unfortunately, you only budgeted for 15 children and that's all you can plan for right now. Personally, I find it rude of her to just decide to bring her son along too without asking if it would be okay.
I find that a little rude on her part. I agree with the others, just say you are only alowd to have 15 kids because that is what you paid for and booked.
$12 at the door. Here is my ? about this to give you more support.
You could always tell her "Oh how fun for him!!! I can find out for you how much he'll cost if you'd like...".
I agree with the PP I would just state that you have booked a party for only 15 people & that the party is for invited guests only
.
I would keep it short and sweet..."oh, I'd love to have your son come, too, but we only have 15 allotted slots and have filled them up. If you want to pay the $12 entrance fee for him he can definitely join us for pizza and cake!".
M daughters are less than 2 yrs apart and I'd never assume one is invited to the others friend's party. Maybe the over mom isn't familiar with parties at locations like this and that YOU have to pay for each kid coming? Just phrase it to her as I suggested and I bet she'll be fine with it.
Good luck and happy birthday to your daughter!
Wow....not sure I am much help here...I think either way would be fine...I am pregnant with my first. I have been amazed for some time see the elaborate parties people throw these days for their children...I think it is very nice that you are having such a wonderful party in the first place and very rude that someone at anytime let alone in these economic times would just assume they could bring uninvited guests. - I am trying to understand that she may not have daycare for her son that day...but I think she should have asked if it was alright for her to drop off her little girl and not stay since she has a second child...I am thinking that maybe I would choose the first way and then if she offers to pay for him on her own then happy say that would be fine.
When ever I did parties for my son I always allow for siblings to attend. I would hate for a friend not to come just because the sibling cant.
At least this lady warned you so you had some time to let her know that would not work. I had a party for my son and one child brought both his older and younger sister to the party. What the?
