Beyond Exhausted Parents of and Extremely Energetic Three Year Old Boy!!!!

He sounds over tired. That is a very long day. He really needs that nap. Is there no way for the babysitter can get him to rest for an hour and a half right after lunch?

My goodness he is up at 5:50am for goodness sakes.

Also how much outside time does he get at the babysitters? And I mean active, run around, yelling, climbing etc..

In a regular day care situation, in the mornings the kids were outside from 7 am to 9 or 9:30 and again in the after noons at 3:00 or 3:30 until their parents picked them up.. They were very active..

Can the daycare also feed him dinner? Like dinner at 5:30 or 6:00? That way he can come home, have a good bath and get a few stories and go to bed.

I know you all want to play with him and ask him a million questions, but that is just winding him up.. It makes it that much harder for him to calm down for sleep.

Also make sure no TV's and phone calls at night while he is around.. All of that makes it sound like a party is going on and he is being left out.

It is tough when you have such a full work schedule, but you will need to think of your sons need for sleep.. This has to be a schedule that can be kept even on the weekends.. So make sure you play a lot with him on Sat and Sundays .. try to follow that daycare routine if possible so he can stay on his schedule.

I am sending you all strength.

Ha. Had the same problem at the same age for the same reasons, albeit, only for 3 months. As in, it took 3 months to figure out a schedule that worked / a fix. Tried several things. It probably helps, though, to know that while I was married, my husband left before our son woke, and came back after he was in bed EVERY night... so the only schedule I needed to / had to sort was my own.

Here was the "fix" that worked.

I gave up bedtime.

On nights where I would be coming home AT bedtime, I stayed away for an extra hour, and then I txt'd to make sure he was really down, before coming home.

Did it mean I didn't get to see him? Yep. 2 nights a week, I didn't see him (12 hour shifts at the hospital).

I had the following choice: Get to see him, and he doesn't get enough sleep by a long shot (aka good for me, bad for him)... or... let his babysitter put him down.

It wasn't the first time I realized that the 'sacrifices for your child' that people talk about were not what I had envisioned, nor was it the last.

____

I should add... I was lucky enough to SORT of be able to set our schedules. The first day after the 12 hour shift(s)... I stayed home, and we didn't do preschool. We tried preschool on that day for awhile, in no small part because 3 days in a row were 'required', but our preschool teacher rocked. (She was also the owner and had 30 years in). 3 days in a row was the rule BUT she suggested that we try skipping that day and adding another. It ended up working out PERFECT with our family.

He actually may be overtired and too wired to relax to go to sleep from all the running and playing hard. Since he wants (and needs) to "play," after not seeing you all day make sure it is only quiet games and reading, nothing involving tickling, running, jumping, no TV or video games, etc. If he still fears monsters make some Monster Spray (lavender oil in water in a spray bottle) and spray it all around his room, under his bed and in his closet. Keep the lights dimmed all throughout his bedtime routine, even while reading, and speak in hushed voices. Let him know that everyone is going to bed, turn out all the lights and put him in his room, making sure he knows there's to be no main light on or playing with toys, other than his lovies in his bed.

Hang in there!

The problem is that you are missing his sleep window. His body is ready to go to bed earlier, but since it isn't an option, the adrenaline kicks in to help him stay awake, and then he goes into overdrive.

Since he doesn't nap, he probably should be going to bed by 8 the latest. Dinner should be no later than 6-6:30.

Does your son eat dinner at a regular time? When you pick him up at 7:30, he should be in his PJs already, and as soon as you get home you should brush his teeth and put him to bed. We took our kids to family swim yesterday, and there was a women in the changing room putting her kids right into their PJs. It was only 5:45, but I have a feeling she was setting it up to have them in bed at by 7. There is no need for a bath every day either, and we do showers when they need to be clean but it is getting late.

As to spending time with him, hubby can come in the door and just read him books, but seriously, you need to make his sleep a priority. He should be sleeping at least 11 hours every night, so if you are getting him up at 6, he should be going to bed at 7.

I think you or your husband (or both) need to fix your schedule because it is not working. He is way overtired. Or you could get a live in nanny or equivalent evening care to pick up your son by 6 pm or so, feed him and put him to bed by 8-8:30.

Okay, I know it's tough w/your schedules but there are some things you can do to prep so you're not getting him to bed so late.
-Do you have any family close by that could babysit him at YOUR house?
-On your day off, prep meals & freeze so you can pull them out the night before & simply have to re-heat, add salad in a bag, canned veggie,bread
That way the meals will be FAST to re-heat & eat.
-Put a nightlight in his room
-Watch what you watch on TV. If a scary movie advertisement comes on, change the channel quickly
-Tell you son, monsters aren't real & have him check his room w/you. For
instance: the closet etc. Keep his curtains closed at night.
-You will get some more of a routine FOR HIM when you are home on maternity leave w/#2.
-Pick out clothes the night before so you will be ready in the morning
-Any way your hubby can get home earlier & help?
-Make sure he gets more energy burnt during the day: running, active play etc.

He is way overtired!! There is no way he gets an average of 11-12 hours of sleep per week unless he is sleeping over 14 hours per night when you are not working (6 pm - past 8 am???). There is simply not enough time for him to sleep if you are staying up with him after getting home so late and waking him so early, there is no opportunity for consistency unfortunately.

Hopefully baby number two will be here soon and you can get him on a decent schedule. Best of luck!!!

Unfortunately it is a wicked fact of life that overtired kids become overactive and sleep deprived parents become overwhelmed! I think the other mamas have given you enough advice. I just wanted to remind you that (1) This too shall pass (2) You are not alone (3) Before you know it you will have forgotten how bad it really was! :) A big hug to all of you from a mom who survived ... my kids are teens now! :)

We had a similar problem, my now 3.5 year old son would get crazy and be up until at least 10. He was able to get enough sleep though, still sleeping 10 hours a night. Anyway, for a long time I would just put him to bed at 9:30 or 10 and let him play quietly in his room (could go on for an hour or more). That worked for a few months, and then I started pushing it back. Sometimes he was in his room at 8:30, and still playing at 10 or 10:30, but then he would finally lay down and sleep on his own. Then, he just started to stay in his bed a few weeks ago. I now try to put him down by 9, he is still awake for a little while but just quietly talking to his toys, and then he falls asleep. He sleeps until 8 every morning. He still says he is scared sometimes (that wasn't the issue when he was staying up late, he just didn't want to go to bed), but we talk about it and tell him we are close by.

This may not get better until you are able to get home with him earlier. He really wants to spend time with you and your husband, and that is why he gets crazy and stays up. My suggestion for you for now is to slowly move back his bed time, maybe 20 or 30 minutes at a time, and stay there for at least a few days, then move back more. If he has already eaten, you could probably get him home at 8, and then have an hour of low key play with him, where you and/or your husband focused entirely on him. Then start up a simple bedtime routine. We have always had a routine, and it has never actually helped until now. Ours is, pajamas, brush teeth, read two books. If he doesn't get his pajamas on or brush teeth when we are ready, he starts losing reading time (he really likes to read). Only once or twice has he gone to bed without me reading to him, and then he stopped fooling around after that. It will get better, you just have to keep at it and get your schedule sorted out.

I suggest you talk to the pedi about this and see if melatonin is something that he agrees will help your family get on a better schedule. The thing is you have to keep it consistant - you are re training him when to sleep and when to begin producing melatonin.

Try the Dr. Ferber sleep solutions book. Its not just for babies, but toddlers, school aged children, even teens. It will address reestablishing a bedtime routine, dealing with Monsters. Ratcheting up to an earlier bedtime, and getting him to sleep in at night.

Whatever approach you decide on, be prepared to stick to it, tooth and nail for 2+ weeks. A different strategy every night will just add to the confusion.

Best to you and yours
F. B.