BFF Necklaces

Um, please tell me that your 2nd grader didn't use the term 'bitchy'?!??!!

If you had told her no necklace, that means no necklace in my book. I would make her take it off.

That being said, in general, I don't think that there is anything wrong with having a couple of best friends. I had many best friends throughout the years...often changing from one year to the next due to changing circumstances. It wasn't until nearly high school when I formed my most lasting relationships with other girls. I do have a male friend that I have been close to since the first grade.

I understand your concern in this day and age, but my bigger concern is why you're letting her do something that you've told her is not acceptable?

Added: Who is dwelling? It was a perfectly acceptable question given YOUR choice to word it that way. We only have your words to go by and it could easily be interpreted as your child using that term...especially when you use the quotation marks (even single quotes).

Oh, it's only just begun. It continues and gets worse unfortunately. I've worked with my daughter on staying away from drama. She has a lot of friends and a set of close knit friends and yes, she had the BFF necklaces and no one got hurt. Your daughter is not going to be every single girls best friend so asking her not to have best friends (or to keep it a secret) so other kids don't get their feelings hurt is a little unfair. Now, about the "bitchy" and rude comment, whenever my daughter told me about a kid that was being mean I would tell her you just don't know what is going on in that kids life so be forgiving but stay away if it continues.

Hold one for just a second......did I read correctly that your SECOND GRADE child is saying that her friends are bitchy?? Sounds like there may be some bigger issues going on here than a necklace.

You can't choose friends for your child. You can try to encourage them in one direction or another, but the chances of that working out the way you want it to are slim to none. Why are you against her having several friends, but a few that are closer than the others? Isn't that the way most people's relationships work?

I agree with you. Ask her how she would feel if other girls were wearing the BFF necklace and she didn't have one. I think you should have her invite some of her friends over and they can make BFF jewelry boxes or something that stays at home and isn't flaunted at school.

wow...this just happened in our life and my girl is in 2nd grade also...well it happened last summer...Anyway, I agree with you and your husband. I also think you handled it great...you cannot control how others raise their children but you can use those actions in helping your own child navigate. Oh, the friendship bracelet idea is wondeful! M.

I totally agree with you and DH, and I would never buy the BFF necklaces or allow my kids to buy them because it only leads to problems. I would be mad that she went ahead and got the necklaces through her friend's mom when she knows you and DH already said no. It's not too late to say that after some thought you and DH have decided to kindly return the necklace to the friend's mom because you already told your daughter you didn't want her to have one, which she should have spoken up and mentioned at the playdate when the shopping happened. Make sure the friend and her Mom know this means you are not rejecting their close friendship, just the necklace. I think the Mom and daughter should understand. The girls I'm sure, already know they used the friend's mom to get around you.

The girl drama will go on and only escalate in the coming years. Girls often don't like to share friends. A few can be VERY jealous and possessive. Try and steer her away from the drama, and away from anyone that wants to exclude others.

I would have let her spend her own money on the necklace and not objected to it. As it is, she and her friends bought it anyway and your objections were ignored, which you have permitted.
I would also stay out of her arguments with her friends, unless they become an issue of real bullying or physical fighting. Kids argue all the time, girls especially, and it only gets worse the older they are. Listen if she wants to talk, but let them work it out for themselves.