Birthday Party and Babysitting Dilemma

Updated on January 31, 2012
M.A. asks from Jersey City, NJ
15 answers

I have a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old who were invited to a birthday party this morning.
The first mistake was that the Mom sent the email invitation to my husband who told me about it in passing but, then let it sit. His cousin reminded us about it yesterday because it's a friend of her son's that invited us. To be honest, I barely know the woman and see the Dad in passing when the kids play together in the local park. My husband then used his smartphone to RSVP for the family, forgetting that I had agreed to babysit the 1.5 year old son of another friend who is moving today.
The question is what do I do? The party is being held at a place and my kids will not want to miss the fun but, do I email the Mom to ask if the other child can come or is that too much?
I hate to miss the fun with my own kids and I know this other kid will love playing around as well.
Thoughts? I need to make a decision soon.

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So What Happened?

I sent my husband with the two kids and am at home babysitting the other 1.5 year old. We decided that although the venue was large (a bouncy house place) we didn't really know the family enough to request bringing an additional child. To be honest, we were surprised ours were even invited.

Thanks to all the Moms for your responses. It remind me that I really should use this resource more regularly!

Enjoy your Sunday's

Featured Answers

L._.

answers from San Diego on

Email her and tell her what happened. You may need to pay for the other boy. But I can't see why she would care.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Honestly, it is awful short notice to ask about the "extra" kid attending. I would babysit the boy and send hubby to the party w/ your two kids.

4 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I think that since Dad created this dilema that Dad needs to be the one to take your 2 kids to the party.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.☯.

answers from Springfield on

What do you mean it's "being held at a place?" LIke McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese? I would have your email send a quick text explaining the situation and then just bring him. He's 1 1/2. He's not going to feel left out if he doesn't get a treat bag, and he can probably eat off your plate. I might also tell his mother what your plans are for the morning, but I can't imagine she wouldn't say, "Wow, that sounds like fun! Enjoy!"

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would stay at home with the child being babysat. Unless the venue is one like CHuck E. Cheese where you can pay for yourself and the child. Then just sit off to the side with him, those kinds of places are a lot of fun and one should not be able to tell anyone they can't come unless the person is expected to pay for them.

If it is at their home and they are having a lot of fun things to do I would never attend with an extra child.

So, in my opinion it depends on the venue.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

If your husband rsvp'd for all of you, then have him contact the mom and let her know that he will be taking the kids, and you won't be coming. He should bring your kids to the party and you should stay home to babysit your friend's child. You should not ask to bring an extra child to their birthday party.

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S.L.

answers from Rochester on

I'd ask the mom if you could bring an extra child. I am sure that would be ok because other kids have siblings too. I did that. My son had a birthday party and I told the mother of the birthday boy that I will need to bring my daughter and she was fine with it. So, it won't be a bother. They will be understanding.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

i would send hubby to party with kids and you stay home with your friends kid party will be only a few hours

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

most parents have budgeted (and possibly reserved) for a certain number of kids so it may not be possible just to add more into the mix. if you decide to go, make sure you let her know up front that you are planning on paying for the extra kid.
khairete
S.

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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Babysitting is your priority today. That said, I'd give her a call and just tell her what happened (make sure it's ok with the moving mom that you bring her 1.5 year old to the party) and then feel her out about bringing the other munchkin or send your husband with your kids. Be apologetic, and be prepared for it not to work out if it's at a place where the number of kids invited are limited (my gym or something like that).

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Just tell her the truth - that you & your DH had a bad miscommunication & now you are in a pickle & must bow out of the party. If she then says that you bring the baby, then bring the extra child. I wouldn't ask, personally, because I am not that type of person. If the person offers, then that's different.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I would stay home with the two little ones and let the big one go with Dad.
The little ones do not know the difference and would probably rather be
home. Parties can be chaotic.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Most of all, tell hubbie not to commit for you anymore, but check the calender of events. We text all the time and keep calenders on our very basic (non-smart) phones to keep track of who is working late, ballet lessons, after school clubs, who is dropping off and picking up, etc. Life is hectic, you do not need someone making commitments for you on top of that.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

The nice things about birthday parties for children at this young age is that it gives the parents a chance to get to know one another. Especially if it is with a group of people who have children who will go to school with your children down the road. So I would go to the party. Now that you have another child to bring with you, call up the parent and be truthful, stating that your husband rsvp'd without thinking of the child you are sitting for. Let her know that you like to attend but need to bring the other child along. Offer to pay for the other child as parties at party places are not cheap as you usually pay per child. She will appreciate knowing ahead of time of the additional child. I have been to and held quite a few parties where someone just brought another child without notice. Nothing is sadder then to have an extra child attend and have them upset that there is no goodiy bag for them,as they dont understand that they were not planned for. Hope this helps!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Just keep in mind the parents will have to pay for the extra child (if they go over the max). I had to pay $80 for younger siblings that were not on the invitation but people brought them anyway!

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